Lines Crossed

Disclaimer: NCISLA characters belong to Shane Brennan. All original characters and this story are mine.


Chapter 12

Somewhere over Arizona

The adrenaline drained from her body. She sat on the private jet and stared out at the scenery. Guilt rippled through her. This was not her. She didn't succumb to her rage and deliberately hurt another person—-no matter how evil they were.

"Kill or be killed." Gibbs' words echoed in her mind.

Perhaps he was right.

"Nell?"

She turned and faced her boss. Hetty leaned over and placed her hand over her forearm.

"How are you doing?"

Nell nibbled on her lower lip, her hazel eyes wide and unsure.

"I could never be an monster," she blurted out.

"No, you couldn't. I would never wish you to be either. You have goodness inside of you that's too precious, for you to ever be one."

"I let my anger get the better of me. I wanted to take his hand off." She sucked in a heavy breath and blinked away the tears that threatened to spill.

"It's gets to the best of us, my dear. Don't let it make you think that you would have. I doubt very much that you would have gone through with it." She gave her a reassuring smile.

Nell fisted her hands on the armrests. "But I wanted to. And you knew I was thinking it, because you called Gibbs to get me out of there."

"Wanting and doing are two very different things." Hetty rubbed her hand gently over Nell's young soft skin. Her own hands had aged and were tough like leather.

"Janvier was trying to taunt you—-he made that rage burst through. He's good at that. But you being there threw him off balance. You showed him that you meant business. Even if he could contact any of his associates, he's lost his will to continue to hurt Mr Callen or yourself again. You've taken that power from him. After you left, he had that look of defeat in his eyes."

She let her words sink in, before she continued. "We heard him say something."

Nell's knitted her brows, "what did he say?"

"You've won, G. Callen. You have what I never had. People around me who cared enough to protect me."

"We did it?"

"No, Mrs Callen. You did it."

"But I didn't do much at all." She gave her a quizzical expression.

"Yes you did. You faced your demon—-your husband's demon."

Her hands shook and she crossed them over her chest to keep them steady. "We're safe?"

Hetty gave her a warm smile. "Yes, my dear, you're safe."

It was like Hetty had unlocked her emotions. The flood gates opened and the tears fell. All her fears that Janvier would send someone else after her, vanished. She choked on a sob.

"We need to tell G. He'll be happy to know…"

"He can never know what you did."

"But he needs to know."

She shook her head. "No. If he ever found out…"

The realisation hit her hard, like being slammed against a brick wall. "I can't keep this a secret from him. He's my husband."

Her eyes darted around the jet, trying to get a grip on the news. "He'll know if I lie to him."

"Then you better practise your deflecting techniques, Mrs Callen. We've been working on this for three months."

She nodded. "Yes, we have. But I thought it was to trick Janvier, I never expected…"

"That it was for you to hide the truth of what you've done from Mr Callen?"

Nell heaved out a heavy breath. "Yes."

"Give it time. It'll get easier."

"But what if I can't?" Her heart thumped heavily in her chest.

"It's not a matter of what if, Mrs Callen. It's a matter of what we need to do to protect your husband. He's been through so much already—-he lost his mother and sister at such a young age. And who knows if his father managed to fake his death again and is indeed alive. I doubt he can deal with losing you. Which is why Miss Taylor never had a chance."

Nell nodded. She understood where Hetty was coming from—-she was doing what it took to protect Callen, not only from harm, but from losing her.

"Perhaps you could do with some time in the gym on our return. Expel those excess nerves from today's trip."

"I could do with doing something."

Hetty was always right, Nell realised. Anything to keep her from revealing her secret to Callen. She couldn't face it if he found out what she'd done today. She saw his worry, his fear, that he would lose her again—-next time, for good.

Office of Special Projects, Los Angeles

The bull pen was empty on her return. She knew they were out east on a case, and she sighed with relief, knowing it would keep them out of the office for the rest of the day. Perhaps even overnight. The timing of this case couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Except for the fact that a woman had been raped and murdered. She shuddered at the thought.

She needed to work harder, to make herself tougher, like Kensi. She needed to prove to Callen that she could protect herself. Then he could relax and things could go back to what they were before she'd been kidnapped.

Who was she kidding? Of course life would never be the same. Her experiences changed her for life. She no longer took her own safety for granted. She was on constant guard, wherever she went. She was just as paranoid as Callen. But at least now she knew, Janvier no longer posed a threat to them.

Owen Granger stood on the mat, waiting for her. Her mind had delayed her and she saw his impatience running thin. "I thought I'd have to send a search party out to find you."

Owen's eyes reminded her of an old oak tree that she'd recently spent a great deal of time hiding in. Deep brown speckles mingled with lighter hues. His years of experience as an agent had weathered him, yet his strength from youth remained and he was very much full of life. She didn't doubt he'd be an easy partner to bring down. She didn't want easy either. She needed to dispel her emotions from earlier.

"Bring it on."

Sweat beaded across her brow and down her back. She leaned forward and went for the attack. Granger was good. He read her intention and blocked her every move. She shook her arms out to loosen the muscles. She needed to outwit him. She darted left and quickly changed direction, like in a ballet routine. She shifted right and caught him off guard, kicking him behind the knee and he fell. He cried out in agony, guilt washed over her.

"I'm sorry. I forgot that was your bad knee."

She watched him steady himself back up on his feet, he quickly gave his knee a rub and refocused.

"Never apologise to your opponent, Mrs Callen." His husky voice echoed through the gym.

"Gotcha!" Nell refocused and went for another lunge.

Time went on, she had no idea how long she and Granger had been on the mat, sparring. He'd been a tough opponent, but she needed it. And she had to agree, it did her good to sweat out her frustrations of the trip.

A cheer rang out when she flipped Granger over her small shoulder. Her head snapped up and she saw the agents had returned.

"You're back." A smile spread across her sweaty features.

A smirk spread across Callen's face, impressed with her skills. "You've been training."

"You know I have, so what's the big deal?" Her brow arched in question and her hands rested on her hips.

A chuckle escaped Sam's lips. "I'll leave you to it."

He slapped his partner on the back. "Night."

Nell looked up at the windows and saw it was dark outside. "It's that late already?"

"It's been a real long day." Callen stepped forward. "I'd ask if you missed me, but I see you've kept yourself occupied."

"Assistant Director Granger needed a sparring partner, you were all out, so he asked me."

Callen nodded over towards their senior boss. "How's the knee?"

"It's been better. Thanks for the session, Mrs Callen." Granger looked back at the team leader. "How's the case going?"

"Pretty straight forward. Another Corporal in the unit was infatuated with the victim. She refused his advances and he couldn't deal with it. So he took it into his own hands to get his own way. She fought hard against him. The autopsy showed she'd given him some deep scratches, leaving his DNA inside her nails."

Callen shook his head. "Some people are just plain stupid. They don't think about consequences for their actions. But he made it an easy open and shut case for us."

Callen yawned. "It's been a long day, Sir."

"I'll see you both tomorrow." Granger headed for the men's showers.

"See you, Sir."

As soon as Granger was out of sight, Callen stepped forward and brushed her matted hair from off her face. "How about we eat in tonight? Indonesian takeout by candlelight—-he gently brushed his lips on hers.

"Hmm! Sounds good." Her eyes sparkled and her lips curved upwards.

Callen studied her for a moment, she appeared relaxed and he noted a hint of desire in her eyes. Perhaps he should get her sparring more often.

"I'll meet you in the bull pen when you're ready."

"I won't be long."

She bounced away and he shook his head, amazed at her strength and courage. She'd been through more than most because she was his wife. But she appeared to be bouncing back to her old self. Something shifted inside of him. Normality was slowly returning. Perhaps tonight he just might get lucky.