A/N: This chapter is late mostly because after writing the first half I lost the entire document. With all of that time wasted and a crushed heart it took several days until I was able to mass up enough motivation to try again. Well enough about me, enjoy!
Warning:This fic contains yuri/lesbian/girl-on-girl content. It also contains incest which is one of the main driving points of the plot. If you are offended by such material I ask you to please stop reading.
Disclaimer:I do not own Rosario Vampire nor do I make any money from writing this, the characters and setting all belong toIKEDA AKIHISA
Chapter 12: Love's Dilemna
When Kokoa awoke that morning she noticed a small routine had started to affirm itself in her everyday waking. First there would be loud raucous knocking on the door, followed by the swift entrance of Bertha. No protests she could give would dissuade Bertha from walking right up to the curtain and throwing it wide open, letting the early morning sunlight burn her eyes.
Shortly after Bertha would begin another pointless and long winded outburst, picking out Kokoa's clothes and laying them out beside her for her to do the final choosing of what she wanted to wear. When she was dressed Kokoa would be ushered out of her room where she would meet Moka. The older Vampire always looked as if she had stepped right out of a modelling magazine, always a long, slim dress which perfectly show cased just how magnificent Moka was.
It irked Kokoa that Moka always seemed to be waiting for her as if she'd woken up hours before Kokoa. Always prim, lady like and without a flaw. Then the both of them would be directed to the dining room where they would feast on extravagant dishes, Kokoa had even begun to crave cereal the food was so rich and gaudy.
From there their mornings were over and the two occupied themselves in whatever way they could, the funeral was just around the corner and the final preparations were said to be in way. However neither Moka nor Kokoa had seen anything that looked like preparation.
With each day that passed the weight on Kokoa's heart grew and Moka seemed to submerge deeper into this façade of the seamless proper daughter. She was slipping into the image of the old perfect Moka Kokoa used to admire so much, yet…
"My lady,"
Kokoa spun around in surprise, Bertha was bowing in a low tilt. "What is it?" Kokoa asked, puffing up her chest and trying to sound as proper as possible. Lately she was feeling her previous insecurities seep in, Akua and Moka were always so impeccable. She…she never matched them. Never had and it seemed she never would.
"Your Father, the Master would like to see you in his study. He said that he wished to talk to you."
"Oh, I see." Kokoa nodded now slightly flustered. Why would father want to see me? She wondered to herself before continuing down the hallway before she realized she had no idea where her father's study was. "Um…Where is Father's study?"
Bertha smiled in that comely way of hers that always made Kokoa feel she was half her age. "Right this way my Lady." Kokoa followed three footsteps behind her mind occupied in wonder at why she would be summoned. Their father made it a rule to eat dinner with them every night. No night was as bad as the first but none were really comfortable either, it seemed to Kokoa that the idea of a normal family dinner was a far off dream. But besides from dinner their father never spoke to them much, he was always busy doing some form of work or another.
"My Lady, we've arrived." Bertha laid a hand on her shoulder, shocking Kokoa away from her thoughts. Bertha was gesturing towards a set of large twin doors, the wood was oak, deep brown and sturdy looking. The golden handles were enamelled with depictions of vampires feeding. Kokoa realized she had never been in this room ever before.
"Thank you," Bertha bowed again and Kokoa sent her away with a wave of her hand. After taking a deep breath she placed her willowy hands on the intimidating door and forced it open. Her father was sitting in the middle of the room on a plush garish armchair, seated in front of a low fire. The flames were reflecting off the black of his pupils. He hadn't seemed to notice Kokoa yet, too absorbed in his own thoughts.
"Umm, Father I'm here." Her father inclined his head lightly to show he had heard her, shaking his head he stood up to his full height. Kokoa barely came up to the middle of his abdomen, he beckoned her closer and when she was within arm's reach he seized her in a crushing bear hug. The sudden movement left Kokoa frozen.
"My beautiful daughter!" Kokoa rolled her eyes at him annoyed at the theatrics. Her father was always like this, he spent no time with her yet still deigned to treat her as if he actually knew anything about her. He acted all protective over her but never stopped once to think when he made his daughters fight each other. He waxed poetic about equality but often forgot about her whenever one of her others sisters had impressed him. He clearly held favourites and was as talented as a swimming fish when it came to hiding them.
Still Kokoa kept silent like she always did when her father was around and waited for him to finish having his fun. When he was finished Issa Shuzen ruffled Kokoa's hair. He sat down and offered a chair to Kokoa.
"It's time we have a chat I think, without the other two that is. I'm low on work for the moment so I wanted to bond a little. Tell me Kokoa, how has your stay been so far?" Her father reclined into his chair as he said all of this, throwing a leg atop the other and looking at Kokoa with his full attention.
"It's great," she answered dutifully unable to keep her father's gaze, "Kou-chan's been having a great time too. He's been spending most of his time in the forest where I found him. Meeting his own family…I think."
"Kou-chan? Oh right the bat." Her father leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. "And school? Will you be attending again next year? Or leave with Moka?"
The question caught Kokoa slightly off guard before she realised her dad knew as much as anyone how obsessive she was of Moka during her younger years. It was logical of him to assume she only went to school because of Moka, because originally she had. "I-I'm actually not sure…I mean I'd like to…" I think. Kokoa didn't really have many friends in the same year as her. Zero actually.
"Well it doesn't matter really. You can do whatever pleases you. Although maybe too much freedom is bad. I wouldn't want you to get snatched away by some delinquent boy and denounce your family in the pursuit of love." Issa Shuzen laughed at the frankly flat and overtly cliché joke. They continued the meaningless talk for a little while longer before Bertha knocked on the door and brought in tea and biscuits.
It was whilst Kokoa was sipping her sweet tea that her father said whilst biting into a lemon cream: "Kokoa, I feel I need to apologise to you." Kokoa looked up from her tea and tilted her head.
"What for?"
He kept quiet, the crunch of his biscuit the only sound he made. His eyes were back on the flames of the fire, staring at it with intensity almost a desire. "I heard that…that you were the one who killed Kahlua." Her father's eyes never left the fire and his voice was distant.
Kokoa couldn't speak. Was he angry? Was he sad? Did he think she was a monster? Kokoa knew she should say something, to tell him that she had no choice that it wasn't her fault. But none of those were true. She should say something, but she couldn't.
"I see." The atmosphere in the room thickened and the fire spat, as if trying to fend off the gloom. Issa remained still, unflinching as a stone statue. The tea in Kokoa's cup lost all its appeal as she felt her tongue recede down her throat. "Then I truly must apologise…For having to put you through that. I…If only…"
Now Kokoa's worry turned to confusion, why should he apologise? "Wh-why are you apologising?" She asked forcing herself to look up. She willed her father to look at her with newfound courage. Her father had never apologised to her in her life, not once. The simple act had left her with an unsure heart and fickle confidence.
"It must seem strange I'm sure. Fairy Tale and her deaths were events out of my control, or at least it seems so. No I could have stopped all of this. If only I hadn't been so blind. Been such a horrible husband and father. "
"Father…"
"Kokoa I don't think you realise just how at fault I am. I think Moka does, that would explain why she's been so cold to me." Issa chuckled softly offering Kokoa a wistful smile, "I'm kind of glad you haven't realised it. It makes me feel maybe I didn't fail so much as your father." He leaned back into the chair, pinching the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger.
"If I'm going to apologise I'm going to do it right okay. So listen up." He grabbed Kokoa's hands with his own squeezing lightly trying to comfort her. "You've grown up wonderfully Kokoa. You're as beautiful as I knew you would be, your other two sisters don't realise just how close they are to being overtaken. I should have told you this a long time ago but I'm proud to have you as my daughter. It's something I needed to tell both you and your mother."
"I never paid you enough attention and because of that Gyokuro ended up scorning you. It's my fault you had such a bad childhood. Your mother was so angry and hurt when I told her about Akasha, she should have left me but she stayed. I thought your mother and Akasha could become friends but I never realised how deeply Gyokuro cared for me or how strongly she hated Akasha. She tried to win back my love with you but… I ignored you because I was so smitten with Akasha and Moka. Because of that I hurt both you and your mother. It's because of me that your mother hated Akasha and Akasha's ideal for man and monster to co-exist. It's because of me she founded Fairy Tale to help Alucard, it's my fault she brought Kahlua to her side and it's my fault you had to kill your own sister. All of this…is my fault."
Her father's hands were crushing her own but Kokoa barely noticed the pain, she was too taken up by her father's confession. "So Kokoa, my youngest daughter I am sorry. So sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I never wanted to imagine my daughters killing each other. I wanted you to all work together, to grow stronger with each other. I wanted a happy family. But I failed, and for that I'm sorry."
When Kokoa thought about it she couldn't argue with any of the points he'd made. Some part of her also agreed, that maybe yes. This was his entire fault. "It's alright," and yet there was no way she could blame him for all of it. Intended goodwill sometimes just can't stop bad things from happening and so, she stood up and hit him. Hard.
Unprepared Issa went flying, his unbearably gaudy armchair went with him and cracked, splinters erupting into the air as it hit the wall opposite. Issa hit the wall right afterwards his body meeting it full force. Issa groaned as she rubbed his head searching for further injury. "There. Now we're even. It's a little arrogant to think you were the cause of all this don't you think? Well it is mostly your fault." Kokoa crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the ground in irritation. "But don't act all depressed and expect me to pity you because I won't. You caused this so do your best to fix it. If you're aware of your mistakes then do something about it. Don't just sit here and whine all day about how pathetic a person you are!"
Then he laughed which threw Kokoa off horribly. She'd never seen her father truly angry before? Was he the kind that laughed when he was angry? She really ticked him off didn't she? With every passing second her Father's laughter only grew more disconcerting. His eyes narrowed suddenly and with incredible speed he rushed at Kokoa. Kokoa lifted her arms to protect herself, only to have her body be tenderly and securely embraced.
"You know, that's exactly the kind of thing your mother would have done back in the day. She never could resist hitting me, or shouting at me. But that's what I loved about her." Her father pulled her closer, pushing her head right to his chest. She could hear the beating of his heart, feel the warmth of his skin and smell the musk of his favourite cologne. "I love you Kokoa. I loved all of you."
Kokoa remained motionless, closing her eyes and silently enjoying the show of affection. "We should have done this more often. It's nice to hug your daughter." Her father laughed again which caused her to giggle.
"Yeah," she agreed fighting the blush on her cheeks and batting the tears away. "I miss mom and Kahlua. I promised myself I wouldn't cry again but…"
"It's alright Kokoa. You can cry." He pushed her away slightly, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "I've decided. To make up for being a horrible father in the past and for disappointing both of my wives there's only one thing I can do now and that is to ensure my remaining daughters live on, happily for the rest of their days. I will do everything in my power to make ensure it. I will support you no matter what."
"Thanks."
Father and daughter embraced, washing out the regrets of past loved ones.
I'm sorry Kokoa. I have to hurt you one more time.
…
Once again Moka had found herself wasting time away in the gardens her mother always used to visit. She blinked the tiredness from her eyes, closed them and leaned back to try and mitigate the raging head ache she had accumulated. She situated herself underneath a tree that was in view of all the alternatingly coloured flowerbeds. Moka found she was able to relax here far better than any other place in the manor.
She'd been struggling to sleep lately; it wouldn't come to her as willingly as it had in the past. When she did manage to sleep it was always shallow and fitful. Plagued by unrecallable dreams. Ever since she arrived and especially after Akua's chat she'd been feeling stressed and worried. Moka would stay up for hours every night either lying in bed or taking night time strolls.
However there was one moment in each day where Moka received a short reprieve from her pains. Early in the morning when her little sister had just gotten out of bed, her hair hurriedly arranged and clothes clumsily wrinkled. When Kokoa was around Moka became calmer and her head ache disappeared entirely. They would share breakfast together and their conversations were small and meaningless but provided Moka with serene comfort.
After breakfast though she had to escape from the minor solace because whenever she spent too much time with Kokoa her thoughts always turned bitter and sour. And, when they were close to each other strange and unusual impulses presented themselves to her.
"Kokoa… when did she steal your heart from me." At what time did I become so ungrateful? They were here for a funeral Moka knew, but her own mother had never been given one. Or had she? And Moka's memories of it were sealed away? How many of her memories had been taken from her? When would she get them all back? Moka didn't know.
Spending most of her days alone had led Moka to think about a lot of things. Kokoa, Tsukune, Akua, her mother and her father. Yet she never came to any conclusions in her thought. The longer she thought the more questions she found and the more answers she craved. Sometimes in the dark recesses of her mind a question would bite at her, insistent, demanding to be answered. Which Moka was the one everyone loved?
"Onee-sama?" Only one person ever called her that. Moka opened her eyes a colour of reddish-orange standing out amongst the other fuzzy shades of green, white and blue. Kokoa wore clothes different to those she had donned this morning. Her current attire was a frilly, ivory one piece. Moka knew instantly Kokoa hadn't chosen these clothes. Yet the contrast to what she usually wore captured Moka's attention.
"Yes, do you need something?"
"W-well no…but yes," Kokoa began making little sense, "Do you want s-some company? I was bored so I was walking around and saw you here and thought you looked a little lonely…"
What I really need is some sleep and a clear mind, is what she thought. "Sure." Is what she said. She came here to avoid Kokoa but the sweet solace her sister brought was too great for Moka to deny when it was offered right to her. Already the banging in her head had quieted down like Kokoa was some miracle medicine.
"So I heard you got called to Father's study. Is there anything I need to worry about?" She asked Kokoa, glancing at her sideways as Kokoa carefully sat beside her.
"Oh yeah… Well nothing serious really," Kokoa told her with a nervous laugh. "He was just apologising to me, for not giving me enough attention when we were little."
Father apologise? The thought was alien. Well at the very least it's about time he was sorry for something. "I hope that wasn't everything. I could write a whole list of things that man should apologise for."
"Well actually he also apologised for Fairy Tale. He though if he had done something he could have stopped the whole thing from happening! But it was stupid of him to think that so I uh… I hit him."
If Moka didn't have such great hearing she would have thought she misheard Kokoa, but the sheepish grin on Kokoa's face said otherwise. "You…hit…Father." Moka said, bewildered. Kokoa nodded. Moka began to chuckle, she imagined her father's look of shock and Kokoa's textbook outraged demeanour. "You hit Father! I would never have been able to do that. Did you hit him hard?"
"Well I broke his chair." Kokoa said beginning to laugh a little herself.
"The big ugly one?" Moka's chuckle grew until it became actual laughter, unconsciously an impulse took hold of her and she rested her hand over Kokoa's. "You amaze me sometimes Kokoa. That man needed some sense knocked into him."
"Yeah, it's a little too late to start regretting how he raised us but…at least he knows. It wasn't that bad really." Kokoa said, smiling wanly.
"What was it like? Living here after I left I mean. I know how it was for you before that, but not after I had left."
Hesitance flickered across Kokoa's eyes at the question, "Well to be honest I can't remember it that well. You know the day you left I didn't understand what was going on. The day before it was your birthday and suddenly without any explanation your hair was pink you had a Rosary and you were leaving. You've told me what happened but half our home was destroyed, you almost died and I don't remember any of it! It's so frustrating."
Moka squeezed Kokoa's hand in support and nodded, "I know how you feel. With Alucard defeated I got most of my memories back. Mother did it to protect me, to protect everyone but I know how irritating it is not knowing what happened. And when you hear about it or remember it, you feel confused." Like you're not even sure of who you really are.
"Yeah…it sucks." Kokoa's face ticked the way it always did when she got mad. "After you left I guess mostly I was just really lonely. Things at home didn't change except I no longer had you." Kokoa looked away from Moka, leaning in slowly to rest her head on Moka's shoulder. "Is this okay?" Kokoa asked in a voice just above a squeak.
"Yeah." Unthinking Moka pressed her nose into Kokoa's hair, smelling the light scent of her shampoo.
"Remember when we used to fight each other?" Moka nodded, remembering well the way their father had often made them fight to gauge their strength.
"It's practice. I need you to be able to protect yourselves," was how he defended the whole matter, but it still made Moka angry to remember it.
"I always lost. Kahlua always went easy on me, Father got so bored with the fight one time he scolded Kahlua and made her go harder on me. Akua always laughed at me, making fun of how weak I was. Fighting always made me depressed. But then I got to fight you, you went your all against me. You finished me in seconds! But you never laughed at me or acted like I was worthless."
"It made me happy there was someone who fought me properly, who saw me as an opponent and not some weakling. I knew I never compared to you but since that day I wanted to be just like you. Sure you laughed at me when I told you that but… you were the only one who talked to me like I was a person. So I guess, after you left…I had no-one to make me feel better about myself. No-one to talk to."
Moka wasn't really sure what to say in response. She couldn't exactly apologise, the events that had caused that were beyond her control. So Moka decided to speak her mind, "You know Kokoa, I couldn't stop myself from leaving. My Inner self wasn't even aware of it at the time. But when I was conscious enough to begin thinking, I thought about mom and right after that I thought about you. You annoyed me to no ends when we were little. But that's normal for sibling's right? To get on each other's nerves. You were the only one I ever really thought of as a sister."
You're the only person I've ever thought about so much and that's what makes all of this so difficult.
Kokoa remained silent, pressing herself harder against Moka. The scent of Kokoa was beginning to overwhelm Moka. Her tongue flicked out to wipe across her lips, the memory of Kokoa's blood a phantom taste on her lips. The rise and fall of Kokoa's chest mirrored her own, yet hers was noticeably shakier.
"I'm not sure about you being the only one I've ever considered being a sister, but… you're definitely the sister I love most." Oh I know, but which me do you love most? Moka shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the bitter thought.
"Yeah, you're the sister I care most about as well." She promised herself she wouldn't ask Kokoa this question, she'd learnt long ago you shouldn't ask questions when you're afraid of the answer. But her mind began to wonder again, over and over. She knew or rather guessed at the extension of Kokoa's feelings for her, she was quite confident they were something stronger than sisterly love. But Kokoa had only ever held idolisation, a supreme affection for her. These romantic feelings she suspected must be aimed at…
"Kokoa… Are you glad you can remove the Rosary." It wasn't the question she was afraid of asking, but it would give her a clue of where Kokoa's heart lies.
"Eh?" She craned her neck upwards meeting eyes with Moka. "Of course I am! It means I can see this side of you whenever I want." This side of me…
"Then tell me Kokoa, how do you feel about the other me?"
"The other you? Well I love her too you know. She's really nice and kind. And she always cooks really nice food. I kind of miss her cooking, all this fancy food is getting to me."
Moka snickered, not surprised at all by the answer. "Of course you love her. She's sweet, compassionate, and funny. Everything I'm not. She's a lot more likeable than me isn't she?"
"Ow!" Kokoa exclaimed wrenching her hand away from Moka who had suddenly applied crushing force to it. "What? I never said any of that! And what's with trying to break my hand?"
She's so much more loveable than I am. Everyone loves her more. "Leave Kokoa, I've had enough talking for today." Moka's mood had quickly plummeted, becoming bitter and resentful.
"What? But you're angry? What did I say wrong?" Kokoa was flabbergasted, she tried to look Moka in the eyes but Moka turned away.
"It's nothing you said. You said exactly what I thought you would say that's it. Now go, before my mood gets worse."
Kokoa bit her lip, unsure what to make of the situation. She didn't want to make Moka angrier but there was no way she could just leave after how close they'd just been. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."
"Forget it. If you don't want to leave I'm going to." She stood up quickly beginning leave.
"Wait!"
There was a loud crack in the air as Moka slapped Kokoa's hand away. "Why do you care at all how I feel? When this whole funeral business is over you're just going to slap the Rosary back on me! Then you can all have fun with the other me!
Kokoa first noticed the tears, followed by the way Moka's hands trembled. She was taken aback by the situation, unable to comprehend just what was going on.
"That's what you always do right? Only let me out whenever it's convenient for you or when I ask you to. Otherwise you'd be more than happy to just let me sit alone in the Rosary! Who needs mean old me when you can have her cooking for you the whole time!"
"That's not true at all!" Kokoa shouted back, trying to think of something else to say.
"Of course it's true! When the Rosary broke we went to freaking China just to get it fixed! Everyone would much rather fly all the way there to deal with the Yokai underground than have to spend any more time with me. Why did they do that? Was it that bad you wouldn't be able to see her again? Couldn't you all just let me live in my own body again?"
Kokoa opened her mouth to say something but immediately choked it back upon receiving a glare from Moka. "Th-that's not true! We needed to get the Rosary fixed to protect you! To keep you safe!" From what? Kokoa immediately asked herself.
"You know Kokoa I always knew you loved me. The real me and that thought made me so happy. But then I got to thinking and I realised something. Do you remember what the key to my Rosary is?"
Kokoa remembered, she remembered clearly those words that had brought her so much hope. "Someone that will never harm you. Only someone who truly never wants to see you hurt can remove the Rosary."
Moka smiled sadly. "That's right. But when I was done deluding myself that Tsukune loved me as much the other Moka I realised there was something funny about that. Why not someone with a pure good heart? Or someone who would never hurt those he cares about? Why someone that will never harm me?"
"And then it got me thinking even more, why could Tsukune remove it? He'd only met the Outer me, he didn't even know I existed! Kokoa tell me how can you hold any emotions for something, someone you didn't even know existed? It's sweet to think that somehow he just knew, could just feel that for me. But it's impossible. He didn't know about me, therefore there's no way he could have cared about me. But of course he knew Outer, he cared for Outer."
"That's how I knew the key didn't apply to me, it applied to Outer. The more I thought about it the more it made sense, why couldn't you originally take off the Rosary? It's obvious at first, it's because you wanted to fight me. To beat me. But did you truly want to hurt me? You wanted to hurt Outer me so that I might come out, you wanted to see me. I thought this over and over in my mind trying to affirm what I suspected."
"Later on you lost all interest in fighting me. Yet still you couldn't remove the Rosary. I knew without a doubt you cared for me, would probably even give your life for me but still you couldn't remove the Rosary. Then again I thought more about it, if you loved me so much how would you feel for Outer me who existed purely to deny you access to me. You'd want her to not exist wouldn't you? Some small part of you would want her gone! And then I realised that's why you couldn't remove the Rosary! You still loved me more than her. You wanted her gone so you could always be with me."
"But then I removed the Rosary…" Kokoa whispered to herself in grim realisation.
"Exactly. When was the last time you ran at me with so much enthusiasm because you couldn't contain how happy you were to see me? All you do these days is stand there not making any sound, not looking at me." Moka's voice cracked, the sound was horrible, "I thought I wouldn't mind being second in Tsukune's heart as long as I was first in yours but…when you removed the Rosary I knew you had given up on me."
"When…when did you decide you love her more than me?"
…
For Kokoa she had never been more shocked in her entire life than she was right now. She understood completely what Moka was saying, but could not deign to comprehend how she had come to such an outrageous conclusion. She loved Outer Moka more than the real one? She would have laughed had anyone else implicated such.
Maybe she was right about the whole truth to the key, it actually made quite a lot of sense to her. But just because she could remove the Rosary meant she no longer loved the real Moka? Yeah right. "Come on Moka that's ridiculous. You can't really believe that can you?"
"Well it's the truth. It's not a matter of believing it's a matter of knowing."
Kokoa stepped forward, swallowing any hesitation she felt. "You know that's not true. It means nothing more than the fact that I don't want to hurt the other you. It tells you nothing of who I love more!"
Moka's crimson eyes flashed and she looked away irresolute, "Then why… why do I feel that isn't true."
She was struggling to find any words she could use to console her older sister other than the obvious ones. "Just what were we talking about a few minutes ago? We were talking about how you're the one I love the most, how it was you who made me happier. You not her."
Moka looked unsure now, having her logic challenged like this. After she'd thought it out so many times she forced herself to see it as the truth. In a few words was Kokoa going to undo all those hours of thinking? "So…what. She wasn't there yet if she was you would have melted for her completely. She's better than I am. Everyone likes her more."
"And when did you suddenly start caring about whether or not people like you!" Kokoa roared so loudly that the birds in the tree took to flight. "You're Moka Akashiya. Daughter of Akasha Bloodriver and Issa Shuzen! So what if Tsukune likes the other you more? I know how it feels to be second in someone's heart and I know it sucks! But you want to know what I think? Alright fine. Call me biased but I know that you are the most beautiful, most powerful, most amazing being in the entire world! You like you are now are my most beloved person, ever!"
As the words escaped her lips unimaginable embarrassment overwhelmed her. She felt her cheeks heat up rapidly and all she wanted to do was crawl under a rock. But she stayed and didn't lift eye contact from Moka until Moka understood just what she meant. I love you so much more thank you know, so much more than I should. So much that there's no way my love could ever be fulfilled.
After one second of crushing silence Moka cracked a thin, bare grin. She pushed her back against a tree and slid down until she was sitting with her knees pointing to the sky. Positioning her hand over an eye Moka began to shake her head. "Sorry about that. That outburst was unnecessary and so ugly."
"I-It's okay…" Kokoa said softly, wiping away the condensed tears that had accumulated around her eyes.
"Kokoa," Moka whispered in beckoning. Kokoa looked up, articulating a question. She stepped closer pressing for a response. Her hand was robbed from her, her legs buckled in shock at the sudden tug which had pulled her forward.
Suddenly she was pressed against Moka, her body tucked into the gap of Moka's legs fitting like a puzzle piece. Moka's mild aroma of rose petals surrounded her, hands pushed against her one by her head the other coming in from the small of her back. Kokoa was stiff in surprise but almost immediately the warmth of Moka's body melted her. As if the muscles in her body had transformed to jelly she softened into the tender embrace.
"Thank you. I'm sorry I took out my own insecurities on you. I just couldn't handle the idea you'd given up on me. Anyone but you." Moka tightened her hold around Kokoa leaving not a centimetre of space between them. "It was stupid of me to doubt you of all people… Thank you."
When Kokoa tried to respond she tasted the coppery tinge of her own blood. She had bitten her tongue in her shock at being pulled so suddenly. Moka's eyes deepened when she noticed, she motioned her hand towards Kokoa's face. Her fingers touching the skin almost reverently, sweetly Moka cupped Kokoa's cheek brushing hair from her eyes.
"You're hurt," Moka exhaled in a rusty breath. Her eyes were clouded, her breathing deep and trembling. "I don't know why… I shouldn't but…I want to kiss you."
The world went white for an instant. Lips, soft and warm. Tongue eager yet hesitant, sweet and sultry.
"Kokoa," she heard her named moaned by an incredibly seductive voice. The sound was dripping with need, sauced in desire. Kokoa's mind went blank. All she could do was return the seductive ministrations of the intruder.
"I love you." One of them panted, searching for words that might express the intense emotions they felt.
"I love you more." The other one replied, brain too preoccupied for any display of eloquence. The two kissed deeply, satisfying their forbidden desires. Seeking to find some escape, even if only for a moment.
"Yes, love me."
…
"Are you absolutely sure about this? You're not trying to fool me are you, because if you are Akua…"
She smirked, biting lazily at the red apple held in her hand, "You can tell can't you? Don't tell me you need any more convincing. She's an exact copy of her at that age, even her personality and mannerisms are exactly alike. She is, at least in personality, exactly like your beloved Akasha." Akua held the apple to her father's head, replacing his stern expression with the much more pleasant shining crimson fruit.
"I will admit the resemblance is uncanny. But there is no way to make absolutely sure that what you're saying is the truth! You've lied plenty before. Why should I trust you now?"
"Now now father," mentally Akua sighed; her father could be exasperating at times, "If I didn't know any better I might just think that you don't like me at all. What have I done to deserve such distrust? I've always told you the truth when you ask me questions, sure I might have hid some things from you but what is a woman without her secrets."
"I don't have time for your attitude Akua. Tomorrow is the day and I need to be one hundred percent sure of what I'm doing. I've never observed Moka in her other form, how can I believe you when you say she has the same mannerisms as Akasha?"
"She pinches more than she bites when she sucks someone's blood, bites her lip when she's troubled, always winks with the left eye, jumps at people, favourite fruit is strawberry and she eats her apples by biting around in a circle." Akua held up her apple which she had eaten in a similar fashion. "Albeit that last one might just be a coincidence."
Come now Father, getting cold feet are we? Issa Shuzen gripped the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, sighing he sat down onto an unfamiliar chair casting his gaze to the flickering fire. "If…If it truly is a clone of Akasha's personality then…why do we have to destroy her? Can't we implement her personality onto a substitute body?"
"How naïve father," Akua chuckled at the lonesome Issa Shuzen who didn't even balk from her mocking. Everyone has dead people Father, we miss them but we must move past them. No matter how lonely and dark the path may seem. "Even if you could get hold of a proper living body Father the Akasha you knew is no more. When people die they're gone and no amount of wishing or hoping can bring them back. What you have now is no longer Akasha but a copy of her that has experienced its own world. This personality thinks of you as a father, Tsukune as a potential lover. Tell me, would you be alright letting this copy control most of your daughter's life? With this copy of Akasha loving someone that…isn't you?"
When her father failed to respond Akua knew she had won. Everyone knows the pain of the person they love falling in love with another, it's a pain everyone fears that can never truly heal. "If you don't want to do it Father I'm more than willing to do it in your stead. I just need assurance you won't seek retribution."
"What of Kokoa and Moka? How will they feel about this? I've failed enough as a father if I do this…" He argued hollowly, the argument was over and they both knew it.
"I don't believe either of them will truly hate you for this and there's no reason for them to. You're freeing your daughter, Father. Your final failure as a father would be being unable to do this."
With a slow recline her father appeared to be an old man almost devoid of life. "Alright. Please leave me, Akua. I need time alone."
"As you wish."
When Akua shut the door behind her she let the small smirk she was holding fall and crumble. In its place was built a tight, sombre line. Arriving at the gardens she was unable to spot Moka anywhere after a sweep of the outer perimeter her little sister was nowhere to be found. So Akua picked a seat where she knew Moka would inevitably pass in one of her nightly strolls and waited. An hour passed and the moon rose to take the place of the sun. Akua watched the moon rise using it to count the hours that went by.
"This is also my last time to be a good sister, to be the sister Moka deserves." She'd failed once already, she would not do so again. "Akasha, I will keep my promise. I will free Moka of your clone, I will let her live." Whenever she looked at Moka, Akua always remembered Jasmine and how she'd failed her.
"I will never forgive you!" Jasmine had shouted, tears Akua had caused falling from her eyes. Akua tried to respond to her outcry, to tell Jasmine why, but before she could Jasmine had already started running away.
If I hadn't been so afraid, if I had just run after her and tried to stop her, Akua thought to herself remembering the argument that had started the end of her world. No. Even before that. If I had never been so jealous, if I had never hurt that boy she liked then…
"But you were jealous," a voice inside her head said to her. "Jasmine liked that boy. Why though? He was so worthless. He was nothing compared to you, he didn't know her like you did, didn't love her like you did, didn't know her like you did, didn't need her like you did. Jasmine should have just forgotten that boy, you told her so. But she never listened to you."
Whose fault was it really that Jasmine had died? Hers or the humans? Akua was the reason the humans suspected her, Akua was the reason Jasmine went to go apologise and Akua was the reason the humans had tortured her… Akua was the reason Jasmine was dead.
"Hey Jasmine, how different do you think my life would be if you were still alive? No answer? Figures."
None of that mattered anymore though, it was too late to change anything. Too late to wish she had done something differently. You can't change the past, therefore you must look past it, towards the future. Well that's what Akua always told herself, but the image of Jasmine's limp body splayed lifeless, mutilated and skewered never left her.
At midnight Akua was still sitting, still waiting. Several more hours passed and Moka never arrived, when the first light of dawn climbed over the horizon Akua stood up. "I need some rest before the funeral," she told herself making her way to her room in the bare light. "Did you finally manage to get a full nights rest Moka? That's good."
Why do I love you so much Moka? You bear great resemblance to Jasmine yes, but is that enough? Well I guess that's just one of the many phenomena you leave lying in your wake. I wonder, do you realise how magnificent you are? How you affect anyone who's ever been close to you.
"I will give you a proper life Moka, you may hate me or resent me for what I do but remember what it is that drives me. Remember that I love you, because you are the only thing I have left in this world."
Everything I do, I do for you.
…
A/N: Well that's chapter 12 completed. Originally I wanted this chapter to contain an extra two scenes but then I realised that would leave the last chapter I was planning a lot shorter than the rest of my others which would have made me feel uncomfortable. Also this way I'm living up to the whole shorter chapter's sooner thing.
Focus of this chapter? Well as you can tell the Shuzen family and all the regrets they hold. Seriously this family is messed up and so I needed a chapter whereby I try to show all the members of the family trying to overcome their regrets and finding/ rediscovering their drive in life.
How were Akua and Issa? My heart goes out to the two of them the most. They both just seem really isolated from just about everyone in the entire world.
Oh and yeah since I decided to omit the other two scenes from this chapter you didn't really get all the blood I said you would.
For next time expect death at a funeral, some MoKokoa/KoMoka lovin and two cats, a fox and a panda bear. ―2Legit4You
