Ok, this chapter is pretty long but I was in a good mood and finished the story. I hope you like it!


The first thing Wilson recognized in the morning was the train rushing through his head. He groaned and opened one eye. Maybe he would remember what happened, if he saw where he was. Unfortunately he couldn't see a thing so he opened the other eye as well. Didn't help at all.

Perhaps it was still dark outside but Wilson got some hints that this was not the reason.

The oncologist was stuck in…., well, actually he couldn't say, but he was definitely stuck. Wilson felt around with his hands. It felt like his blanket but he couldn't get out from under it. And there was something else, felt like rubber, like balloons. He squeezed one of them. Felt like they were filled with…. SPLASH!

"…water.", Wilson shouted when the balloon burst and his head got all wet.

"HOUSE!", Wilson yelled but he regretted it as soon as the sharp pain raised in his head.

"What have you done now? Get me out of here!", he said in a lower voice.

The response surprised him. It wasn't his friend.


"What's going on?", a still sleepy Cuddy asked. She was looking at the moving bundle on the floor. There was a wet spot on one side.

"Wilson? What are you doing?"

"Trying to survive House's newest stunt! What are you doing here? Where's House?"
Cuddy looked at the snoring man next to her.

"Even he looks cute and nice when he's asleep.", she thought.

Immediately she felt the great feeling of love tickling in her stomach and forgot about poor Wilson.

"Hello! Would somebody get me out of here?"

"Oh stop it, Luke!", House mumbled and fell back to sleep.

Cuddy stroked his face. But the sleepy House misdiagnosed for once and slapped her hand away.

"Stupid dog!", House snapped.

Cuddy smiled. "Would your dog do this?", she asked and kissed him.

House opened his eyes. "Sorry, Lisa!", he said and kissed her back.

"I'm not used to wake up next to an angel."

This earned him a huge smile.


"Hey! I'm really happy for you two, but what the hell did you do, House?"

House sat up and looked at his masterpiece.

"It's your present, Wilson. I thought with all your caring and neediness and security I thought you would love to re-experience the feeling of being in your mother's uterus."

"Get me out, or Cuddy will be a widow before she is a mother!"

Cuddy threw House one of her typical looks. But she couldn't prevent a smirk. She stood up and got a pair of scissors to release Wilson.

"Wait a second!", House yelled and got up as well. "It's Christmas, let me unwrap a gift."

He took the scissors and felt with his hand on the blanket. Then he stabbed right into it.

"House!", Cuddy shouted shocked but then she heard another SPLASH.

"I'll kill you, House!", Wilson screamed.

"You are so mean, Greg!", Cuddy said and released her employee finally.


It wasn't until now that Wilson realized the lack of clothes. He noticed the same moment as Cuddy.

"I'm sorry!", she yelled at the sight of Wilson junior.

House laughed. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault he's got a minor."

"Cuddy, would you excuse us for a moment? I'd like to get dressed and kill House!"

"I would have helped you yesterday but now I'll stay and make sure you let him live."

She threw him his boxers. Wilson got into them and stood up. He looked at the two attached blankets.

"How would you sew with your hand?"

"Cuddy helped. She's a good housewife!", House replied.

"No, I didn't! Seriously, Greg, how did you do it?`"

House smirked and shrugged. "Magic!"

Wilson picked up one of the water balloons.

"Are those Chase's condoms?"

House grinned again. "They've never served a better purpose!"

Wilson threw the balloon at House and so they both had a wet head.

Cuddy laughed. "So I'll take care for 4 kids very soon."

She went to the door. "I'll get us some breakfast."


Wilson threw his friend a towel and got his pants.

"What happened last night?"

"You got drunk and I took my opportunity.", House answered.

"By humiliating me one more time?"

"No, by having fun with Cuddy!"

Wilson smiled. "You did it? I mean, you told her?"

House nodded. Wilson walked over and gave him a huge hug.

"Thank you, thank God. That is fantastic!", he yelled.

House gave him a pat him on the shoulder. "Merry Christmas, Wilson. I couldn't get you a real gift because I was kidnapped."

"Oh believe me, this is enough for the next ten years."

He grabbed House's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "Just don't screw it, House!"

"Don't worry. I won't"


Wilson returned to his clothes but turned back to House one more time.

"Wait a second. Did you have sex while I was lying here?"

House shrugged again.

"Cuddy likes threesomes!", he said and walked out.


Half an hour later they were all gathered around the breakfast table. Cuddy and House had been busy preparing it. Although House was rather distracting Cuddy than helping her.

Now he was looking at her stomach.

"We'll do another ultrasound when we come back. Let a real doctor take a look, so we know the sex.", House told.

"You told me it was a boy, Cuddy!", Cameron said.

"When Greg House does something, he does it right!", House smirked.

"You mean, you're expecting twins?", Cameron asked.

Cuddy nodded.

"Congratulations!", Chase said and clapped House on the shoulder. Wilson, Foreman and Cameron congratulated as well.


"Well, as long as we are spreading good news; Allison and I got engaged last night.", Chase announced with a huge smile.

"And the good news about this is what?", House snapped.

They all looked angry at him. Suddenly he chuckled.

"It's a joke, people. Congratulations to both of you. And may your little wombats be of the cutest kind!"

The others were released.

"We'll get there sooner as hoped if you don't return my birth control pills.", Cameron told him now.

"Oh relax, you took it every morning. Speaking of which", he pulled them out of his pocket "It's time for it now. Oh and merry Christmas!"

She rolled her eyes. "Thank you, House!"


Wilson still felt like crap and just looking at the food made him fell nauseous.

"I'll take a little nap.", he said and left the table. He entered his bedroom and shut the door, only to tear it open half a minute later.

"House, this is getting boring!", he said with his hair all wet again. This time the water balloon had waited for him under the pillow.

"Actually, this is your real present in there.", House pointed at the now empty but still dropping condom.

Wilson took a second look and found a piece of paper in one of House's Vicodin bottles. The oncologist got it out and read it. His angry face turned into a smile.

"Thank you, House!", he said. House nodded in return and Wilson vanished in the room again. This time he lied down on House's dry bed.


"What did you give him?", Cameron asked House.

"Obviously an empty pill box.", was House's way of telling her to mind her own business.

"Oh come on, tell us!", Cuddy interfered.

"Nope!", House got up. "Gotta walk the dog!"

When House returned and Wilson had his nap it was time for exchanging gifts. Wilson handed House a card telling him that the oncologist was paying for House's dry cleaning, ironing included.

"What kind of a gift is this? That sucks!", House complained.

"No, it doesn't! Trust me. You won't have to care for your laundry anymore."

House shrugged. "I didn't care so far. There's no difference here!"

"Yes it is. You will look better!"

"So this present isn't for me but for you. I don't care how I look, but you obviously you do, so now you can feel better, since I look better. That's ridiculous. A present is supposed to please the people who receive it, not the guy who gives it to them!"

"Oh stop it House! I'll make it up with your birthday present."

"Don't worry, Wilson. It's the perfect gift! I love it.", Cuddy interfered.

"Well, thank you, for making my girlfriend happy!", House said and sat down on the couch.


"I'm really sorry, I didn't bring you guys anything but since I wasn't able to pack myself, I'm not the one to be blamed for this."

"Yeah, I'm sure your wardrobe is filled up with presents for all the important people in your life!", Foreman snapped.

"Hey, after all, I managed to give everyone in here something. Didn't cost me a dollar."

He looked at Cuddy. "I gave her the best sex in her life and I gave my children a daddy." , now he pointed at Chase and Cameron, "I gave him back his dignity and their two day abstinence probably gave them a very hot engagement night."

Chase nodded in agreement.

"I gave my buddy here exactly what he needs and no, I won't tell you!"

Now House returned to Foreman. "And I gave you a surprise you will find out about back in the office."

Foreman looked confused. "What did you do now?"

House smiled and refused to tell. "You'll see!"


Later that day it was time to return to Princeton. They all helped together and packed up their stuff.

"Are these my condoms?", Chase asked when he saw the mess in House's/Wilson's room.

"Relax! We'll be in civilization very soon and Santa will bring you some new ones."

"Forget it! I still owe you for that black eye."

"So since you managed to become the future Mr. Cameron, how did you do it?", House asked him.

Chase smiled. "Sorry, can't help you there. You will have to figure out yourself. Just make sure it's romantic!"

"Well, piece of cake then. That's my specialty!"

"House, you already made it through the hard part. It's gonna be fine!"

"Smartass!", House snapped.


It was half past three when they finally left the cabin. House was waiting for Luke who relieved himself on a tree. The doctor looked at the house and went through the last three days in his mind. Wilson stepped next to him. "Come on, let's go!", he said and walked to the car.

"Wilson", House said and the oncologist turned around.

"If your uncle still wants to sell this place tell him to give me a call."

Wilson looked surprised. "Really?"

"Sure, my bachelor party will come up very soon. Gotta celebrate someplace. Would be a nice place to come with the children as well."

He walked past his friend. "But I'll only buy it when Chase replaces that smashed window."


Finally they arrived at Princeton. House got Luke out of the car and looked at Cuddy.

"Do you want to come to my place? No teachers today!"

She smiled and got out. "Probably no food as well."

"Don't worry! We will go out tonight anyway."

House and Wilson carried their bags inside and Wilson got home.

"Where are we going?", Cuddy asked after she had freshened up in his bathroom.

"Surprise!", he said and helped her into her coat. Luke was lying on his blanket. But as soon as his master left the house he would find a more comfortable place in House's bed.


It didn't take Cuddy long to figure out their destination.

"Greg, I thought we would get something to eat!"

"Trust me, we will!", he replied and parked the car on his hospital park spot.

Cuddy wasn't very pleased.

"Greg, this couldn't wait till tomorrow?"

"Nope!", was his answer when he followed her in the empty clinic.

He had his arm around her waist and led her to an exam room.

"You always tell me I should work less and now you bring me in my hospital during my vacation."

"As a patient, not an administrator. And I only told you so, to get rid of you. If you're not in the hospital, I'm not forced to do clinic duty."


She opened the door and was surprised. Sure, House only wanted to find out his kid's sex but he also had taken care for their dinner. Someone had put a box in the room. Cuddy opened it and found a huge pizza carton, some hamburgers and a bottle of grape juice.

"I would have preferred some nice wine but with 4 months to go, we won't see any alcohol, right?", House told her.

"You don't have to stop drinking!", she said.

"You bet I won't. But I can tonight. Can't do an ultrasound when I'm drunk."

"Now let's eat!", she suggested but he shook his head.

"Not yet.", he pointed at the stretcher. "Get up there!"

She sighed but obeyed. It was useless to start a discussion with him. He wouldn't give in anyway.

House started the ultrasound and it was easy for him to find his kids.

"Ok, here we have a boy", he said and pointed at the screen. "And his sister/brother is over there."

Now he focused on the second baby. He got closer and closer to the screen, tilted his head with squinty eyes. Cuddy observed him. Not even an earthquake could get him out of his concentration. Now House scrubbed over the screen to remove some smudge. Cuddy laughed.

"Give it up, Greg. We'll find out soon enough. Plus our pizza is getting cold."

"Stubborn little spawn!", he replied. "It's got your personality already!"

"Yeah, I'm the stubborn one here.", Cuddy smirked.


Suddenly he hit some keys on the keyboard and turned the screen so she could have a better look.

"Here it is. Greg jr. II", House smiled.

Cuddy groaned. "Oh my God. Three boys to handle. I hope your jerkiness isn't located on the y chromosome."

House had put on a proud smile.

"Don't worry! We'll practice for a little girl. I won't miss the funny part of becoming a father again!", he said and gave her a copy of the ultrasound. Then he opened the pizza carton.

"Now make sure, everyone is getting their share!"

He handed her a slice and took a burger for himself.

They had their nice little meal and finally got ready to leave. While Cuddy went to the restrooms, House slipped the janitor 50 dollars.

"Next time get rid of the pickles!", he said.


They returned to his apartment and were looking forward to his bed. Unfortunately it was occupied. Luke was snoring in the middle of the blankets.

House threw his sleeping pet an annoyed look.

"Oh no! Not again. This time you won't interfere!"

He handed his cane over to Cuddy, took Luke in his arms and limped into the living room to place him gently on his couch.

"I don't want to hear a single noise!", he said and returned to Cuddy, but she wasn't there. House limped into the bathroom.


"I could get used to take a bath with you.", she whispered and turned on the water.

"Well as long as you fit into the tub!", House mumbled and got undressed. He received another punch for that comment and joined her.

She stroked over his face before kissing him.

"What do have I to do to make you shave?", she asked him.

"A razor would come in handy!"

He looked surprised. "I thought women love this sexy stubble."

"No, you don't. You're just lazy!"

"Maybe, so better save the money for that razor, I won't use it anyway."

"Not even if I ask you to?"

He smirked. "What is it with women? First they fall in love with men and as soon as they got us, they start to change us. I don't ask you to lose 5 pounds of your buttocks!"

"I'll lose them voluntarily after the birth.", she replied.

"Well, 5 pounds won't do then!"

"House!", she yelled, "stop this!"


"Come on, Lisa! Admit it, you like my stubble and you love my jerkiness. You wouldn't rest here with me otherwise because those are two things you've known on me all the time."

"Ok, ok. Keep the stubble. I didn't know it would start a discussion like this. Sooner or later I'll make you shave anyway if I want!"

"You can't always get what you want!", he snapped back at her.


Foreman was a little late the next morning. It was no problem since his boss was even later. The neurologist entered the department and joined his colleagues.

"Where is House?", Taub asked him and handed him a new file.

"It's only half past nine. He's probably still asleep."

"I thought he is with Cuddy now. She's never late! I'll go and ask Wilson."

Taub left while Foreman poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Congratulations for that last case, Foreman.", Thirteen said now.

He turned around and looked at her questioningly.

"I mean, you weren't even here and still you knew what to do. Are you sure, House didn't help you?", Kuttner joined the conversation now.

"Well, it's a good thing you had your cell phone with you. We tried to reach House but his cell was off all the time. You're a genius. Even House hasn't solved a case by text message yet."

Foreman sat down. "He did it via phone once when he was stuck at an airport."

"Guess that's the difference between being his employee for 6 months or 4 years.", Kuttner said and Thirteen nodded.

Foreman looked thoughtfully. So this was his present. This son of a bitch solved a case while they were in the cabin and rebuilt Foreman's respect in the team at the same time. He didn't even miss his phone although House had taken it from him. Foreman smiled. He really hated House and he really liked him.


When House and Cuddy walked into the hospital the next morning vacation was over. It was time to go back to work. They stood in front of the elevators and House kissed her goodbye. They didn't care for the watching nurses. By the end of the day everybody would know but it didn't bother them.

"Don't get used to this, Greg! We won't be late from now on."

"I'm not late. It's my usual time to show up here."

"See you for lunch! And bring your own wallet this time. I don't want Wilson paying for us.", Cuddy said and let go of his hand. House pushed the button for the elevator.

"Hey Greg.", he could hear her voice and turned around. "What did you give Wilson for Christmas?"

He shook his head. "I won't tell you!"

The elevator closed and she walked over to her office.


Wilson was sitting in his office. He had that little piece of paper in his wallet but now he was looking at it and chuckled. House had taken one of the cards from the monopoly game that gives you a free release from jail. But House had scratched those lines and written down this instead:

"You may feed your addiction for taking care and neediness three times this year. Whatever annoying advice you will come up with I'll listen to it and maybe even consider it an option.

Bring pretzels and beer for every lecture! Merry Christmas, House!

PS: Card is not valid for any relationship related trouble. I won't take advice from a three time divorced guy!"


Wilson grinned. He was happy for House and Cuddy and he knew it was the right decision to let him back into his life, because after all House was a good friend.

At this moment the door opened. Without looking up, Wilson knew it was House from the lack of knocking.

"Good morning, Jimmy!", he said and sat down on the leather couch.

"House, vacation is over. I have to work."

"Sure you do. But what about me? I'm bored."

"Maybe because you ran into the wrong office. The one without the interesting case file Taub was carrying around half an hour ago when he was looking for you."

"Well, he should have looked in Cuddy's arms!"

"I'm really happy for you, but still, I have to work now, House! I see you for lunch!"

House got up. "Somebody has to take another look at my hand!"

Wilson waved off. "Again, you came in the wrong office for that. Go to the clinic or have it done by Foreman."

"Thank you, buddy. Just make sure you bring your wallet for lunch!"

He walked towards the door and grabbed the bigger part of Wilson's sandwich.

"See you later!", he said and vanished.

Wilson took the remaining of his breakfast and leaned back.

"Yeah!", he thought, "House is a good friend after all!"