Jack played with Bekah's fingers as he listened to Bunny and North argue. He had stopped really listening a while ago, as his mind had drifted off to other topics. Mainly, to the hand he was still holding.
Jack finally realized that he liked holding her hand. It was warm, which was something Jack never was. He had always though that warmth was overrated. It meant suffering through summer and bundling up through winter (two things Jack never had to deal with).
But holding Bekah's hand was an entirely new type of warm. And Jack thought that he might like it enough to get used to it. Though he doubted he would be able to. If Bekah hadn't been half asleep, she wouldn't have allowed the hand holding any longer than necessary, and he knew that. She didn't appreciate human contact like others did. She preferred to keep to herself, doodling in the worn out sketchbook she kept with her and watching other people. She was an observer.
Which Jack loved. Because observing an observer was an enlightening experience. When he spent time with Bekah, she let him into her life. She showed him how she saw the world, which was in an artistic and curious way. Seeing the world the way Bekah did was like entering an entirely different place. It wasn't always sunny in her world, she'd had times when her world darkened, but to Jack it was always beautiful.
Jack's head snapped up as North cleared his throat. "Jack?"
"What?" Obviously Jack had missed something. Bunny groaned and turned away, while North looked at him, not even bothering to act surprised. Jack never listened to others, not for long anyway. Jack offered a not-so-apologetic smile, and asked them to catch him up.
"We realize that Bekah must return to her home. Her aunt would worry if she were to stay here, and we cannot keep her here anyway. Too close to Christmas." North trailed off, muttering to himself of how much he still needed to do.
Bunny jumped in, and said, "So we take her home. But we can't leave the girl alone. We're trying to decide who needs to stay with her."
"Wouldn't it make sense for me to?" Jack asked. He knew that Bunny had a narrow point of view on everything, but he had thought it was obvious who should stay with Bekah. "I'm there almost all the time anyway."
"Yes, we understand that." North had stopped muttering to himself so that he could explain. "But it is winter, and your snow brings joy and fun to many children. We need you to keep their faith in us high. Even though Christmas is coming, little things like a white Christmas is big deal."
"Guys," Jack said, an incredulous look on his face. "She's been through a traumatic experience. Several, actually. You can't ask me to leave her right now. I'm all she's got!"
Jack knew that wasn't technically true. She had her aunt, and that friend from school. He couldn't remember his name, but she hung out with him enough that Jack knew he was there. But it had always been Jack and Bekah during the winter. Summer might keep them apart, but Jack always knew that he could look forward to the time he spent with her.
And now they were telling him he couldn't stay with her at all?
"Jack. You've gotta understand, mate. There's more children to protect than just this girl. And we all have to do our part."
"Which is why," North said, his Russian accent becoming more noticeable as he slowly became impatient. "We will all help how we can. I was thinking that Tooth or Bunny could help during the day."
"But-."
"And you could provide help during evening, since Tooth can't help then."
Jack opened his mouth to disagree, and then closed it. The more he thought of it, the more this made sense. Because he always spent the night near Bekah's town, so that he could see her before she went to sleep and once she woke up in the morning. Essentially, this plan wouldn't change anything for him, though it might change Bekah's routine. And that was enough to help him decide what to say.
"She should have a say in this."
North turned towards Bunny and the other Guardians, raising his eyebrow. "I think – in a way – you're right. She should be able to decide. But she also must be protected."
"I know. But if she wants me there, then I'll be there, and there isn't anything you can say to change my mind." He saw Bunny glare at him and open his mouth, but Jack beat him to speaking. "It isn't fair for you to tell me I have to leave my best friend just to help kids be a little happier. Christmas is near, they'll be happy enough without the added snow. And I can make up for it with snow days later."
Jack turned towards Tooth, knowing she would be the most understanding of the group. "I'm sure she'll be grateful for your help. But I want to leave this up to her. Please, I'm not asking this for me. I don't want her to have to learn how to handle you on top of everything else. And I meant that in the least offensive way possible."
Somewhere during Jack's speech, Tooth had begun nodding. "He's right. Let's give the girl a choice. But for now, we need to get her home. North?"
North shook his head. "Usually, I would offer my sleigh. But we are too close to Christmas to be flying it through the sky. It will confuse the believers."
"I'll help him." Bunny stepped forward. "I'd hate for Jack's little friend to fly out of the sky and die. Besides, mates, I'm the only one here, other than North, who's strong enough to carry her."
Jack laughed as he saw Sandy huff in annoyance. But they all knew that Bunny really was the only one other than North with the muscles for carrying any weight. So, with a friendly goodbye and a plan to meet the next night, Jack and Bunny left with Bekah.
Once Bunny and Jack were a good distant down his rabbit hole, Bunny broke the silence. "So, what's her name again?"
"It's Bekah."
"And she's your – what? Girlfriend?"
"What? No, it isn't like that!" Jack looked shocked, as though it had never occurred to him that someone might think Bekah and him were something.
"Then what is it like, mate? Because you two seemed awfully cozy over by the window." If Bunny wasn't being completely serious, then he probably would have laughed at the expression on Jack's face. "Don't look so surprised, we were all thinking it."
"Thinking that- me and Bekah? Together?" Bunny had never heard Jack sound so bewildered. And this wasn't the sarcastic answer he had expected.
"Are you telling me, truthfully, that you have never thought of Bekah like that?"
"Frost, no! She was like a little sister to me for a while, but I've always considered her my best friend. I don't think of her, romantically, or anything like that…" Jack was turning bright red, something that Bunny had never seen before. He hadn't even known if he could blush, seeing as that pointed towards warmth, and Jack Frost wasn't warm.
Jack saw the look Bunny was giving him, and hurried to explain. "We aren't like that. I mean, we consider each other best friends. More than that, maybe. I don't know about her, but I'm constantly thinking of her, or what I would say to her if she were with me, or what she would do if she were in the same situation as I was. She was my first believer. She's the most important person to me."
Bunny barked out a laugh. "I thought you were trying to convince me you weren't in love with her."
"I'm not! I just don't know how to explain our friendship, to explain 'Jack and Bekah', to someone who doesn't know us." Jack realized that no matter how he explained it, Bunny would interpret it the way he wanted to. So he gave up and tried to change the topic. "How much longer till we get there? I hate being underground. It's like I'm an ant."
"You did not just compare my tunnels to the tunnels of an ant." Bunny saw what Jack was doing, changing the subject, but he let him anyway.
"No, I guess that isn't right. Kangaroos don't live in tunnels, do they?"
Bunny almost regretted letting him change the subject.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
I felt myself being lowered, and jerked awake, afraid that I was falling.
"Shh, go back to sleep Bekah, it's late." Jack's voice whispered, as someone, I assumed him, covered me with the quilt from my bed.
Somehow through my sleep deprived mind, I remembered that I had something important to say. I moved to get up, and accidentally rolled off the bed. Or I would have, if Jack hadn't caught me and gently pushed me back into my bed. "Seriously, Bekah, just go back to sleep."
"I don't want to," I slurred, trying to sit up again.
"Why are you so stubborn?" I could tell he was trying to sound stern, but I could hear the laugh he was trying to contain.
"We need to talk." About what, I couldn't remember quite yet. I just had the feeling that I needed to say something. Maybe a cup of coffee would wake me up.
I must have said that last thought aloud, because Jack laughed and said, "Too late for coffee, Bekah. It's 3 A.M. and you need to sleep. Whatever we need to talk about can wait until tomorrow."
"But it's important. I think."
"In the morning Bekah. You can feed me pancakes, and we can talk, alright?"
"Fine," I said, rolling onto my side and pulling my quilt up to my chin. I was too tired to argue at this point, and fell asleep almost instantly.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
I didn't wake up until almost noon. And even once I opened my eyes, I just laid on my bed, appreciating how nice it was to wake up naturally, instead of with an alarm clock. I was surprised Jack had been able to contain his excitement. Usually on breaks, I was up as soon as there was enough light to see. And usually I would have ten minutes to wake up and eat breakfast before Jack drug me off to the great outdoors.
I sat up and stretched, surprised to find that I was back in my own room. So Jack and the Guardians had got me home. I stood up and walked across to my dresser, and pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of thick socks. I had learned that winters here were much worse than Texas. It was always cold, even in the house with the heater on.
That was partially due to the fact that my aunt's heater was pretty weak. We tried to spend most of the time in the kitchen, because that was the only room that's heater would blow full blast, so it was the warmest. But because it was so late in the morning (practically afternoon), my aunt had already left for one of her various jobs, meaning for the moment I was alone.
Which is why I almost had a heart attack when I spotted someone sitting on one of the bar stools. Of course, it was only Jack, but I wasn't used to him being here during the day.
"Good, you're awake!" Jack hopped off the bar stool and shoved his hands into his hoody pocket.
"I slept late enough, didn't I?" I smiled. "Want something to eat?"
I already knew what he would want, but wasn't sure if he was hungry enough for them. Plus, it was kind of late for breakfast food.
"Yes! Pancakes for lunch!" Jack threw his hands in the air, making a "V" for victory above his head. I laughed and shook my head, but moved towards the pantry. Luckily, I had insisted that we have a few things from the grocery store, so there was pancake mix and syrup on the top shelf. When you're Jack Frost's best friend, you learn that the most important food is pancakes. It wasn't a kitchen, he had always said, if there wasn't pancake batter.
As I mixed the batter, Jack spoke up. "So you wanted to talk?"
I bit my lip and stayed quiet, pouring some of the batter onto the pan.
"Or," Jack spoke up. "Maybe I could start."
"Good idea." I said, relieved to be given a few minutes to collect my thoughts. I knew what I wanted to talk to Jack about, but I had no idea how to start that conversation. It shouldn't be hard. This was Jack, we could talk about anything.
"Okay. First off. The guardians have decided that you need your own protection detail." Jack rolled his eyes at this. "Basically, they don't think I'm 'capable' or 'responsible' enough to take care of you myself. I personally think I'm awesome, but they don't entirely agree."
"They wouldn't," I agree. "But if it makes you feel better, I think you're pretty awesome myself."
"Thanks," Jack grinned. "It's go to know I have you here to feed my ego."
"And to plain out feed you. Here." I slid a plate in front of him, and carried the pan over to drop the pancake on his plate. "Syrup's right next to you."
"What would I do without you?" Jack asked, pouring the syrup and digging in. I let him eat, knowing he would speak once he was able. In the meantime, I helped myself to my own pancake, and cooked the rest of the batter.
"So," Jack said, as he finished off his fifth pancake. I was standing at the sink, scrubbing out the pan, but I set it down to face him as he spoke. "About the whole 'protection' thing. I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but they thought that since I wasn't the best candidate, that Bunny and Tooth might be."
"Bunny volunteered to help?" I asked. "Isn't he supposed to be some grump who's out to get you?"
"Well," Jack said, holding out the word as long as he could. "I might have been exaggerating how grumpy – no, that can't be right. The kangaroo is nothing but grumpy. But he's got a heart. You know, buried beneath his bad attitude and such."
"Very convincing. And you want to hand me over to this guy?"
Jack laughed and said, "No, honest. He's nice to anyone who isn't me. But if you aren't comfortable hanging with them, I told them I would do whatever you wanted."
"Even stay?" He nodded. "But they don't want you to do that?"
"They say that I have a responsibility to take care of other children. But we both know I don't respond to the word 'responsibility' well." Jack saw the smile that was slowly creeping onto my face, and a hopeful look filled his eyes. "You want me to stay?"
I did. More than anything. But the mention of other children reminded me that now that he was a Guardian, he had a job. And it needed to be done. It would be too selfish of me. I didn't want to be the clingy best friend who wouldn't let Jack do what he was made to do.
"Jack, you have to do what you have to do. I won't be the reason why kids don't have a white Christmas." I turned back towards the sink, thinking that settled it.
"Bekah," Jack was now standing beside, and he reached out to touch my arm. "I don't want you to decide this as though it's a life or death decision. People can live without snow. If you need me, you just have to tell me."
I set down the pan in the sink, and turned towards him. "Jack, you matter to people. You have a purpose now that you're a Guardian. And a job, and believers, and, let's face it, a responsibility. I'm going to be fine."
"Are you sure about that?"
"What's that supposed to mean? Of course I'll be okay. I've always been okay."
"Bekah, I know you're strong. But you've had a rough, stressful few weeks. And you bottle all your feelings up inside of you until you explode. There's only so much a person can take!" I sighed and looked away. "Don't turn away from me, Bekah. I'm worried about you. You're more upset than you let on. I know you. And this isn't how you act."
"Jack, please, drop it." I have overestimated my control. I wasn't ready to talk about this. Not with him. He could see right through me, and I hated how vulnerable it left me.
"No. I'm sorry, but dropping it isn't in your best interest. You need to talk about this. I gave you time, thinking you might talk with your aunt, or your friend from school, but you obviously haven't! And," Jack paused here, as though he wasn't sure how to phrase what he was saying. "I know, that – um, I'm not the best, well. I'm not the best person to talk to about, you know, feelings? And stuff."
He cleared his throat. "But, I'm your best friend. And that has to count for something."
I stayed quiet for a minute, trying to make sure I could speak without my voice breaking. It was hard to swallow past the giant lump in my throat, but finally I was able to whisper, "It counts for everything Jack. You're the only one I want to talk about anything to. But- I'm a mess! I haven't been able to control my emotions for weeks, I can hardly sleep. My mom is alone in Texas, with no one with her. I've been dragged off to Colorado."
I took a shaky breath. "It's just- I try to be happy, because I know my aunt worries. But that means I have to be so, so careful. Everyone around me is just waiting for me to snap. And how on earth am I supposed to act normal? My life is anything but normal!"
I had given up holding back the tears of frustration a while ago. And the more I cried, the angrier I got at myself. I was supposed to stay calm, not start bawling. I turned away, covering up my face as I did.
"Hey, stop." Jack reached out and pulled me into a hug, not giving me the option to escape. "Take a deep breath."
I refused to stop now, even though I was crying so hard that my words were hardly English. "My mom could never wake up Jack! And I'm coping the only way I know how! I know everyone wants me to talk to them about this, but how can I talk about feelings that I don't even understand?"
"This is the first time you've been completely honest with yourself in weeks. You don't have to talk to everyone, but you can't just hold it in. That does a lot more harm than good."
"Who would know," I sniffed out. "Jack Frost is some sort of therapist."
Jack laughed. "I just don't have one of those fancy chairs or stupid coffee spots."
"Ink blot tests," I gave him a watery smile. "Not coffee spots."
"Same difference," He replied, waving his hand as though nothing mattered. We trailed off into a silence.
I groaned, leaning my head on his shoulder. "I'm a mess."
"Nah," he said, resting his head on mine. "No more than the rest of us."
We stood there for another moment longer. And then I stepped back, and grabbed his hand. He kept me calm, and I needed to hold on to something right then. "Hey, now that I've semi-spilled my guts and acted the part of the hormonal teenager, can we do something?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Just something that has nothing to do with Nightmares, or sick moms, or anything like this. Something fun."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Jack, how do you always know what to do?"
"One, I'm the spirit of fun. Duh. Two, I've been your best friend for, what? Six years now? I know you."
As soon as I had told Jack I wanted to do something, he had dug into one of my aunt's attics (she had two separate ones. A walk in one and one you accessed from the ceiling) and pulled out a Christmas bin. He had made me swear that if anyone asked, this was my idea. Then he had picked out the Christmas DVD's my aunt kept in one of the bins. Since we had already eaten, we opted for a soda, and had dropped onto the couch.
"And, three. Who wouldn't want to watch these after they knew what North was really like?" I had to agree with him on that. We were watching the movie Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and every time Kris Kringle walked onto the screen, we died laughing. We had already finished both Rudolph Claymation movies (I hadn't even known there were two) and Elf.
Eventually, Jack and I had stopped paying attention to what was happening in the story, and just making comments of how North would react. To everything. In every movie. And then that led to him answering question after question.
"So. Rudolph isn't real?"
"No. If North saw a reindeer with a flashing nose, he would just go back to bed. Hope it was a hallucination, you know? But he does have these little red lights that he leaves on the back of his sled. Kind of a joke."
"And the elves don't make toys. Yeti do."
"Yeah, pretty much."
"And about Bunny. He's Australian?"
Jack nodded and grinned. "I used to call him the Kangaroo. Still do, sometimes, because it annoys him so much. A bit of advice, don't do that. You're gonna be stuck with him for a while."
"When does that start?" There were still a lot of unanswered questions about this "protection" thing. But I was kind of excited. How could I not be? It was the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny we were talking about!
"Ready to get rid of me already?" Jack put his hand on his chest and made a hurt expression. "I'm hurt."
"Oh, you know I never want you to leave." I laughed and took a big swallow of coke. "But, you aren't leaving for good. You aren't, right?"
"Nah. I'll see you in the evenings. I've only got to work during the day here. I'll fly around the U.S. while you hang here with your new buddies and aunt."
"Do y'all really think I'm in danger? I mean, I get that I had a really bad nightmare. But couldn't it just be my subconscious? I've been having nightmares all year, Jack. What makes this different?"
"There's always a small chance. But it's really slim, so humor us, okay? More the other guys than me. They like to feel like people need them."
"I guess in a lot of ways people do."
"Well, duh." Jack laughed. "If kids didn't need us, we wouldn't even be here."
I smiled and turned back to the movie. For the moment, I was extremely happy about where I was. I just hoped I could handle Tooth and Bunny. Having Guardians in my house on Guardian business was going to be strange.
Hopefully it would be over soon, and Jack and I could go back to how winter was supposed to be. Just us and snow days.
A/N: And hey! I posted it on Sunday like I'm supposed to!
Thank you for reading!
