Chapter 12

Sully sat on the edge of the creek near his lean-to at the building site. Staring at the slowly moving water, he absent-mindedly held a stick in his hand and tapped the palm of his other hand with it. He could tell that Michaela was withdrawing from him and he just had to find a way to stop her from doing so. How could he have made her leave alone last night? Sure, it hadn't been dark yet... Someone had been following her… If he had known that there had been nothing wrong with Catherine… Well, there was no use brooding on that; this was the past. Rather he should think about what to do next. Yet he couldn't come to any decision because he felt caught in a quandary. On the one hand he didn't want to put his relationship with Michaela, better said their engagement and with that his entire future life, in danger and for that, it would be best to leave this place. On the other hand, he didn't know if he would ever get an opportunity to earn so much at once again. He needed the money to build a new house… And there was something else; to be honest, he still felt responsible for Catherine. Yes, she was better now, but she was far away from being well… She had lived through terrible loss twice already, just like he had; and he had needed almost two years to get over it when it had happened the second time. It had been Michaela who had finally brought him back to life. Now he couldn't imagine living without her…

The last thought startled him and made him sit up straighter because it suddenly occurred to him that he might have the same effect on Catherine. He knew how he was feeling by only imagining that Michaela could leave him; was Catherine as terrified of losing him? What had he done? Even more important: what was he to do from now on? He needed time to think and normally, he would just go off into the woods. However, he couldn't do that right now since his daughter was with him…

Hannah was squatting a few yards away from her pa and drew lines in the mud with a stick. This wasn't the morning she had in her mind when she had begged her pa to take her fishing. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. When her ma had left after handing her pa some clothes for her so she could play and even get dirty, she had sensed the tension between her parents. An uneasy feeling was settling down in the pit of her stomach. Was this possibly all her fault? She shouldn't have asked for anything, her pa hadn't wanted to go out here with her… although; this had been kind of planned. However, there was something even worse. She hadn't considered what it meant for her ma when she had made her request for sleeping in the princess' bed. Her ma had been alone all night… The little girl was sure though that her ma hadn't minded her staying in the big house; she would have sensed it… All this was so puzzling… Sighing heavily, she crumbled in on herself, hugging her knees to her chest and staring at the water just like her pa.

Catherine approached the two figures noiselessly. After Sully and his daughter had left the house, she had sat in her room and taken stock. She wasn't a bad person who wanted to cause any trouble; it was only that she couldn't lose Sully. When she had been reviewing the previous weeks, she had grown positive that Sully really liked her. He hadn't only let her cook for him; he had enjoyed it. She was sure that he had felt comfortable when they had sat at the creek in the evenings, sometimes without speaking a word for a few hours. This was the way she had learned to be with a man: just being there for him in whatever way it was needed. Since she knew he didn't want a physical relationship, she had never tried anything. She had held back so he felt comfortable enough to make the first steps. He had taken her in his arms after she had told him about her village without her asking him to do so and he had reached for her hand by himself the day before. He liked her that was for sure and Sully had been fine until the doctor showed up yesterday. For Catherine that meant that the other woman wasn't good for him and she had to make him see that. The young woman knew though that being careful was of necessity; one wrong word or action and everything would be lost for good. She had almost ruined it last night.

Sully only heard her steps when she had nearly reached his side. For a moment he thought it would be Michaela, but the hope in his eyes was dashed as he turned and saw Catherine standing behind him. Throwing the stick into the water, he rose to his feet and pivoted to face her, wondering what had brought her out here because they had agreed in the morning that she would stay in town.

Catherine eyed him carefully and began slowly, "I came to apologize."

Sully glanced sideward at Hannah and seeing that she had straightened as well and was listening, too, he replied in a low, strained tone, "Not now, Catherine."

"You daughter can hear what I have to say."

The young woman's voice was still drawling and Sully grew concerned, "You alright?"

Nodding, Catherine continued, "I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have been so selfish. That's not what I've been taught. You have your own family to think of and I forgot that. I'm sorry."

Sully thought he could hear honesty in these words and relaxed somewhat. "That's alright. You'd just had a fit and couldn't think clearly. And me neither, I shouldn't have become so angry. But you have to understand that Michaela and Hannah are my priority…"

"I do understand," her voice, more sincere by now, interrupted him. "And I will never forget that, I promise."

"Good." Sully felt a wave of relief flooding over him; it looked as if Catherine really understood that all he offered was friendship. With this finally being clear, he could finish his job. However, he had learned that words weren't enough and so he set her straight, "For starters, we'll make some changes. We shouldn't be together as often anymore, ya need to get to know other people, too. Isn't there a woman of your age around? Your father knows a lot of people, he should be able to recommend someone."

Nodding in seeming agreement, Catherine replied, "I'll ask him."

Sully felt as if he actually could get everything back to normal again. Things were settled with Catherine and he would be careful that it stayed this way. Now he had to only think about how to convince Michaela that there was nothing for her to fear, that he was sorry for putting her into danger and that he would make it up to her.

It was almost noon but still time left until they would meet, and so he pivoted to resume his place on the ground. He stopped moving though as his gaze fell on his daughter. "What's wrong, sweet girl?"

Crouching down before her, he soothingly rubbed her back because he saw the uneasiness in her eyes. Tenderly, he tried to urge a word out of her, "Tell me!"

Maybe she was worrying that Catherine might another fit and so he assured his daughter in a gentle voice, "Nothing will happen, we'll still sit a little while and then go back to town and meet your ma, alright?"

Although Hannah wasn't convinced at all, she hesitantly nodded and then threw her arms around her pa's neck. She suddenly wished she could go back home, sit on the porch steps and watch her ma doing laundry or she could play ball with wolf or… She had watched Miss Catherine keenly while she was talking and she thought she had recognized the way she looked at her pa, if only for a short moment. She hadn't detected anything in his eyes though…

Finally releasing her grip, she sat down on the ground, close to her pa. She didn't like that he agreed to take Miss Catherine's carriage to travel to town later. Of course it would be more comfortable than on horseback but it meant that Miss Catherine was invited to sit with them until they had to go…

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Once they arrived at the hotel, Michaela had second thoughts about getting out of the carriage immediately. She hadn't changed her mind about helping the two young people sitting across from her, but she had become aware of the fact that she had kind of steamrollered the older sister. As soon as the vehicle stood still, she shortly laid her hand on the young woman's knee, preventing her from getting up, "Please, one moment…"

Seeing a mixture of disappointment and resignation creeping on the tired faces, Michaela hastily assured, "Don't worry, I'll help you in any way I can but I fear I've been a little carried away and just overwhelmed you with my suggestions. I didn't even ask what it is that you want to do this afternoon…"

Seeing hope re-claiming the couple of brown eyes before her, she suggested, "Maybe we just start over again. As you know I'm Dr. Quinn, but my friends call me Dr. Mike. And you are…?"

Rose blushed in embarrassment; they hadn't even told her their names. However, sensing that the doctor wasn't thinking her rude, she hastily answered the question, "I'm Rose Winter and this is my brother Robert."

Michaela nodded. "May I ask how old you are?"

For a short moment, Rose contemplated adding to her true age but somehow she felt she could be honest. "Bobbie is almost six and I'm eighteen and a half."

She anxiously waited for the next unavoidable question about their parents; however, the doctor surprised her.

Michaela had come to the conclusion that these children weren't on the run but tried to find a way to survive. Judging their state of malnourishment and their clothes she was pretty sure that they didn't have a true home but she had to be sure. "Where do you live?"

Hearing this question, Robert grew alarmed. Since his sister never left him alone, he was always there when she looked for work. Normally just the sight of him was enough for people to turn Rosie down. If not, then it was as soon as they learned that they came out of the woods. Rosie had found them a shack but they didn't have an address, which was obviously more important than them being protected from bad weather. Would this nice woman chase them away, too?

Rose knew what her brother was thinking but for the first time in years she knew she could trust someone. "We have our things in a wooden shed near town."

Michaela nodded. "I see."

Sensing Rose's hope and Robert's fear, she suggested, "How about we go and get your things and then come back to the hotel? I think it will be nicer for you to spend your time here in town until our departure tomorrow."

Gaining a wide smile from the siblings, she was pleased, "Fine, let's tell the driver where to go."

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Michaela had instantly recognized that they would pass the Baker's building site when they were on their way out of town. It hadn't taken them long to get to the shack and pick up the few things of the siblings; they had only some outworn clothes and each of them owned a few personal belongings wrapped up in an old cloth they wanted to keep with them. It was on their way back into town that Michaela decided to try and see if Sully and Hannah would be there. But first she had to ask the children for their understanding; Michaela was sure that they were hungry. "I'm sorry to make you wait longer for a meal but it is possible that my fiancé and my daughter are here. Would you mind…?"

"Of course not!" Rose was almost startled that the doctor asked for her permission. "We'll just stay here."

Michaela had noticed the cracked lips of the boy though and had a better idea. "Actually, I'd like you to come with me. There is a creek right behind the building where you can get some fresh water."

Bobby nodded eagerly; he had to admit that he was quite thirsty and on top of that he was afraid this nice woman would just vanish if he ever let her out of his sight again.

It was only when all the three of them stood on the sandy ground that Michaela noticed the other carriage. She knew that if she had been alone at this moment, she would turn around and leave that place immediately. Sully had told her, before she left in the morning, that he would take Hannah on his horse out in the woods; the carriage being here could only mean that Miss Baker was there as well.

Seeing the questioning looks of her protégés, Michaela pulled herself together, what ever she would see, she wasn't able to change it anyway.

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Sully couldn't exactly tell how long they had sat together but he thought it was about time to leave this place and meet Michaela. Looking at his right side, he noticed that Hannah had lay down and fallen asleep. Turning his head in the other direction, he instantly grew concerned seeing Catherine with a tear-stained face staring ahead. Quickly glancing back at his daughter he made sure that she had still her eyes closed and then slid closer to Catherine.

"Hey," his voice was low to not startle her, "You feeling sick again?"

The shaking of her head was almost imperceptible.

Following her gaze over the creek towards the woods his second guess was the right one, "Memories?"

Her nod was visibly now and Sully sensed that she would lose her composure any moment. His compassion for someone in need took over and he closed the distance between them. Laying his arm around her shoulder he murmured reassuring words and promises that it would get easier with time and gently rocked her forth and back. Occupied in this way he didn't pay attention to his surroundings and was startled by Hannah's sudden cry, "Ma!"

The little girl couldn't get up quickly enough from the ground and run to her ma. She was too confused by seeing her pa with Miss Catherine the way they sat so close together for her to immediately notice that her ma wasn't alone. All she wanted at this moment was to feel secure in the arms of the only person in the world that had never confused or disappointed her. Still drowsy from her nap she stumbled though and fell.

Seeing that, Michaela forgot that her heart was racing and her hands had grown icy by the sight of Miss Baker in Sully's embrace. Rushing to her daughter, she picked her up and straightened with her in her arms.

Stroking the long blond locks, she swayed with her and tried to soothe her this way. Hannah didn't cry though but clung onto her ma's neck and buried her face in her hair. In an attempt to distract Hannah, Michaela whispered in her ear, "Sweetheart, look! I've brought some new friends. How about I introduce you?"

Michaela gestured for Rose and Robert to come closer. The siblings had stayed behind a little, unsure of what to think of the situation. Yet seeing the little girl in the doctor's arms lifting her head and curiously looking at them, their tension subsided. The young woman pulled the boy with her and when they were at Dr. Quinn's side, she reached out her hand to Hannah saying, "I'm Rose," and pointing with her eyes at her brother she added, "And this is my brother Robert."

Hannah shyly put her index finger in her mouth and looked back at her ma. Seeing her smile and raise her eyebrows suggesting, she at last turned to Rose and took the outstretched hand.

"Hannah," was all she said though and Michaela added smiling broadly, "This is my daughter."

Robert had already closed the doctor in his heart and was eager to know everything about her. The little girl in her arms looked nice enough and so he wanted to get to know the man she had announced as well. Looking around, he only saw a couple watching them and whispered to his sister loudly enough for everyone to hear though, "Rosie, where is the fyansay?"

Sully knew how his sitting with Catherine looked to Michaela and he desperately racked his brain about what to do. Michaela acted as if he wasn't even there and so he took the opportunity to chime in, "That's me."

Leaving Catherine behind he stepped to the group, noticing the questioning looks the strangers shot at Michaela. Since Michaela reacted neither to the gazes nor to his voice, he added, "I'm Sully."

Unsure about how to take that revelation because it had looked as if he belonged to the other woman, Rose just replied, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Sully."

Sensing that her brother would say something embarrassing any moment, she squeezed his hand and looked down at him with a warning in her eyes.

Michaela had never thought that she could feel so humiliated again, but she did. Thankfully her early life had built up reflexes for such occasions thus she was able to keep any emotion out of her voice, out of her face, out of her life as she suggested, giving the siblings an encouraging smile, "Rose and Robert, how about you go and drink some water? And then we'll go straight back to town and get you something to eat, all right?"

Rose was relieved that she could leave that awkward situation at least for a few minutes. "Sure, Dr. Mike."

While the young woman pulled her brother towards the creek, Hannah immediately begged, "I go with you, Ma, pease?"

Michaela didn't even attempt to think about why her daughter wanted to leave Sully's side so urgently. She willed herself to dismiss the heavy thuds of her heart, the tightening of her chest and the growing lump in her throat. She was sure that Sully had explanations; however, she didn't want to hear them, at least not now.

Only as her daughter reiterated, "Pease, Ma!" she finally responded, "That's up to your father, sweetheart."

Relieved that he finally was kind of involved, Sully instantly stepped closer and rubbing his daughter's back to calm her down he assured, "We'll all go together, sweet girl..."

But Hannah, glancing about his shoulder and then looking back at him, propped her thumb in her mouth and shook her head vehemently. She didn't want to have Miss Catherine with them.

Silently cursing because he had made it sound as if he wanted Catherine to be included, Sully hastily amended, "I mean just you, your ma and her new friends and me. You know that we wanted to go and see your ma anyway, sweet girl. Remember?"

Gaining at least a hesitant nod in response, Sully directed his gaze at Michaela's face. His palms grew sweaty and a single muscle on his temple began to twitch nervously as he recognized the emptiness in her eyes. He had to make her see that he had only comforted Catherine and nothing else. She had to understand that, she was a doctor and comforted other men in her practice every day! Somehow he had to get through to her, he just had to! The only way he could think of right now was to show it here in front of those present that she was the woman he loved. On the spur of the moment, he reached for Hannah, who was too surprised by his sudden move to protest, and put her down. "Just a minute, sweet girl, then ya can go back in your ma's arms."

Wondering what her pa had in mind, the little girl nodded and watched how her pa pulled her ma into his embrace.

Sully felt Michaela try to wriggle out of his arms but he held on tight whispering in her ear, "It's only you I love, Michaela. It's only you I wanna live with. I know how this looked, but it's only you who is on my mind. You gotta believe that."

He pressed a kiss to her temple suddenly remembering that he had used the words before, back then they had parted though. However, he reiterated them nonetheless, "Only you."