The Chaos and the Calm

summary: The life of young superheroes is chaotic, but its in the middle of the chaos, Dick and Conner find each other, find their calm. This is a series of moments between Dick and Conner that bring them together. (major Dick Grayson/Conner Kent slash…a few chapters include sexual content.)

genre: Romance, Hurt-Comfort, Drama, Friendship

rated: M (Adult themes, Sexual content in a few chapters)

author note: Shameless Conner Kent/Dick Grayson slasher. Title and chapter themes inspired by James Bay's album "Chaos and the Calm"


Incomplete

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the cloud

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

And the world will turn and we'll grow

We'll learn how to be incomplete


Bludhaven was quiet this time of day, about the only time of day that it was. It was that hushed lull of day that stretched no more than an hour between the two phases of the city. Left-over stragglers of the nightlife had finally retreated to their homes and the day workers hadn't yet started to appear from theirs. It was just about dawn, the dark sky still hanging heavy but the first appearance of light was beginning to break.

It was Dick's favorite time of day. He was usually just getting home from patrolling the city and heading to bed at this time. He would strip off his uniform, shower and change into sweats, bandage any injuries or put pain relieving gel on any sore muscles. Much like the city, this was his quiet lull between his two phases; the time between 'Nightwing', vigilante, heir to the Dark Knight, charming young hero and 'Dick Grayson', retired acrobat, adopted son of Bruce Wayne, and equally if not more charming than his hero alter ego.

As Dick stood on the fire escape of his apartment with arms leaning over the metal railing, freshly bandaged and showered, dressed only in a pair of loose fitting sweatpants, he clasped his hands together and gazed out across the cityscape. An early morning summer breeze blew through his still-damp dark hair and exposed upper body. With a tired smile on his face, Dick sighed contently, feeling the breeze, feeling the tranquility, feeling a sense of peace.

He wasn't startled when he felt a warm, familiar body slide up behind him, strong arms curled around his waist. Conner pressed a kiss to the side of Dick's neck before pressing closer against him and resting his chin on Dick's shoulder. Dick leaned his head back and sunk into Conner's embrace as they watched the sun slowly rise.

Having Conner share this moment with him, this calm respite between night and day, between identities, in a moment where there was no villainous threat or personal responsibility, meant more to Dick than he thought it would. It may not be one of those profound moments in their relationship that changed them forever. It wasn't their first kiss, which they still debated if it was when Conner gave him CPR and Dick demanded more, or that time Dick was kidnapped and their lips pressed against each other as Conner removed a gag from his mouth and sparks flew, or that fleeting kiss on their rooftop rendezvous. It wasn't the first time they made love or their first time saying the three words that had terrified Dick to say because that meant he had something to loose before he realized that Conner was the thing he couldn't bear to be without. Standing here on the fire escape attached to the apartment Dick and Conner now shared after his lover officially moved in, wrapped in the arms of the man he loved, a blend of brilliant blue and orange rising through the skyscrapers of the city, a sense of peace washed over him that Dick had never known before.

Dick was content to stay like this forever. Conner's warm, strong body pressed up against his as his lover held him close, Dick closed his eyes as he could feel Conner's lungs expand as he breathed, the bare chest pressed against his back, and then Conner was pressing his lips down Dicks neck. Dick pushed away from the railing and turned in Conner's embrace, his lover's arms circling tighter around his waist as he pulled him close, their chests pressed together. Dick moved his arms to loosely wrap around Conner's neck as he leaned up to to kiss Conner deeply, slowly, breathing him in as Conner did the same, suspended in time as he tried to put every ounce of feeling and emotion he could into it and could feel Conner returning it as they kissed passionately.

He'd never been with anyone the way he'd been with the man in front of him. His life had been a series of incomplete's. He never got the time with his parents a child was supposed to. He never would have a normal relationship with his adopted father because of their relationship not only as pseudo father and son but as mentor and protégé that caused friction between them. He never would be completely one person, the dichotomy of Nightwing and Dick Grayson keeping his life in a constant state of separation.

It was the same for Conner. Having been a clone, his DNA being a combination of one of the greatest heroes the world's ever known and his arch nemesis, his only family being one he was thrust into because he didn't really have a history, Conner knew what incomplete's felt like.

But together, as they city sprung alive behind them, Conner unfolded from around Dick and grabbed his hand, leading him back into the apartment, Dick knew that at least they had found something that felt whole, that felt full.