Jason freezes at the edge of the stage, glancing out briefly before pulling away. "I am NOT going out there." It is evident he has forgotten the microphone clipped to his lapel.
"Dude, we have to. You're the one who wanted me up here with you."
Jason glanced back at the stage, shaking his head. "Fine, but I'm doing this quick." Jason sticks his head back out from behind the curtain, glancing nervously. "And now, Nana Possible and the Gray Cardinal!"
"In
some ways, Best Villain is a contradiction in terms," he began,
"especially given that this isn't a HenchCo convention.
Ordinarily, we'd consider the most evil of a given roster of
villains as the worst of the lot. And from the writer's
perspective, many of us might regard a complex, thoughtfully
motivated antagonist as something other than a villain in the classic
tradition." In the audience, Senor Senior, Sr. nodded sagely at the
remark, his fingers tapping thoughtfully on a weathered copy of
the
Handbook of Traditional Villainy.
Nana Possible
smoothly picked up her cue. "So – is the Best Villain the one
with the cleverest scheme? The one whose goals are most ambitious, or
the one who comes closest to achieving them? Or the one who provides
my granddaughter with the greatest challenge?" As she spoke, her
gaze flicked
back and forth, lighting on several of the nominated
writers in turn.
"How about the one who makes off with the trophy?"
All eyes shifted upward, as a red-haired head poked itself through the hole left by a missing ceiling tile. This was followed an instant later by an arm holding a grapple gun, which fired an expertly aimed shot at the Fannie Award statuette standing atop the podium.
"Grimm Probable!" The name echoed through the room, uttered by dozens of audience members – and by Nana, who had the advantages of a microphone and a printed list of nominees, on which the Probable name appeared twice.
Several things promptly happened at once:
"At your service," Grimm said cheerfully...
...four Global Justice agents, Will Du among them, raised their arms, fired their taser-watches, and said "You're under arrest!"...
...Senor Senior, Jr. called, "I will buy the trophy from you for fourteen million American dollars!"...
...a certain raven-haired ninja from the Yamanuchi School produced a shuriken and tossed it unerringly toward the speeding cable...
...the lovely female attendant who'd brought out the Best Villain trophy stepped silently forward toward Nana Possible's back...
...Shego flicked two very small plasma bolts from her fingertips...
...Akinyi and KT each produced compact brushed-metal flashlights from the clutches they were carrying (KT's was purple, Akinyi's a dark crimson) aimed, twisted – and sent tiny twin capsules streaking toward Grimm Probable with a pair of nearly inaudible phuts...
...Zaratan, watching from the wings, groaned and started calculating the likely damage expenses...
...and the Gray Cardinal murmured a few words into his collar stud and made a slight twitching motion with his staff.
The GJ agents, unfortunately, had overestimated the range of their stop-watches and underestimated the number of beverages crowding the banquet tables. All four taser lines fell well short of striking Grimm, and the business ends of three of the four – Will's included – splashed down into various people's water glasses, whereupon the electric current they carried arced backward straight into the watches, dropping their wearers like the proverbial rocks.
The tasers, of course, weren't the only things
sailing over the audience's heads, but the crowded airspace didn't
stay crowded for long. Yori's shuriken and the capsule from
Akinyi's flashlight weapon arced squarely into each other in
mid-flight, whereupon the capsule exploded into a
grapefruit-sized
puff of pale cinnamon-colored gas – and the throwing star
disappeared. KT's gas pellet intersected with one of Shego's
plasma bolts in similar fashion, neutralizing both missiles in a
green-and-gold flash. The second bolt, however, neatly sliced through
Grimm's grapple line, causing
the outermost dozen feet of cable
to drop abruptly downward. Fortunately, its flight path had traveled
mostly between tables; after a few moments' worth of frenzied
dodging, the only three individuals who found themselves tangled in
the fallen cord were Ron Stoppable, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, and
Bonnie
Rockwaller. Meanwhile, Grimm Probable shrugged and clicked
the retractor switch on his grapple-gun, causing the rest of the cord
to retract...
...as Nana Possible executed a sedate but efficient spin and caught her would-be assailant in a solid kung-fu hold. "A nice effort, dear," she told Grimm's partner, Rhonda Fatigable, "but you really must learn not to underestimate your opponents."
"Nana!" her granddaughter called from the audience. "Don't give her lessons!"
"Oh, go right ahead," Rhonda said, a little breathlessly. "Every little bit helps."
Nana flashed Kim an apologetic smile. "Whatever you say, dear. As for you," she added sternly, turning her attention back to Rhonda, "if you'll promise to be good for the rest of the night, we might just let you stay long enough to see if you've won legitimately."
The Gray Cardinal raised an eyebrow at a certain eleven-year-old who was hurriedly thrusting a purple not-a-flashlight-after-all back into her clutch. "That wouldn't have been a Plot Bunny Eliminator, now would it?"
KT gave him a righteously indignant look. "Absolutely not! We checked the PBE-40s at the door, just like the sign said we had to. This is a Plot Bunny CSR-1200 – the CSR stands for Concentrated Spot Remover. They're totally not the same thing!"
"She's telling the truth," the voice in the Cardinal's earpiece reported. "The 40 uses perfectly ordinary disintegrator tech; the liquid propellant contains a molecular dispersal agent. According to the scans, the gas in those pellets is something else entirely. Whatever it hits gets knocked right out of its current dimension – some kind of quantum-shift reaction."
Before the Cardinal could react to this, there was a sharp squeal from Akinyi. "Hey, that's mine!"
"Shiny!" retorted the small, sharp
voice of Team Probable's resident weasel, who was engaged in a
tug-of-war with the young writer over the second
CSR-1200. Rueful
had grabbed one end of the metal cylinder in both forepaws and was
holding on for dear life, reaching desperately with one hind paw to
try and hit a control attached to the harness he was wearing,
presumably to reel himself back up through a second opening in the
room's ceiling.
"Be careful!" Rhonda Fatigable called, wriggling in Nana Possible's grip. "If that thing goes off—"
She was interrupted by a soft phut! Cinnamon-gold gas puffed, Akinyi yelped, Rueful yowled . . . and both girl and weasel vanished, along with the Spot Remover itself.
The entire room went silent for several seconds. Then Grimm Probable glared down at KT from the overhead crawlspace. "Where'd they go?"
"I . . . don't know," the eleven-year-old admitted nervously, as the leader of Team Probable thrust a hand into one of his utility pouches. "The whole point was getting rid of the darned plot bunnies!"
Rhonda had stopped struggling. Instead, she slumped disconsolately in Nana's arms, eyes fixed glazedly on KT. "You – you disintegrated Rueful!"
It was, the Gray Cardinal decided, past time for subtlety. He raised his staff, the sapphire-colored crystal at its tip abruptly glowing brightly, and pointed...
...at Grimm, who suddenly discovered that his hand was stuck inside the pouch he'd reached into...
...at Rhonda, who blinked, contemplated the azure light for a moment, realized how very weary she was, and promptly fell asleep...
...at Jade, Team Probable's computer tech, who'd been sitting inconspicuously at a table at the very back of the room with her laptop, which unexpectedly reported that its battery had completely flatlined (and whose power cord had somehow disappeared from her accessory case)...
...at the three self-tasered Global Justice agents, who shivered, woke up, and began taking stock of themselves with varying degrees of sheepishness...
...and at KT, who gave a startled gasp as her CSR-1200 levitated itself out of her hand and floated to the front of the room, where the Cardinal plucked the device calmly out of the air, eyed it thoughtfully, and passed the business end of the staff over it.
"Order desk," he said, not bothering to subvocalize, "please tell me you can track the quantum signature on that last displacement and retrieve the subjects."
The voice in his ear sighed. "We're working on it, but it's going to take a few minutes to triangulate. It looks like each pellet has an individual resonance charge, and we have to allow for signal decay."
Nana Possible had arranged Rhonda as neatly as she could against one side of the podium, and was now eyeing her escort critically. "Order desk? Surely this isn't the time..."
The Gray Cardinal chuckled. "Not that kind of order."
"I suspected as much." She glanced around the ballroom thoughtfully.
"I gather things are under control for the moment?"
"More or less."
"Good," Nana said. "Well, then, do you expect any further shenanigans from the other nominees?"
The Cardinal frowned, considered the question, and shook his head. "Team Probable is the only nominated villain with motives that fit something like this."
"What about Senor Senior, Jr., from Allaine's Under the Milky Way Tonight?" Nana asked.
"I doubt it. For one thing, it's against protocol; as I understand it, AU versions of canon characters aren't generally allowed to show up at the awards ceremony. And that version of SSJ is – less concerned with appearances." He paused. "We might as well go ahead and run the clip."
Senor Senior, Jr. - Under the Milky Way Tonight – Allaine
"Señor Senior Junior!" one of Gemini's agents barked, leaping to his feet.
"Oh, for goodness - everyone sit down," Junior snapped as he entered the control room. Obviously Gemini had everyone below him wound too tight.
While he was able to control everything that happened in the space station from his quarters, it was only in here that he could see as many as twenty-four different camera feeds at once. Just as importantly, contacting his detachment on the Earth's surface would be much more convenient from here. Since Kim Possible had been so rude as to defy him, he felt he was justified in ordering the execution of her family.
"Are you here to monitor the search for the missing prisoners?" a second agent said.
Junior peered at the symbols on the man's chest. "In due time, er, Agent Bi-Gamma. First I wish to raise the WEE agents watching the hostages at the Space Center. Who is in charge there?"
"That would be Agent Kappa, sir," Agent Bi-Gamma said.
"Very well. I have new orders for him. While you are doing this, one of the others can tell me how the search for the other two women who came with Ms. Possible."
The other three agents looked at each other dubiously.
"For heaven's sake, I'm not going to drop you through the floor if I don't like what I'm hearing," Junior said, exasperated. "I thought we established that!"
"Well, uh, sir," Agent Bi-Mu began hesitantly, "we can't find them. They've found some way of avoiding detection by our security cameras, and the search effort led by Gemini has failed to turn them up as well. Also, some of the cameras have begun going off-line. Guards report they've been damaged."
"I see," Junior said, frowning. "And Ms. Possible?"
"Both she and Shego have been engaged. We haven't succeeded in neutralizing them yet, however." Agent Bi-Mu brought up an image on the largest monitor in the center of the room. Junior saw both Kim and Shego outnumbered six-to-one in close quarters, yet they were clearly winning.
"Well, we appear to have them bottled up for now," Junior grumbled. "Perhaps if we send enough men in there, their unconscious bodies will block the door!"
"Sir?" Agent Bi-Gamma asked. "I'm getting a weird bounce-back signal from the first mini-relay."
Junior's right eye twitched. "You mean the satellite in Earth orbit, right?"
"No, sir," Bi-Gamma said nervously. "I mean the first relay in the chain."
With Junior's money, Gemini had built an ingenious array of floating relays in space. They were capable of bouncing transmissions from the station to a news satellite orbiting the Earth. From there the transmission piggybacked on the data stream the satellite regularly sent down. Both the incoming and outgoing signals had consistently escaped detection by both NASA and the owner of the satellite. As for the relays themselves, only an extremely intensive search of a small and very specific section of space would turn up the tiny devices, and the military had failed to do so.
And now it wasn't working.
"Try again," Junior growled.
"I have, sir. It's hitting some sort of . . . um, Senor? We're receiving a transmission from the relay!"
"Agent Kappa must be trying to hail us," Junior reasoned. "We were blocking each other. Let it through."
" . . . Hello? Helllooooo, stupid clumsy human males? Is this thing on?"
Five men stared at each other. "What was that?" Junior asked disbelievingly.
"I believe it was a woman, sir."
"I know THAT!"
"Actually, I'm an artificial intelligence with a female voice and personality," the transmission purred. "You can call me Sappho. Just for the moment, anyway. I wouldn't want you to think we're friends or anything."
"Sappho?" Junior asked, bewildered.
"A SAFO? Self-Automated Flying Orbiter? Your spies at the Space Center must have mentioned me?"
Junior snapped his fingers. "Ms. Possible's spaceship!"
"Wow, Shego was right," Sappho murmured. "You ARE dimwitted."
"Cut the transmission," Junior said angrily. He waited a moment. "How is this possible?!" he then demanded. "We have men on board that ship, don't we?"
"Actually, sir, they were still trying to gain entry when you gave the command for every available man to locate the escaped prisoners," Bi-Mu said.
"If I'd know they were STILL trying to get on board the stupid thing, I wouldn't have included them! I want them assigned BACK to accessing the ship's systems."
None of the agents spoke at first. "Uh, well, you see," Bi-Gamma finally said, "she's gone, sir. She just . . . flew away by herself."
Junior slapped his hand over his face. "This is just perfect. And she's not a she! She's an it!"
"Don't you mean it's an it?" Agent Tri-Alpha asked.
"Forget it! If the SAFO is blocking our transmissions, then we need to destroy it! Ready the ships and have them - "
"The pilots are busy assisting the search, sir," Bi-Gamma said. "It will take time to get them to the ships."
"Also, if we destroy the ship, it could destroy the relay too, and then we won't be able to reach Agent Kappa anyway," Bi-Mu added.
"Do not make me rethink the hole in the floor thing," Junior snarled.
Nana was nodding as the excerpt concluded. "You're right, Allaine's version of Junior was chasing a different sort of trophy."
"And by this year's standards," the Gray Cardinal added, "SSJ was one of the milder villains nominated."
"Agreed," Nana said. "Some of them were simply nasty – Reggie Chesterfield, for instance, from Noobfish's The Human Element."
Reggie Chesterfield - The Human Element – NoobFish
"So how is our little prisoner?" Reggie asked the platinum blonde woman as he walked into the warehouse, a million dollar smile gracing his features.
"Mouthing off. She still has a lot of fight in her," the woman replied.
"Good, good," Reggie gave Kim a leering grin. "That's how I like 'em, full of life and energy. Makes breaking them all the more fun." He walked over to Kim who stopped struggling to eye him carefully. "How are we feeling?" He asked as he ran a finger from the edge of Kim's ear down her jaw line to her chin.
Kim gasped as she felt her skin tingle from the touch of his hand. A part of her wanted to turn away from the touch of his slimy fingers, but she also relished the heightened sensitivity of her skin and felt, to her horror, that she wanted more.
Reggie smiled as he witnessed her reaction. "See? I told you that you'd enjoy it," he whispered as he leaned in a little closer, and blew a gentle breath over her sweat-drenched neck.
"Not someone I'd want to meet in the proverbial dark alley," the Gray Cardinal observed. "Nor Twila Starla's Scarlet, for that matter."
"From Scarlet Favor, I believe?" Nana said.
The Cardinal gestured in affirmation, and the relevant clip began running.
Scarlet – Scarlet Favor – Twila Starla
The
Global Justice agents were in front of the pair, all on one knee and
armed with slightly different, and quite large looking, guns, they
formed a barrier of sorts. It was apparent that formations like this
were practiced to the point of perfection.
It was the only thing
that was perfect about the scene. Destruction lay before the small
group, the Costume Hold's door (and the walls surrounding it) had
been blasted out, leaving a pile of dusty concrete and twisted metal
blocking the rest of the hallway. Unconscious (and possibly dead)
bodies of the first brigade lay buried beneath rubble and thrown
against walls.
And standing on the very top of the disaster was
the villainess who caused it all, her back turned on them.
Right
away, Margaret noticed that she had changed clothes. Gone were her
ugly asylum garbs, and in their place was a glamorous, form-fitting
black jumpsuit and silky cape, her long red hair pulled into the high
ponytail that brushed against her back.
She just stood there, one
gloved, and now clawed, hand on her hip, the other clasping
something, most likely the thing she'd used to break out.
Now
Margaret had always gotten bad vibes from that girl, but from her
spot above them, she seemed to have gained a more confident, more
threatening air, not anything like the freaky but calm, and almost
sane woman Margaret had come to know.
When the villainess finally
turned around, the whole group tensed up a little. She was much
better looking now, surprisingly stunning even, Delroy brought
himself to think as he watched her from over his weapon, with those
striking curves and a lovely face. How had she cleaned herself up
like that?
The only thing that threw her look off was her
devilish smirk and the psychotic gleam in her crimson eyes.
"Like
the costume change, Comish'?" she asked Delroy in a voice that
was suddenly more venomous then earlier, she had noticed his gawking
expression.
I'll give her props, Margaret thought, she's a
good actress.
"You know, I wasn't sure if I could still make
the whole catsuit look work after so long," spoke the young woman,
starting to make her way back down from the rubble, her two-inch
heeled boots clacking across the broken concrete.
With her free
hand, she grabbed the edge of her cape, waving it over her arm like a
vampire, "but you're right, I look incredible!"
Her
vainglorious comment set Delroy back into his right mind. With a
growl, he raised his hand gun so pointed straight at her.
"I
said drop the weapon, and stay where you are!" he shouted, showing
little to no fear of the woman's wrath.
The villainess seemed
unimpressed with his orders, then she smiled evilly, in way that made
the commissioner stiffen a little.
"You first," she said,
raising her other hand, in which laid a small, multicolored remote
control. It didn't take much for him (or Margaret) to recognize The
Mathter's Calu-laser.
"Scarletina, don't you dare!" Delroy
screamed as she stabbed a button with her thumb.
"Poor girl," Nana said as the excerpt ended. "Very troubled, that one."
Her fellow presenter lifted an eyebrow. "Some things can't be cured with lemon squares, no matter how delicious."
Nana sighed. "Perhaps not. Certainly not the sort of grand ambition described in A Period of Silence, at least."
"That one even scared me," the order desk operator put in, though only the Gray Cardinal could hear her. "Allucinere – or Maya Tromper, if you like – now there's someone who was really, truly dangerous."
"Due credit to TempestDash," the Gray Cardinal agreed, cueing the next clip.
Allucinere - A Period of Silence – TempestDash
"Tell
me you see now," said Maya, staring intensely at Kim. "Tell
me you
understand what I'm doing."
"I don't," said Kim, flatly. "How is justice served by this travesty?"
"How. Can. You. Not. See?" shouted Maya, taking a step
closer with every
syllable. "I explained it all to you the
first time we stood here. You
disagreed and we fought. Now its two
years later and you've lived in the
nightmare world left behind.
How can you still tell me you don't
understand?"
"Because I don't!" yelled Kim right back, then calmed.
"I understand why you
think you have to do something based
on... based on what's happened to you in
your life, but it's not
right. This isn't justice!"
Maya started nodding her
head back and forth. "Same old story," she said.
"Has
your form of justice served you? Are your loved ones happy and safe?
Can you live your life the way you want without having to worry
about crime
getting in your way? Are you satisfied in the way the
world treats
criminals?"
Kim said nothing.
"You
see?" said Maya. "There's your dedication. You can't even
look me in
the eye and tell me I'm wrong."
Nana Possible and the Cardinal had been conferring quietly while TempestDash's clip scrolled, and now Kim's grandmother folded her arms across her chest. "You're on your own for this one," she said firmly, and retreated to the side of the stage.
Her fellow presenter nodded sympathetically. "I understand."
The Gray Cardinal turned toward the audience. "The next nominated story is Johnnie18's Taming A Slave, featuring Zorpox – but this particular piece is difficult to describe in that it's very much an adult work, and puts Zorpox and Kim in an ongoing situation that is pretty much impossible to summarize fairly for a family audience. As you've just seen, the nature of the story is such that Nana Possible has declined to take part in presenting this nomination."
He took a breath and continued. "The real problem arises with regard to offering you an excerpt from the story. Based on my own reading, any clip we could provide that accurately represents the story's subject matter and characterization would be inappropriate for a general audience – and any clip we could offer to a general audience simply couldn't convey an accurate sense of that subject matter and characterization. Under the circumstances, I'd prefer to omit a clip entirely – but in that regard I'll defer to the judgment of our director and executive producer. Zaratan?"
Zorpox – Taming a Slave – Johnrie18
It took Kim Possible a few moments of painful moaning before finally coming to her senses. She tried her opening her eyes unsuccessfully for a minute before realizing that her eyes were in fact open. She wore a leather blindfold. The cool air coursing over her skin caused her heart to tighten in fear as she realized that she was naked.
Her arms instinctively moved to cover herself but would not budge. She felt strong chains hold her arms and legs in place. She was tied spread eagle, lying down on what felt like a cheap cot or bed.
"Hello KP." The voice caused KP to stiffen and pull at her chains involuntarily.
"Ron…" Kim's voice escaped only as a terrified whisper as she blindly looked about, her ears frantically trying to determine the location of her captor.
"Close." An amused chuckle escaped his lips, causing a shiver to run down her spine.
Kim tugged at her chains in vain hope as she tried her best to sound in control of the situation. "What's going on? Is this another one of your sick games?"
"No KP. The games are over." Zorpox's voice was almost soft as Kim traced his footstep moving over to the side of her bed, his weight sitting down by her side. "I won," he explained simply as he cast a smooth, almost sensual hand over the side of her face. "Now, I'm claiming my prize."
Zorpox's hand smoothly ran over her face and down her neck, in between her breast and down her stomach and to her left leg. Kim squirmed and struggled beneath his caresses but found herself helpless to resist.
"Stop it." Kim both ordered and pleaded. "This is low. Even for you."
Zorpox didn't respond at first. He just continued to run his hand up and down her skin before whispering, almost as if to a lover. "You're so beautiful Kim. Every inch of you is perfect. Absolutely flawless. I was a fool to wait as long as I did to tell you how I felt about you."
Kim tried hard to force down the thundering of her heart in her throat as she couldn't help but hear more than a faint trace of Ron in Zorpox's voice.
"Please Ron. I know you're still inside him. Fight him." Kim pleaded. She wanted to be strong, but now more than ever, she needed to reach her boyfriend trapped within this monster. "I need you."
"Oh Kimmie." Zorpox's hand pulled away from Kim at this, as if in disappointment. "You don't get it. All that talk about him and me being different, that was back when we were playing games. It just made it easer for you to think that I was keeping your boyfriend as a hostage; keep you from really cutting loose. But you still don't understand. There is no Ron and Zorpox. There's just the one. Me."
Kim's head rocked back for a moment in silent contemplation before shaking her head furiously. "No. I don't believe you. Ron is nothing like you."
"KP." Ron's voice escaped from Zorpox's lips. "You need to accept it. The Attitudinator didn't create a new Mr. Hyde within the good Dr. Jekyll. It just brought out the other side of me. It made me stop holding back. It tore down all those walls I built up out of fear. But it's still me in the end. I still want you every bit as bad as I ever did. Only now, I'm willing to go to entirely different lengths to get you."
"What are you going to do?" Kim asked, trying harder and harder to push down the growing fear within her.
"At first," Zorpox admitted almost embarrassedly "I was actually going to use the Attitudinator on you. Turn you into the bad girl to my bad boy. Figure we could unleash some real havoc. But then I watched you sleeping. It's the ultimate meditation technique KP. You should try it." He added with a soft chuckle at the irony. "There is nothing more peaceful, more serene than to watch you sleep."
Kim felt a lump in her throat. She had remembered falling asleep with Ron in her living room one afternoon, napping after a long mission, only to wake up and catch him staring at her. He'd had the most star struck expression on his face, she'd almost felt bad for waking up as he immediately blushed at having been caught in the act.
"It made me rethink my plan." Zorpox continued. "I don't want you in some ridiculous skin tight leopard costume with an evil laugh firing death rays. I just want you. All of you. Your mind, your body, your heart and your soul."
Kim felt tears stroll down her face as she cursed to herself silently. Zorpox spoke with the same softness, the same tenderness in his voice that Ron often used when the two of them were alone together. Of all of Zorpox's torments and tortures, she was sure that none could be as hard to endure as this.
"I want you KP. And I am willing to do anything to have you."
As Nana Possible returned to the podium, rejoining the Gray Cardinal, Rhonda Fatigable yawned from where she sat curled up at the podium's base. At the movement, Grimm Probable cleared his throat and called down from his perch, "Okay, enough stalling. Can you or can't you get Rueful back?"
"I heard that," said the order desk operator into the Cardinal's ear. "We've got a quantum frequency, but if they've moved too far from the physical point where they landed in the target dimension, a reverse charge may not yank them back."
"Working on it," the Cardinal told Grimm, then spoke more softly into the audio link. "Instructions?"
"I'm sending you an anti-charged pellet for the second Spot Remover," the desk operator said. There was a sparkle of blue on the podium next to the Fannie statue. The Cardinal tucked his staff under one arm, then cautiously picked up KT's CSR-1200 in one hand and the new pellet in the other and carefully loaded the device.
"Stand clear," he warned, and the denizens of the table Akinyi had occupied hurriedly backed away from the area where she and Rueful had disappeared earlier. Then, a little gingerly, he aimed at Akinyi's empty chair, pressed the Spot Remover's tiny firing stud,...
...the anti-pellet flashed out...
...the entire audience held its collective breath...
...a small cloud of pale green gas exploded from the tiny missile...
...and in the next instant, a weasel and an attractive young woman popped into existence, clinging momentarily to each other before both of them fell backward, landing on their respective rear ends with nearly matching squeals.
"Rueful!" Rhonda, now fully awake, clambered to her feet as the weasel shot toward her, the two colliding in a mutual hug-fest some distance to one side of the podium.
"Akinyi!" KT had raced to her fellow writer's side with equal speed, though at least half a dozen others echoed the cry of recognition.
After allowing a few moments of frenzied relief from all quarters, the Gray Cardinal rapped his staff against the podium. "We do have one more clip to introduce," he pointed out, "before we announce the winner."
"So we do," said Nana, who favored Rhonda, Rueful, Grimm, and Jade in turn with a pointedly severe gaze before adding, "And we should give proper credit to Slyrr for creating Team Probable in his All Things Probable series. Agreed?"
The quartet swallowed and nodded.
"Well, then," Nana said, "here we go."
Grimm Probable – All Things Probable series – Slyrr
Kim felt anger boiling inside her. But she fought it back and kept her hand held out. 'Please...' she said. 'I want Ron back.'
Grimm stepped forward slowly, and placed the capsule containing Ron's good side in her hand.
'Why?' she said, gritting her teeth.
He stared back at her, and for a moment he looked equally furious. 'Because you played me the last time we met, Kim Possible.' he said, an electric spark of anger in his voice. 'I fought you fair and square - but the only way you could contrive to defeat me was to play me. I did all of this for one reason only, which I think our good Sensei is uniquely fitted to understand.' he nodded to the ninja master, who stood quietly, staring at him.
'What reason?' said Kim.
Grimm paused, seeming to relish the moment. 'To restore... balance.' he said. 'Plus I couldn't wait to see the look on your face.'
Kim stood trembling with anger. 'Yeah - that look.' he said with a smirk. There was a sudden flash of light and Kim saw Rhonda putting a camera in her backpack.
'Got it, GP!' she chirped. 'One for the scrapbook!'
'You are so busted!' Kim growled. The ninja and even Sensei were closing in on them.
Grimm did not seem remotely abashed. 'How do you feel, Kim?' he said. 'Are you so full of rage that you want to hurt me?'
Kim stared at him, panting, her fists clenched. 'Take your shot, Kim.' he said, spreading out his arms. 'I'll give you one for free. You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes!'
Kim lashed out with a right hook. Grimm's head snapped to the side and he grunted in pain. He turned back to stare at her, rubbing his chin, a slow smile creeping across his lips. 'Welcome to the dark side, Kim Possible.' He turned to Rhonda. 'What did I tell you?' he said to her. 'We didn't even need the Attitudinator for her.'
"I'm tempted," said the Cardinal, tapping the Best Villain award, "to give this trophy to KT and Akinyi on the basis of tonight's little adventure. I trust neither of you will mind," he added, eyeing the duo, "if I hold onto the CSR-1200s for safekeeping. Both of them."
With a sigh, Akinyi produced her CSR-1200 from where she'd been trying to hide it, stepped forward, and handed it up to the Cardinal, who tucked it into an inside pocket of his tuxedo next to KT's.
"However," he went on, "the actual results of the balloting are right here."
He extracted a cream-colored envelope from his other inside pocket, slit open the flap, and handed the card inside to Nana Possible, who said, "The winner of the 3rd annual Fannie Award for Best Villain is Zorpox – Taming a Slave – Johnrie18!"
Applause rings across the theatre in support and respect of the decision. The audience continues to cheer. And continues. And continues…
A soft snoring within the crowd is interrupted. Johnrie18 jumps in his seat at the jab to his right arm, startled awake as he looks around. A quick look at the stage before him and the expectant presenters staring back at him, and then at the onslaught of eyes bearing down on him from the audience around him suddenly draw together in his mind. Rusty cogs and cobwebbed gears turn and turn inside the slow, unused engine of johnrie18's mind before finally coming to a realization.
"Holy crap, I won!"
Suddenly mindful of his outburst, and silently hoping that no one else heard it, the disheveled wannabe author hurriedly makes his way up to the stage, remembering to keep up the appearance of humility in his moment of victory. The applause begins again, this time somewhat…hesitant as he makes his way to the podium. Directed to the stage by the award host, he stands before the audience, trying to remember how long the label said the cheap dollar bottle of antiperspirant he bought was supposed to last. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he retrives a series of disheveled note cards, scanning over them quickly before speaking to the crowd.
"MINIONS!" His right hand shoots up suddenly "... our hour of victory is at hand! Soon, we shall storm out of the underworld and take our righteous vengence on all those who have…" An uncomfortable cough reverberates throughout the enormous theatre as johnrie18's lips force themselves shut awkwardly as he looks back down at the note card in his hand. "Whoops, wrong speech."
The audible slap of Jason Jones' hand can be heard against his own face as johnrie18 shuffles with his note cards once more before clearing his throat and beginning again.
"Claire Boothe Luce once said, "I don't have a warm personal enemy left. They've all died off. I miss them terribly because they helped define me." So many of the greatest heroes that we read of, both in fiction and in real life, are remembered I think, not for the strength of their character alone, but for the obstacles that they have overcome and the enemies that they have fought."
As the speech goes on, a proud 'Booyahahahaha' is heard echoing throughout the vast theatre, though the audience pretends not to notice.
"We all love villains. We love to hate them. We love to watch them scheme. We love to watch them fail. And every so often, though we all admit this to different degrees, we even love to watch them succeed."
A still silence has fallen over the crowd, except for the soft sobbing of Senor Senior Senior, who dries his eyes with his handkerchief. "Beautiful. Truly moving."
"It is when the heroes and their powers and weapons begin to run together that we remember the villains, for it is only through they being truly memorable that our heroes become truly legendary. And I hope if nothing else, my villains are memorable for at least one among you all. I would never defend acts of evil, but I will always write of them to remind that after any darkness, there is always light. Thank you."
Jason and Triaxx returned to the stage when Johnrie18 was finished, both looking visibly relieved. "You know, only two disappearances and no damage. That's gonna go down as a record for best Best Villain presentation ever!"
Triaxx wasn't nearly as optimistic. "Only two? We almost lost Akinyi."
"Yeah, but we got her back, didn't we?"
Triaxx raised a finger to object, but couldn't find anything to argue. "All right then, let's just welcome our next musical guest, One Republic featuring Timbaland with Apologize!"
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Bridge (guitar/piano)
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...
