Here's your chapter!
Gmail was being stupid so I couldn't even copy this part to paste it here. But then I found a way around Gmail's bitchyness and so here we are (^_^)
Human: 1; Technology: 0

Remember, this goes by scenes. Not scenes as in the scenes you go to in scene selection, scenes as in different events in the movie.
Some of those little parts are short, some are long. There will be A LOT of chapters in this story.
I suggest (and should have done this several chapters ago) that you watch the movie and/or look up the transcript so you know where I'm getting all of these jokes from and can see what I've changed and kept. It's also a lot funnier if you actually know the movie.

I'll do this in little short-ish sections, based off the different major/general scenes in the movie, such as Flick getting stuck, and the lamp incident(s).
Italics are "Ralphie" narrating. Those parts are Ralphie narrating in the movie, which I changed to fit Yugi. Everything else is just story description.
The cast list contains EVERY character, minor or not. Even the ones only briefly mentioned. Even the inanimate objects (as you can see).

The cast so far:
Yugi Muto
as Ralphie Parker
(Millenium Puzzle as the BB-Gun)
Pharaoh Atem
as Red Ryder
Mokuba Kaiba
as Randy Parker
Yugi's mom
as Mrs. Parker
Solomon Muto
as Mr. Parker
The Rare Hunters
as the bandits
Steve Lumis/Steve Umbra
as Black-Eye Bart
Ryou Bakura
as Flick
Marik Ishtar
as Schwartz
Mai Valentine
as Ms. Shields
Tea Gardner
as Esther Jane
Florence Bakura
as Scut Farcus
Melvin "Blishtar"
as Grover Dill
Little Jaden "Kuriboh" Yuki
as Little Orphan Annie
(YGO5D's as Ovaltine)
The Devlins
as the Bumpuses
Duke Devlin's fangirls
as the Bumpus hounds
Hair Guy
as the delivery guy
Mullet Guy
as a delivery guy
(Black Luster Soldier as the lamp)

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, YGOTAS, Duel Monsters, the movie "A Christmas Story", any of the characters/actors or script, and I also don't own Pokémon or anything else mentioned in here. I also don't own the story cover.

R&R!

ENJOY~!


Scene 12: This Here Is A Tree


At the tree lot...

We drove up and all exited the car. We walked into the Christmas Tree tree lot.

We were approached and greeted by the owner of the lot, Seto Kaiba.

He looked at Mokuba. "Hey there, Moky," Kaiba said to him. "How do you like your new family?"

"Very much, Seto," Mokuba replied in an emotionless tone, and with an emotionless face.

"Glad I gave you up for adoption, right?"

"Yes, Seto. These people are way better than you!"

"Yeah yeah yeah happy Hanukah." Kaiba turned away from Mokuba and looked at my mother and grandpa. "So anyway, you folks looking for a tree? We've got like 1,000 trees. This is the Christmas tree emporium of the entire Domino City. Now," he started walking away, heading over to the trees. We followed. He put a hand on a particular tree. "You're never going to ever find a better tree than this tree here. This tree right here is built to last. No needles coming off of this tree." He stomped it on the ground. When he lifted it up, underneath it was a ring of green needles that stood out clearly against the snow. "Okay." He tossed the tree away. "Now here's a tree." He picked up another one. "This here is a tree." He stomped it on the ground, but this time no needles fell off.

"That's a little skimpy in the front," Mom commented.

"Well, you just put it in the corner," Grandpa countered.

"Haven't you got a big tree?" Mom asked Kaiba.

"Hell, this isn't a tree." He tossed it away and went over to another one that was bigger. "Now here's a tree. This here is a tree."

"Wait 'till the fangirls see that one," Grandpa said.

"Don't you think it's a little large?" my mother asked. And she had just asked if they had a bigger tree. Good job, Mom.

"Listen, Christmas only comes once a year. Why not? I'm getting older every second, so this just might be my last. I want a big tree. When Christmas is over, plant the tree in the back yard and burry me under it." As Mom put a hand to her forehead, Grandpa turned to Kaiba. "How much?"

"$10,000," Kaiba replied. "But since you seem to be a man who knows his trees, I'll knock off a dollar. That's 9,999 dollars."

"No no no, don't trouble yourself with lowering the price..."

"Tell you what, I'll even knock off a hundred or two yen. Now the price is 9,998 dollars and 99 cents*."

"This isn't one of those trees that all the needles falls off, is it?" Mom asked.

"No, that's them balsams," Kaiba explained.

The old man loved bargaining as much as an Arab trader and he was twice as shrewd. And as a businessman himself, he knew how to do it right.

"You know, Mako Sunami just bought one of those brand new green plastic trees," Grandpa said aside to my mother, whispering, but loud enough to be heard by Kaiba. "Blasted thing looks like it was made out of green pipe cleaners."

"This is a very nice tree," my mother said, only half playing along.

"I'll throw in some rope and tie it to your car for you," Kaiba blurted out, not wanting to lose a customer.

"You got a deal!"

"Deal!" They shook on it.


*This conversion is NOT accurate in any way. 100Y does NOT equal 1 US cent. In case you haven't watched Season 0 Abridged and/or didn't know, it's merely a YGOTAS joke.

Thanks for reading!

Hope you're enjoying this story, no matter the season or weather! Any time is a good time for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series!

Unlike what I usually do, finish stories on my iPod and email it to myself to upload each chapter daily/weekly, I'll just do this sporadically when I feel like it and when I'm in a good mood. Which means that I have no idea where I'll start and stop or publish each one. Neither will you.
However, I'll TRY to do it weekly.

See you next chapter!

BYEEEEEEEEEE~!