A / N : Thanks again for all the support , everyone :D . You 're stellar ~ !
There were a few beats of expected silence. The beats I was interested in were the ones from their hearts. I wondered absently who would speak first.
"Rest in pieces." Cora said, deadpan.
"You're kidding, right?" Derek asked. "I mean, obviously the worst punchline ever, but a punchline nonetheless. Because I had kind of assumed you liked living."
I leveled him with an even glance. "We're going to talk. Hardly lethal." I shifted my weight. "The man's deplete of sentimentality, but he's got a twisted code he'll keep."
"Unless he decides your weight as a threat and his regard of you personally doesn't leave him feeling obliged to follow said code." It was more than obvious in the sober, solid lines of his face that his vote wasn't in my corner.
I raised an eyebrow. "Are you implying I have anything but an addictive personality?" I smiled wanly. "I'll take the risk. Besides, he might decide my worth as a prospect is greater than my worth as a threat." I paused. "I'm not sure which would be more flattering."
"What are you going to do if he offers you a position in his pack?" Scott asked.
"Well I'm hardly going to turn it down and rub it in his face." I smirked at how taken aback they looked. "I do have a survival instinct, after all. I'll accept. Relocate my pack." I smiled bitterly at the irony. "We'll run away."
"You do realize this could very well be you RSVPing to suicide by Alpha pack, right?" Derek asked.
"I didn't know you cared." I said patronizingly. Adrenaline circuited my body, making my nerves and emotions feel like live wires. I felt uncomfortable with their scrutiny. I wasn't used to having people question my authority, let alone my authority over my own life. Those days were gone.
"I don't. But since it seems like your survival instinct is running about as well as Internet Explorer, I thought I'd remind you of the fact that if it boils down to a fight, you'll be outmatched."
"Well then I'll die giving them pretty little scars to remember me by."
"What do you have to gain from this? What is so worth putting your neck on the line this recklessly to get a little facetime with Deucalion?" Allison asked.
"You clearly have no idea how wolf politics work. It's equal parts posturing and violence. Half talking the talk, half fighting the fight. I need to show him what I want him to see of me. And I need to let him know I'm not afraid."
"All that's going to do is make him want to teach you to be afraid." Derek said.
"Good thing I left all the strings attached to me at home, isn't it." I said flatly.
"Look, you're going to go in there if your mind's set on it no matter what we say. But do you realize—fully realize—that that is exactly it; you left those strings at home. Now, you've definitely helped us more than hurt us. Some more than others." He glanced at Scott. "But I for one am not going to put my neck on the line for you when you're walking down a road with disaster written all over it in neon paint."
"Derek." Scott said, censuring.
"No. He's right." I said, dismissing him with a flare of my fingertips. "But you're forgetting two very important things, Hale. I never asked any of you to sail with me on this 'sinking ship'. And this is hardly my first time in the ring."
"Have you even ever killed anybody outside of desperation?" Hale asked, with exasperation, but not cruelty.
There was a heavy silence as the others waited on my reaction.
"If you'll remember," I began softly. Deadly, "I didn't kill him because I was desperate. I killed him because I was done." I paused, making sure every word was controlled. "And I've got the tally marks on me to remember all the Alphas and Omegas who thought once Alaric was gone, my wolves were sitting ducks. So I'd say, yes, I am quite intimate with the concept of murder."
There was an even deeper silence. Leagues of it. I think they were remembering that despite the lace and pearly whites, my reputation wasn't to be taken as void. I was very much a threat to whoever I chose to be a threat to. And they were realizing that maybe their circle of comradery with me was a lot tighter than they'd thought.
"Well. That's not going to win you any Miss America pageants." Stiles said, deadpan. The tension left the room instantly as nigh everybody gave him a disbelieving look. I smiled a crescent smile despite myself.
"Are we really going to leave her on her own?" Scott asked, throwing a look full of friction at Derek. "After what she's done for us?"
"Ugh. Can we please change the subject? And stop assuming this is going to end horrifically. Although I appreciate the solidarity, I don't need your help." I pointed to Scott, not without feeling. "Or yours." I pointed to Allison. And then around the room. "Or yours, or yours, or yours." Stiles, Lydia, Isaac. "And I definitely don't need yours." Hale. "I only let you all know so if something does go wrong, you'll know I didn't just skip town, and if it goes beautifully, I can rub it in your faces at all the most inappropriate moments."
"And what if something does go wrong?" Isaac asked, mouth downturned. He looked awfully intense. "Because as far as I see it, that can only mean death. Are you just going to risk abandoning all of those people depending on you? Do you really value yourself that lowly?"
"You think I haven't lost weeks' worth of nights, staying up and thinking about that?" I asked venomously. "You think it was easy coming to the conclusion that even if I did die, I'd still be helping out my pack?"
"You mean that's an option you're hoping for?" Allison gasped.
"Obviously it's not my first choice. But it's just as-if not more-workable than me getting an invitation to join the Alpha pack." It was getting to be too much of an exertion, unnecessarily explaining myself to these people. "If I live, then fine, I get a grace period to kill everyone I care about, but instead we run. And I am eternally blacklisted by Deucalion, who will almost guaranteed develop an acute appetite for my blood. But if I die, Cedric takes over the pack. He's more than capable of managing, but not enough to get Deucalion's heart racing." I got up.
"What, you're just going to drop a bomb like that and go?" Lydia asked incredulously.
"It was more of a courtesy, than anything." I said blankly. I was not going to let them see any of the emotion beginning to slice its way to the surface. I wasn't prepared to wear my heart on my sleeve like this was some kind of interventional fashion show. "Thank you for keeping me in the loop. I'll see what I can do to help."
"Ari—"
I almost stopped at the doorway. But I knew if I did, I was going to complete this spider's web of entanglements I hadn't intended on.
So I left.
