I do not own Hakuouki, all I own is Kurisutaru! :) There will be similarities to the show!


Chapter 12

"O-Okita-san?" her voice was weak and she struggled to make any sound at all.

This sensation reminded her of Kazama; it reminded her of his cold eyes and his stare that could send even the strongest men running with their tails between their legs.

She didn't know why but this side of Okita frightened her; she knew he was a warrior but she had never seen him kill someone, he even seemed to enjoy it.

No, he didn't just simply enjoy killing those men.

'He… He loved it…"

She had never imagined he would be like this, not in a million years; the thought of what he was capable of caused her body to shake uncontrollably as tears welled up in her eyes.

She had experienced demons being this way more often than not, and humans weren`t much different than many demons when they thirsted for blood, but it was the sheer pleasure he got from it that scared her more than anything.

The image of his face when he turned to look at her still burned fresh into her mind, the grin that he wore wasn't the same mischievous grin he always had when he was teasing her, it wasn't the grin that made her cheeks flush with heat or that made her stomach flutter or even the grin that pushed her buttons and sent her off the deep end with frustration.

It was the grin of someone who enjoyed taking lives of others whether it is orders from his commander or not.

It was the grin of someone who enjoyed playing the role of the blade; to kill someone without questioning why or if they deserved it.

It was the grin of someone who seriously wanted to feel the life drain from their enemy and watch their eyes grow dull as the last of their life force left them.


His hand fell back down to his side and his head hung low as he stood in front of the tiny woman in front of him; her golden brown eyes were too much to look at after what he had done,

Killing was all he was good for –or so he thought -but around her made him want to be better at more than just killing people.

It was too late now, he had almost killed her without even thinking about it; he was an inch away from taking her life with his own two hands.

The thought of that made his stomach do flips while he fought back the need to throw up.

There was no doubt in his mind that she hated him now; and he didn't blame her, he wouldn`t have ever forgiven himself if he hadn`t been able to stop in time.

Even Kondou-san disagreed with how much he enjoyed killing people, he knew that but it didn't stop him from staying by his side though.

'Kondou-san'

The name reminded him why he was here in the first place; it reminded him of why he enjoyed taking the three men's lives more than that of anyone else.

They had shot Kondou-san.


If her hood hadn't fallen, she would have been killed; half demon or not no one could survive their throat being sliced open.

She didn't want him to be like this, she didn't want him to take someone's life. She had taken so many lives' herself and she hated herself for it but never knew how to stop it from happening before it was too late.


Images flashed through her mind of Okita standing over the men as he asked them a single question; it went unanswered –he didn`t seem to need an answer-as he beheaded the first of the three men effortlessly.


"Kurisu-kun… I…" his voice was deep and steady as he kept his head down, staring at the ground beneath him.

'Why won't he look at me? ' her brows tugged into a frown as her fists clenched the dirt and she stared up at the man before her who seemed to be struggling to find the right words to say.

Her golden brown orbs widened as she watched him suddenly collapse to his knees with his shoulders slouched forward; tears streamed down his face which seemed to contort in pain.

The face he made looked familiar; in fact everything about this seemed familiar.

She remembered Kondou-san walking her to the back of the headquarters and the pain she felt that crippled her to the point of no return.

She remembered the unimaginable searing pain within her chest that wouldn't subside no matter how hard she attempted to put it out with the tears that fell.

Her face softened as she shifted her position to sit on her knees, she reached her slender arms out to the strong man in front of her and tugged his head towards her.

He must have been shocked by the contact with her hands since he brought his head up to meet her gaze she saw the tears still streamed down his face relentlessly.

What she saw in his face couldn't be explained with words. There had never been any words created that could describe exactly how this man looked.

If she were to attempt it she would say that he looked broken and lost to Kurisutaru; he looked like he had no purpose anymore and she couldn't understand why but she knew that it took a lot for Okita to appear like this.

Okita leaned forward and roughly collapsed to the ground with his head buried in her lap, he made no sound but tears didn't stop falling from his face nor did he make any effort to move as they stayed there for a few minutes.

She closed her eyes and slowly let her hands naturally find their way to his brownish-red hair, where they instinctively began to run through as gently as possible to comfort him as much as she could.

"Kondou-san…" his voice wavered as it finally rang out into the darkness.

"They shot Kondou-san" his hands gripped the clothing on either side of her legs and he didn't say anything more as tears streamed from his face again; letting her piece it together herself, he didn't know if he could trust himself to speak more about it.

It only took her a moment to finally understand everything that occured; why he went after the men, why he seemed to enjoy it more than anything else, and why he seemed so broken.

When her parents were killed she had never enjoyed anything more than killing those villagers; as much as she frightened herself with it, she craved it more than anything.

'Those men seemed to have taunted him with the gunfire since he doesn't have so much as a scratch on him'

Feeling relieved that he wasn't injured her thoughts began to wander as she thought of the men who laid lifelessly on the road not far from them.

A part of her felt strongly as though the men deserved the punishment they had gotten, the other part of her hated herself for feeling that way.

'Perhaps I understand him all too well'

Her heart ached for her dear friend, just seeing Okita like this made her want to somehow take all this pain away from him, even though she didn't know how.

"It's going to be alright Souji, I promise you"

She was slightly disappointed when he decided to lift his head off her lap and raise it to her level; looking her in the eyes with his deep emerald green eyes she could tell he wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to find the words.

A warm smile tugged at her lips as she leaned towards him, laying her face against his chest and wrapping her arms tightly around his body which sent electricity down her spine and her stomach fluttered nervously feeling his soft skin against her face.

"It's okay Souji, I'm alright" she knew he was worried about how he had almost killed her, and as much as it had frightened her at the time she understood that it was all merely an accident; and that he was sincerely sorry for it, he had no way to know that it was her beneath that hood anyways.

"Thank you, Ku-ri-su-kun "

She couldn't see his face but from his voice she could tell he was more relaxed and at peace with himself; but that didn't stop her from worrying about Kondou-san.

She wouldn't allow the sweet, nice, young, and gentle commander to suffer too much; she knew there was something she had to do about it and she silently vowed to do whatever she could to keep Kondou-san from suffering not just for his sake, but for Okita's as well.

"Okita-san… You really need to be heading back to headquarters" the sound of footsteps faintly in the distance pulled her back to reality; where 3 bodies of men lay dead in the streets not far from where they sat with Okita covered in blood that was not his own.

If they saw him here he would need to answer for this to Hijikata-san and this would tarnish the Shinsengumi since she was sure that Okita had no hard evidence these men really shot the Commander.

Okita followed her gaze and seemed to be thinking the same as he pushed himself to his feet, picking up his katana and sheathing it protectively at his left side.

Giving one last glance to the bodies surrounded by a pool of deep red crimson, they headed in the other direction relying on her sensitive hearing to avoid seeing people in the streets.

After a few moments of silence not far from the midpoint between her temporary home and the Shinsengumi headquarters they stopped to part ways; she assumed he was still disturbed since he was so quiet but she wasn't about to question him.

As his footsteps came to a stop in front of her, she dropped her gaze to the ground between them; she felt reluctant to stop but couldn't find the courage to keep him from leaving.

Her heart thrummed within her chest nervously just at the thought of leaving him again; She winced as a familiar searing pain echoed through her body.

"I will see you again, Kurisu-kun"

She lifted her head with wide eyes to see Okita's half turned body somewhat facing her direction; his half lidded eyes which had been dull with lack of purpose were now bright and full of life again making her body flutter nervously.

All she could do was smile and nod excitedly to the young captain who seemed entertained by her reactions.

He turned to face her with a grin and pulled her into a gentle embrace; his warmth resonated throughout her whole body as she smiled into his chest, closed her eyes and inhaled the cool air surrounding them, as his sweet smell cascaded all around her.

His arms were wrapped protectively around her tiny frame which seemed so delicate that he could break her if he squeezed too hard. Her soft, brown locks of hair tickled his arms as the wind trailed them back and forth.

Quiet footsteps that seemed forever away picked up their pace as she heard voices being raised in alarm.

'Looks like they finally found the bodies' if she wouldn't have been a half demon neither of them would have known the villagers found the dead men she and Okita left behind.

"O-Okita…" her voice had a hint of worry as she gripped his brown blood stained haori and opened her eyes.

"Yeah, time to go Ku-ri-su-chan" her brows pulled together suspiciously as a hint of humor flashed through his shining emerald eyes.

"But, if you tell anyone about this young lady, I'll kill you" closing one of his eyes to wink at her, he flashed her one of his mischievous smiles that caused heat to rise to her cheeks.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Ku-ri-su-chan" turning to walk away he gave her a friendly wave and headed back towards the headquarters lazily.

She watched him for a few moments before turning and heading in the opposite direction from him; she knew he would stay true to his promise, but she had her own promises to keep as well.

After a minute of walking in silence she dodged behind a building and took shelter within the shadows and out of Okita's sight; if she was going to help Kondou-san she needed to do it fast, he was more than likely going to be moved from the headquarters at dawn if he was able to survive that long.

With that thought she sprinted out from the shadows and used all of her abilities to get to the headquarters as fast as she could without being noticed; she wouldn't get many windows to help him since there would surely be someone watching over him throughout the night so she would need to be patient.

'I'll be there soon, Commander Kondou'