From the seashore he could see the waves crashing against the rocks of the cliff, loudly and imposing. The cloudy sky and the grey waters supplied the scene with a wistful air, and the presence of the young man taking in all his surroundings seemed overwhelmingly insignificant amidst the magnificence of nature. Deep blue eyes were now fixed on the clifftop, and, for a brief moment, he could see himself standing there. As a little kid, he used to love watching the sea from that height. It made him feel powerful. His mum was always near, keeping a close eye on him. He could almost see her now, too.

The sound of approaching footsteps on the sand brought him back to the present.

"You took your time, old man" he teased. "Is the walk up to here too long for you?"

"Your jokes about my age— which, by the way you speak, it would seem I'm over one hundred years old instead of thirty five—do not make sense anymore, Anakin. What does it say about you that you hang out with me so much, then, if I'm an 'old man'?"

"I guess it says that I like old men." Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Seriously now, what took you so long?"

"I told you I was examining—"

"The flowers on the passage, yes, I know. Geez, Obi-Wan. Literature, flowers… you're such a geek. Must you know everything about everything?"

"It's called being cultivated. Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll pick up a little bit of that by just being with me."

"And end up being a geek like you? Thanks, I think I'll pass."

Ahsoka had been right: the banter was not going anywhere, no matter the many changes in their relationship. And it warmed Obi-Wan's heart that that was the case.

Ever since they decided to give a romantic relationship between them a try, every single day had been an adventure of sorts. Getting to know another side of Anakin, exploring this new territory together, it was exhilarating. He could now gaze at him for as long as he wanted to as he worked on his machines— or as he disemboweled them, as Obi-Wan liked to call it— without fear of being caught. He no longer had to repress the urge of brushing away a lock of that rebellious hair when it fell on his cheek. And now he finally knew what it was to put an end to his endless banter by placing his lips on his. He had come to discover there were few things in the world he liked more than to shut him up with a kiss.

Yes, it was exhilarating. But it was quite scary too.

The many joyous smiles, the light-hearted teasing, and his apparent good humor could not fool Obi-Wan. Not a single day had passed when he didn't catch his young companion with a vacant expression, staring into the distance. Just like he was now. His body was there on the beach, but his mind was elsewhere, miles away from him. He had no doubt as to what—or rather, who— occupied his thoughts. And, given that he had two lifetimes to look back on, the possible scenarios were endless.

Obi-Wan hated how useless that made him feel. There was nothing he could do, or say, to help him; in fact, it was very likely he would only make things worse if he did. So he had no choice but to stay silent in those moments, knowing that his dear Anakin was suffering.

It was a Saturday afternoon, one of those spring days when the temperature is at times cold and at times tolerable. The sky was covered by heavy clouds that kept the disk of the sun hidden for the most part, and the strong wind kept the sea alive with violent waves that filled the silence with their roars. They had decided to spend some time together at the beach; more precisely, at the furthest end of the beach, Anakin's favorite place in town. It was one of Obi-Wan's favorite places too, because of its solitude and the impressive scenario of mountains, cliffs, and vegetation surrounding it. But, no matter how picturesque it all was, the actual moment he had fallen in love completely with the place was when he and Anakin had reconciled and resumed a renewed friendship, free of the ghosts and lies of a distant past.

"Ugh, damn it" Anakin cursed when his leather jacket, which he had taken off during the long walk, fell from his shoulders to the ground. He started shaking the sand from it frantically, with a disgusted look on his face that elicited a laugh from Obi-Wan.

"Oh, Anakin, your hate for sand is getting ridiculous." Instead of the witty reply he'd been expecting, Anakin stilled for a few seconds as that vacant look took over him again. Force, what is it now? Please, say something, allow me to help you.

Anakin resumed his movements with a frown on his face, and when he was satisfied with the result he put on his jacket again. The cold win was picking up, blowing sand all over the place and making Anakin's efforts to shake it off from his clothes fruitless. Obi-Wan shook his head in fond amusement: only the contradiction that was Anakin Skywalker would share an inexplicable hate for sand and a tremendous love for the beach at the same time.

"You see those cliffs over there?" Anakin broke the silence. "I went there many times with mum when I was a kid. It used to get her on her nerves every time I got near the edge" he chuckled as a memory of her mother came to him, furious at Anakin for having disobeyed her and having come too near the cliff edge. She had threatened him with never coming back there for the fright he'd given her, but in the end she had surrendered to his puppy eyes look—as Obi-Wan liked to call it— and had forgiven him. He never gave her such a fright ever again.

"Reckless as always."

Anakin hummed pensively. "I used to tell her that one day, when I was older, I would be brave enough to jump off the cliff."

"And that would be about the last thing you ever did. Don't you see those sharp rocks on the water? It would take a miracle to not be killed on the spot."

"And that's exactly what she said, same words and everything. You two would have got on really well." He sighed wistfully and leant on a big rock, crossing his arms on his chest. Just when Obi-Wan was thinking that he was about to go through another of his gloomy moods, he talked again.

"I used to come with Padmé here a lot, too." Oh. "Everywhere I look reminds me of her." He placed his hand on his hair in a gesture of frustration, looking as though he regretted having said anything at all. "It was a bad idea to have come here." With you, he didn't say, but he didn't need to. "We better go somewhere else."

"Wait, Anakin" he told him before he could move. "So I take it you know this place well, then?"

"Yes, as if it was my second home" he answered slightly puzzled by the question, a quizzical look on his eyes. It was quite endearing.

"Then you must know what's over there?"

He looked at him as if he had hit his head. "You mean the bunch of rocks?"

"No, I mean the beach that's behind the bunch of rocks."

"What? There's nothing there!"

"Don't you ever get tired of being wrong? Come, I'll show you." He motioned Anakin to follow him through the narrow path amongst the big rocks. "This part of the beach is only accessible during the low tide, just like now. Otherwise it's completely covered by the sea." His voice came out as an echo due to the rocks that surrounded the path.

"I never noticed."

"You were never very observant, my former apprentice."

"At least I wasn't scared shitless when I had to fly!"

Obi-Wan didn't deign to offer him a reply to that. They were reaching the end of the short path amongst the rocks, and he could already hear the soft murmur of the sea, as if it was calling them. Then he saw the waves crashing on the shore of that small but enchanting place. The tide was really low that day, so they would be able to walk a long path along the shore. From where they were situated now, the cliffs in the distance that Anakin had been talking about before could be appreciated in greater detail, and the roar of the waves crashing against the rocks was far more overwhelming. It was beautiful. And the best part, Anakin had never been in this place before. The weight of the memories would be more manageable, or so he hoped.

"Well. I was right, you see. How unsurprising." Obi-Wan teased as he basked in the beauty of their surroundings. "What do you think?"

He felt the warmth of a soft hand enclosing his. A contented smile pulled across Obi-Wan's lips as he interlaced his fingers with Anakin's.

"I love it." He was looking at him with grateful eyes. "Thank you, it's beautiful."

You're beautiful, he thought as he gazed into the depths of those sapphire eyes. "I'm glad you like it."

They left their shoes on a corner away from the water, and they walked hand by hand along the shore, their trousers rolled up to their knees. The water didn't feel cold once one got used to it.

"So," Obi-Wan started, resuming their conversation from before, "you think your mother would have liked me, then?"

"I am sure of it." He huffed amused. "You two would have teamed up against me all the time. It would have been a nightmare for me." A nightmare I would give anything to experience. "Anyway, yeah. She would have loved you. Both you and the Jedi you."

Obi-Wan hummed pensively. "I'm not so sure about the last one. As your Master, I think we can safely say I left much to be desired."

Anakin stopped in his tracks, making Obi-Wan stop too. "You were the best Master for me. End of the story." Obi-Wan highly doubted it, but he didn't want to bring up again their former trust issues, their incapability of being honest with one another, let alone their failure at communicating successfully. Some things were better left in the past, especially considering they had already discussed this. Still, his self-criticism for not having been there for Anakin when he needed him the most was apparent all over his face. "I mean it" Anakin insisted. He then smiled. "The only Jedi I actually gave a damn about what his opinion was."

"I should be honored" he replied amused.

"You should. In my eyes, you were the best Jedi. Making you proud meant the whole world to me."

Obi-Wan blushed, never having been one to know how to take compliments, much less how to respond to them. But Anakin's words, that had meant the world to him. He supposed he should give an answer that could measure up to Anakin's heartfelt comment, but, for all he was supposed to have a great command over language, he sometimes found it incredibly difficult to put his feelings into words. "I'm sure I would have loved your mother, too." Anakin smiled. "She has all my respect and admiration for having had to put up with you as a child for two lifetimes." He tried to keep a straight face. "She deserves a statue for that." Anakin rolled his eyes.

"I deserve a statue for having had to put up with your bad sense of humor for two lifetimes." Anakin started to resume his walking, but Obi-Wan pulled his hand and drew him towards himself. He then placed one arm around his waist, holding him close, and only let go of his hand to caress his cheek.

"But mostly, she has all my admiration for having raised this wonderful man, with the biggest heart I've ever known."

Before he knew it, Anakin's soft, plump lips were kissing his, and he lost himself in the wonderful sensations. This was another of the many exhilarating, blissful moments that were part of his life ever since he and Anakin had decided to embark on a relationship. For it wasn't always that Anakin was absent, brooding and wistful. It wasn't always that Anakin was thinking about someone who no longer existed. There were times, like this one, when the only thing that mattered was their love. When the only thing that occupied their thoughts was the uncertain but thrilling journey they had decided to undertake together.

When the only things that his brain could register—or the only things that were worth noting— had to do with Anakin. He was now dimly aware of the loud noises caused by the sea, and yet he heard with unerring clarity Anakin's soft, contented sigh when their lips parted for a brief moment. Brief moment indeed: as soon as he heard, felt, that sigh on his lips, he had no choice but to reconnect their mouths. Then their tongues were softly caressing, and he just couldn't bring himself to care when a wave crashed against the shore a bit more forcefully than the others, getting the lower part of his trousers wet. The wisest decision would have been to get away from the sea— it'd be really difficult to clean the stains on his clothes later— but to do that he would have had to disconnect their lips, and to say that he was not really up to it was an understatement. In fact, his grip on his waist tightened, holding him even closer, not planning to move away from the shore anytime soon. Anakin's right hand was caressing the hairs at his nape, and he knew that it was that, and not the cool breeze, which was making him shiver. And then Anakin tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss, and Obi-Wan thought that he would gladly spend the rest of his days just like this, if it were possible.

There they stayed embraced for a while, amidst the grey sky and sea, the wind rustling their clothes violently. Insignificant when compared to the powers of nature, but together. In this corner of the beach where the only memories Anakin would have, would be of the two of them together; as they rewrote the pages of a story that wasn't originally meant for them, but that had miraculously ended being so. And there might be many obstacles and difficulties along the way, as is the case with most stories, but each and every one of them would be worth it if he got to share any portion of his life with the wonderful man that was in his arms.


"Come on, Skyguy." Ahsoka put his drink out of reach. "You've drunk enough already!"

"Shut up, Snips. I can talk perfectly, you see?"

"Yes, but you can barely stand straight." They were at the bar, celebrating the birthday of one of Rex's friends. Anakin was never one to drink too much. Sure, he used to indulge in the occasional beer every now and then, but she could count with the fingers of one hand the occasions in which he had gotten way too drunk. Unfortunately, now seemed to be one of those occasions. And, apparently, he didn't intend to stop drinking any time soon.

"What's wrong with you?" he complained trying to reach the bottle that Ahsoka was holding, to no avail.

"No, what's wrong with you? It's not like you to drink so much, especially when there's nothing worrying you. Wait, did you and Obi-Wan have a fight?" she whispered so as to not be overheard by the rest.

His friend's face adopted a dreamy look as soon as the name Obi-Wan was uttered. Ahsoka chuckled in spite of their current predicament.

"Obi-Wan? Where's Obi-Wan? Is he here?" he asked with the same excitement one would see in the face of a child about to open a Christmas present.

"Shh, what if someone hears you?" He truly was plastered, even if could still speak in complete sentences. Which wouldn't last for too long, at the rate he was drinking. She needed to convince his friend to leave the bar, but he was being his typical stubborn self. If only Obi-Wan was here… She smiled as a brilliant idea came to her. She wrote a message to him, informing him of the situation, and asking him if she could bring Anakin to his flat.

"Are you writing to Obi-Wan? Tell him that I l–" He blushed. "That I miss him. No! Better tell him that—"

His friend graciously interrupted him. "Hey, Anakin, so I was thinking, Obi-Wan's apartment is really close. Do you want to pay him a visit?"

"Yeah! But, wait."He narrowed his eyes quite comically. "He must be sleeping."

"You just saw I talked to him by the phone."

"Oh, yeah, you're right. Wait, but—" What now, Ahsoka thought exasperated. "It's four AM. I don't think he likes it when I go to his home at these hours."

She did a double take. "Why would you usually go to his apartment at four AM? Oh, forget it, I really don't want to know. It's fine, Anakin. He's cool with us coming. Let's go!"

Obi-Wan's flat was a short walk from the bar indeed, but going there was not an easy task, what with the way Anakin was staggering. She helped him by putting his right arm around her shoulder, and when they arrived to their destination Obi-Wan welcomed them with an exasperated, if slightly amused look.

"Obi-Wan!" Anakin exclaimed cheerfully throwing himself into his arms, or trying to— he stumbled and almost fell to the floor in the process.

"Easy there, Anakin." Obi-Wan helped him keep his balance by putting an arm on his waist and placing Anakin's left arm around his shoulders. "Force, how much did he have?"

"Too much."

"Don't listen to her. She's evil" Anakin mumbled with his head resting at the crook of his neck. "I told her you wouldn't like us coming this late to visit you. Are you angry with me?" he pouted.

"What— No, Anakin, I'm not angry with you."

"Good." He placed one kiss on his neck, satisfied with that answer.

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka exchanged an amused smile.

"All yours now" Ahsoka said with a tired sigh.

"Thank you for your help, Ahsoka."

"Sure! That's what friends are for. And former Padawans, for that matter" she joked before disappearing behind the elevator door.

"Alright. Let's get you to the couch, shall we? No, not that one. That's not a couch, Anakin." He sighed and shook his head fondly as Anakin finally sat down on the couch. "What am I going to with you?"

"That's up for you to decide" he replied with a cheeky smile.

Obi-Wan ignored the innuendo and went to the kitchen, returning shortly after with a pill and a glass of water.

"Take this. You'll feel better in the morning. Or rather, less horrible."

Anakin swallowed the pill and took a small sip of water.

"Drink it all."

Anakin pulled a face. "Alright, Master." He drank the whole glass of water grudgingly. "Is there anything else you want, Master?"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "You're even less funny when drunk."

He huffed ironically. "Yeah, like you're one to talk." Anakin's mocking expression was suddenly replaced by a serious, solemn look, that didn't herald anything good according to his experience. "Obi-Wan" he said. "Can I tell you a secret?" Oh, Force. I don't think I can take any more secrets. He nodded with apprehension. Anakin came near him on the couch and started speaking, slightly slurring his words. "Actually, I… I do like your sense of humor. Sometimes. Other times I hate it, though. But, yeah. Am I making any sense?"

Obi-Wan released the sigh he'd been holding. Then he chuckled, immensely relieved that he hadn't been told about another secret of epic proportions. Of the kind of 'I was married in the other life' or 'I slaughtered a tribe of Tusken Raiders out of rage'.

"Yes, you're making sense."

"Then why are you laughing at me?"

Obi-Wan just shook his head, and placed one hand on his cheek.

"So you like my sense of humor, then?" he reminded him amused.

"No, not like. I just don't hate it."

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say, Anakin. You do know I'm bringing up this conversation again in the morning, right?"

Anakin groaned, hating the self-satisfied smile on Obi-Wan's face. He kinda liked it a bit too, though. He kinda liked it a lot. That was one of his favourite Obi-Wan's smiles. Also, it was not fair. The man looked as stylish and elegant and just plain gorgeous in his pyjamas as when he was dressed formally for when he had to give a class. It didn't surprise him, though. He was certain that he could wear a crocodile costume and would still manage to pull it off nicely. He traced the contour of his cheekbone with his index finger. Perhaps it was just the alcohol, but once more Obi-Wan's eyes seemed to be that indefinable colour between blue, grey and green. "You're so handsome" he blurted out. And he was even more handsome now that his cheeks had turned crimson. "I always thought you were handsome."There was this nagging sensation that told him he should be feeling guilty for that statement, but his hazy state of mind prevented him from developing that thought.

Obi-Wan chuckled lightly, thinking that, yes, he was definitely bringing up this conversation in the morning. "You're not so bad yourself." He placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Or at least keeping it chaste had been his intention. As soon as their mouths met, Anakin responded enthusiastically, parting his lips to allow his tongue entrance. Obi-Wan took the hint gladly, exploring thoroughly the depths of his mouth with his own tongue. He tasted strongly of alcohol, and he couldn't care less. Anakin moaned against his mouth, and it was that sound which brought him out of his fuzzy state of mind, allowing him to think clearly. Anakin was drunk, and he needed to put a stop to this at once.

They were taking things slowly in their relationship, and so nothing had yet happened between them, apart from the loving kisses and innocent caresses—which already meant the whole world to Obi-Wan. Anakin was simply not ready for that. It was not something they had discussed openly, but they didn't need to. It was apparent from the way Anakin used to lose himself in his thoughts, or how he sometimes broke their kisses with guilty and gloomy eyes, only to spend the next hour in a brooding mood. He knew he was struggling with his emotions, trying to forgive himself for having feelings—and acting on those feelings— for someone who wasn't his deceased girlfriend, and wife no less. And, as much as Obi-Wan would give anything to help him through this, this was a battle he had to fight on his own. All he could do was being there for him for when he needed his help.

"Anakin" he said in a shaky voice when he managed to break the kiss. "We need to stop."

"Why?" he pouted, climbing into his lap and straddling him on the sofa. He then rolled his hips, and Obi-Wan had to muster up all of his self-restraint to hold back the moan that had threatened to escape his lips. Anakin smirked. "You want this."

"You're drunk."

"So? I want this, too."

He shook his head. You wouldn't be doing this if you were sober. "That would be taking advantage of you" he said firmly.

Soft lips were at his neck then, and his skin involuntarily shivered. He couldn't help closing his eyes in satisfaction when those lips traced a path upwards his neck until they reached his ear. "Then take advantage."

He opened his eyes, disgusted at the mere idea of it. "Never" he replied more forcefully than he'd intended. He'd rather die than being intimate with Anakin when there was the slightest possibility of him not being in full possession of his senses to give his consent.

Anakin groaned, recognising a lost cause when saw one. "Whatever." He disconnected their bodies and he lay flat on the sofa, taking the blanket that was on the armrest. "Ugh, turn the damn lights off, will you? It's too bright in here."

"Anakin, you don't have to sleep in here. You can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

"No, you take the bed" he mumbled. "I'll sleep on the couch, I like the couch" he murmured with his eyes closed.

"But you will have a sore back tomorrow!"

Anakin opened his eyes and groaned again. "Why are you still talking? Go to your bed, Obi-Wan."

He rolled his eyes fondly. "You're so stubborn." Anakin stuck his tongue out at him. "And childish."

"At least I'm not an old man" he answered mockingly before turning around on the couch. "G'night."

Obi-Wan stared at his back amused, already anticipating the many ways in which he could mortify him in the morning by bringing up the events of the night.

"Sleep well, my dear."


It never ceased to amaze him—in a bad way— just how untidy Anakin's apartment was. It was quite distracting: every cell of his being itched to put everything in order. But to do that he would have had to stop correcting the endless pile of exams he should hand over for tomorrow, and the correction of those exams was the reason Obi-Wan was in Anakin's empty flat to begin with. The constructions that had begun that week in front of his house made it impossible for him to concentrate in there. So, he'd asked Anakin if he could stay at his place just for the day. He hadn't considered how distracting the mess around him was going to be, though.

As soon as he heard the door, he opened his mouth to tease him about the mess, only to close it at once at seeing the state that he was in.

"What on earth happened to you?"

He looked like a mess— not to be redundant or anything. He had a bruise on his cheek, and stains of blood all over his shirt.

"Just got into a fight" he brushed him off, making a wince when he closed the door.

"Oh, right, just got into a fight. Another day at the office" he replied with sarcasm, before regretting the fact of having sounded harsher than he'd intended. He just hated it— with every fiber of his being— when he saw him hurt, and even more so when he didn't seem to care in the least about being hurt. He always had hated it, but in their previous lives as Jedi it had happened far more often than he would have liked to. Although, perhaps, he was not one to talk.

"I'm not in the mood for fighting, Obi-Wan." He disappeared towards his bedroom.

"Oh, no, you seem to have fought enough already." He shook his head reprovingly and followed him to his bedroom.

"What happened?" he asked with his arms crossed on his chest, making a grimace when Anakin, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, took off his shirt; and the many bruises on his torso were revealed to him. "Oh, Anakin."

"I came off well, considering the circumstances. Better than that bastard, anyways."

"Would you please stop downplaying the gravity your injuries?" He sighed. "Hold on, I'll go for the first-aid kit."

Shortly after, as he was tending to his wounds, Anakin explained to him what had happened. "I saw one of the typical snob jerks of our university making fun of a student near the campus. If you had heard the things he said... I had to defend him."

"And was there no better way of defending him than getting into a fight? Sorry" he apologised when Anakin winced as he treated one wound on his shoulder that looked particularly bad.

"No, Obi-Wan! That wasn't a time for... negotiations. It just makes my blood boil whenever I see someone being humiliated." Obi-Wan looked at him sympathetically. "It reminds me of when I felt excluded at the Jedi Temple by the other initiates. I wish I could have had someone to defend me back then." He regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. "I mean, I didn't meant that I— of course I knew you were there, but—"

"It's alright, Anakin." But Obi-Wan's sad eyes were definitely not alright. "I know I wasn't there for you as much I should have."

"No! You did defend me when I had some arguments with others—"

"Yes, but I was too aloof most of the time. I'm sorry I didn't offer you all the affection that you needed."

"No, Obi-Wan, I didn't mean it like that! Look, just forget it. It's all water under the bridge now. I mean, it didn't even happen in this life" he joked trying to make light of the situation.

"Right" he answered thoughtfully. "At any rate, and even if I don't approve of these methods... it warms my heart every time you stand up for others." Anakin smiled bashfully, and neither of them talked for a while. He kept tending to his wounds, all the while Anakin watched him enthralled. True, Obi-Wan might not be the most effusive person in the world when it came to talking about his feelings, but his actions spoke volumes about how much he cared. Right now he could feel it in the reverent way in which he touched him, extremely careful so as not to hurt him any more than was necessary as he treated his wounds. Still, Anakin would give anything to hear the words from Obi-Wan; the word he had always seemed so reluctant to utter. But this was already far more than he would have ever dared to dream.

"Well, we're done here. Luckily it wasn't as bad as it looked."

"I told you."

"Oh, excuse me for not taking your word at face value. It certainly wouldn't be the first time— nor the last, I'm sure of that— that you lie about the gravity of your wounds."

"What can I say? I learned that from my Master."

They shared a knowing smile. "Touché."

He was suddenly too aware of Obi-Wan's hand on his chest. And he knew that the goose bumps he got under his touch had nothing to do with the cold. Maybe Obi-Wan didn't notice, or maybe he did and that was the reason he started to withdraw his hand. Anakin prevented it by placing his own hand on his wrist. He couldn't think about anything, only that his flesh ached for more contact. He hoped his eyes conveyed the message that his words couldn't. Obi-Wan seemed to understand, and his strong, rough hand softly caressed his chest up and down. Then, a contented sigh escaped Anakin's lips when he circled the flesh of his nipple with the tip of his middle finger. The sensitive flesh responded to his touch, and Obi-Wan watched enthralled as his own finger rubbed the tip of a hard nipple. Anakin looked at him through half-lidded eyes, and when their eyes met, the atmosphere in the room became rapidly charged with a thrilling and stifling intensity, impossible to resist. Their mouths met swiftly in a passionate kiss.

Anakin yanked Obi-Wan by the collar of his shirt, making the older of the two moan in surprise against his mouth, and drew him towards himself as he fell against the mattress. Obi-Wan's body was above his, but their chests were not touching—much to Anakin's displeasure. Obi-Wan, ever the careful one, hadn't forgotten about his wounds, and so kept a safe distance between their torsos so as not to hurt him. Anakin was in no position to complain, though: Obi-Wan was straddling him, and the evidence of how much he wanted this was pressing against his groin, setting his flesh on fire. The tongue at the roof of his mouth was also good proof of his shared enthusiasm.

Anakin tilted his head to the side, baring his neck to him. That meant he had to break the kiss, but he knew the sacrifice had been worth it as soon as those lips settled on his neck. His beard tickled his skin as he left a trail of kisses down his throat. When the sucking on his neck started, a series of soft and pathetic whimpers kept escaping his lips against his will. He tilted his head to the side a bit more, granting him more access to his skin. His fingers laced into his copper hair as he kept his head on place, not wanting it to leave the crook of his neck any time soon. Then, his eyes found those of Padmé on the picture of the nightstand. He remembered she was supposed to be smiling on that photograph, but all he could see now was a disappointed and reproaching stare. It felt as if he she had caught him cheating on her. He froze.

"No" he said out of breath. "I can't."

Obi-Wan pulled away instantly. "I'm sorry, I got carried away." Anakin closed his eyes, ashamed. He couldn't look at him. Anakin should be the one apologising, not him. But it also felt like treason to apologise in front of Padmé. So he was left at a stalemate. "Please, leave me alone."

"Of course."

As soon as he heard the door closing, he stopped his efforts to hold back his tears. He put on his shirt again, without bothering to change his clothes. He turned around on the bed, not wanting to face Padmé either, and cried until the exhaustion took hold of him.


When he woke up at seven AM, it took him a while to understand why his ribs were hurting so much. Then he remembered the fight. Then he remembered what happened after the fight. Then he groaned. Obi-Wan.

Is he angry with me? He certainly had reasons to be. It was Anakin the one who had started it all. He just... God, he had wanted it so much. Feeling himself the sole focus of Obi-Wan's attention as he tended lovingly to his wounds had made him forget about everything else. He just had wanted him to be closer. But then he saw Padmé's picture, and the guilt came back with force. And then he had asked him to stop. No, he had asked him to leave him alone, for Force's sakes! And poor Obi-Wan had apologised. He fucking apologised. When it had been Anakin's fault. Damn it.

But this was going to happen one day or another. It had just been a matter of when. Many times since they'd started their relationship, Anakin had had to break their kisses when they grew more passionate. The reason for that had only one name: Padmé. Thoughts of her kept creeping up on him at those moments, making him feel impossibly guilty. These thoughts happened at other times too, of course. But in those other occasions, it was easier to conceal it.

The only time he'd attempted something of that nature with him without feeling guilty had been the day he got drunk. A part of him almost wished that Obi-Wan had surrendered to his urges. Because, contrary to what it might seem, Anakin did want to be with him, to truly be with him—Force, how much he wanted it. But he couldn't deny how much Obi-Wan's behaviour had moved him, too. Besides, when that finally happened, he wanted to be in his full senses so as to remember every single detail.

Anyways, he was digressing. What if he thinks that I don't want him? What if... what if he had decided that it was better to end this? Anakin felt nauseous and got up from the bed. He would talk to him at the university as soon as he could.

Wait. Why did the whole flat smell of pancakes all of a sudden?

Anakin exhaled relieved at the sight of Obi-Wan in the kitchen, instead of a thief or a murderer— it then occurred to him that a thief or a murderer wouldn't have wasted their time cooking breakfast. Oh, well.

"Obi-Wan!"

"Hello there." He greeted him with a smile. "Breakfast's ready. I didn't expect you to wake up so soon."

"What—Obi-Wan, what are you doing here? I thought you had gone to your home last night." After I kicked you out my room, he remembered with bitterness.

"No, I slept on the couch."

"But... I don't understand. I thought you'd be angry."

"Angry?" He looked confused. "Why should I be angry?"

"Well..." He blushed. Do I really need to explain it to you? "I mean. Ugh. Because of last night, obviously. I'm sorry I—"

He gave an incredulous sigh. "Now I'm definitely getting angry. It truly offends me that you think so low of me as to believe that I could be angry for something like that."

"No, I didn't mean that! I'm sorry." He chastised himself for having apologised again. Great, Anakin, you're just making everything worse. The tension he had accumulated since last night, added to the exhaustion for not having slept well, made it impossible for him to conceal his vulnerability. He felt his eyes getting moist. "I just don't want you to think that because I... because we haven't..." He sobbed. "I don't want you to think that I don't want this. That I don't want you. I do, Obi-Wan, more than anything! And yesterday, yesterday I just wanted to feel you closer, but then I saw Padmé's picture, and it felt as if I was betraying her, and I—"

"Shh. Please, Anakin, don't cry." Before he knew it, Obi-Wan's arms were around him, holding him in a protective embrace. "I can't take to see you suffer." Anakin hid his face on the crook of his neck, and Obi-Wan felt the heartbreaking tears soaking his skin. "Listen to me very carefully. You're going to stop justifying yourself at once. You don't need to give me any explanation! I already know, my dear."

Anakin sobbed harder. And, not for the first time, he thought he didn't deserve this man. He truly didn't. "I hate this, Obi-Wan. I know she wouldn't have wanted me to be miserable forever, but I can't help feeling guilty, I can't..."

"Shh. I know."

"Do you think she would have understood if she knew?" he asked in a soft murmur after a while. "I mean about us. Together."

He stayed silent while he thought. "Yes" he finally replied in honesty. "I think she would have. But I know that whatever I say to you is not going to ease your pain."

"Then what can I do?" He sounded as his former Padawan self did, so long ago, when he kept asking for the guidance that only his Master could provide him.

"I don't know. I'm sorry, Anakin. I guess this is the kind of wound that only time can heal."

"But what if it never heals?" he asked, frustrated. "And, Obi-Wan...I need you to understand. I do want to be with you, truly be with you. I'm sorry that I freaked out last night, but I swear to you it's not that I don't want you—"

"Anakin." He pulled away slightly from their embrace to gaze intently into his eyes. "I'm going to say this for the last time, and if you ever bring it up again, then I will get angry. I don't care. Do you understand? I don't care about any of that! I mean, of course I would love to cherish you and worship you as you deserve." He smiled lovingly to him, and Anakin felt a pleasant warmth all over his chest. "But that's secondary" he said firmly. He placed a hand over his heart. "This is everything to me, Anakin. I don't need anything else. As long as I can get to be with you in any capacity, I consider myself the luckiest man in the world."

No, he didn't deserve him. He was too good to be true.

He hid his face on his neck again. "Just for the record, I do plan to be ready one day."

He heard Obi-Wan's light chuckle. "But even if you never were, what I said still stands." Obi-Wan placed a gentle kiss on his hair. "I have to leave in one hour. Would you like to have breakfast now?"

"Not yet. Please, just... hold me. Just a bit more."

"Of course, my dear."

As he basked in the comfort of Obi-Wan's embrace, he caught sight of her once more, this time in the picture on the coffee table. He felt incredibly uncomfortable again, but at least this time his brain didn't play tricks on him. She didn't seem to be looking at him with accusing eyes. She was just smiling. Anakin closed his eyes and tried to forget about everything that wasn't the here and now— everything that had nothing to do with those loving arms around him— and, if Obi-Wan noticed the tears that were falling on his neck, he didn't say anything about it. But the grip on his waist tightened in response.