Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men.
A/N: Okay, so any other day this would come at the end of the chapter, but I feel as though I should apologize to you guys for making you wait so long. See, what basically happened was one of my boyfriend's friends broke our laptop and we've had to save up a while to buy a new one. I really hope you guys are able to forgive me for being away for so long, but, sadly, there were just other things on our shopping list that were more important than a new laptop, even with the old being broken. I'm so glad to see that people are still reading and reviewing, though. It makes me so happy to know that people haven't forgotten about my fics and characters (meaning the OCs).
Oh, and to those of who you have been reviewing about my German being off – I'm sorry, but I've been studying German with the free, suckish version of Byki. Yell at them for only teaching the formal stuff, although TBH the reason why I stuck with "Ich liebe Sie" is because – and those of you who have read the prequel will know this – that's what Kurt and Kiara always said to each other in "Blaze" when they said "I love you" in German and I really enjoy the feeling of familiarity I feel with that term and, for me, its just sort of, "their thing", you know?
Again, thank you all so much reading and reviewing. Thank you for the support, and please forgive my long absence and enjoy.
Chapter 12
Kurt teleported into his bedroom and landed on his bed silently. He threw his old high school yearbook on the floor and collapsed on his bed, sighing. He ran his fingers through his hair, groaning loudly as he heard a small, quiet knock on his door. "Who is it?" he said, hoping the person could hear him on the other side of the closed door.
"It's, um, me, Kurt," Kitty said, phasing her head through the bedroom door, and looking worried. "Is it, like, okay if I come in?"
"Of course it is, Kitty," Kurt said, trying his best to smile and failing. She was his best friend, after all.
"So," Kitty said, phasing herself into the room and starting to cross the room. She paused when she saw Kurt's yearbook lying on the floor. "Are you, like, okay?"
"I don't know," Kurt said honestly, running his hand through his hair again. "I'm just hurt, you know, that Bobby would say think those things about me – much less actually say them. To my face."
"Yeah, we all agree," Kitty said. "Bobby was way out of line." She bent down and picked up his yearbook off the floor, and looked back up at him. "I can't believe he actually went in your room and took this without your permission." She fell silent and started flipping through the pages of the yearbook.
Kurt stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. Then a realization dawned on him as a horrible thought entered his head and he said, "Kitty, you do know that I would never have used Kiara – or any other girl – in the way that Bobby was suggesting – or any way for that matter? You do realize that, don't you?"
Kitty sighed and shut the yearbook with loud a snap. She looked up at Kurt, scowling, and said, "Of course I do and honestly, I'm, like, insulted that you would even ask me that."
Kurt stared at her apologetically, feeling both stunned and relieved that he had insulted her somehow. "Well, I'm sorry," he said, "but I just wanted to make sure –"
"Look," Kitty said, sighing as she sat down at his computer desk with the yearbook in her lap. "I didn't want to have to be the one who told you this, but the reason Bobby probably thought that is because some of the younger students and some of the people around town have been saying some...things." She looked away from him as his expression began to change. "You just haven't noticed because you've been so busy worrying about Kiara and Mischa, and working with the Professor to make sure the cops and media know the right stuff."
It took Kurt a moment to register exactly what Kitty was saying, but he still felt as though he had to hear it for himself. "So," he said with an expression that was a mixture of stony anger and mild horror. "What exactly have people been saying?"
"What?" Kitty said, looking up at him, shocked. "You don't seriously want to know, do you?"
"Well, I wouldn't have asked you otherwise," Kurt said, slightly irritated that she was attempting to dodge his question.
Kitty moved her mouth wordlessly for a moment, looking very much as though she wished she had not said anything about the subject. "Its just that," she said, "those people don't know you and – "
"Please, just tell me what they've been saying, Kitty," Kurt said, his expression suddenly pleading. "You know I'm going to end up hearing about it sooner or later anyway. Bayville isn't exactly a large town."
Kitty crossed her arms across her chest and said reluctantly, "Its just that not everyone knows you and not everyone knows the truth about what things were like between you and Kiara. Plus, the tabloids have done a really good job of making you look bad –"
"I was in the tabloids?" Kurt said, looking shocked at this new bit of information. "When was that?"
"I don't know," Kitty said, frowning. "Like two weeks ago, I think. There weren't just news reporters and cameramen in that crowd you spoke to."
"Well, obviously," Kurt said, scoffing, "but people from the tabloids were there – seriously?"
"Only people from the small, desperate ones," Kitty said, nodding. "Most people don't pay much attentions to tabloids, I think, so the reporters will report about, like, anything to get people to buy them."
"What did they say?" Kurt asked her. "The articles, I mean."
"Nothing much, really," Kitty said. "I mean, I don't usually read that garbage, but when I say your picture on the cover..." Her voice trailed off and she shrugged, trying to make it look as though it were no big deal.
Kurt stared at her, impatiently waiting for her to answer his question, which she was clearly trying to dodge again. The two of them sat in silence.
"Anyway," Kitty said when she pretended to have finally noticed his expression almost five minutes later. "They pretty much made it sound like you were a typical teenage boy, looking to score some action, which you weren't, but of course no one bothered writing that. Only it was kind of, like, worse than just that."
"How could be any worse than just that?" Kurt said, looking confused. What could possibly be worse than people thinking he had merely been using Kiara?
"Well, they managed to dredge up Kiara's history and make you look really bad," Kitty said, looking away from him with an apologetic expression. She began to speak more rapidly. "I mean, I don't know how they found out about her dad abusing her – probably from all the old news articles, I guess –"
"And?" Kurt said, interrupting her before she could begin to rant like he sensed she would.
Kitty looked up at him with a sad look on her face. "Did you know," she said, "that eighty-one percent of the people in psychiatric hospitals that suffer from a major mental illness are the victims of physical or sexual abuse?"
Kurt's eyes widened in shock as she said this. "What?" he said. "No, I had no idea the number was so high –"
"And," Kitty continued, "sixty-seven percent of those people were abused as a child."
Kurt stared at her, shocked by this information. "I-I had no idea," he said honestly, looking away from her. "I had no idea that so many people..." He turned his gaze back to Kitty. "What does any of this have to do with Kiara?"
"Basically," Kitty said, swallowing hard, "the article said that if she managed to make it through life without any kind of mental illness or defect, then she was part of an incredibly small and incredibly lucky minority of victims of abuse. Then they made it sound like you were just some jerk who only saw a weak, vulnerable, mutant rape victim that you could use to your advantage, that Mischa the result of that, and that the odds of you having any real feelings for Kiara at that time were probably slim to none, even though a lot of people said it was pretty clear that she had real feelings for you." She looked away from him uncomfortably. "They made it sound like you only wanted her around for one thing and that was it. Like you didn't even care about her feelings, sort of."
Kurt looked away from her in disbelief. He could not believe what he was hearing or that someone would print these things about him. Or that Kiara might be mentally ill in some way. He had never known about the connection between abuse victims and the people who ended up in asylums. It was all just too much to believe. Then a thought hit him and he looked back up at Kitty. "Why wasn't I told about this before now?" he asked her.
"Well, its like I said, Kurt," Kitty said, looking up at him. "Not everyone reads that stuff and none of your friends wanted to tell you once we found out, especially not me. Plus, the professor kind of, sort of told us to, like, not tell you about it. He said you had enough to deal with without having to worrying about stupid rumors, too."
Kurt sighed and got to his feet, shaking his head.
"Where you're, like, going?" Kitty asked as she watched him cross the room.
"To talk to the professor," Kurt said without looking at her. He teleported out of the room.
Kurt landed in the hall outside of Professor Xavier's study silently. He could hear voices coming from inside it – Jean, Scott, Logan, and the professor's. He stood uncertainly for a moment, wondering if he could be interrupting something important. Then he raised his hand to knock on the door and the voices ceased, suddenly.
'Come in, Kurt,' Professor Xavier's voice said loudly inside of Kurt's head as he spoke telepathically.
Kurt nodded and reached for the handle.
When he opened the door, Kurt was surprised to find that other people were also present aside from those whose voices he had heard – Bobby and Rogue were also there.
Kurt closed the door behind him and nodded to Rogue as he crossed the room. She raised her eyebrows at him as he passed.
"Yes, Kurt?" Professor Xavier said as Kurt stood silently in front of his desk. "How can I help you today?"
"Kitty told me about the tabloid articles," Kurt said, his voice empty of all emotion.
"Ah, Kitty!" Jean groaned quietly from her spot on the opposite of the room beside Scott.
Kurt ignored her and went on, "And what people here and around Bayville have buying into and saying about me. And what some people have even been brave enough to say to my face." He shot a dark look in Bobby's direction.
"Kurt," Professor Xavier said, "I want you to know that we all agree that Bobby's behavior was most uncalled for and his punishment was, of course, being taken care of just before you arrived here."
"I'm in charge," Logan said, nodding as he stood beside the professor and the bay window.
"Look," Kurt said, leaning forward and putting his hands down on the desk. "I don't care about how Bobby's being punished. I don't care what he thinks or what anyone else thinks about my relationship with Kiara – if someone who has known me for as long as he or anyone else in this school or has and still decides to believe what some gossip writer decides to say about me over my own word, then I don't want anything to do with them. The same goes for anyone in Bayville. I don't care who they are, but I need to know, professor..." He met the professor's eyes with his own. "Did you know five years ago that there was a chance that Kiara might have had or could have developed some sort of mental illness or – or defect?"
"When we first brought Kiara here," Professor Xavier said, "I knew that there was a chance that her father's abuse of her might have effected her mentally. When I looked into her mind, however, I saw sadness, depression, low self-esteem, anger, hatred even, and a sense of misunderstanding. She was always wondering, wondering why her father did what he did, why he would hurt her that way, why had her life turned out the way it had; with a dead mother and an abusive father, who had died at her own hands. Above all, though, Kurt, do you know what I saw in her?"
Kurt shook his head silently, honestly uncertain of what the professor might say.
"I saw strength in her, Kurt," Professor Xavier said, smiling somewhat fondly at this memory. "There was so much strength in her you cannot even begin to imagine and there were no hints of any mental illness or defect, most surprisingly, except perhaps depression, which is a mental illness several millions of people deal with without ever being abused or neglected by their parents. That is why when we suppressed Kiara's memories from her, I was certain that you would be able to make her feel better."
"But when we had to tell her the truth," Kurt said, feeling somewhat confused, "and her memories returned to her, Kiara was so upset, so depressed." He shook his head, clearing his own confusion. "I had never her seen her that way before, and it was because I wasn't there for her. I wasn't there when she needed me to be."
"There wasn't your fault, Kurt," Scott said, speaking to him for the first time since he had gotten there.
"Yeah, Kurt," Rogue said. "That wasn't anyone's fault but her own. I hate to say it, but she wouldn't let any of us be there for her. I know she must have been confused and upset, but, unfortunately, she brought it all on herself in the end."
"No, she didn't, Rogue," Logan said, causing her to look at him. "We lied to her, remember? We stood there and told her that her dad been a good dad, who didn't deserve to die when we all know damn well that he deserved exactly what he got and worse, and I think she was angry with us and that she deserved to be."
"She was angry with us because we were trying to protect her?" Rogue said angrily, scowling at him.
"You would be, too, Rogue," Jean said with her arms crossed across her chest and a dark look on her face. "You would have been angry with us, too, if we had lied to you and let you spend weeks mourning the man who had abused you and stolen your childhood."
"Professor," Kurt said before Rogue had a chance to respond to Jean's comment. "Is there a chance that Kiara could have developed a mental illness or defect since she found out the truth about her father and since she left?"
"After Kiara regained her memories of her father abusing her," Professor Xavier said, "the possibility of her developing a mental illness became more realistic to me, which is why I had her enrolled in consoling and was attempting to arrange appointments for her with a psychiatrist, but then she was gone within a week of the mansion's rebuilding."
"So there could be something wrong with her now – mentally, I mean?" Kurt asked him.
Professor Xavier stood silently for a moment as though he were picking and choosing his words carefully. "There could be," he admitted after a moment, nodding. "I won't know, however, until I've had a chance to examine her again and with all that she's been through, it could something as simple as depression or something as complex as Dissociative Identity Disorder, although that is incredibly rare."
"Dissociative Identity Disorder?" Kurt said again. The name of the disorder sounded familiar. Ha had heard of it before. He just wasn't entirely sure what it was.
"Yes," Professor Xavier said grimly. "It is otherwise known as Multiple Personality Disorder and it is incredibly rare, though it does seem to have a history of plaguing victims of traumatic childhood sexual abuse. There have been cases of psychiatric patients with the disorder having as many as seventeen different personalities."
Kurt's eyes widened in disbelief as he heard this. He had known what Split Personality Disorder was, despite it being just as rare, but he hadn't even thought it was possible for a person to develop seventeen different personalities. It just didn't seem possible. It seemed like something out of a sci-fi movie. He put his hands together, as though in prayer, and looked at the professor over his fingertips. "If Kiara has something," he said, "a mental illness – can it be treated and how will it effect Mischa?"
"Well, that all depends," Professor Xavier said. "Some mental illnesses can be treated with drugs or therapy, while others remain incurable. Some are genetic and can be passed down to children. Others skip generations or don't get passed down at all, but its like I said, I won't know until I've had the chance to examine Kiara and Mischa."
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head frequently as though in a panic. "Those odds –" he said. "The odds of Kiara being sick – or Mischa, my daughter, being sick –"
"I know that the odds don't look good, Kurt," Professor Xavier said, holding up his hands in an attempt to calm him down, "but you have to remember that Kiara – "
"Is a strong person," Kurt said, nodding as he finished the professor's sentence for him. "She has more strength than I can even begin to imagine, but how often does strength conquer inheritable mental illness in a victim of sexual abuse and an innocent four-year-old?" He shook his head. "We have to find them."
"Kurt," Scott said, "we've been on the outlook for them for almost a month. The police are looking for them and they're all over the news. Just what more exactly do you expect us to do?"
Kurt looked from Scott to the professor and back again. "Use Cerebro," he said simply.
"That won't work, Kurt," Jean said, shaking her head. "Kiara hasn't used her powers for five years and she hasn't used them even once she and Mischa have been on the run. The chances of her suddenly deciding to use them now are not good."
Kurt looked at her and said, "I never said anything about searching for Kiara." He turned his attention back to Professor Xavier. "I want you to search for Mischa instead. Wherever she is, Kiara's bound to be and she's a four-year-old teleporting pyro, who's just started to develop her powers. Chances are that she must be curious and Kiara can't keep her from using her powers one-hundred percent of the time. No one can watch their kid that well. I don't care if their name is Super Mom. Its just not possible."
"You know, he makes a point," Logan said. "Kiara's got to sleep sometime, and who's say to that when she's asleep, little Mischa's not experimenting?"
"Oh, my god," Rogue said quietly as realization dawned on her suddenly and she got to her feet.
"What is it?" Kurt asked her.
"Kurt," Rogue said, looking at him as though he were stupid. "She's a four-year-old teleporting pyro who's just started developing her powers and only has time to experiment when her teen mother is asleep. She could cause an explosion." She started to cross the room. "Come on, Jean, you can use Cerebro. We should have been looking for her signal all this time."
Kurt watched in disbelief as Rogue and Jean left the study hurriedly, taking off down the hall which would lead the way to the Cerebro chamber.
"Kurt," Professor Xavier said, causing Kurt return his attention to him. "If we find them, I don't think it would be a good idea for you to go after them. You may frighten Kiara off and change her opinion of whether or not Mischa staying with you – or even getting to know you for that – is a good idea."
"As long as it seems like they're headed to New York," Kurt said, nodding, "then I won't go after them."
"That's all I can ask," Professor Xavier said as he started to wheel himself out of the room. "Now, if you don't mind, I must go locate Ororo and ask her to help with those fliers you're thinking of distributing once again."
"Yeah," Logan said as he started to move slowly across the room. "And I've got to detention do with this one." He nodded at Bobby, who was still sitting in his chair in front of the professor's desk.
Kurt had completely forgotten he was there.
"Extra Danger Room sessions with yours truly," Logan said, pausing in front Bobby's chair and putting his hand on his shoulder.
Bobby got to his feet and started to follow him out of the room.
Kurt watched the two of them leave of the room, unable to speak, not if knowing he would be able to forgive Bobby for his harsh, untrue, despicable accusations against him. Then he turned and left the room silently.
