Thank you for all the reviews and favorites! :3 I got new computer WOOT. Haha. Now Hopefully there won't be as many spelling errors.

Okay. I'd been thinking about this for a while. I'm doing it. Break from the story and little intervention to introduce Itachi. Haha THIS version of Itachi anyways. He may seem funny as fuck, but you'll get to see underneath his skin a little. Get to see in his head. Love you all!

Itachi POV

Even if you were to forgive me… there's no way I could forgive myself.

Ever.

My eyes opened at the sound of my door opening. As I sat up, I grabbed a kunai and threw it manically at whoever dared enter my room.

I saw it was Kisame and my anger dimmed a little. He was here.

"You're back," I sobbed and threw myself at him.

He caught me, and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

It made me throb with sorrow, knowing that I used to hold little Sasuke this way when he got upset.

Now, I couldn't do that anymore.

"I wasn't gone very long," Kisame said, "Deidara was having… issues."

"W-what do you mean?" I asked. As much as it killed me to even consider caring about someone other than Sasuke, I knew that Kisame cared about him and I wanted to be a part of that. Even if he did take my Kisame away from me.

Kisame almost glared at me.

"He had a seizure."

I was surprised, but Kisame could tell sympathy wasn't striking me. It never did anymore. I had wasted it all on myself and Sasuke. Even if Kisame, my lover, got hurt, I don't know what I'd feel.

"How are you?" he asked casually.

He loved me. I wish I could express that back towards him. Even if only a little.

I looked at him and said, "I want to die."

"You can't die," he replied, picking up my kunai and studying it.

"Yeah." I said.

He didn't know about my plan. He never would, though. Even once it happened, I felt he wouldn't see it as a planned incident.

"I want Sasuke," I cried and laid my head on his lap.

"Explain to him your situation then."

Kisame was so blunt about it all.

No, he could never know.

"It's not healthy to leave him to grow up with so much hatred. Look where's he's ended."

"You mean Orochimaru?" I asked.

He nodded.

"He'll find a way out of that," I said with confidence.

He was my little brother, after all.

"Itachi…" he said.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, "I wish I could go back and say no. You have no idea. I want to show him… But I…"

"Shh," he soothed, "Just stop. I know you're sorry. That's all that matters."

"But Sasuke," I argued, and knew right away it hurt him.

He should be all that matters.

But the screaming started again. I was hurting him, like I'd hurt Sasuke. I could do no right. I was just one body full of hurt that I lash onto others. There was no way to repent now.

I felt the screams escape my throat, the violent trashing starting. I hated this. It was a daily routine, practically.

After a while, Kisame managed to calm me down. We cuddled and I felt the unbearable become bearable as his warmth spread through me. It was always after one of my fits that I felt so comforted by his touch, his love.

"Itachi, I love you."

I wanted to tell him I loved him. But how was I supposed to love when I hurt this much?