Just could not stay away, another one before the year ends. What do you guys think? Too much? It just gets more and more intense. Let me know if you like it or what your thoughts are.
LOSS
Part 3 He is back
A week passed and then another, there was no response back. Go Jin Ah came by to ask for any news, and the general not looking her in the eye, muttered something about the information delay since Dae Man was now deep undercover and that no news was actually a sign of good news, since he was not able to communicate freely any longer. The girl, looking at him with trusting eyes and bowing, thanked him for taking care of her boyfriend.
He collapsed on the chair after she exited, overwhelmed by the sense that something really bad actually happened to his boy. "Dae Man, you punk, don't you want to come back and stick it to me, don't you want to prove that you are the best and want me to beg for your forgiveness? Come on, you little devil, show your teeth, I still have the scars left on my legs, when you used to bite me like a rabid dog! Come on, don't you disappear, let me know you are OK, just to spite me, ah?" Talking out loud, like a crazy person, Daejan was actually looking at the window, where the agile figure of the young man was seen last.
Another week passed. At night, if he managed to get a shuteye, he was haunted by the image of Dae Man captured and tortured, his body jerking in agony, poked by fire sticks, his screams ringing in the general's ears. There was nobody to console him when he woke up yelling and the space next to him was empty as always.
Something very important broke inside of him and he fell into a very deep depression, practically overnight. He did not come out of his room and refused to eat. Choong Seok came by to report daily; and the general stared at him blankly lying on his bed, hearing, but not paying attention.
"Sir, we sent a couple of people who are originally from the North to scout under the pretence of visiting their families. There are no traces of Dae Man's presence. It is as if he disappeared into the thin air. There are no rumors of captured spies and at the target's house the business is as usual. The son supposedly went on a hunting expedition, but they could not find out the name of the guide. Let's hope that Dae Man is with him."
"Choong Seok-ah," he whispered weakly, "if he is dead, I can not live."
"General, you can not continue like that, if the High Doctor were here…"
"But she is not here, is she? Do you see her anywhere?" And he lifted his weakened body off the bed looking around with eyes raging with madness, mocking something or somebody: "here?" - he lifted the blanket, or "there" and he looked under the bed, "maybe over there" and he pointed behind the folding screen, and a sobering sigh escaped from his lips. The crazy light in his eyes went out; the glimpse of the man behind the madness showed in his gaze. "My friend, I think I'm losing my mind. If Dae Man is gone, then what do I have left? I found him in the mountains, wondering like a wild animal, I fed him and took care of him, I brought him with me, because I thought that he would be better off here, under my care and protection. He is like a son to me, I watched him grow up. And now… I don't know when Imja comes back, but when she does, how am I going explain to her that I let my boy die after I never had a chance to say 'I'm sorry.' He knew before everybody that I was waiting for her, my sweet boy." And his head dropped, while a lone tear slid down his cheek.
"Sir, you still have me," and the assistant general put his strong hand on the general's shoulder. "We have been through a lot together, we'll survive this one, too." Choi Young placed his palm on top of the man's with gratitude.
"The way I'm now, I did not think it was possible, but for a minute there, my mind was gone. I can't lose my sanity."
"I don't want to believe he is gone, either, but he knew what he signed up for when he took on the mission."
A few more days passed, and Choi Young's grief ate at his flesh, leaving him with sunken eyes and cracked bluish lips. His body lost half of its usual weight; his strength is gone. He did not bother access his KI to bring himself back to life. The morale in the barracks was at the lowest, with the soldiers wondering why the general is so sick that he can not even come out to talk, and even more surprisingly, they did not see any doctors visiting him. Rumors that he contracted a lethal disease, which was rapidly killing him, spread. He refused an order to attend an audience with the king, and the letter of concern sent by the queen was left unanswered.
Mourning his loss, Choi Young obsessively regurgitated all the details of the times he spent with Dae Man. Everybody else believed him dead, but he could not accept it. Dae Man was not the type to get himself killed that easily. However, if he were to be discovered…
"Imja, I don't think I can bare it any longer," he cried out.
"Then go and bring him back, what are you waiting for?" He heard what he thought was her voice and looked back into the direction it came from. Instead of Eun Soo, his aunt stood at the entrance to his room. Her face - stern as usual, not a glimpse of sympathy or concern.
"I came to pick up your body, I was told you are like dead, anyway."
"Aunt?" he did not expect her to show up.
"Moping around? she shook her head, "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Skin and bones. Look at what you've become," and she shoved a mirror into his face. She pushed him off the bed and he fell as if his legs stopped working. She kicked him in the side, "Get up, you had enough time to lounge." And when he slowly rose, using a table as support, she untied his belt and pulled his tunic off, mumbling "Look at him, all dirty. Ooo, the stench!" "Clean yourself," she ordered.
"Why?"
"You smell, that's why. Hurry up, I haven't got all day."
And for some unknown to him reason, he did as he was told. Just like when he was a kid, her way of dealing with the stubborn boy, worked like magic. Her brand of tough love was perfectly suited for Choi Young's personality.
When he returned, changed into the fresh clothes she prepared for him, she stuck a comb into his hair, and harshly pulling through the knots, brushed his grown out mane. He sat there, obediently taking the abuse, finding pleasure in the pain she delivered to actually feel something else, besides the cold grief.
"Eat," and she pushed a spoonful of porridge into his mouth. "Chew."
She fed him the whole bowl and then placed a cup into his hand. "Drink."
The food warmed up his stomach and he immediately felt a burst of energy.
"Thank you," he uttered under his breath.
"You are welcome," she answered softly. "Can I leave you alone now?"
"I'll be fine." Still getting acquainted with his body, which was bedridden for a while, he moved his legs, as if learning to walk again, dragging himself outside the confines of his room for the first time in many days.
He found Go Jin Ah at the clinic; the poor girl did not look too good. She also lost some weight and her red eyes showed signs of crying. "Jin Ah-shi," he called. She turned, hopeful, and her face fallen right away. He did not come with the good news. "I am going to find him."
"General, everybody thinks he is dead. I don't know what to think, but I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I might have lost him. Please, don't give me false hope… I understand. Dae Man was a Woodalchi, I know what it means." She said 'was', like she already accepted.
"I need to ask for his forgiveness and he would not die before he hears it from me, I know him, he is proud like that and stubborn."
"I forgive you in his stead. If he were here now, I believe he would as well. It's all water under the bridge," she said sadly.
"If I do not bring him back to you, then it means that I'm dead." And he turned around and walked, with his back straight, his gait steady, and his strides, long and confident. The general was back.
