[A/N Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I haven't been home in about four days but I got a break! I'm going to warn you; this is not a funny chapter. It's not funny at all. But I love it to deathums! Edward talks paraphs, so don't just skipp over it. That's the best part. And I finally know where I'm going and how to end it! (sort of) It's in thrid person by the way. Well, enjoy
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"Okay Bella, We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."
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"Idon't understand." Bella stuttered, bewildered at the serious look on Alice's face.
"Bella, you can't keep doing this. I know you love my brother." Alice stated very matter-of-factly.
"Wh-what? I... I don't... who said I love your brother! I mean, I'm not even sure if I like him! I... I mean of course I like him but... well that's what I've been trying to not... I justwhat?"
"Bella Just admit it. The sooner you figure it out the sooner you can get this over." Alice was now leading Bella towards the car. Edward was still in the mall paying for the day's purchases.
"Get What OVER! You're saying very vague things Alice. First you bring me here and tell me to do my worst, then... then this! I don't understand."
"Calm down Bella. Take a deep breath.. I'll go slowly for you."
Bella's mouth twitched in agitation.
"You don't have to go slow for my sake just say what you were going to say."
"As I said before, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way." Alice held up a hand to silence Bella's next question. "You can either admit that you love my brother and give this job up and tell him everything. Or you can go through with this and keep on eating your insides whenever you screw with Edward for five more days.. Your choice."
"I...I..." Bella's face was pure shock. She didn't know how to respond to Alice's very clear demands.
Alice sighed. "You need to recognize that you at least like Edward." She crossed her arms and leaned against a column in the parking garage.
Bella just stood there like what Alice was saying was all a dream.
"You're doing this against your will. I see it in your eyes and... your posture and everything about you. Every fiber in your being is screaming to stop the madness. So choose! Easy or hard."
The way she said it, it sounded like life or death.
"I can't choose. I mean... it's... I need to sleep on it." Bella mumbled.
"How…?Ugh... if you don't make a choice, I'll make it for you. I'll tell Edward myself. Look he's coming right now." Alice pointed off in the distance. Bella couldn't see a speck. "If you don't decide now, I'll happily explain the whole thing to him." Alice smiled a wicked smile.
Edward came into view with a dozen large bags in his arms.
"Shoot. Another reason to love Edward. He can carry large loads of shopping sprees without breaking a sweat! This isn't fair." Bella thought as Alice hummed the Jeopardy song making Bella nervous and jittery.
She looked desperately at Alice. She couldn't just do something like that. This was a major decision. Alice was being very unreasonable. Bella knew that there really wasn't an option. That Alice would have her way whether Bella agreed to it or not.
Did she really like Edward? Yes. Did she love Edward…?Yes. But would he accept her after all that she did to him? She couldn't say. And that was the reason she didn't pick the easy way. The right way. She was afraid that Edward wouldn't take her when she explained everything. The only reason he hadn't broken up with her was because of the bet he made. She didn't want to make herself vulnerable. Bella was used to the psychotic façade she put on that she thought she wouldn't be comfortable to take off her mask and show what she really is. But if this was out of the way; if there was no doubt that Edward would embrace her in, she would have told Edward everything right then and there.
But there was doubt.
"Edward, I have to tell you something." Alice grinned and Bella paled.
"No! I... I've chosen."
Alice slowly turned to Bella. A far way look entered her eyes and she pouted.
"I... I like challenges... but I've been through enough already. I'm tired and I can't try any harder." Bella blushed when Edward eyed the both of them curiously. He dropped the bags and pulled out his keys. He had managed to break her chains. No one ordinary and fickle could do that.
"Do I want to know?" He asked in a wary voice and opened the trunk of his car.
Alice sighed. "It's not up to you… or me."
"Then I won't pry." He smiled warmly at the two crazy girls but curiosity was carved in his perfect eyebrows.
Bella just felt evenworse. "I'm a masochist. I need help. Professional help." She mentally banged her head against the wall. "He won't take me after what I've done to him. But I'm terrified of him breaking up with me. I… I love him. More than I thought I did. I love him more than I thought was possible… I'm so weird."
They were driving now and Bella leaned against the window.
"Are you all right Bella? Are you feeling any better?" Edward's concerned voice ripped the chains that had been guarding her heart. She was tooemotionally tired to put them back up.
"I'm fine Edward. I'll be okay. Another," (Yawn)," headache. It's been a long day."
"No kidding." Edward said under his breath.
Bella nuzzled closer to the glass and rubbed her arms. Edward noticed this and turned up the heater.
Bella yawned again. "I'm sorry Edward. I'm so so sorry." Her eyes drooped as she sank deeper into the door.
"What are you sorry for?" He questioned in a low stale voice.
Before Bella could answer she drifted off into unconsciousness. Alice smiled in the back seat keeping to herself.
Edward looked at Bella with a pained look.
"This is all wrong Alice." He whispered so he wouldn't stir Bella.
"What is?" She spoke to him in his mind.
"I... I think..." He couldn't finish and hung his head.
"You think you love her?" Alice was physically and mentally beaming.
"I don't know what I think." He whispered exasperated, leaning his forehead against the steering wheel. If vampires could have migraines, Edward would be the first. "She's been so... cruel today. And absurd the other days. The reason I am still able to think of Bella with goodness in my heart and mind astounds me. I'm being very blunt when I say that she doesn't deserve my forgiveness. She's berserk, cracked, deranged, erratic, haywire, irrational, unreasonable, bizarre, insane, ludicrous, nonsensical, ridiculous, peculiar, loony, demented, mental and all around odd. No. She doesn't deserve my patience; but there is a part of me screaming that she deserves everything I have to offer her. I don't now what to think." He shook his head trying to clear the mixed emotions floating around.
"The mere image of her has my dead heart revived to life; The sound of her... normal voice perks my ears to that music and tunes out all other noise; The mention of her name has me jumping about; the patter of her feet makes me smile and sing along with the beat; the memories of her have me laughing like I haven't laughed in decades; the idea that the girl that was shown today was the real Bella, is as impractical as that character that haunted Bella this afternoon. Oh Alice. What has come over me? My rational side is becoming irrational and my ussual irrational side is becoming what I trust." Edward threw his hands up in the air.
"Love is irrational." Alice slipped in.
"Then does that mean that all rash thoughts are correct and all sensible thinking is fanatical? The world doesn't seem like it has changed but my perception of it has completely differed. I don't see things as there once were. Roses are still redthe trees are still brown and green. But they're more than that. They are ingenious. They grow into works of wonder. They have beauty that I've never seen before. That tire on the road isn't just a tire to me anymore. It says that it had a long run and has seen many things. It was crafted by masters. Its done its job and has worked splendidly till the last minutes. That bird in the sky isn't just a fowl. It's a being that can soar wherever it wants to go. He is free from all ties and binds that we know. The sky is his home and he only has to choose what ingenious tree to rest in. The wind is his lungs and his wings are his breath. Humans aren't just beings that we try to save from ourselves. They are hardworking master pieces. Each one of them has his own story to tell, pages to read, pasts to understand. They aren't merely humans, or mortals. They are life and without them, there is nothing. Without Bella, my Bella there is emptiness. For over one hundred years I thought I was complete. I was wrong. I never realized the space I had in my heart until Bella opened it. She has filled every inch of that space. If she was to ever slip through my fingers I would go through this life of ours with that space cleared out and only reserved for her. The emptiness would be maddening! It would not only swallow my undead heart but my very being! But at least I would know that there is hope and pure unaltered beauty in this world after all."
Edward sighed, smiled to himself and looked over at the sleeping Bella. He caressed her blushing warm soft face with his cold hard pale finger. He sighed in contentment. Then sadness and determination crept into his chiseled features. "She has unlocked my heart that I didn't even know was cautious." He sighed. "And she must never know."
"Why?!" Alice busted out. If she were human she would have been crying her eyes out silently through Edward's confessions.
"Because of what I am. What we are. I know enough that it isn't wise to be with a human long-term and I love Bella enough not to risk it." He stated looking at the road.
"But... what if she loves you just the same!" Alice cried but Edward put a hand to her mouth and a single finger in front of his, signaling to be quiet. He pointed to Bella, who shifted in her slumber.
"That's impossible." He whispered. "Her abnormal acting is proof enough that she is trying to get rid of me. She is right in doing so even if she doesn't understand the full reason. I can never be with her because of what I am. It's dangerous just to be in the same car with her. Because I love her, I will leave her. It's what she wants anyway." He reassured himself.
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After Edward woke Bella up gently, led her into the house and carried her shopping bags into the house with a note he slipped in one of the bags spelling out his retirement from their relationship, he drove home humming his favorite piano music. But they all turned into minor keys and then he stopped breathing all together.
Alice didn't ride with Edward back to the house. She decided to run. She wanted to tell Edward. She wanted to tell him everything. Alice ran over in her head what she would have said. "Bella didn't want to get rid of you... well... sort of... but not really. It was for a job. It's all fake. She just wanted you to dump her, she's not crazy. She had a reason. Oh Edward why are you doing this to yourself?"
She arrived at the house earlier than Edward. Once she stepped through the door Jasper was immediately at her side.
"What's wrong?" Concern was streaming off of him. He had picked up on Alice's distress immediately.
"Edward." Alice stated.
"What's wrong? Is he hurt? Is Bella okay? Did something happen to Bella?"
Alice shook her head, answering all those questions. Japer wrapped his arms around Alice's tiny waist. He wanted to know what was wrong with Edward. The whole family was in the room now.
Alice took a deep breath. "Edward is in love; a love he's telling himself can never happen."
"But I've seen the future and it isn't what Edward has in mind."
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[A/N Muahahaha! Okay I know it's sad. But you have to admit that it's better than Bella acting like a retard or all those adjectives Edward said. I'll hopefully update again today… maybe. I love you guys to deathums! But only if you review!
Oh I realized that I didn't put bellaslilsis's idea in the last chapter… I'm sorry about that. It kind of slipped my mind. But you still get to keep the invisible trohpy!
I might cook up a new contest… you guys seemed to really enjoy that. Okay peace!
-Rosalie
