CHAPTER TWELVE
Annie awoke suddenly, she wondered what woke her up so early in the morning. Than everything from the previous day flashed through her mind, she turned and looked at Silver's steady blue eyes – which were just simply staring at her. "Silver," She whispered, unsure of what emotion that she should share with Silver.
"Thanks." Silver said, she pulled away from Annie and sat up. "I didn't mean to make you drop everything." She said in a high stiff voice, Annie could tell she was trying to sound normal – but was unsuccessful at it.
Annie sat up, reached over and put her hand on her best friend's right shoulder, Silver tensed up. "Talk to me," She said in a soft voice.
"There isn't anything to talk about." Silver said pulling away and standing to her feet.
"Actually there is, what I saw yesterday scared me shit less." Annie said after she had paused for a few minutes – she had looked incredibly at Silver's stiff back, as Silver was moving around getting her stuff together.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to waste your time." Silver said as she turned around and faced her friend, her mask had become un done.
Annie held her breath and waited for Silver too continue, but it deeply sadden her when Silver quickly threw her mask up – the mask of denial and rebellion. "Look, I have tons of stuff to do today. So I won't have time to hang out with you. So you understand." She looked with one eye raised.
Annie nodded. Standing to her feet. "Just know that I'm here for you, Silver, always. No matter what happens, I'll never abandon you."
Silver stepped back and locked herself tightly up.
"I love you." Annie whispered as she stared at the wild gap between her and Silver.
Silver stood stocked still, like a deer in headlights. Annie walked up and saw Silver shrink backwards, she turned and left the room. She walked into the living room too find Kelly sitting on the chair, "Have you gotten any sleep last night?" She walked over and put a hand on the older woman's right shoulder.
"Not really." Kelly said with a sigh, she looked up into Annie's emotional brown eyes.
"Silver doesn't want me here any longer, so I'm just going to leave. I'll call for a ride outside," Annie turned her head back towards the hallway, "I don't want to hurt Silver any more."
Kelly stood up and felt Annie's hand leave her shoulder, she quickly pulled the younger girl into her for a comforting hug. "It's going to be all right, Annie, Silver will be fine. Now that she has you in her life. She'll make it to the other side …."
"I'll be there waiting with open arms." Annie whispered as she tighten the hug for another moment, she pulled away and stepped back. "I better go now."
Kelly nodded and watched the young teen leave her home, the door closing softly behind her. She felt the warm tears roll down her checks. She knew that her sister had a long hard road to go down before she would reach the other side of this breakdown. She just prayed that Silver was strong enough to survive it.
Annie walked around and looked in the bay window, into the living room. She saw Kelly still sitting where she had just left her, with tears rolling freely down her checks. She had the urge to burst back into the cottage, and never leave again. She truly felt that if she walked away now than neither Tyler sister would be left standing. She made to turn around, but her feet remained planted. She tried to send messages that she had to get back inside, but she could only close her eyes, breath deeply for several seconds. Her eyes opened again, and finally her feet obeyed her messages, she turned back around. She walked too the door – her hand out reached to touch it, when suddenly her feet turned towards the steps that led towards the sidewalk. With tears steaming down her checks, Annie Wilson stepped down the first step – than the second – she kept walking until she got too the end of the driveway.
She turned and started to run full speed away. Away from Silver. Away from all that was insanity.
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Author's Note: This chapter is all pretty much all in Annie's pov, I know that Silver will seem way off here – but I will come back to the aftermath of her breakdown when I center the story around her again, I promise. But, I have sadly been staring at this chapter for three weeks now; trying to get Annie to the place that I need her too be – so I can move forward with the story (Annie is just so hard to write for now, because my forces is on Silver, but this story is a Annie centric story also.)
Annie sighed in annoyance as Silver wrapped herself around Dixon's back. She watched as her best friend leaned sideways, and tossed her hair as she smiled huge into her brother's face. Silver was acting like nothing had happened, she had been acting like that for a week now. Not once had Silver come to her and talked to her, to confide in her. Silver was acting like everything was fine with the world.
But, Annie didn't buy it; not one moment. How could she, when she had been the only one that Silver had allowed to be close to her – when she had actually felt Silver's soul the day of her breakdown. When she had ….. sighing, Annie turned away from the sight. It wasn't her place to force Silver to deal. That would be the sure way of making Silver run away from her – locking her completely out of her life and soul. Annie couldn't allow that to happen.
Silver depended on her to be her life line, and Annie would not fail.
"Hey girlfriend." Ethan said leaning against the locker next to Annie. They had openly declared their love for one another, Naomi had been hurt and pissed – but she had come to realize that Ethan had finally moved on. So Naomi let her anger go – just recently. Ethan was happy that Naomi seemed to be maturing and allowing him to move on, that didn't mean that he wouldn't be there for her – at a moments notice – but that truly their feelings for one another were that as friends – perhaps down the line brotherly and sisterly (which would be weird seeing how they had sex in their passed).
"Hey boyfriend." Annie said in a automatically voice. She shut her locker shut and leaned into his chest. She rested her head against his rock solid chest. She felt comforted when he wrapped his arms around her.
Ethan leaned down and kissed her check, moving so he could capture her mouth with his. Slipping his tongue deep into his mouth (after she turned to wrap her arms tightly around him), he explored her mouth, capturing her scent and taste.
Annie closed her eyes and saw Silver in her minds eye – it was Silver whom arms she was wrapped in. Silver who's chest she was pressing herself tightly too – it was Silver's mouth on hers – Silver's tongue deep in side her mouth. It was Silver's strength that was holding her up – as all she wanted to do was sink to the ground. It was Silver's scent and taste she was craving and taking into herself.
"Get a room!" A voice shouted out and than cat whistled.
Ethan pulled away and glared at George who was making humping motions with his body.
Annie opened her eyes as she felt Silver's mouth from hers – she blinked as she realized it was Ethan's arms that she was in – it had been Ethan whom had kissed her so passionately and longly. It was Ethan whom wanted her – she felt tears sting her eyes.
Ethan looked down into Annie's shining eyes, "Hey, don't listen to 'em." He said gently wiping her right check where a tear slowly rode down. "They are just jealous is all."
Annie wanted to shout that she wasn't crying because of George's stupid comment, no, she truly was crying because he wasn't Silver. That she wanted the public display and cat calls with Silver – just Silver. But, she looked over Ethan's shoulder and saw Silver and Dixon staring at her with eyes wide, Silver even had a impressed look in her eyes – a look that clearly said that she thought of Annie as a friend – just a friend. So Annie locked up her true feelings; in the deepest reaches of her heart. She shut the door and turned the key, "I don't give fig what anyone says about our public display of our feelings for one another." She said wrapping her notebook, and book tightly against her chest – as she looked up dreamily (thank God she's a good actress) into Ethan's brown ones.
Ethan leaned down and gently kissed her nose, "Me either, love." He murmured. "I could get lost in those brown eyes of yours."
Annie felt horrible as she realized that Ethan was truly falling in love with her, and she didn't share his feelings for him. How could she? When her heart and soul were solely Erin Silver's. That there wouldn't be another person for her; expect for Silver. She opened her mouth to tell Ethan the truth, that there would no chance for them – when what was going over his right shoulder caught her attention.
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Dixon felt Silver move away from him, he turned away from the sight of his sister making time with her boyfriend, to look concernedly in his girlfriend's eyes. He was concerned as he watched as she withdrew even more deeply into herself – she had been like this for a week now. Ever since the day that Annie had spent the night at her place. He didn't know the full story – all he knew was that Annie and his mom had ended up at Silver's place together – and Annie had stayed the night.
"I gotta get to class – can't be late." Silver said starting to back away.
Dixon reached out and grabbed her arm, preventing her from leaving. "We have time, Silver." He said softly moving forward once more. He looked deeply into her eyes, "Stay with me."
"I can't." She breathed out … than seeming to realize what she said, she took a deep breath and tried to jerk his hand off of hers, but too no success. "Dixon, I truly mean it, I have to get to class."
"We have time." He repeated as he stepped closer to her, "Stay with me."
She shook her head.
"Why not?" He demanded in a low steady voice. His gripe tightening on her arm.
She remained silent, looking at his hand on her arm.
"Silver, baby." He pleaded as he bent down and gently nuzzled her neck. He felt her shiver and than stiffen. He was still getting to her – he still had a chance to reach her. He brought his free hand and cupped the other side of her neck and just held it still. "I love you." He moaned softly in her neck, just slightly underneath her ear.
Silver began to shake, she couldn't control it. She knew that she was quite safe in Dixon's arms, that he would never hurt her. That once he had his fill of her – than he would let her go. But, than he said those words. Those words that were cursed to her. She couldn't stop the shaking or the fear any more.
Dixon quickly lifted his head and saw the fear. He quickly pulled her into a tight hug. Her arms stayed at her side and she was stiff as a board, but the shaking had stopped.
"Get your hands off of her, Dixon – you are just making it worse." Annie hissed behind him.
Dixon refused to move away from Silver – he refused to let his girlfriend – his soul mate go. He had to be the strong one for her – he had to protect her from whatever she was afraid of. "Dixon, I said let her go. Now!" His sister's voice hissed in his ear, and he felt her arms on him – suddenly he was torn away from Silver.
"Silver," He breathed out as he watched Silver back away from him. "Baby," He felt tears fall as she turned and bolted from him.
Annie swung around and faced her brother head on, a dark look on her face. "How could you do that to her?"
"I wanted her to know that I love her and will always be there for her." He cried out banging against the locker hard.
"How dare you try to force the issue …." Annie spat out, anger making her face grow warm – her body tensed and stiff. "How dare you hurt Silver like this."
"I was trying to break through." Dixon spat out, running his right hand on top of his head in frustration. "She had locked herself so deep inside her for a month now, that if she doesn't find a way to break out, or even let the wall down enough for someone to get through, than I'm afraid that she may be lost."
"But forcing her into feeling something again, isn't the way to do it." Annie waved her right hand, "Especially in the crowded hallway of West Beverly High. My God Dixon, I thought you were smarter and more sensitive than that."
"You guessed wrong." Dixon breathed. He banged his head against the locker. "Shit."
Annie laid a hand on her brother's chest, "You meant well, Dixon. If it was any other situation – than perhaps you may have stood a chance." She reached up and wiped the tears from her brother's chin.
"What happened to her, what has happened to my baby?" He kept whispering over and over again.
Annie leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her brother, leaning into his chest, she allowed her own tears to fall. She felt him lean down and rest his head on top of hers. "She had a breakdown." She whispered.
Dixon's heart broke at his sister's words – he had suspected – but he didn't want to believe it – not until he heard the words from his sister's mouth. He tighten his hold on his sister.
Harry sighed deeply as he watched his children hold onto one another. He had been walking the halls when the final bell rang – when he had spotted them in a heated discussion. He was going to go to them and remind them that they had classes to attend – but, his soul told him to leave them till they were finished. He leaned against the wall and kept a sharp eye on them – and ready to head off any teacher that decided to interrupt them. When Annie had pulled herself tightly into Dixon's arms, he knew that she had finally told Dixon that Silver had a breakdown.
His eyes finally left his children, when he felt other eyes watching them also. Harry turned his head and saw Silver staring at the brother and sister from just five feet away from where he was standing. He watched as she stared with steady blue eyes – she turned and looked at him face on. But, it was like she didn't see him – he knew that she didn't. So he was able to look her fully in the eyes; the first time since her breakdown. What he saw broke his heart. There wasn't even a trace of the Erin Silver that he had come to know and love (as one of his own children).
Gone was the light in Silver's eyes – gone was the openness, gone was the life that blazed throughout Erin Silver's soul through her eyes. In place was just deadness – no light, no life, nothing. Just things that you would normally see in the soldiers back from wars.
Silver turned and walked away – back straight and head up. Harry sighed as he turned back to look at his children – neither one of them had noticed that Silver had witnessed them comforting one another. His eyes turned to the left and he saw that Kelly hadn't missed anything either, he walked over and stood next to his friend.
"It will just keep getting worse – until Silver trusts someone enough to finally break." Kelly said not taking her eyes off the Wilson's siblings.
"What can I do to help?" Harry asked in a soft voice looking at the side of her face.
"Just understand." Kelly said finally turning to look at Harry, "Whatever Silver does, just understand where she is coming from." Her jaw tighten, "I'm not asking you to look the other way when she deliberate misbehaves during school hours. I'm just asking you to understand, when you are dealing out the punishment."
"You know I consider Silver as one of my own -" Harry sighed deeply, "But even with Annie and Dixon, I can't turn my head – not when the well fell of my school is at hand. I'm the principal for crying out loud. I have to answer to the school board." He sighed in slight frustration and deep worry. "They would recommend an psychiatrist?"
"She won't go." Kelly said in a firm voice.
"What a family one? I mean if you can get your mom, and Mel to go. Than perhaps ..." Harry's voice died away at the look in Kelly's eyes. He put a hand on her arm, "I'm sorry Kelly."
Kelly sighed, "Mom and Mel would just kill one another. That wouldn't be good for Silver. They would just fight over how Silver turned out, blaming one another for Silver living with me. They would do more harm in their anger with one another; than good."
"How about you and Silver go to a psychiatrist together – that way you two can work out your feelings over your mom's drunk and drinking addiction. That way Silver knows she's not alone in feeling lost and helpless concerning your mom." Harry said in a steady voice.
Kelly shook her head, "Silver isn't ready to deal yet." With that she stepped away from Harry, "I'm sorry, but I have a meeting." She smiled sadly and walked back towards her office.
Harry sighed and turned back to his children. It was time to remind them to get to their classes. They couldn't miss a chance to learn after all. He walked up to them, "Kids, here's a late pass." He handed each of them a pass.
"Thanks daddy." Annie said wiping her tears off her checks, and taking the pass at the same time.
"Thanks dad." Dixon said standing tall and straight. Annie had managed to wipe all his tears from his checks. He took the slip and turned and walked down the hallway, his head shoulders bent and head lowered.
"He's not going to handle this well, is he daddy?" Annie asked leaning into her father's side. She felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her tighter against her.
"He's lost, he knows that Silver is in pain. It hurts him that she doesn't allow him in to help her." Harry said softly. He looked down at his daughter's up turned face. "He's in love with her, she's the singer of his soul – he would do anything for her, it hurts him that she doesn't allow him in."
Annie's spirit died. She pulled away from her father, "I'm all ready late, I don't want to be later." With a sad wave, she turned and walked down the hall.
Harry sighed deeply and headed to his office.
END CHAPTER TWELEVE
