Title: Losing is Never Easy
Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.
Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.
[Note: If you read this to Munou by österreich (Tokyo Ghoul √A Opening) it gives a more saddened feel. If you really wanna go for the tear, then read to it~!]
Chapter 12: Holding and Hurting
The first thing that hit Izaya was how incredibly sore he felt, from his stomach and back area, to his hand. He also felt incredibly empty and light as well, something he hadn't felt since six months ago. With a struggling moan, crimson eyes met florescent lights, to observe his surroundings. He remembered being under Shinra's care, but things seemed to pass by in a blur, probably because he was under heavy dosages of medicine. But how much time had passed by?
Hushed whispers caught his attention immediately; Izaya's curiosity grew ever more, but his body urged him to rest. He let out a soft sigh, and looked down at himself, noting that his tummy decreased in size. Did he have the baby already? That would explain why he felt empty and hurt in that area. Observing more of his surroundings, Izaya noticed a seat by his bed, reached out to touch it and mused lightly. A vest was thrown over the back of the chair, and the seat was still warm. Shizuo must have been by his side until a while ago.
"Izaya."
The raven looked over to his old friend and Celty around the corner. The headless fairy typed something on her phone and flashed it to Izaya.
[How are you feeling? You slept for two days.]
"I'm fine. Where's Shizu-chan?"
"Shizuo went out for something to eat a while ago." Shinra explained, taking the seat Shizuo was just in. "Izaya, there's something you should know about Tsugaru."
Izaya's face scrunched up. "Why are you telling me this? It's only Shizu-chan's now. Not mine."
Shinra and Celty looked at each other, and with a sigh Shinra decided to continue. "You shouldn't forget Izaya, no matter how hard you'll try to repress the memory you were pregnant for six months, a piece of you is still in the baby. But it may not be long. I've done all I can."
"What's wrong with it?" Izaya asked, showing minimal worry.
"It's about 3 months premature, and can't breath or provide heat on its own. I've hooked him up to a breathing machine and placed him in an incubator; but thing's aren't looking up for the little guy." Shinra admitted with a sigh. "Hopefully with the shots I'm giving him, will provide and make up the rest of what he's missing in order to grow. I want to keep him away from any germs as well. However, if you or Shizuo want to ho-"
"I'm not touching that thing." Izaya interrupted holding his arms, and diverting his gaze elsewhere. "I don't want to hear anything else anymore concerning it."
Celty typed on her PDA. [But Izaya, Tsugaru is your child as well. Why wouldn't you show concern for him after all of this time? Are you that cruel, as to deny your own child?]
"Celty."
The headless dullahan looked at her lover as he shook his head. "Well Izaya, we'll leave you alone then. You'll be able to leave the day after tomorrow when your wound heals."
Celty tried to fuss at Shinra as he escorted her out, asking her politely to calm down. He didn't miss the unreadable face Izaya was sporting, and wasn't sure how Izaya was going to react. He would protect Celty at all cost, but he also wouldn't be able to keep Izaya at bay in case he broke down from this.
A punch in the gut brought Shinra out of his thoughts. Doubled over he looked at the PDA thrust in his face, along with Celty's angry movements. "I took you out of there to protect you from Izaya. I don't think we need to say anymore."
[Protect me from Izaya? I'm clearly capable of handling myself Shinra.]
"I didn't mean to call you weak…But, in Izaya's state, he could say something that could hurt you." Shinra placed a hand on Celty's shoulder and brought her in for a hug. "Let me handle Izaya."
Celty made small movements and nodded as the smoke puffed into the air. Celty grabbed her helmet and signaled she was going out for a while. Shinra nodded. "Be careful."
Celty quickly walked out the apartment, completely missing someone who had been watching in the whole time. Plastic bags rustled a bit, along with a low sigh.
"I long for a relationship like that." Shizuo muttered to himself with a melancholic smile on his face. Quickly pushing the thoughts back, he made a normal entry when Shinra spotted him.
"Welcome back Shizuo. I guess you came in when Celty did."
"Yeah. Here's some food." Shizuo lifted the bags. "Is Izaya up yet?"
"Before you go see him, Shizuo, I already told him Tsugaru's condition." The blond remained silent. "Could you convince Izaya to hold Tsugaru once in case-"
"Don't say it." Shizuo gripped the bags tightly. He didn't want to think about his son dying prematurely. "I'll do what I can."
Shinra nodded and adjusted his glasses. "Go shower, I went and got you some clean clothes. I'll go judge whether Tsugaru can be held for a while and see if he can feed as well."
"Izaya. Oi, Izaya. Wake up."
The raven opened up his eyes slowly to see Shizuo hovered over him. He felt himself warm up a bit, and scowled at the blonde. He wasn't happy to see him. Not at all! "Seeing your gross face is such an unwelcoming sight."
"Can it flea." Shizuo grumbled jabbing Izaya in the head one good time then pointed to the curtain that separated Izaya from the rest of the room. "Shinra is gunna let Tsugaru out for a little so we can hold him for a bit."
Izaya turned his head. "I don't want to hold it."
"He's a boy, Izaya. Just once? It won't hurt to hold him for a second." Shizuo egged on.
"I said no. I'm tired." Izaya hissed. "Besides, I thought you said once I gave birth to it that we'd be done with each other? I've done my part, now do yours."
"I said to hold him damnit!"
"I said I'm tired!" Izaya jumped a little as his stomach began to hurt a little bit. "I'm still recovering, idiot."
Shizuo growled and sat in his chair. "You're gunna hold him."
"I'd like to see you try." Izaya smirked. "You never said I couldn't try to kill him when he was born. Are you sure you trust the man who wanted to abort your child at first?"
"Why you-!"
"Coming in! Try not to upset the child when he's off his breathing machine." came Shinra's voice as the curtain was pulled aside.
"Shizuo and Izaya eyed the blue blanket in Shinra's arms. Shizuo out stretched his arms while Shinra guided his arms and the bundle into the body guards arms. When Shizuo had a good hold of the blanket, Shinra pulled back a layer of the blanket to reveal the child. Shizuo's face softened a little, and a smile spread across his face.
"Hey there…" Shizuo chuckled at the sleeping form. The baby had a small tuft of unruly brown hair "Hey Tsugaru. I'm daddy."
Shinra chuckled at Shizuo's new title then eyed Izaya. His face changed dramatically. Izaya gazed at the two his face reading nothing but complete disgust at the whole scene. His breathing had picked up considerably, skin beginning to look shiny from sweat even though the room was kept at a leveled temperature, and he backed away from Shizuo while still being in the bed. Shinra frowned a little biting his lips, and it was then Shizuo looked up from his one sided conversation to take a look at Izaya.
"Disgusting…"
Both men stared at Izaya incredibly, at the informant pointed at Tsugaru.
"What is that disgusting thing…What is that monster?"
Tsugaru was back under his machines, a watchful and hurt Shizuo staring at the child. The only thing signaling the child was alive was the heart monitor he was on. He could tell the heart beats weren't strong. He placed a hand on the heated glass with a sigh and closed his eyes.
"Tsugaru, I'm sorry."
A hand landed on his shoulder, and soon a light appeared in his face. Shizuo read the message and smiled weakly at his dullahan friend. "I'm fine. Tired, but alright otherwise."
Celty turned her body to the incubator. [He's beautiful.]
"Yeah, he is. I just wish Izaya would realize that."
[I heard how Izaya reacted to seeing Tsugaru for the first time. Shinra says he could be experiencing baby blues, or worse. We're hoping it's baby blues.]
"I don't know what those are but, I just want to take Tsugaru home." Shizuo murmured. "Varona is ready to see him."
Shizuo smiled and looked at the curtain with a lingering thought. "Maybe she'll make a better mom than Izaya. He needs a real woman's support."
Celty let some smoke loose in confusion, and jumped when another voice came in.
"If you're trying to bait me into wanting to hold that ugly thing of yours Shizuo, you can cut it out. That's childish and won't work."
"Why you-!" Shizuo stomped over to the curtains and pulled them aside to see Izaya reading a book as if the events of earlier never happened. "How can you so casually sit there like this?"
"Ugh, you're so annoying. Look, I already know a protozoan like you won't listen to reason or why, so why bother telling you? Just go away."
"You heartless bastard. Don't you know that there's a chance that Tsugaru may die soon?!" Shizuo yelled.
Both males looked at each other, crimson hues reflecting utter surprise. He knew the child was weak because he was premature, and Shinra was taking care of him, but are things really that serious?
"Shinra's taking care of him." Izaya scoffed, looking away.
"Shinra isn't even completely sure Tsugaru will get better. The kid's lungs are struggling to keep air in him and he needs the warmth provided by his mother, but you can't do a damn thing because you're still selfish!"
"So what?! If the kid dies, oh well! It was never meant to exist in the first place!"
Izaya covered his mouth as soon as the words flew out. Shizuo's body grew rigid, in the moments that seem to pass by. Izaya looked down.
"Shiz-"
"I'm going for a smoke." Shizuo muttered walking out and dismissing everything that happened.
The raven slammed his hand on the rails and tried to hold back the sudden tears that began to fall as he cradled his hand. "Ow, ow, ow…"
Xibiya: And the series of hurting and hell begins~! I've gotten a few wonderful comments and they made me so happy I decided to update early, and it's quite long too! I'm feeling a little ill today, I think I got a stomach bug, but I powered through to write this! Now I must rest and get better. I have a lot of weekend homework I gotta do before Monday (TuT)
College is hard...
Review please~ They make me write faster!
