As I said before, this chapter takes place right after the previous one.
Not very long, but I like it.
Hope you enjoy!
Happy Birthday
I can still hear the dwarves cheer. This is the first time since Smaug came that they are really happy, and really celebrating something. It's making me quite angry, because I'm only reminded on this day about my ancestors and brother. If we still lived in Erebor, none of this would have happened. My whole family still would have lived, and hundreds of other dwarves as well. I can feel the anger grow inside of me. I turn my hands into fists and walk faster, although I don't know where I should be going to. Knowing looking at the picture would make me even more sad and angry I couldn't go there and quickly running to my own house was quite suspicious. Actually, I hadn't anywhere to go. I think back at the place with the waterfall and grey stones. I close my eyes and hear the familiar sounds of the waterfall, its cold water while the burning sun was shining on it, the feeling of snowballs in my neck and the laughter of both of my brothers. Why did those happy times have to go?
It won't take long I know for dwarves noticing that I'm gone, while I should be standing behind Thorin right now. Well, he have to stand alone for a while, 'cause I'm not coming back. I sigh and return home, ignoring the fuzz from the other dwarves who were starting to wonder where I was. Because I know I might have to return, I keep on the dress and everything. I start cleaning the dishes; a job I absolutely hate, but I've nothing else to do and being busy keeps my mind off things I don't want to think about.
When I'm finished I make up the bed, dust the rooms and make some lunch. As soon as I'm done with that as well, I go to the garden. Well, it wasn't really a garden, just a small place where I could keep some little things like firewood. And since it's really cold, I definitely need some. I remove my gloves and start collecting some pieces, but curse when my knuckle scratches hard against a block of wood, what immediately causes it to start bleeding quite a lot. To my annoyance the blood falls on my dress. 'Damn it.' I snarl.
'Is everything all right?' I hear a familiar voice say coming from behind me.
I turn around quickly and see the blonde-haired dwarf standing there with a questioning and a bit worried look on his face. 'Can I help?' Grodri asks.
'No, I know how to pick up some little pieces of wood, thank you.' I say, luckily stopping myself just in time before I sweep the blood on my hand to my dress.
'Sorry,' he says with a guilty look that annoyed me even more because I immediately felt sorry for being mean to him, but I wanted to be angry on everyone, but his look made my heart soften a bit. 'I was just wondering where you were, so I came looking for you.' He continues, folding his hands together. 'I think you did it very well, if I may say so, lady Dís.'
I can't help to grin. 'Since when are you so shy? You can just call me Dís, you know that. And thank you, Grodri. But I felt like a fool up there. I should be holding a speech, you know. I promised it to my grandmother, and to Thorin as well, but I don't want to so I simply didn't do it. How stupid is that?' I say, though I'm not quite sure why I tell him.
'That's not stupid. You're the most stubborn dwarf Mahal will ever know, and if that means you need to lie to get your way, you will.' He replies. I'm not really sure if that was meant as a compliment or an insult. But still, I know he's right. If only a lie could make me get what I want, I would lie. I was even prepared to go way beyond that, probably.
'Perhaps you're right,' I say. 'but I don't understand why everyone is so happy. This only reminds me of grandfather, father and Frerin. If they wouldn't be dead, this wouldn't have to happen right now and I didn't need to make that stupid oath. You've no idea what my grandmother all said about it. It makes me feel like I'm a monster who's after the throne; but I'm not!' I say, starting to talk more to myself than to my dear friend. I kick against the wall of my house. My toes hurt, but I conceal it like I was told to do, and only make irritated and angry noises.
'I know you're not, Dís, everybody knows that. The only thing is that you don't know it. But it's a tradition that it happens, to make sure the crown is safe, and kept in the line of Durin, because they are born to be kings, or even a queen if that must be so.'
I look at him with a half confused, half angry expression. 'Screw tradition!' I yell. 'I've already broken a lot of rules, now I'm also breaking tradition; you think that will make me a good queen?' I growl, and if my toes didn't hurt so much right now I would kick the wall again.
'You haven't broken so many rules, Dís. And you haven't broken tradition.' I can hear he almost wanted to say 'not yet' and I don't even blame him for that. Some things will only be a matter of time. I give out a deep sigh. For some reason I just wanted to fall into his arms, telling everything that's bothering me so he could make it all okay again while I was leaning with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and smell his nice, thick blond hair.
Instead I let out another growl and shoot him some extra angry looks. 'Is there anything else?' I ask, a hint of annoyance coming through my voice.
'Are you coming back with me?' he asks.
'Why should I come back with you? Are they still doing something?'
'Well, you can also go back alone. They're actually kind of waiting for you. Thorin is sort of distracting them, and he said to me to tell you that if you go, you better hurry.'
I think for a moment and only answer his question. 'That sounds like a better option, goodbye.' Now officially hating myself, I turn around and walk back inside, trying to push back the urge to go back and flung my arms around his neck.
I quickly wash the blood of my hand, but it had already dried on my dress, and it's impossible to get it off right now. Hoping no one would notice, I shove back on the gloves, opening the front door and standing up as straight as I could.
I walk back to the other dwarves; even if I didn't know where they were, I could also just follow the sound, or extreme noise, whatever you'd like to call it. I know this would be a perfect day for orcs to attack, so I hope that they really aren't here.
Arriving there, I stick my chin up in the air and walk past them. I can't see grandmother right now, but it would be very, very hard to miss Thorin. He was surrounded by so many dwarves, and he was the most royal looking of them all. His hear, exactly the same as mine in every way, had more braids in it than usual and I thought it looked even better.
I somehow manage to shuffle through the crowd of dwarves, while I remain looking royal with my chin up in the air and walking up straight.
When I finally arrive next to Thorin, I can hear him softly whispering. 'Why did you go away?' he didn't sound angry, more concerned. I wasn't really used to that from him, so with a surprised tone I whisper back: 'I had to, grandmother would've killed me in front of all the other dwarves. And I just needed to get away.'
I turn my head away before he can whisper something back, and greet some dwarves who were staring at us. I finally saw my grandmother standing in the distance, staring at Thorin and me. I try to see her expression, but for that I'm standing to far away. She's not really standing that far away, but very much to my annoyance my sight of seeing in the distance was getting worse. This quite concerned me, because I used to see very good in the distance, better than most dwarves, and that's why I also was better in archery than a lot of other dwarves. But with my sight getting worse, something that was essential with archery, was giving me some nervous and concerning idea's. But right now it didn't matter, I had other things to worry about. Number one: saying hello to every dwarf standing here. And, to inform you, that are quite a damn lot of dwarves.
I still don't know how (mostly because I don't care) but I managed to say hello to every dwarf yesterday and have a little chat with them. At the end, I was so totally exhausted that I immediately went to bed, let the jewellery that I had to make today laying unfinished on the table and fall asleep as soon as I was changed and in bed. I knew that it meant that I had a lot of jewellery to make today to catch up, but that wasn't really bothering me. I was always busy, but since it's Frerin's birthday I wanted to work as hard as I could to forget all sort of things.
I stand up very early in the morning; it's still very dark outside and almost every dwarf is still asleep. I dress, eat something and abandon my house. This early in the morning it's really freezing could outside; I would make a fire as soon as I get back home. But I was planning to stay somewhere else the time before everybody would get up.
Standing before my fathers house, I can see that someone's already inside; the door isn't locked. I open it and shut it behind me, walking to the end of the hallway like so many times before. A familiar person was sitting on the floor, what makes me frown; he usually always sat on the chair behind the desk. His head turns my way and I give him a weak smile. He returns it with an ever weaker smile and I walk to the desk. On it I place a big candle I took with me when I left the house. I make a small fire and light the candle. The light of the candle gives some extra light for the lamps, and it shines upon the picture. I look at the trio on it.
'Happy birthday, Frerin.' I say softly.
I walk backwards and sit next to Thorin, my eyes always fixed on the second youngest dwarf on the picture.
'Happy birthday, Frerin.' The dwarf next to me repeats the words for his little brother.
