MGM owns all characters.

Thanks HalCooper and scr1tno for beta work. Thank you to all the reviewers.


Richards finally released McKay's hand.

"Listen…" Sheppard started, but was cut off by his teammate.

"No! You listen," Rodney stepped back and shook a finger at John as he started to pace. Richards kept himself between the Major and the scientist. "When are you going to start using the head above your shoulders and not…"

"All right. I've let this go on far too long. I'm only going to say this once," Sheppard shouted, interrupting Rodney, because he did not want to hear another lecture about what a ladies' man he was. The astrophysicist was his teammate; they had to get along and had been doing a pretty good job of it so far. I can't let this come between us. "It's obvious you have a crush on her, so I can tell you that I do not have romantic or sexual feelings for Jennifer. She's the little sister I never had."

Rodney had been opening and closing his mouth trying to cut into John's confession, but he stopped.

"As for what just happened, that Wraith was going to attack whoever went in there. If not Jennifer, then one of my men or another doctor. If she were not there, I wouldn't have called Richards. No one would have had battle armor on, so that person would have died or been in a real bad state right now. I do know Jennifer and she would not have wanted someone else to get hurt," John explained.

"If she didn't put on the vest…" Rodney started as the thought that she could have gone in with no protection registered with him. He turned to look into the grey eyes of Sergeant Richards silently thanking the man.

"You can't dwell on it, Doctor McKay," Richards said. "She ended up wearing it and it saved her. You'll drive yourself crazy if you think of what could have happened."

"She might have been killed." Rodney had stopped moving and repeated the thought. Jennifer, killed? A cold unlike any he had ever felt closed around his heart. His chest ached again as it had in the cell. The thought of Atlantis or his life without the smiling, laughing Jennifer Keller in it seemed like a lonely place.

"That's how things work on a team, Rodney. Someone always has your back. Whether you or Carson like it or not, Jennifer is part of this team. She is aware of the risks out here. I'm letting her learn her strengths and weaknesses. It's what a friend does." He said emphasizing the word friend. The Major was trying not to yell too loudly because part of his anger was self-directed. He did let his feelings for Jennifer get in the way because he knew she was feeling smothered by Carson and Rodney and wanted to let her prove herself. It was obviously the wrong decision.

"We should get back to find out the latest information from Doctor Beckett. I saw him arriving," Richards said as he stepped away from the teammates. Rodney and John stood looking at each other from several feet apart. The physicist had his arms crossed and a look of controlled panic on his face, while the pilot had an apologetic look on his. They appeared an unlikely set of teammates and even more unlikely to be friends, the nerd and the cool jock. There was a commonality between them, the fact that neither was good at following orders or refraining from risk taking were big parts of it. Dwayne had seen it so many times in his career; two unlikely people become the best of friends; Daniel Jackson and General Jack O'Neill came to mind.

Rodney realized that John was fundamentally right. The Wraith would have attacked anyone, but would not let go of the anger just yet. The anger kept the other emotions at bay. The ones that truly terrified the arrogant man: concern and fear for another, protectiveness and something else he could not name, but felt more strongly every day he spent with the young doctor. Shaking his head, he turned and headed back to the infirmary.


Jennifer's first awareness was sounds. A tap-tap-tap-tap sounded from her right. It came and went, so she could not identify its source. She heard voices near her feet and recognized the distinct accents of Radek Zelenka and Peter Grodin. Concentrating harder she could hear their conversation with two others.

"I fold. I think that's the tenth time one of the scientists won," Stackhouse said.

"I give up," Aiden Ford said.

"You two do realize you are playing against engineers? As in people who are really good at math?" Sheppard's voice could be heard from her left.

"So?" Stackhouse said.

"Have you ever heard of counting cards?" Richards' voice sounded from further away, but also in the direction of her feet.

"That's cheating?" An outraged Ford said.

Laughter from near her right ear caused her to turn her head that way. Rodney? He's next to me.

"Only if you get caught," Rodney said as she heard clothing rustling and a chair scraping the floor. The tap-tap-tap started again.

Sensations started to register next in her brain, which felt like a heavy wool blanket had been stuffed inside her head. Her body was numb and cold. Attempting to take a deep breath caused the pain in her chest to intensify. The physician knew something had caused the pain, but could not quite put her finger on it. The fuzziness would not leave her head. Why can't I remember? Trying to move her hands, she felt something tugging on her left hand.

Realizing she needed to see what was going on around her, she slowly opened her eyelids. Bright lights could be seen in the distance, but near her bed, they were dim. As things came into focus, she saw the back of someone's head near her own. Broad shoulders covered with a blue shirt appeared to be inches from her pillow. It must be Rodney leaning against her bed. Why is he here?

"Never play poker with geniuses," Sheppard said from her left. "You know these infirmary beds are pretty comfy. I guess the SGC spared no expense."

"Please," Rodney moaned. "My back takes a week to get back in shape after sleeping here."

"You just need to work out more. Condition your body. You scientists are all too soft," Ford said.

"Just for that, I will not share the candy I just stole from you," Radek said.

"So you admit you cheated," Stackhouse said.

"A sucker is born every day," Richards said from across the room.

Why are all those guys and Rodney sitting in the infirmary with me? Her head would not move much for her to look around the room, but she did make out Richards sitting on a bed reading a book across the room from her. He lifted is head after he spoke and their eyes connected.

"This is Richards to Doctor Beckett. Jennifer's awake," he said as his hand lowered from touching his radio.

"Jennifer," Rodney jumped up, tossing his laptop on the bed next to hers and turned quickly capturing her right hand between his.

His hands were so warm that the contact stunned her and caused her to gasp, an action that caused pain in her throat and chest. She groaned and squeezed Rodney's hand.

"You're still stunned like me… before Christmas. It's been about six hours, so it should be wearing off, but you got hit pretty close. Carson thinks it could take longer to recover from than mine," Rodney said in his fast voice that he used when he was really nervous.

Stunned? How did I… As if the blanket was removed from her mind, images came back to her. Pointed teeth. Claws. Green skin and white hair. Screams. Gunshots. Pain. The on slot of images caused her to close her eyes and squeeze Rodney's hand tighter.

"Jennifer. What's wrong?" Rodney said in a panicky voice.

"Jennifer?" John stood next to her left side and touched her arm. There was an IV coming from her left hand, which had caused the tugging sensations.

"Hu-Hurts," she whispered. Trying to make her voice louder only caused pain so she settled on a whisper.

"Where?" Rodney was leaning over her. He removed one of his hands from enclosing hers and reached out to touch her face, turning her so she faced him.

"Throat. Chest," she managed to get out. The feel of Rodney's hand on her face sent sensations through her. Seeing the intensity of his blue eyes and the concern on his face made her want to crawl into his arms. The images coalesced in her brain reminding her of the Wraith attack. Tears welled up in her eyes and began to leak out the corners. She was powerless to stop them. Glancing around she saw everyone close to her bed.

"Okay. Everyone out." Carson entered the infirmary and started shooing the soldiers and scientists out.

Rodney made no move to leave. He actually sat on the bed next to her and started wiping the tears away with his fingers. The kind act by the usually insensitive man made even more tears come. John squeezed her arm reassuringly and also made no move to leave.

"Gentlemen. Please. Let me examine my patient," Carson said in a softer voice than he used to get rid of the others. He knew these two men cared for Jennifer a great deal and was still amazed by the story he had been told. After his horror at Jennifer's attack and anger at Sheppard, he was stunned to hear that Rodney went into the cell with her and then carried her to the infirmary. Everyone thought he slugged Sheppard, too, but no one saw that.

The doctor focused only on his friend and patient, shutting out his own sense of guilt at not staying to get the samples himself. The journey from Hoff took ten minutes, but felt like an eternity to Carson as his only thought was of returning to Jennifer.

"We're not going anywhere so deal with it, Carson," Rodney said continuing to hold Jennifer's hand. Please be okay. "Jennifer. You're safe. Nothing is going to hurt you."

"I… It… If I didn't… the vest." Jennifer was trying to speak but her throat was not cooperating, so she could speak in little more than a whisper.

"Jennifer. The vest saved you, so don't think about it again," John said firmly as her eyes connected with his hazel ones. "You can drive yourself mad second-guessing everything. The important thing is that you are safe."

"But…" Jennifer tried to speak.

"Trust me. I've been through this. You must let it go." John leaned close and stared into her eyes trying to force her to understand.

"I mean it. I need you two to leave for a little while," Carson said in his doctor voice.

John glanced at Rodney, who could not take his eyes off Jennifer, and said, "Jennifer, I bet you're hungry. Rodney and I will get you some food."

Jennifer nodded and looked at Rodney squeezing his hand. She did not really want the physicist to go, but she needed to sob uncontrollably and knew he would not be able to handle it. Trying to stay calm, she muttered, "Thanks."

"I'll get something easy for you to eat. Since your throat is probably sore," he said smiling and reluctantly let go of her hand as he slid off the bed.

Carson moved close and appeared to have tears in his blue eyes. Once the other men left, Jennifer started to sob as the enormity of her near death came crashing down around her. Her old friend sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms, rocking her gently. Sobbing exacerbated the pain in her chest and throat, but crying on Carson's shoulder helped her emotional trauma.


The next four days passed in a blur for Jennifer. She slept a lot from the painkillers that Carson made her take. Having refused to talk to Doctor Heightmeyer and most of her friends, she occupied her waking time with reading Carson's progress reports from Hoff, watching movies and waiting for Rodney to join her at dinner and breakfast.

The physicist joined her like clockwork each morning for breakfast where he would ask how she slept. He was so upset after the first night when Jennifer said she had not slept well that he went to Doctor Weir demanding Carson be called back from Hoff. After assuring Elizabeth and Amanda that she was fine, it was only Rodney overreacting, she refrained from telling him that she awoke with her sheets wet and a cry on her lips once the pain medication wore off each night. Forcing a smile and saying she slept well would placate the scientist until he returned at dinnertime to update her on the happenings in the city. He seemed to be cheerful and tried to take care of her needs. Rodney set up her computer on a special cart with a large monitor to watch movies and improved the speed for data analysis of Carson's data, but Jennifer felt something was wrong.

The medical staff told her how he carried her from the holding cell and would not leave the infirmary until she had fully regained consciousness. The look of tenderness on his face from that evening stayed with her and she used it to drive the terror away.

Radek, Peter and Isabelle Dumais said he seemed to work every hour except when he visited her. If Jennifer brought up anything related to her attack, he quickly changed the subject as an expression she could not identify crossed his face. Since reading him had been so easy, the fact that she could not figure out his problem really troubled the medical genius.

The sound of silverware on a plate woke her from her light sleep. Shaking her head and rubbing her eyes to push the sleep away, she saw the smiling face of her breakfast companion. It was a forced smile and did not reach his eyes.

"What's wrong, Rodney?" She sat up in the bed. Their friendship was almost six months old and she knew when he was hiding something.

"Nothing. I… uh… I'm fighting with a device. That's all. Can't figure out what it does. According to the database, it has to do with power monitoring. We've been losing power in the tower with the chair platform. Can't have that." Rodney shoveled eggs into his mouth to stop rambling.

"Rodney McKay, you should know that you can't lie to me." Jennifer spoke with her doctor voice, but it only came out in a loud whisper. If she spoke too loudly, her throat still hurt.

An audible swallow came from Rodney as he looked like he got caught doing something wrong. Shifting uncomfortably in his chair, he stared at his plate and looked like he had some bad news, but did not want to share it.

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to force it out of you? Don't forget, I know your little secret." Jennifer smiled and tried to sound threatening with a whisper.

"What secret?" Rodney looked concerned. What did Jennifer know? Did Richards or Sheppard tell her I didn't deny I had a crush on her?

"You know," she said with a wider smile now.

Jennifer suddenly felt happier than she had been for days. This was the first relatively normal conversation she had with Rodney. He did not start the morning conversation with a hundred questions about her health, which meant something else was going on. Since he was obviously not going to tell her, she needed to shock it out of him.


At least she's smiling again. It doesn't matter what she knows as long as she keeps smiling. "I have no secrets that I've shared with you, so you're bluffing."

"Come a little closer and I'll tell you." Jennifer had a mischievous look.

She's feeling better. No way I can tell her what they're doing with that Wraith.

"I am a busy man and don't have time for games." He looked sternly at her, but moved closer to the bed. She was ready to be discharged later today, so she did not have IVs or monitors attached to her any longer. Rodney had planned on coming back at lunchtime and getting her settled in her quarters where he made some modifications that he hoped she would like.

As Rodney leaned closer, to listen to her tell him a secret. She turned like she was going to whisper in his ear and then she struck. Her hand connected with his stomach, tickling him. He jumped back causing the chair to wobble and fall over with him on it.

"Rodney!" Jennifer yelled trying to get up, which caused to to groan in pain.

"Jennifer!" Rodney jumped back up red-faced and breathing hard. He had fallen into the bed next to hers and caught himself before he fell to the floor with the chair.

"What's going on in here?" Marie ran in seeing the chair on the floor and Jennifer and Rodney red-faced.

"I…Ah… Uh… Fell… Over in the chair. I'm fine. Everything's fine here." Rodney stammered and tried to get control over his body. He pulled up the chair and glared at Jennifer once Marie turned to leave.

"Sorry, but you left me no choice. Something's going on and you won't tell me." Jennifer crossed her arms and looked sternly at him.

"That was rotten. What if I cracked my skull on the bed or the floor? How would you have explained that to Elizabeth? Scaring the smartest man here to death." Rodney sat some distance away from the bed.

"Death by tickling?" Jennifer said and suddenly all the humor left her.

Rodney instantly saw the change on Jennifer's face and regretted his whining. She was trying to lighten things up for the first time in days. Now she's thinking about her near death.

"Jennifer," he said standing close to the bed and taking her hand in his. Her small hand fit so well, he found he had to hold it as often as he could lately. "I've almost died three times already. You have to let it go. I know it's terrifying and if I let myself think about it, I'll go insane."

"I know. I… It's just…" Jennifer tried to say as tears welled up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I overreacted. I'm going to have to learn a secret of yours, so I can use it against you, too." Rodney squeezed her hand, trying to smile and reluctantly let it go.

Realizing she would find out sooner or later and wanting to be the one to share it with her, he pulled his chair back close to the bed. Taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart and rid him of the flash of desire that formed when her hand touched his stomach, he continued, "Okay. You'll hear about it soon enough. The Hoffans want the Wraith for some experiments."

"Oh no. They saw that the simulations worked and want to…" Jennifer's expression told him that his intelligent friend knew exactly what experiment they wanted to run.

Her face paled and she clutched the blanket with her hands. He quickly slid his hand back under the small table and pulled her cold one into his once more. No matter how hard he tried to distance himself from this woman, he could not. The desire to touch her was so strong; he had to give into it once in a while. At least she does not seem to mind. "Weir agreed and Sheppard, Ford, Richards and the other big guy always around Richards... Worthington?"

"Warrington," Jennifer corrected. "How can they do this? Feeding a person to a Wraith?"

"The person is terminally ill. He's going to die and wants to save others."

"And if it doesn't work? Or only works partially? He'll have the most horrific…" Jennifer stopped when she realized she was crushing Rodney's hand. He did not say anything, but his cringing face gave it away, so she let go. "Sorry."

"That's okay. I knew you'd be upset. It's why I didn't want to say anything."

"Weir agreed?" Jennifer was shocked.

"Yeah. Carson's pretty upset about it, too." Rodney had overheard Sheppard telling Amanda that Carson was trying to talk the patient and the Hoffan, Perna, out of it.

"He should be. Doctor's aren't supposed to do any harm. I realize we live in a different galaxy now, but I can't believe anyone would take care of sick people and then want to kill one. Feeding a dying person to a Wraith is murder." Jennifer's expression showed her disbelief. "Is Carson still there?"

"Yes, I think he's trying to talk them out of it, but they were off a while ago." Silence settled over them once again, so Rodney rose putting an extra fruit cup on her tray. "I need to get some work done this morning and will be back when they release you at lunchtime."

"Thank you, Rodney. For everything. They told me how you carried me out of the cell all the way to the infirmary," Jennifer said staring into his blue eyes. "I… I wouldn't…"

"Jennifer. Stop thinking about what could have happened. Please promise me we won't have this conversation again?" Rodney stepped back and leaned over her. "Promise me?"

"I promise I won't discuss this with you again," Jennifer said with some attitude behind her whispering voice.

"I want you to promise you won't think it again," Rodney said as he crossed his arms and stood close to the bed. Every time she thought about the attack, he saw terror in her eyes. It was something he would have given everything he had to erase from her.

"How would you make sure I didn't think it?" Jennifer asked.

"I think I could torture it out of you," Rodney said with a sly grin forming on his face. He was desperate to see the laughter and the happiness back on her face. Trying as hard as he could to think of better times, he tried to tease her.

"What does that mean?" Jennifer looked at him with a furrowed brow.

"It means that I know you're ticklish on your feet. I saw Carson check you the first day to see if the stunner blast wore off." Rodney grinned and turned to leave.

Jennifer smiled and attempted to laugh, but only groaned in pain because her chest and throat still hurt.


At lunchtime, Peter Grodin and Radek Zelenka showed up looking slightly unnerved.

"Hi guys," Jennifer said in her whisper-like voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Rodney called us to get you for lunch and get you settled back in your quarters," Peter said as he grabbed the overnight bag she had on the infirmary bed.

"He was called into a meeting," Radek said.

"Oh. Did the Hoffans go through with their…test?" Jennifer asked with obvious distaste in her mouth.

"We believe so, but I haven't been in the control room for several hours and missed the check-ins," Peter said turning to leave the infirmary.

"You know this is not necessary, I can find my own quarters," she said somewhat annoyed that Rodney would send them to walk her down the corridor and to the mess hall. As she started walking, she felt tightness in her chest and it caused her to slow down.

"Jennifer, are you all right," Radek asked with concern in his voice.

"Yes, I need to take it slow," Jennifer said smiling at her friends.

"Maybe you should stay another…" Peter started.

"Absolutely not. I am sick of being in there. I never want to be a patient in my own infirmary again," Jennifer said with as much conviction as she could with a loud whispery voice. "Please, either get me to my quarters or let me go on my own."

The two engineers glanced at each other behind the young doctor's back. They knew Rodney would kill them if she was not okay and they let her go alone.

The two men left Jennifer at her quarters after she threatened to give them shots the next time they were in the infirmary because they were hovering. Once Jennifer got inside, her annoyance with Rodney was gone. He had somehow usurped a large monitor screen to set up in her quarters to play the multitude of movies they brought. A smile spread over her face and she felt a strange urge to find him and hug him. Feeling very tired from the walk down the corridor, Jennifer lay on her couch looking at the remote control console that Rodney left on the table for her to use. After a few minutes, she had a movie selected from her digital library and soon fell asleep to The Sound of Music.


Rodney was not happy to have to get Jennifer and bring her to the briefing, but he did not want to have someone else get her. Grodin and Zelenka said she was very tired by the time she made it to her quarters and did not join them for lunch. Dammit, I knew she was not ready to leave the infirmary. She is the most stubborn person I ever met. Rodney banged on her door and when she did not answer, he used his master override.

When he entered her quarters, he heard the theme from The Sound of Music playing and saw the movie credits rolling on the big screen he installed for her to watch movies on. He was hoping to watch them as well in a more comfortable setting than the mess hall or conference room.

"Jennifer," he said as he approached her sleeping form on the couch. "Jennifer."

"Hhmm, Rodney," she said as she shifted, but did not appear to wake up.

"Jennifer," Rodney walked over to her. He did not want to wake her, but knew she needed to hear the latest update from Doctor Weir. Reaching out to touch her shoulder, terrified of startling her, he gently stroked her arm and said her name again.

She looked exhausted. Her face did not have all the color is used to and she still had horrible claw marks on her neck. Swallowing the anger he felt every time he saw them, he shook her shoulder slightly.

"Rodney," she said in a whisper.

"Jennifer, you need to wake up. There is news from Hoff and Doctor Weir would like you to join us in the conference room. I told her I thought you…"

"Rodney!" Jennifer suddenly sat up, causing pain in her chest. Gasping, her hand moved to her chest instinctively.

"I knew they shouldn't have released you. You're still hurt. We never should have sent Carson to that crazy planet." Rodney quickly slid an arm around her back. "I'm calling Elizabeth and telling her…"

"No. I want to go. I sat up quickly. I'm okay now." Jennifer had thought she was dreaming that Rodney was in the room with her, but he was really there. Looking into his concerned face, she tried to smile to reassure him. "You startled me. Really, let's go."

Rodney released her from his hold and stood back offering his hand to help her up. It reminded Jennifer of a gallant knight helping his fair lady up from her throne and made her smile some more. She slept without any bad dreams for the first time since her attack happened. It must be my quarters and Rodney's gift.


The two geniuses arrived at the conference room where Sheppard was waiting, having returned from Hoff, to brief them on what occurred.

When the Major saw Jennifer's pale appearance, he quickly glanced at McKay, who shook his head in an annoyed fashion. It was obvious he did not want Jennifer to be there, but Carson told him to make sure she was briefed even if she was in the infirmary.

"The Hoffans tested their treatment on the Wraith, Steve, and he could not feed upon the patient, after the patient took the drug. It was apparently only two hours after his dosing and the… experiment," John tried to choose his words carefully, watching Jennifer's face. He saw outrage and disgust along with fear and sadness reflected in her brown eyes. Nodding in agreement and sympathy, he continued. "The Hoffans believe this proves their drug works and is mass producing it to start inoculating their people."

"What? After one test? On a terminally ill patient? Maybe the Wraith don't feed on the sick and dying. We have no way of knowing what was going on with the Wraith," Jennifer said as loudly as her voice would allow her.

"Jennifer, calm down. I know…" Rodney began concern for her showing plainly for all in the room to see.

"You don't know, Rodney. The Wraith gets into your mind. It's like he can see everything," Jennifer said loudly. Tears were in her eyes. It was obvious she was reliving her experience.

"Jennifer," John got up and walked around the table to her. "I told Carson this was not a good idea. I knew it would upset you, but he wanted you to know."

"No, I'm sorry. It's just. Doctor Weir, I'm sorry for my outburst." Jennifer realized she had been silly to get mad. There was nothing she or, apparently Carson, could do.

"It's perfectly understandable Doctor. However, we cannot tell these people how to run their society. I do believe, however, that should they continue to act so recklessly, we might need to break off our relations with them," Elizabeth said looking at John.

"I agree and there's more," John said as he sat next to Jennifer, who had regained her composure.

"I have a feeling, this is not good news," Elizabeth said leaning forward over the table.

"The Wraith died." John looked back to Jennifer.

"What?" Jennifer said. Her mind was racing. It killed the Wraith?

"Carson is doing the autopsy and is going to send the data through as soon as he can. He wants you to take a look at it," John said.

"Was the Hoffan protein in the Wraith's blood?" Jennifer realized the Major would have no idea and halted further questions.

"No idea, but I'll get the data to you as soon as I can," Sheppard said.

"You realize the Wraith will destroy their planet if they find out about this. They won't care if they can feed on them or not. They'll just destroy them," Rodney added looking at the others.

"I agree, but the chancellor does not seem concerned," John added causing a look of shock to appear on Weir's face.

"Does not care that his people could all be killed?" Weir asked.

"They are voting if they wish to inoculate everyone or not already," John added.

The four people in the room sat in silence collecting their thoughts.

"Very well," Elizabeth said. "Sheppard, return to Hoff and see if you can reason with them. If this protein did indeed kill the Wraith, we know they will not allow Hoff to survive if they find out about it. We will need to pay close attention in case we need to pull out quickly. I do not want our people getting caught up in a Wraith attack if it should come."

"We're going to leave them to die?" Jennifer asked. She knew the answer, but the scared little girl who almost died at the hands of a Wraith a few days ago, could not imagine being so cruel to people.

"We just don't have the resources, Doctor Keller. I don't want to think about abandoning an entire society, either, but this is their choice. I know Teyla, Doctor Beckett and Major Sheppard have done all they can to change their minds," Elizabeth explained looking apologetic.

"I know. I just… this whole situation turned into a giant nightmare pretty quickly," Jennifer could not keep a sense of guilt out of this. Perhaps I should have called Carson on his obsession earlier?

"Agreed. Major, head back and report any news you have," Weir looked back to Sheppard.

"Understood," John said and they all rose to leave.

"Doctor Keller, do you have a moment?" Elizabeth said looking up with a smile at Jennifer.

"Of course, Doctor Weir." Jennifer glanced at Rodney and John at the door, shooting them a concerned glance and then sat back down. She had not had many conversations alone with Elizabeth Weir, almost none, and was intimidated by the leader. The things she had accomplished in her life were staggering to the young doctor.


"Doctor Keller, I understand that you refused to see Doctor Heightmeyer." Elizabeth did not ask. She offered it as a statement.

"I don't believe I need to see her, Doctor Weir," Jennifer looked surprised.

"It's your choice, of course. I could order you to, but I won't. For now. I wanted you to know that I am being kept informed of your recovery. I know I only visited you once in the infirmary and I hope you didn't take that to mean a lack of concern on my part," Elizabeth said.

"I didn't think that at all, Doctor Weir. Everyone else has been taking turns keeping me company. I just…" Jennifer paused.

"Go on," Elizabeth leaned forward and looked intently at her.

"I feel like such an idiot. I never should have gone in there," Jennifer said shaking her head and looking at the table.

"Major Sheppard thinks if you did not go, one of his men would have been killed. My understanding is that Sergeant Richards made you wear his vest. He would not have done that for a fellow Marine. Don't be too hard on yourself, Doctor Keller. You need to stand by your choice even if the outcome was not what you thought it would be. Second-guessing is the last thing we can do out here." Elizabeth sat back with a knowing smile.

"I know. It's the first time I've had a decision go so badly." Jennifer admitted. "Boy, that sounds pretty arrogant. Like I'm a perfect know-it-all."

"I have known Rodney McKay for a few years. He is a perfect know-it-all and you sound nothing like him." Elizabeth's laughter caused Jennifer to join in until she touched her chest and moaned slightly.

"Are you all right?" Elizabeth rose and walked over to the young woman. The doctor was incredibly pale and looked to still be in pain.

"I'm fine. I need to rest and not laugh for a while," Jennifer smiled.

Elizabeth sat next to her to see her more closely. "You're really all right?"

"I had been feeling… sheltered is the best word I can come up with and it made me do stupid things," Jennifer confessed looking down.

"By who?" Elizabeth felt she knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from the young woman seated in front of her. She realized, she had wanted to hold Jennifer back before as well. It was something about the innocence that surrounded her. This was someone who grew up with a loving father, excelled at everything she touched on Earth and was taken away from a comfortable life of academic excellent into a place where death was literally through the next door. Doctor Weir knew everyone made a decision to come and suddenly wondered why Jennifer changed her mind and joined them.

"Carson and Rodney," Jennifer answered Weirs' question after a few moments. The way she hung her head and would not look Elizabeth in the eye, made the older woman feel like Jennifer was a student called to her office to tattle on her friends.

"I figured as much. The three of you are great friends. Everyone can see that. I must admit; you make an odd bunch. You seemed to be the mediator early on, but now they seem to be ganging up on you," Elizabeth said as a flush of color finally filling the younger woman's face. She obviously hit on how Jennifer had been feeling.

"Exactly. I think I did this just to prove I'm capable. They begged me to come and even got your permission to tell my father about the program and now they act like I'm going to break." Jennifer crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back very much like a pouting child.

"I never gave permission to tell your father," Elizabeth said with some confusion. What did they do?

"My Dad signed a bunch of forms that Rodney had. He said he got them from General O'Neill. I just thought you agreed to it, too." Jennifer again looked like she got her friends in trouble.

"Not surprising. McKay goes back with O'Neill," Elizabeth smiled. Wow, McKay really wanted her to come along. As she looked at the young woman, who once appeared very confident, and saw the self-doubt on her face now, she knew she had to do something about it. Elizabeth was well aware of Jennifer's involvement in the organization of the personnel during the initial few days and the infirmary set up. Carson had confessed that he forgot all about that once the Wraith arm got here. "I know the desire to prove yourself can drive you to some crazy things. I will share my mistakes with you at some point."

Jennifer smiled at her, "I bet yours do not involve life-sucking space vampires."

Elizabeth laughed. Jennifer had a way to say the most ridiculous things at the right moment to break tension and lighten a situation.

"No they don't. I should not tell you what I am going to, but I think you need to know how respected and admired you are on this expedition and I would like to put that acceptance by all to use if you would indulge me?" Elizabeth asked.

"Okay?" Jennifer responded obviously confused by her furrowed brow.

"All the members of my senior team do nothing but sing your praises. Carson is your boss and you know he can never stop talking about how great you are."

Jennifer continued to have the red tinge on her cheeks and avert her eyes. It was obvious she did not feel comfortable getting praise. She could learn a thing or two from McKay about that. "Teyla has basically made you the official Athosian ambassador from Earth."

"I love her people. They are so proud and strong, yet simplistic in their ways." Jennifer smiled more brightly.

"The next two things I doubt you know, but I will tell you anyways. John originally fought with me to have you put on his Gate team." Elizabeth stopped as she watched Jennifer's jaw drop. "It's true. My real concern was that no one from the SGC would be on the lead team other than Ford and he had a couple years of experience only. When Rodney got the ATA gene and showed Sheppard how brave he could be with the energy being, the Major accepted him."

"I… I'm… I'm in shock," Jennifer looked dumbfounded at her.

"And the final praise I am going to give you comes from the most unlikely source imaginable, Rodney McKay. Not a week goes by when he is not asking me to force Carson to transfer you to his department." Elizabeth stopped, expecting shock and not being let down by the young woman.

"He doesn't!"

"Yes. At our Thursday lunch. I try to have lunch once a week with my senior leaders. Sunday is Teyla, Tuesday is Carson, Wednesday is John and Thursday is Rodney," she explained.

"I thought he was joking," Jennifer said.

"He told you?" Elizabeth was surprised. That's not his style, since when does he care what someone else thinks? He usually sees something he wants, equipment, knowledge or personnel and tries to take it, not caring about any ramifications to others.

"He asks me on almost a weekly basis to join his department, too. It's a running joke. He'll ask if I'm going to accept his offer. I tell him the pay is too low or the hours are too long or something like that." Jennifer was looking down with a smile on her face and a blush on her cheeks. Elizabeth thought she looked like someone talking about his or her high school sweetheart. Could there be more than friendship between these two? I thought maybe her and Sheppard, but McKay?

"Well, if you are seriously considering it, please let me know. Carson has almost come to blows with him about it and I'm sure he'd be very angry if he knew that Rodney was asking you about it directly." Elizabeth could see that the young woman was a healthy shade of pink now. "I think I have embarrassed you enough. Now, because of the Hoffan crisis, I can't give you specifics, but I would like to talk to you as soon as we are through this about working on some special projects for me. I know you already run the infirmary and are doing some excellent research with Doctor Grodin and Zelenka, who cannot say enough wonderful things about you as well, but I would like to take advantage of the fact that you have so many excellent relationships with all the departments. I have some ideas that I hope we can discuss soon."

Jennifer sat in stunned silence after Doctor Weir's last statements. She could not imagine people going to Doctor Weir and talking about how great she was. The fact that Major Sheppard seriously considered asking her to be on his gate team really stunned her. Me, on a gate team? What were you thinking, John? "I don't know what to say. Of course, I'll work on anything you need me to. I'm quite efficient and can multi-task with the best of them."

"Uh-oh. You are getting a big ego. Absolutely no more meals with McKay," Elizabeth said laughing.

Jennifer smiled.


Jennifer was in a good mood the rest of the afternoon. When it was time for dinner, she arrived in the mess hall when she always did and did not see Rodney. Grabbing a tray and some food, she sat with Miko, Pamela Simpson and Isabelle Dumais. Brendan Gaul and Radek joined them after a short time. The Hoffan situation was the topic of discussion, but no one seemed to want to mention the Wraith. Jennifer got the impression they were walking on eggshells around her. It was understandable, but coupled with the mood Rodney seemed to be in lately, it left her unsettled when she went back to her quarters. She thought of calling Rodney on the radio, but something in the back of her mind said to let it go, it seemed too childish. We don't have a set schedule; we just always happened to meet for meals. Her happiness and excitement for earlier had faded. Jennifer wanted to talk to Rodney about what Elizabeth told her and get his opinions, but he was not around.

She felt slightly better when she got to her quarters and saw a small note shoved under her door. Sorry, not around for dinner. Working late as usual, Rodney. The idea he took time to slip a note under her door surprised her. Why didn't he radio, though?


The next morning as she made her way to the mess hall, she saw Rodney coming up the corridor in the other direction. He looked like he had not slept at all the night before. It also looked like he just left the lab. His shirt was wrinkled and he had a five-o'clock shadow, which he got if he had not shaved for a couple of days. What's wrong with him? "Good morning, Rodney."

The physicist jumped because he was obviously so lost in his own thoughts that he did not see her standing outside the mess hall door. "Oh, good morning Jennifer. How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm fine. How are you? You look like you didn't get much sleep and your razor broke," she said trying to keep it light and funny. Her concern was hard to keep down. Rodney was too important to her not to help him with this problem, whatever it might be.

"Huh, oh, sorry. Wrapped up in something and fell asleep in the lab. My back is killing me," Rodney said stretching a little and following her into the mess hall.

"I'm sure we can help you with that in the infirmary," Jennifer said.

"You're not back on duty, are you?" Rodney asked grabbing a tray and a package of dry cereal.

"Restricted. No patients. Only data analysis for Carson, scheduling, records management. Nothing glamorous, but all necessary. You know that. You have a large department to run," Jennifer said.

"Sure. I think Grodin or Miko take care of it or maybe Zelenka. I don't know." Rodney grabbed milk for his cereal and headed for the coffee station. Getting two cups, he set one on Jennifer's tray and took one for himself.

"You and Carson are so alike. Both absent-minded professors," Jennifer chuckled.

They sat at a table near the window and started eating when a call went over the PA, "All medical personnel, even those off duty, and any staff member with Emergency Medical Training or Advanced Medical Training, please report to the Jumper Bay immediately."

"What the hell?" Rodney looked at Jennifer in stunned shock as her radio went off.

"Doctor Keller, go ahead," Jennifer said into the radio.

"I'm sorry to call you when you are not fully fit for duty, but Carson had a desperate situation develop on Hoff overnight, people who took the vaccine are becoming ill. I'm having data sent to your computer, so please grab it on the way to the jumper bay. I'm sorry, Doctor Keller, but we need everyone and you're one of the best." Elizabeth sounded apologetic at first, but by the end, she sounded like her usual self.

"On my way, Doctor Weir." Jennifer got up.

"What's going on?" Rodney asked with his eyes widening.

"Doctor Weir just called me to say that the people on Hoff are getting sick from the vaccine. She said she's sorry to ask me, but I need to go. Carson needs me."

"Fine, but I'm going with you." Rodney grabbed his coffee cup to take with him and the package of dry cereal.

"Rodney, have you ever been in a mass casualty or pandemic situation?" Jennifer asked while walking rapidly alongside him. The adrenaline coursing through her diminished the pain in her chest from walking so fast. Gotta grab some painkillers before I go.

"No, but you don't have much strength to move patients around, so you'll need help," Rodney said gulping his coffee.

"You want to be around sick people? Rodney, please…"

"Jennifer, I'm going." His voice and the set of his jaw told her there was no more discussion.

"Fine. I have to get my computer to look at the initial report. I'll be in the jumper bay in fifteen minutes," Jennifer said.

"Fine," McKay turned to go to his own lab to get his jacket and computer.


When they arrived at the hospital on Hoff, it was chaos. People were lying outside on the ground or on the walkways, some of they writhing in obvious pain. Rodney guided Jennifer through the people into the hospital with a hand on her arm. It was obvious he was trying to keep her from stopping to help the first person they came across. She needed to find Carson or someone in charge and get the personnel she brought into the most useful locations instead of jumping in, so she did not resist Rodney's assistance.

"Jennifer," Teyla's voice sounded from across the crowded room in the hospital. "I hope you are feeling better."

"I'm okay. Thanks," Jennifer said as Teyla grabbed by her shoulders. The Athosian leader pressed her forehead to hers.

"I am sorry I did not visit you. Doctor Weir thought it best I remain on Hoff, so someone was here with Doctor Beckett and to talk with the Hoffans during his absence," Teyla explained as she looked over Jennifer with a critical eye. Glancing at her teammate standing close to Jennifer, she said, "Doctor McKay, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help Jennifer. She's not really that well," Rodney stated.

"I'm fine. It only hurts when I yell or laugh." Jennifer glared at him. "Where's Carson?"

"Come with me." Teyla took the lead weaving in and out of beds, doctors and patients.

They entered what looked like an office area to find a site that caused Jennifer's eyebrows to shoot under her bangs. Carson and a beautiful blond woman were in a close embrace. To say the woman was beautiful seemed an understatement to Jennifer. No wonder Rodney kept babbling about her. She's stunning.

The sound of Rodney clearing his throat roused Carson. Jennifer glanced at her mentor to see he had a blush on his cheeks. Carson and the woman quickly came over to their visitors.

"Jennifer, love, I'm so sorry to call you here," Carson said as he walked over to gently hug his friend. "I know you're recovering, but we need everyone."

"What's the situation?" Jennifer asked getting to business. She knew she could grill Carson about his friend later.

"People, who were inoculated, are getting sick and a few have died including Merrill, the original patient. Cause of death has been a sudden respiratory breakdown in the patients we've seen so far. I don't have much data regarding percentage being affected, time to first symptoms and duration. I just haven't any bloody time to collect it, so we don't know exactly what we are dealing with," Carson said still holding Jennifer's upper arms.

"Okay, we need data and we need to deploy the folks that came with me. We have about fifteen people on the three shuttles with us. Most of them have done some type of advanced first aid and a few have emergency medical training. Where do you want us?" Jennifer asked.

Carson turned to look at the blond woman. "Perna, this is Jennifer Keller. She came from Atlantis with several others to help."

"We appreciate all that you are trying to do for us. I will have some of my staff get your people situated. The situation is unfolding too rapidly for us to stay ahead of it. We need people just to find beds and sort out the level of complications they are suffering from," Perna explained. Her voice was borderline panicking.

"Understood." Jennifer's mind was racing. We need to know what we're dealing with. I wish I had time to collect some data. As she glanced around the room, she caught the familiar blue eyes that always seemed to be focused on her when she was in the room. "Rodney, I need your help."

"Anything," the physicist said suddenly standing up a little straighter.

Jennifer realized she could put his skills with math and data analysis to use. "We need someone to collect the data, percent affected, time to first symptoms, time until death. Could you do it?"

"Uh… sure. I can, but…" Rodney started only to have Jennifer jump in.

"Perna, do you have someone who could work with Rodney… I mean Doctor McKay to talk to the right people to get this data?" Jennifer asked Perna.

"Yes, I do. I'll go find one of the health ministers," Perna said. She looked at Carson and smiled before she left. "I'll be back."

"Thanks." Jennifer flashed a smile at Rodney.

"But what about you? You're in no condition to treat patients," Rodney said crossing his arms and looking concerned.

"I will assist Doctor Keller," Teyla said.

"Thank you, Teyla," Jennifer said smiling. She looked into the blue eyes of her mentor and oldest friend. There was pain and sadness reflected there. His shoulders appeared to be sagging and a flash of defeat crossed his face. "Carson, we have work to do. Where do you want me?"

Her need for him to make a decision seemed to snap him out of his obvious battle with self-doubt. "We really need to autopsy Merrill and look for the protein. Doctor Biro is set up to autopsy, but she is not too skilled with the new equipment we have for protein analysis."

"Say no more, I'm on it. I'll let you know once we get something," Jennifer said. Turning to Rodney, she laid a hand on his arm and smiled before leaving.

"I will show you where Doctor Biro is," Teyla said leading the way out of the room.

Jennifer worked with the pathologist for a short time until she was able to determine that the Hoffan protein, as she called it, was concentrated in the lung tissue of Merrill, the first patient. Telling Elaine that she needed more tissue samples to test, the pathologist had several more bodies brought to the makeshift morgue area.

"Teyla, I need to find Carson and John to tell them what I found so far," she said much later in the day after testing at least a couple dozen samples.

"I'll do it. You look tired, why don't you set down for a while," Teyla said with a kind smile.


Jennifer felt exhausted, not just because of working so long on her feet after her attack, but because of the number of samples she was getting from Doctor Biro. At least twenty-five people have died already. It's staggering. I wonder if Rodney got any data for me yet?

As if on queue, the astrophysicist entered the office area the Lanteans were using as their staging area. Warrington, Bates, Richards and a few other Marines were crashed on the floor or on the one sofa that was in the room. Jennifer longed to lie down herself, but sat at a table reviewing her analysis of the tissue samples.

"You look awful," Rodney said when he got close to her.

"You really know how to smooth talk the ladies, don't you, McKay," Jennifer tried to smile, but her heart was not in it.

"Did you take your pain meds?" Rodney was all business in his voice. He set his laptop down next to her own and stared into her eyes.

"Not for a while." The physician said as she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, only to gasp because it still hurt.

When she opened her eyes, Rodney was not in front of her any longer. Feeling saddened that he left, she jumped when he touched her shoulder to hand her some painkillers and a bottle of water. "Thank you."

"Here's some food, too." Rodney set an MRE down in front of her and pulled a stool up to the table to sit next to her.

"You know, you're really good at this," Jennifer said smiling shyly at her lunch companion as she opened her MRE.

"Good at what?" Rodney asked as he dug into his own food and glanced at the soldiers, who all seemed to be sleeping. It appeared he was uncomfortable with anyone watching them eat.

Realizing his discomfort with the audience, Jennifer lowered her voice so only he could hear. "You're good at taking care of people."

A look of shock crossed Rodney's face as he started to 'Ah' and 'Um".

"Don't get worked up. It's just another secret I swear I won't tell anyone," Jennifer said as she smiled her first real smile in over a week. This feels normal again. She had no idea what had gone on during the last week with him, but she felt close to the scientist once again.

"Now I know you're not feeling well," he said glancing at the sleeping Marines.

"Why do you say that? I mean it. You are good at taking care of people because you are stubborn and won't take no for a response. You force me to eat, take my medicine, get rest because you've got it in your head to watch out for me. My Dad will be grateful," Jennifer said looking into his intense blue eyes.

"Oh. Well… we needed you on the mission and your Dad was nice enough to make you come." Rodney had finished his MRE and glanced at his laptop.

Jennifer noticed immediately and suddenly realized that he must have data for her by now. "Rodney, what did you find out?"

At that moment, Carson, John and Teyla entered the room with Perna walking behind them.

"Looks like show time," Jennifer said turning to brief the others.

"Jennifer, what did you find out about those who died?" Sheppard asked going straight to the point. It was obvious that his level of comfort with this situation was long gone.

Upon hearing their CO's voice, the Marines around the room started getting up.

Jennifer glanced at them and said, "The protein was found heavily concentrated in all the patient's lung tissue. I looked at twenty-five samples and they all showed the same thing."

The physician looked at the Hoffan woman and Carson. "You must stop inoculating your population. This protein is killing them."

Perna looked at Carson and then looked down.

"Rodney, do you know what percentage is being affected?" Carson asked the physicist.

Rodney audibly swallowed and reached to boot up his laptop. He was obviously stalling.

"McKay!" Sheppard barked.

"Fifty percent," Rodney said the number closing his eyes briefly.

"What?" She and Carson said at the same time in shock.

"Fifty percent of the population is dying within seventy-two hours of inoculation." Rodney could not meet anyone's eyes.

Silence permeated the room and then the Major turned and left. Jennifer knew he was heading to see the Minister.


Two days later on Atlantis, everyone was quietly trying to forget the horrible events of the previous couple of weeks; scientists focused more on their work, medical researchers searched their souls to see how far they would go to save half a population, soldiers ran, trained and worked out harder to burn off the sense of uselessness they felt and the senior members of the expedition tried to come to terms with how an offer of assistance and shared knowledge could go so wrong even seriously injuring one of their own.

Jennifer was aware that the other senior members of the expedition really had no one to turn to for support except each other, so she invited them all to her quarters to watch some fluffy, happy movie, on her big screen monitor, and to share the last of her special candy stash.

At 20:00, the door chimed and Jennifer welcomed Rodney in. An offer of sweets was about all it took for him to reply to her e-mail in record time. He was in his casual clothing, the light blue shirt he wore on her birthday, which was her favorite because it brought out his eyes, and khaki pants. He had a bag of Hershey's Kisses in his hand.

"I thought you could use this, so we can keep your M&M stash secret," he said as he held the bag out to her.

"Where did you get these?" Jennifer asked as she took the bag. Rodney walked over and grabbed a spot on the sofa and picked up the remote. He acts like he lives here. Well, he did pick it out with you and set up your TV and computer interface.

"Uh-oh, someone will notice you have a huge monitor compared to the others," Rodney said as he looked back at her.

Jennifer was dumping the Kisses in a bowl and put some of the peanut M&M's back in the box. They really were her addiction and she wanted to keep them a little longer if she could.

"I'll just say it came with the room," Jennifer brought the bowl over and set it on the table with the bottles of water and container of mixed nuts as she settled back on the couch.

"But won't someone know it wasn't here before," Rodney asked grabbing a water and a few chocolates, as he sat back next to Jennifer.

"No, you're the only one who's been in my quarters." The door chimed again, so Jennifer got up before she saw a smile cross the physicist's face.

Teyla and Aiden arrived, followed by Elizabeth and John. Carson was the last one to arrive and it was apparent he had been crying. Jennifer knew Carson spoke to Doctor Heightmeyer already and she was glad. Just because she did not want to talk to the woman did not mean the medical genius thought the psychologist had no value.

"Carson, I saved the last of the mixed nuts for you," Jennifer said as he tried to smile at her.

"Thank you, love," Carson's eyes drifted to the marks still visible on the sides of her neck and then around the room at the others. Finally, he took a seat on the sofa leaving enough room for Jennifer to sit between him and Rodney.

Conversation was lite. Elizabeth brought some large chocolate bars she had and John had a bag of marshmallows. Jennifer started laughing as he pulled them out of the pocket of his jacket and then had to stop when she got a pain in her chest.

"Does it still hurt?" Aiden asked and everyone shot him a look. Swallowing a drink of water, he looked away.

"Only when I laugh or try to pick up heavy things," Jennifer said with a slight smile. She could tell everyone was uncomfortable talking about her attack, especially Rodney who lost a lot of color from his face when she answered. "It's getting better each day. At least I can sleep through the night."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Jennifer," Elizabeth said from her seat in a chair to Jennifer's right. "We were all extremely frightened for you. The entire base held it's breath until you woke up the next morning. The stream of people into my office was never-ending."

"Thank you, Doctor…"

"Elizabeth, please. We are not on duty," Elizabeth laughed and the others chuckled or laughed as well.

"Sorry, my Dad would never forgive me if I didn't give you the right amount of respect," Jennifer said with a smile.

"Your father seems like quite a character," Sheppard said smiling. Jennifer had mentioned her dad on many occasions to John.

"You have no idea," Carson said suddenly a little more animated. "He pulled Rodney and I aside and told us to make sure Jennifer didn't get mixed up with any of you flyboys or jarheads."

Everyone broke into laughter and Jennifer rolled her eyes. "I still can't escape him. He's even got spies in the Pegasus galaxy."

For a little while, Carson, Jennifer and even Rodney told some stories of Jennifer's father. After a while, the others started sharing about their families that were left behind.

When silence enveloped them, John finally broke it asking, "So, what are we watching?"

The group decided on The Wizard of Oz, since it was a happy movie and one Teyla must see, according to John.


A/N Next will be Underground. Don't worry, the aftermath of this will be around a long time, unlike the show.