Chapter 12 - Revelations

Jacob's point of view

Jacob stopped in his tracks, looking at her as if he was seeing a ghost. For a split second, he felt excited to see her, and he almost took a step towards her. Immediately however, he smelled them. He glared at her. To himself he mumbled, well dumbass guess you were right, she did go back to the bloodsucker. When Billy saw the look on Jacob's face he cleared his throat to remind his son of the reason they were all there. Jacob's face softened a little bit and he simply said, "Hi Bella."

Bella was suddenly overwhelmed, and tried to throw herself into his arms. He did not respond at first, and hesitantly lifted one hand to pat her back stiffly. With her being closer to him, although it had been five years, he realized Edward's scent was not on her, two other familiar scents, but not Edwards. He pulled back and looked at her confused.

At the same time the doctor walked in, and they all turned towards him. He introduced himself, and once verifying that Bella was Charlie's daughter he explained, "Ms. Swan, we have done everything possible for your father. We have given him every fighting chance. Now it is up to him. Your father has to want to fight, has to want to live." She nodded her understanding, and immediately knew she had to bring JJ to meet his grandfather. "He should be awake anytime now, a nurse will come for you when he regains consciousness." Bella nodded again.

Bella sat down in a chair, reeling from what she heard. Jacob was looking at the floor with his hands in his pockets and Billy was silently praying.

Alice and Jasper walked into the waiting room with a newly awaken JJ. Jacob's back was to the door, but he instinctively stiffened when he smelled the vampires. He started to turn towards them at the same time a beautiful black-haired russet-skinned little boy ran into Bella's arms, "Mama, Mama, Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper said they would take me for some ice cream if you say it is ok, can I Mama, please Mama." Bella's eyes immediately moved to Jacob searching his face. His eyes were open wide and his face was displaying many emotions, confusion, shock.

Bella is a Mom? Boy she sure didn't waste any time after she left, this is a big kid. I wonder where her husband is, his mind was working.

Billy looked from the boy, to Jacob, back to the boy, and then to Bella with wide questioning eyes. He immediately recognized that this child looked so much like Jake did when he was a little guy. Billy's eyes filled with tears, and he quietly asked, "Bella, may I please meet your son?" Bella looked around nervously, and then answered quickly,

"Oh, of course Billy. This is JJ. JJ, this is your Grandfather . . . . 's best friend." She quickly recovered. By the look in Billy's face, she realizeed that he already knew, and she searched for some sign of understanding or forgiveness. All she saw in Billy's face was pure love staring at his Grandson.

JJ walked up to Billy, stood up straight, looked him in the eye and put his hand out, "Very nice to meet you, my name is JJ." Billy took his hand, and after shaking it just held it in his own with his eyes gleaming.

"And it is my pleasure to meet you JJ."

Jacob watched his father and realized his father was close to tears. He looked at him confused, wondering why Billy would be so affected that Bella has a son. My Dad is getting sentimental in his old age I guess. He must be happy for Charlie or something. Jacob himself was feeling a large array of feelings, shock that she had a child, envy for the husband that finally got Bella, anger at her for leaving him, awe at beautiful she was. He then wanted to kick himself for the idea in his head that Bella was somehow more beautiful when she was looking at her son than she was when he was 16. He felt the walls he had built so high and strong around his heart start to crumble, and his soul was trying to escape. He was angry with himself, and still can not figure out what the hell is wrong with his father.

"Um, JJ, you can go ahead and get the ice cream with Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper, and then come right back, okay?" Bella shot a look of complete appreciation towards her friends. Alice nodded, and took JJ's hand in hers, and then skipped off down the hall with him laughing at his Aunt who looked like a little girl herself in that moment. The love between them was obvious.

Billy turned to Bella and softly asked, "Why didn't you tell us?" Jacob in his own head is answering, 'cause it was none of our business, Dad, get a grip. Bella lowered her head in shame, and told Billy that she was so, so sorry. Jacob felt even more confused. Why was Bella apologizing to her father for not telling him she had gotten married and had a child. After all, when she left, she left them all and cut them completely out of her life, even Charlie.

Billy turned to Jacob almost as if could have heard his thoughts. He smiled sadly at his son realizing Jacob has not yet figured it out. He kept his eyes on Jacob, as he addressed Bella, "Bella, how old is JJ?"

"JJ turned 5 yesterday.", came her shaky reply. Jacob thought to himself again, boy, she sure didn't waste any time finding someone new. She has only been gone from here almost six years now. He felt his emotions growing. Billy continued, even softer this time,

"Bella, what does 'JJ' stand for", still keeping his gaze locked on Jacob's face.

"Jacob Junior." Jake's body froze completely. His body seemed to be understanding something his mind was refusing to. He finally got angry.

"Bella, what in the hell does your husband think about you naming your son after an ex-boyfriend?"

Billy again shook his head sadly, wheeled himself past his son, putting his hand on his shoulder as he passed by. He looked back at Bella, and gave her an encouraging look. He left the waiting room, leaving them alone.

"Jacob, I. . . . I am not married."

As she waited for the impact to hit, they were interrupted by a nurse hurrying through the doors leading to the recovery rooms, "Ms. Swan, your father is awake."

Bella jumped up, looked at Jake, reached into her purse and pulled out the stack of letters tied neatly together with a bow. She silently handed Jacob the letters, and turned to follow the nurse down the hall.

Jacob opened the first letter:

Dear Jacob:

I know I will never send you this letter, but I need to write it anyway. Jacob, we are going to have a baby. I found out today, the doctor gave me a blood test, and he is 100% sure. I am filled with so many emotions: love, fear, excitement, nausea, and aching. I am aching for you. I know that in order for you to preserve your blood-line, you have to settle down with a girl from the reservation, and I will not stand in the way of your birthright, of your tribe's future. The council explained everything to me. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done or will ever do. It is breaking my heart to not tell you about the baby, however I know you, you would insist on marrying me, and then you would lose your place in the tribe, and I won't do that to you. I promise you I will love our baby enough for the two of us. I miss you every time I breathe. I am so sorry.

Love,

Bella

Jacob was thankful he was sitting down in a chair, because suddenly he felt as if he was on some ride at the county fair that increased the force of gravity. His mind was whirling, Jake, you're an idiot. 5 years old, plus the time to be pregnant, named after you. Holy shit. And then in another minute a smile crossed his face, 'I'm a Dad. Oh my God, I'm a Dad.' Jacob felt tears streaming down his face, joy swept over him in a way he never knew was possible.

He turned to the next letters. There were about eight different letters describing her pregnancy, the changes in her body, her fears. The letters always talked about knowing how he would never read them, but she had to write them anyway. She explained the way Alice had showed up, and how Alice had taken care of them. In that moment, although Jacob would have never believed it possible, he felt such a deep gratitude towards Alice, she instantly won a place in his heart for being such a good friend to Bella and his son. His son. "My son," he almost whispered.

The next letter was especially poignant.

Dear Jacob:

I am writing you this letter in the hospital, two hours after giving birth to your son. Jacob, he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and he has your hair and your eyes. I am a little woozy still, they had to give me some pain medication after he was born. He weighed 10 lbs 4 oz, and is 21 inches long. He is tall and husky like his Daddy. Jacob, I ache for you, and I wish you could have been here to see him come into the world, but I know that is something that just can not be. I love you more in this moment than I thought possible, more than the night we made JJ. Oh JJ, I have named our son Jacob Black, Jr. JJ seems to fit him perfectly. He has ten beautiful little toes, and ten beautiful little fingers. His Apgar test was a 10, which is absolutely perfect. He is Jacob, our son is absolutely perfect. Maybe this is silly, me writing you details in a letter you will never read, but somehow it makes me feel connected to you, which I need so desperately. I love you, and I miss you with every breath.

Love,

Bella

Jacob sat there silently, trying to picture the way Bella would have looked holding a tiny infant looking like the boy he had seen tonight in Bella's arms. He quietly and slowly read through all the letters from over the past five years. Every important detail was documented for him, first steps, first words, favorite stuffed animal (a wolf of course), the outrageous appetite, and the first time he sang a song. Jacob felt as if the world had turned on its axis, and he knew nothing would ever be the same in his life again.

Within 15 minutes of him finishing his letters, Alice, Jasper and JJ returned. Jacob looked at him, and his heart filled so completely with love, a love he could not describe. He never knew he could love that much. He then looked at Alice, slowly rose, walked over to her, bent down and hugged her. Alice's eyes opened wide and she stiffly pat his back three times, with her nose wrinkled. "Thank you, Alice," was all he could say.

"ummm, ok" was all she said. He then turned towards JJ, and sat down again to meet JJ's eyes. JJ looked at him, cocking his head a little to the side. JJ reached out and touched Jake's hair.

Jacob spoke first, "Umm, Hi JJ it is nice to meet you."

JJ stood up and shook Jacob's hand. "It is nice to meet you too. Mom has a picture of you in her room, but your hair is different now, it is shorter", was his answer. This surprised Jacob, and he wondered how much the boy knew. Jacob decided that could all be figured out later. He got on with the business of getting to know his son.

When Bella returned from the seeing Charlie, she was greeted to a scene of her son sitting on Jacob's lap, reading a book from the waiting room library, with a captive audience of Alice, Jasper and Billy hanging on every word. When Jacob saw her, he gently handed JJ over to Billy who resumed helping the boy read the book. He walked over to Bella. She was utterly unsure of what he was about to say, or what he would be feeling.

Jacob walked up to Bella, grabbed her up around the waist and gathered her up into his arms. He hugged her to him until she had to remind him "Air, please Jacob, can't breathe." He chuckled, loosening his hold on her slightly, enough for her to raise her head to look at him, afraid of what she would find. Before she had a chance to ask him anything, he brought his lips to hers, and kissed her with a joy she could have only dreamt he would feel.

He gently set Bella down as he felt a tugging on his pants leg. He looked down to see his son standing there. He smiled. JJ looked at him and asked, "Why are you kissing my mommy like that?" JJ had never seen his mother with anyone, and he was intrigued by this turn of events that his mother was kissing the man from the picture in her bedroom. The picture that he often pretended was a picture of his Dad. He had even told all his friends that story when they came in the house, not wanting to admit that he really had no idea what had happened to his dad.

Everyone in the room laughed at his question, and Jacob bent down and scooped JJ up. "Well JJ, I was kissing your Mom because I love her, and I am really happy she is here, and that she brought you to meet me."

Bella pulled herself out of Jacob's hold, and explained that it was time for JJ to meet his other Grandpa. JJ looked at her when she said 'other' Grandpa trying to figure it out. He instinctively looked at Billy, back at his Mom, and then just shrugged his shoulders. She squeezed Jacob's hand as she left.

Jacob turned to Billy, and hugged his father warmly. "Congratulations, son" Billy whispered.

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