Somewhere above the Midwest, on the private jet that Shaw and I commandeered, I look over at Finch. He's sitting quietly beside me, hands wrapped around a cup of tea that he declared a "poor approximation" of his favored Sencha green. He doesn't pay any mind to Root, broken and dejected from the loss of her connection to the Machine, now a shell-shocked remnant of her former self. He doesn't notice Shaw, keeping her focus on our former enemy, despite the fact that it's obvious she's too dazed to be a threat to us any longer. Instead, he's staring off into the distance, his mind elsewhere; he probably doesn't realize – or think that I notice – that his hands are shaking.
Earlier today, Finch stared down the men responsible for Nathan's murder and for his own injuries, and boldly defied their attempts to force him to either tell them how to find the Machine or make them a new one. And that, just minutes after Shaw and I found him staring down the barrel of Root's gun. While I don't truly understand why, it's an act of courage that I find myself admiring... and, in a way, something that I'm envious of.
When I first met Finch, I thought he was just a "bored rich guy" looking for something to do. Not long afterward, I dropped the "bored" part; he was rich, and he wanted to help people. But for whatever reason, he couldn't. Whether he was too cowardly, or simply too broken, he stayed behind his computer, hidden away in his secret Library where it was safe while I went out and saved everyone.
But then, I was proven wrong once more. First it was Theresa Whitaker, urging her to escape out the window while he, unable to climb to safety himself, faced off against the assassin sent to kill her. Then it was approaching the CEO of Virtanen Pharmaceuticals, a man who had already murdered several people to keep the deadly secret of their latest miracle drug from getting out. And then he was running toward a bomb, rushing to warn and save the intended target, in spite of his own safety (and, come to find out, the fact that he'd been injured in an explosion once before). And then it was me, rushing to my rescue despite the dangers of both the CIA and Detective Carter, both of whom were determined to put a stop to our mission.
And as time went on, Finch kept surprising me. Rushing to the defense of a woman being attacked by her stalker... fighting (and getting knocked unconscious) to prevent kidnappers from taking an innocent baby. Offering to fire a gun – something he despised – to create a diversion to help rescue Taylor Carter. Standing up to Root as she kidnapped him the first time around. Helping a doctor save an innocent man in surgery (despite his obvious dislike of hospitals). Saving my life once again, defusing the bomb vest that Kara Stanton forced me to wear – even knowing that if he failed, he'd never get clear before the explosion killed us both. Facing down a serial killer masquerading as an FBI agent. Staying calm and resolute in the face of death in a dangerous game of Russian roulette. And then, allowing himself to be taken by Root once more, knowing full well – and even admitting to the fact – that it was very likely he wouldn't return alive.
People call me courageous, brave. I've faced danger before; I've put my life on the line, unafraid, because I know what I'm capable of doing, because I have faith in my abilities. But Harold Finch... he puts himself in danger despite his fears and despite his limitations, and that's a kind of courage I know I'll never be able to match.
A/N: Tag to episode 2x22 "God Mode"
From clarinetgirl2427's prompt list
Single word prompt #59: Courage
Originally written sometime just before Season 3 started (not long after rewatching "God Mode", I'm sure...)
