Artemis Fowl: Boxer

"I don't know why you chose boxing, Artemis!" Butler sighed, his charge was growing up... and rather horribly too! Artemis had recently announced that his goal of the year was to learn how to box. "If you had chosen Kung Fu, or Jujitsu, or even Archery, I wouldn't have complained. But boxing!"

At the other end of the couch, Artemis sighed. "Butler, I have decided to pursue my dreams, can you blame for that? Perhaps I was not meant to be a criminal." Juliet, caught in the act of entering the room, gaped. And managed to croak out an incredulous squeak. Butler and Artemis turned to her, surprised. They had not noticed her quite entrance.

"But, Artemis, you are a brilliant criminal mastermind!" Artemis sighed softly, and said, "I have already made up my mind, and nothing you can say will change. All I need is your help! I need to win a few major competitions in a year, and then I'll go back to being a criminal mastermind."

Butler's eyes suddenly glinted, and he immediately said "Deal!" Then he took Artemis downstairs to their weight training courses. Now, all you have to do is lift this 100-pound weight! It's simple, I've done it lots of times." Artemis struggled to lift the heavy weights... and instantly dropped them, once he had managed to somehow push them over the edge of the table. On his feet.

Butler was sympathetic, "Oh well, let's just go over to our punching wall, maybe you can try something lighter later." Artemis nodded, to tired (already) to further complain. He was led to a brick wall, about 5 feet wide, 10 feet tall, and ½ a foot thick. "Now," Butler instructed, "punch the wall as hard as you can with your first two knuckles. Got that?"

Artemis punched the wall. And the wall... didn't do anything. Artemis did though, he screamed. "Butler," he said in deadly calm voice, "that hurt. A lot."

Juliet's eyes suddenly glinted, much like her brother's had. "Oh, Artemis, Butler was just being mean. Let me fix that up!" She walked out of the room for a few minutes and came back carrying a jar of alcohol. She rubbed it on, "This is what all boxers use to clean out their cuts."

Finally, Artemis's eyes widened... The reaction the siblings had been waiting for. "I... I don't think... I believe," he said, having finally calmed himself, "That I have banks waiting, which I need to rob." Butler feigned reluctance and said, "But, boxing..." Artemis shook his pale head firmly. "No, I cannot keep those banks waiting. They need me."

Behind his bank, sister and brother shared a grin and a whispered "Good Job!"