Csilla: Since I will be away this upcoming weekend, I finished up the chapter I was working on so I could post this one~ :3
It was now or never. I could do it. It should be easy to string three words together, right? So why was I having so much trouble?
"Yuu, I-" A loud knock at the front door caused me to fumble over my words as I glanced over in time to see Mitsuba opening the door, with Shinoa flanking her side.
Her eyes widened when she saw me, "Mika? You're back?! Why didn't you tell us he was coming back, Yuu? Well, whatever… Talk about timing," lifting an unopened bottle of liquid -that from my current spot I couldn't tell what was beyond the glass- up with a pained smile, "We were going to have a get-together and drink to Shiho…" Her violet eyes watered and I lowered my eyes. I couldn't meet her gaze. I knew it was going to be hard to come back after disappearing, but I couldn't tell anyone else the truth. Unless Yuu…
I hesitantly raised my gaze only to meet his eyes, had he been watching me? My shoulders sagged as I played with that idea for a moment. If he had been watching me then what? Did he want me to explain myself to them? Did he want me to tell all of them the truth about what I did to Kimizuki? The truth about myself?
After all the problems I gave him, he had the right to decide who knew the truth about me; I cleared my throat, "Yeah… I was just telling Yuu that-"
"He was just telling me that something came up back home and that's why he had to leave so suddenly… but he's back," I immediately turned my gaze back onto Yuu as he went on to explain a phony family emergency I had not even a week prior when Kimizuki had died, "…but he apologized for leaving without knowing what had happened… That's all, right Mika?" His vibrant green eyes glanced over to me for confirmation, which I gave with a slight nod.
"Well, at least you're back… We were worried Yuu was going to kick the bucket if you didn't return," Yoichi appeared from behind both girls, who shared knowing smiles with each other.
Shinoa grabbed the bottle that Mitsuba had lowered somewhere through Yuu's explanation and lifted it, "Let's drink~"
"Alright, we'll get the cups..." I felt myself pushed from behind by my roommate until we were both in the kitchen, isolated from the others.
I watched as he went about grabbing a handful of plastic cups –that looked like they wouldn't hold much of whatever the liquid was that Mitsuba brought- before I spoke up: "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" He didn't even bother to spare me a glance as he checked the cleanliness of each cup, obviously trying to stall in any way he could.
I closed the distance between us until we were side-by-side, standing close enough to warrant a ton of teasing if anyone caught us like this. I kept my voice low, "Why did you lie for me? I would have be fine if you thought they deserved to know the truth about me…" hoping it stayed leveled, despite the jitters bubbling around inside me.
"You make it sound like you're giving me the right to choose who knows and who doesn't" His low chuckle only made the jitters grow more excited inside me and my eyes reached out for his. His vibrant green found mine and the humor he had put into the atmosphere disappeared immediately.
"I am, Yuu" I whispered, breaking eye contact afterwards to hesitantly move my hand closer to his. If he pulled away, I would accept it.
When my hand finally met his, I felt a jolt shoot through me before I raised my eyes to meet his again. Yuu seemed to have followed my gaze down before slowly raising his eyes to meet mine. We stayed like this for who know how long before we heard Shinoa call out for us.
We both backed away, forcing way too much space between us and I couldn't help wishing we hadn't. As Yuu gathered up the cups, I tentatively peered down at my hand –I had held hands with him and Yuu didn't pull away. He didn't mind…?
I followed him out, taking my usual spot at the end of the couch that was furthest from the door. After handing everyone else a cup, Yuu sat down beside me before handing me my own cup. Mitsuba went around filling up everyone's cups and soon we were all raising our glasses in memory of our friend.
"Shiho, although you were a pain most of the time… I won't forget you," Mitsuba began, tearing up towards the end.
Shinoa latched onto her friend's statement, "We all won't forget you, Shiho… You were a nice guy, who die too early… don't worry, we'll-"
As if sensing the girl's tears, Yoichi jumped in: "We'll look after Mirai for you, just like we promised… and when she's released from the hospital, she is welcomed to live with me… just like we talked about," a soft smile spreading across his face, which earned a curious look from not only me, but from everyone else in our group.
So apparently I wasn't the only one, who was wondering about that. Had Kimizuki and Yoichi talked about the idea of where Mirai would go if he died or something? Not likely, but what other explanation was there?
"So I guess, Kimizuki had thought ahead just in case…" My eyes swept over to the raven beside me, Yuu was staring down at the glass held between his hands.
Slight movement had me turning my gaze back to Yoichi, who nodded: "Yeah… though I'm sure neither of us expected he was going to die… I sure didn't"
Yuu cleared his throat, "Kimizuki, you were a pain in the ass… You were arrogant and we fought a lot, but you were my friend. You were my COD comrade… so…" his eyes shifted over to me and for a brief moment, I wasn't sure what to say. I was the person who took him away from everyone. I'm sure Yuu caught onto my hesitation to speak, but as he pushed on to end the toast I felt words stumble out my mouth.
"Kimizuki, like Yuu said… You were a pain in the ass… You always were making fun of the two of us, but you also made these last three years the best three years of my life. I know we didn't get along, but I hope your soul finds happiness in the next life whatever that might be…" By the end, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I knew what I wanted to do with his soul, but I still wanted to talk to Yuu about it.
We lifted our glasses towards each other's, allowing them to clink softly against one another before all of us said: "To Shiho Kimizuki!" and downed our drinks.
The liquid burned my throat as it went down and a part of me wanted to spit it out, but at the same time it was burning – it numbed the sharp guilt in my chest. A double-edge sword, in my opinion. I was briefly aware of everyone holding their cups out for more, I copied their actions before downing my second glass.
This time the burn was softer, but still present and afterwards I finally blurted out: "What is this anyways?" as the liquid numbed more of the sharp guilt inside me.
Shinoa, already holding her glass out for a third helping, replied: "Vodka… 13 percent… not strong enough to stop after a few glasses, but enough to soften the pain… you know," and I noticed her cheeks were dusted a light pink.
Csilla: Leave a review~ I love them all! :D
COD (Call of Duty) was the only game I could think up to use, sorry I'm sure there are better games :p
