~Her Sanctuary~
Chapter 12
This is an A/U fic inspired from a picture Tony posted of himself in a doctor's outfit.
Disclaimer: I own nothin' of Major Crimes, nothin'!
Trigger warning: anxiety/panic attack and maybe a smudge rated M.
They sat there staring at each other. Andy was giving her some time to absorb what he just admitted to her. Sharon spent those silent minutes over-thinking. She wasn't a fairy-tale kind of girl. She liked rules and order, even in her youth. There was none of that in a princess story and she certainly didn't need a prince to ride in on a white horse to save her. Sharon Raydor was by no means ever a damsel in distress. She could do her own saving, but it was exhausting and she found that it was nice sometimes to have someone to lean on when things went wrong. In the good times, in the regular times or even when they did nothing but sit around the house, it made life easier to have Andy there. Having someone to talk to, someone that understood her, knew how to listen and offer advice when needed was especially comforting.
It had been a long time since she had that kind of relationship if she ever did. Jack was never really there for her. He was always more into self-preservation. Most importantly in Sharon's world, love-at-first-sight didn't exist. It was completely out of the question. Falling head over heels for someone meant you lose yourself, you lose control and she didn't like that at all. It hadn't been there with her ex-husband. No, she never had the love-at-first-sight feeling for Jackson Raydor. Sure, he was nice looking but he had to use his charm over time to get a date with her, then to get her to eventually marry him. Now after meeting Andy, Sharon came to realize she might have been wrong on that fact most of her life. He had her rethinking things while she sat next to him at her kitchen table.
As they stared at each other, she thought back to the first time she saw her handsome doctor and those expressive dark brown eyes. She had been at her worst but there was something in his eyes. Somewhere deep inside, Sharon knew at that moment she would never be able to get him out of her head let alone her heart. He embedded himself in there the second their eyes met. It just took her a while to figure out it was love she felt for him. With all of her thinking, she ended up feeling a bit perplexed. Sharon blinked a few times, and then took one of his hands in hers. In a serious tone, she asked him, "If you were so taken with me, Andy, then why on that day in your office did you turn me down when I first asked you to dinner?"
He straightened up at the pain he saw in Sharon's eyes and heard the hurt in her voice. He needed to try and explain what he had done, "I was still your medical doctor even though you healed faster than I've ever seen anyone." Andy leaned in and when she didn't back away from him, he closed the space and lightly kissed her. "As I said, I was already in love with you, the problem was, I didn't know how you felt and honestly, you didn't need me anymore." He took their joined hands and stroked his thumb over the back of her knuckles. "Sharon, you were physically healed and having you continue to see me felt like it was holding back the other part of the healing you needed. I had to let you go in order for you to get better."
"The emotional and mental damage I suffered." She stated in a whisper as if in agreement. Sharon stayed focused on their joined hands before looking back up at Andy.
He nodded at her. Then with his free hand, he tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, which had fallen in her eyes. "Yes, Sharon, your body was ahead of the healing scale." To try to ease some of the tension he could sense building between them, Andy squeezed her hand and lightly said, "I have to say your body is always ahead of the scale." He received a smirk, then a glare but also a small laugh. Andy turned serious as he added, "You still needed an outlet to release the emotional hurt you had trapped inside."
She agreed, "Yes, being trapped inside myself is a good way to explain how I felt. I had forgotten who I was anymore. I just wanted to hide from the world, but mostly from myself." Her eyes held the sadness of how she used to feel, but she felt much more confident now that Andy was willing to let her talk it out. With everything out in the open, he still wanted to be by her side. Sharon scooted herself closer still to him and kissed him, hoping Andy could feel all that she couldn't express in words. She sat back in her chair as she said, "About my healing being fast, determination and anger can be great motivators."
"I know that a lot of your anger was directed at me telling you no. I did that for you, but in hindsight, I think I made everything worse by turning you down for dinner and not explaining why. Sharon, I am sorry, even if it was done with the best intentions, it was wrong of me to do." At that moment, Andy stood up and with their hands still interlocked he had her stand up too. When he let go of her hand he saw her frown, but he instead pulled her into a hug. Thinking about how close he almost came to losing her from his own wrong choices caused him to hold her tighter. Andy relaxed as he felt her hands slide up his chest to slowly go around his neck. After letting out a relieved sigh, he said, "Not that this makes what I did right, but I need you to know that it was the most difficult thing I ever had to do."
Sharon thought back to the hard times she went through thinking Andy turned her down because he didn't feel anything for her. She was embarrassed and miserable for months. She also thought about how great she felt now in his arms and the loneliness melted away. She leaned back to look at him but kept her arms around Andy's neck. She smiled as she said; "I guess we both owe our conspiring friends a thank you then because somehow, Gavin and Andrea set us up that night at the LAPD gala. I can't believe it took me so long to see what those two were up to, but I suppose my mind was distracted by a certain silverfox, as Gavin's calls you." At Andy's gasp, Sharon laughed, "careful, I do think he has taken a fancy to you." When his eyes widened, her laughter got louder. She felt good to laugh again. It had been such a long time for her to even have the desire to be happy.
Andy smiled at her laughter. He was thrilled to see Sharon like this. There was a healthy glow in her cheeks and a sparkle of happiness in her bright green eyes, but then he swallowed hard. LA's toughest lawyer did scare him a little. "You'll just have to tell Gavin Q. Baker I'm taken…" Andy placed both his hands on the sides of her face and said, "tell him I'm taken...for the rest of my life." With Sharon's own gasp, he took the opportunity to kiss her passionately. When he broke the deep kiss, he acted as if he didn't just confess to wanting to spend the rest of his life with her and casually asked her, "So did last night's talk about what you went through, help?"
Though Andy was right, letting it out did help, Sharon still rolled her eyes as she questioned him, "don't you get tired of being right all the time?"
He was happy that they talked about the pain he caused her and were passed it. Hurting Sharon was never his intent; it was the last thing he ever wanted to do. With a smirk, Andy replied lightly, "ohh, it is exhausting." He shook his head as he said, "No, not really. No." Hearing her full out laughter come to a snort, he thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. His goal was to hear more of that music to his ears.
Sharon drew herself up against Andy's firm body having the need to feel his warmth. He was right, talking about it helped even if it was embarrassing to let out her dark secrets and to let someone into her private thoughts. It was very hard for her, but it helped gain her confidence back. With Andy's help, Sharon felt like she had a new lease on life and she was happy to share it with the man that meant so much to her. Feeling that inner-strength again, she threaded her fingers through his hair and said in a demanding voice, "Andy, take me... back to bed."
They ended up getting a few more hours of sleep after once again releasing the built-up passion in them. As they woke, both had never felt more refreshed and content. When Sharon rolled out of his arms and turned to face him, it amazed Andy at how her eyes would shine such a brilliant green when she smiled. He vowed then and there that not only was his goal to hear her laugh more, he would make it his main mission in life to see Sharon Raydor's eyes light up as she smiled. It was something he just couldn't live without.
She settled her head on Andy's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. They lay there quietly for a while. As her hand roamed lazily over his chest and his drew circles along on her hip bone, he dared to break the calm silence by asking, "I have a question to ask you? It goes back to yesterday, um... about your nicknames."
Sharon wasn't expecting that at all. She lifted her head and propped it up by leaning her chin in the palm of her hand to look at him. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Fine get it out of your system. Go ahead and ask me."
Hoping the smile that lit up the dim room would continue, he teased, "anyone that knows you for a few minutes can see why you are called Darth Raydor." When Andy received a glare, he laughed and said, "Oh, that's what I mean right there. That's the look. I admit I really like the Wicked Witch one." With that, Sharon sat up, crossed her arms and eyed him questionably. He sat up too and explained quickly, "really I do like it, and it has a mystery to it. I'd say the person who first called you that saw more into it than you think it meant." Andy dared to kiss the pout off her lips, then gave her a lopsided smirk as he asked, "The important question is. Just how wicked can you be?"
She wasn't really mad, but talking about her dreaded nicknames in bed with Andy wasn't how she wanted to spend her time. Sharon never really liked those names, though she was slightly fond of the Darth Raydor one. It helped spread her tough reputation around the force. The latter one was earned by her just doing her job as head of IA and a smart aleck lieutenant thinking he was funny. As she thought of her days helping the then out-of-control Major Crimes Division, she absentmindedly ran her tongue over her lips. The feel of them tingling from his kiss, caused her to focus once again on Andy.
The look in his eyes and the way he kissed her made her feel special, loved, needed, and just flat out wanted. Those thoughts gave her the sexual prowess to place her hand on his chest and say in a sassy tone, "wouldn't you like to know." Sharon had been holding back a laugh at Andy's Wicked Witch line. Since the night began, she felt lighter and happier than she had since this whole incident started and possibly years before that. Talking to Andy helped release the grip the haunting memories had on her. It was as if she had expelled her demons and they could no longer have possession of her. Their power to drag her deep into the darkness was gone. She was stubborn, as Andy called her, enough to not let them win. She shook her head trying not to let her mind linger in the past; no, Sharon wanted to concentrate on the man next to her. She used the hand on his chest to push him onto his back. Then slowly, she crawled up his body. It didn't take long for them to relieve each other of their nightclothes, especially since she was only wearing Andy's shirt and he was in just his boxers.
Andy moaned as he let Sharon have full control. "I would say you can be very, very wicked. You must be some sort of witch to have this power."
Sharon liked the way Andy said witch, it carried a sexy overtone to it. Now when anyone from the LAPD called her that, behind her back, of course, she would never think of the term the same again. In fact, she was sure she would just smile at them as her thoughts drifted back to this very moment, naked in her bed with a very sexy man that desired her. It was just one more thing she would be thankful to Andy for.
Having absolutely no problem taking command, Sharon spent all the time she wanted exploring Andy's body. She was fascinated on the sensitive spots she found in her explorations. There was the typical one behind the ear that made him deck his head, but he always relaxed and gave her access again. She almost giggled when she lightly ran her hands along his ribs and he jumped. Sharon now knew Andrew Flynn was ticklish, but her favorite spot was behind his right knee. Not the left, that one didn't affect him at all. She found the sensitive area by complete accident. It was when she slid her fingers down his muscled thigh, to the soft skin at the bend of Andy's right leg his body tensed. At first, she was worried but when she looked up at him, he was smiling so she did it again and again just to hear his breath catch. Sadly Sharon never did finish her exploring because from their panting she knew they were more than ready. So she slowly made her way up his body to lift herself to slide down on top of him.
After they both crested to their climatic high, Sharon basically dropped to the bed beside Andy. Her body felt like Jello, no solid to it at all. She was completely spent. She wasn't even sure if she was awake or dreaming because the way she felt couldn't be real. Her chest heaved, she was short of breath and her heart rate was pulsing so fast she could feel the blood running through her veins. Except this time, it was no anxiety attack. She was not hyperventilating. This was nothing Sharon had ever felt before, ever. What she was experiencing was something out of this world. It took her a few seconds to return; as she slowly opened her eyes, she looked straight into Andy's. She saw so many emotions in the depth of his brown eyes. What stood out the most, was a concern.
As he watched her try and catch her breath, he asked, "Sharon, are you alright?" He was worried when she didn't answer him. With the shallow way she was breathing, he hoped he hadn't caused her to have another panic attack. Causing the woman he loved any more pain was the last thing Andy ever wanted to do. He thought maybe this was all too much for her. They were probably moving too fast. He was about to ask if she wanted him to give her space and leave when she spoke.
Finally, able to take a deep breath and stabilize her air intake, with a shaky hand she reached up and brushed back the hair out of her eyes. In a quiet barely there voice that trembled, she questioned, "Do you think maybe you could…" Sharon looked down at the covers not sure if she could ask what she was thinking.
From the uncomfortable look on her face, he thought, oh no here it comes. 'She wants me to leave, but can't find the words to say it.' Andy figured he would do it for her to save her from having to say the words. It would be heartbreaking; soul-crushing to let her go, but if leaving her was what she wanted, he would do it. For Sharon Raydor to be happy, he would do almost anything. "Are you sure you are alright? Maybe, I could... what? All you have to do is ask. You know that I'll try within my powers to give you anything you want." When she didn't look at him and still didn't say anything more, Andy sat up and slid to the edge of the bed. He was preparing himself to get dressed and go as he said sadly, "It is all right. I understand I'll just …"
At the same moment, Andy was saying he would leave, Sharon blurted out, "Do you think we could do what we just did again…soon? That was incredible." The shocked look on Andy's face made her concerned. "Wait, what were you saying and what did you think I was going to say?" Then her over-thinking mind starting running a mile a minute. She noticed Andy had sat up and moved away from her as if to make an exit. What if he didn't feel the same? What if it wasn't as good for him as it was for her? Sharon hadn't been with that many men and it had never been like this with Jack. Her ex was mostly into self-gratifying, then he was done, especially later in their marriage. She felt the need to apologize for assuming and before she could stop herself she said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't…
Andy lay back down beside her and softly laid a hand on her face. "No, oh God no. Don't even think that, Sharon. It was more than incredible for me and the answer to your question is yes."
Sharon looked at him confused. Her brain had gone from a sexual intense peak to a dejected low so fast that she was in a haze and now it was hard for her to focus. "Yes, to what?" She asked completely uncomprehending what Andy talking about.
He pulled her close to him and explained, "I'm saying yes to what you asked me. Yes, we can certainly do this again very soon." Relieved to see a smile form on her beautiful face, Andy rolled them over to where she was on top of him. She gasped at the quick movement. With a smirk, he said, "actually, I was thinking right now would be a great time, though only if you are all right. Sharon, you worked so hard on your physical recovery that I don't want to set you back. I know your hip still hurts you from time to time."
"Oh, I feel no pain." She wiggled above him her to emphasize her words. "I am in fact much more than alright." Growing serious as he looked up at her she said, "I have never felt like this before. The things you do to me Andy, are unexplainable, so I'm not sure I should waste my breath." Sharon shimmed herself to sit higher on his hips, "but know this, I love you and with you, I have found the capability to share my burdens but not feel dependent." With a smile, she flipped them over to let him see she was comfortable with him having control too.
He was surprised at her sudden move but didn't mind it at all. He liked the way her hair spilled wildly across the pillowcase. Andy had never felt this way before either. Everything was just that much more spectacular with this amazing woman. "What I love the most about you Sharon, is your independence. I would never want that to change." He leaned down and passionately kissed her. When they joined together as one, Andy was sure he had found his own sanctuary.
As he filled her body and her heart, Andy kissed away a solitary tear trailing down Sharon's cheek. Their lives had collided in a tragic way but it was as if they were made for each other, put together in puzzle perfect pieces. Though her mind drifted from the pleasure he gave her, Andy brought her body back to the brink of ecstasy. As the freefall overtook her, Sharon let go knowing that in the man she loved with her entire being, she had found her true sanctuary.
~The end~
A/N: I have mentioned this story struck a bit personal for me so thank you for sticking with it. I like to offer a big thank you for all the comments and reviews. I really do appreciate them all.
A/N: I need to thank bostongal for encouraging me to even start writing this over a year or more ago. A thank you to my Major Crimes/Mary friends for "reminding" me to just keep writing. A thank you to lissianne for all her help betaing for me and dealing with me in general. Also for her helpful suggestions and for her magical way with words sprinkled in here and there.
