Shadow belongs to SEGA. Helga and her family belong to Craig and Nickelodeon. Bold words like 'this' will indicate thoughts here since this whole scene was originally meant to be a flashback.


Shadow and Big Bob Pataki: Overbearing

"Helga, what is the point of all this?"

Here was none other than the Ultimate Lifeform accompanying none other than the Helga G. Pataki of P.S. 118 on her way home. Hardly ever had the irascible girl interacted with the stoic hedgehog, much less conversed with him, so to say Shadow had been taken back the moment Helga asked him to accompany her would have been a gross understatement. Plus, Helga had been unusually quiet ever since the unlikely duo had moved out of the sight of the female's classmates.

"Trust me, Quills. You'll thank me for keeping this under wraps," the blonde whispered coolly and conspiratorially, though she still never looked his way. Shadow hummed bit at the girl's cryptic statement.

'Maybe it has something to do with the Chaos Emeralds or Eggman.' Was that why she appeared to be so secretive? The only other plausible reason Shadow could think involved a certain optimist, but, heaven forbid, even this hedgehog would rather not incur the wrath of Helga Pataki just because he had a case of motor mouth. Granted, a nine-year old would naturally be no match for Shadow, but that didn't mean he didn't wish to avoid physical conflict with Helga. To the ebony Mobian, she was practically another version of Maria—albeit an angrier, feistier version, sure, but still...The last thing he'd ever wish to bestow upon this girl is harm. In fact, Helga, unbeknownst to everyone save Phoebe, Amy, Milo, Bonnie, and perhaps Mr. Hyunh, Brainy, and Ozzie, had actually grown to trust the onyx being rather deeply. She could never quite explain why, but then again, maybe that condition was for the best. Helga obviously wasn't a person used to revealing her emotions on any level beyond that of privacy, a fact with which Shadow could relate all too well—perhaps another reason they clicked so effortlessly.

'Which is why I'm going to be on my best behavior today—there's no telling what sort of people Helga's parents are.'

Although...if the blonde's usual rants were any proof to go by, Shadow had a strong premonition he'd be in for a doozy.

Before too long, Shadow and Helga found themselves at last in front of the latter's towering, medium azure home. To any other person, this location would appear to be as normal as most other homes in Hillwood. However, Shadow knew better than to judge by appearance alone. All of a sudden, a sharp intake of air from the right caught the ears of the hedgehog. What Shadow discovered turned out to be Helga taking in a deep, heavy sigh to steel herself. One would almost think she was on the verge of entering a prison meant just for her.

An incredulous Shadow wondered in concern, his neutral frown shrinking just a tad. 'Is her family life that bad?'

The sights and sounds that greeted the duo the moment after Helga opened the door proved to be all the answer Shadow needed.

Instantly, a loud, boorish voice bellowed out from the living room from the left of the duo. Shadow could see a dark umbra, cast by a huge, rotund figure, peeking out from the front of an old, burgundy armchair, a top of gray hair barely visible from the top of said piece of furniture.

"Hey, Olga, shut the door, would ya? You're gettin' the place drafty." If Shadow had only one word to describe the attitude of the voice, he would have chosen "indifferent." At least either that word or "blunt"...

"It's... "

The pigtailed girl spat only that much out in retribution before pausing. After a few moments of silence, Helga shook her head dismally, a weary sigh escaping her lips. "Oh never mind." If Shadow had been more emotion-savvy, he would have gasped at the uncharacteristic sadness detected in Helga's voice. She almost sounded...defeated.

If the melancholy affected Helga deeply, though, she didn't show for much longer for she quickly brushed her gloom and off and switched back to her usual take-charge self. "Anyway, let's—"

However, the blonde received a heck of a surprise when she swiveled her head to the side to address her companion. Right before the girl's currently widened eyes, Shadow now had the arm of a tall woman, dressed in a tucked-in shirt, skirt, and high heels—all in purple—and with blonde hair duller than Helga's, draped over his shoulders. The hedgehog had one hand on the lady's arm; the other was on her somewhat thin waist, supporting her weight. Due to the drastic difference in heights, the woman's legs were comically dragging out from behind her, much like how her head appeared to bob a bit occasionally.

Shadow, however, did not find the situation humorous even in the slightest. "Helga, I found this woman sprawled out on the kitchen floor! We need to notify the hospital now!"

Immediately sensing the misunderstanding, Helga chuckled amusedly as she waved her hands out lightheartedly. "Whoa, whoa, take it easy, Quills! Trust me; Miriam's always conked out like this."

Red nearly dominated the Ultimate Lifeform's cheeks, despite his efforts to hold the color in. 'Oh...I see.' Coughing awkwardly for a bit first, Shadow eased Miriam out of his grasp and situated her against the wall, making sure to position her so at least she'd be sitting upright. The ebony Mobian nearly offered a meek apology to Helga for his slight overreaction before a light moan from Miriam interrupted him, catching both his and Helga's attention. The out-of-sorts mother revealed her bleary eyes and adjusted her violet-rimmed glasses, taking in her surroundings a bit before landing her sights on Shadow. Much to the hedgehog's sudden confusion, a dazed smile came to Miriam's face the moment she saw him.

"Oh hi Helga, honey, when did you get a new haircut?" If Shadow had been more like Sonic, his face would have probably looked pretty ridiculous right now! Seriously, mistaking a blue hedgehog for a black hedgehog is one matter...but mistaking a black hedgehog for a human girl with blonde pigtails and a monobrow? How out of sync was this woman?

'Is she...drunk?' Shadow asked in his head, looking up for an explanation from Helga. The eye-roll he received in response, just like the male voice from before, clarified Shadow's inquiry. Speaking of the male voice...

A hefty, heavyset man in a green T-shirt, black belt, black shoes, and brown pants stomped his way from the living room and into the hallway. Needless to say, the man looked rather peeved about something. "Criminy, girl, can it with the shoutin' already! I can't hear my—"

Helga and Shadow knew instinctively they were in trouble the moment Big Bob's eyes landed on them and his half-conscious wife.

Everyone from a two-mile radius of the Pataki household could hear the Beeper King's irate yell, just as easily as if he were right next to you.

"MIRIAM!"

And that's how a closed-eyed, arms-crossed, leaned back Shadow found himself at the bottom of the Pataki stairs, patiently waiting out the heated debate taking place in the kitchen. Actually, the phrase "heated debate," as far as Shadow was concerned, would be more like a euphemism in this case...

"For the love of—what in crud's name were you thinkin', Olga!?"

"News flash: My name is Helga, Bob! So sorry it's so hard to remember after—Oh what was it again?—nine stinkin' years!"

"Hey, hey, hey, don't you go taking that attitude with me, Missy! You oughta know better than bringin' in some stray mutt from the streets!"

Okay, that insult had no need to be spoken—especially not so bluntly! Shadow could not help but deepen his grimace. 'Obviously, this man is too confident for his own good.'

Instantaneously, Helga's sarcasm bit right through the air. "Oho, so that's what you think he is! Well, Bob, you gotta give my 'pet' props. He would have put you to shame in a dog show...that is if you'd manage to even win second place!"

'On the other hand, Helga's more or less the same.' Sometimes that child just didn't know when to maintain herself. With such poor self-control, there lay no wonder then why her kinder side proved so fleeting and rare. She'd never be able to win Arnold's heart in such a manner.

All of a sudden, a hulking shadow descended upon...well, Shadow. This oaf of a father evidently had a few cents he'd prefer to dish out in the Mobian's face. Oh well, the sooner this bombastic blowhard was satisfied, the sooner Shadow and Helga could continue on to the business at hand. For the young blonde's sake, the ebony hedgehog proceeded to be silent.

Big Bob stuck a meaty finger in Shadow's face, snarling, "And you rodent...! If you think you're gunna sponging off of my house—"

A rodent...? Hmph, this swell-headed excuse of an alpha male should have been counting himself fortunate that Shadow had a reason to restrain himself. Otherwise—

"DON'T EVER CALL HIM THAT!"

All sounds dropped dead, silenced by Helga's audaciously heroic exclamation, every other pair of eyes widened significantly. If Shadow hadn't been just as shocked by this girl's move, he would have smirked at the sight of Big Bob's haughty persona deflating like a punctured blimp. However, even under the current circumstances, the Ultimate Lifeform compulsively felt a sort of pride towards Helga. Not many children, sans Arnold and Milo, would have been so bold as to confront such a brute of an adult, especially an adult of blood relation, although Shadow could tell quite well how far Helga considered her father—and by extension her mother—as actual kin.

Already, one could hear the broken pride as Bob stuttered, too shaken to form a coherent response, "B-But...Olga—"

Helga would not have his nonsense any longer. The sharply raised palm saw to that. "Shut it. You think you know everything about everyone else—Arnold, his Grandpa, the boarders, Milo, Bonnie, Phoebe, Sonic, Tails, Amy—when you don't even know your own family."

Once again, stunned quiet dominated the scene, so Helga did what she did best. "Now if you'll excuse us, my friend and I have bigger and better stuff to be doing with our lives right now." And just like that, Helga, an understanding Shadow right at her side, stomped upstairs, never offered her so-called family a single glance back.

These two had already overstayed their welcome.


I just love the Shadow/Helga friendship dynamics. I would have added a sort of epilogue, but I felt like this ending would suffice.