Chapter 12, whoah! c: This will probably be the last revised one, since I had a new oc, but later decided I wanted to trash that oc, so now I'm just going and finishing it~ I'm still deciding on what I should do. I want to make this fanfic the best I can~ And I want the story to progress well. *Sigh* let's hope that this will work out c: Enjoy~

disclaimer: Do NOT own durarara.


I woke up early, staring at the ceiling for a long time, only half awake. It was 5 in the morning, and I didn't understand how I was awake so early, when I hardly slept a blink last night. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to talk, and I didn't even want to breathe, in the situation I was in. All I could do was stare at the ceiling, not feeling at all.

I looked over to an alarm clock placed on the nightstand beside the bed, my empty glass beside it. It was already 7:30 am. I had been staring at the ceiling for 2 and a half hours. I heard the pitter patter of footsteps the room and was surprised that Izaya was awake at this time. He might've been awake earlier but I didn't notice. I ignored the noise and stared at the ceiling again.

Yesterday's events were haunting me. I wanted to believe that it was all a bad dream, but I knew it wasn't.

I sighed, and that's when Izaya slowly peeked through the door. I glanced over, faking a smile.

He walked closer to me, tilted his head and smirked, "That's not very convincing."

I sighed, staring at the ceiling again, "I'm just tired, sorry."

He laughed, "That's what you said yesterday, woman."

In all honesty, I was being more truthful today then I was yesterday, I was honestly wiped of all my energy, "I don't want to go anywhere today."

He stood back up straight, stretching, "Okay, that's fine. I have to go out on a few errands though, one of which is a new coffee place that I've seen." He laughed and mumbled to himself about coffee.

I stared at him, lifting my eyebrows. "Well, if you want coffee, then go get it. Finish your errands quick too.." I laughed, trying to make it sound as real as possible, "Or I'll get lonely."

I honestly really wanted to be alone for the time-being.

Izaya smirked and shoved his hands in his pocket, waving while his hand was still in his pocket. He stalked off, and as I stared back at the ceiling I heard shower water running, closing of doors and such. I then heard him leave the apartment and the door slammed shut. I flipped over on the bed and stared at the wall, I noticed there was tears running down my face.

The bedroom door squeaked open a few hours prior to when he left and I wiped my eyes, silencing my sobs.

I felt Izaya poke me lightly, "Cecii~ Are you awake?"

I didn't say anything, as I hoped he would just leave me be. I closed my eyes and buried my head in the blanket.

He let out a laugh and lifted his hand off my back, "Okay, I get it, I get it. 'Leave me alone, Izaya.' I'll leave you be!" I kept my eyes closed, listening to his footsteps flutter out of the room. The door quietly shut and I listened to him walking and turning things on and off and dishes clacking as he moved them and set them down.

I wiped my red puffy eyes and quickly walked to the washroom, hiding my face. I didn't want him to see me crying, crying leads to worry and worry leads to questions and I don't know how to deal with that.

After a long period of time, I figured it wouldn't be so obvious that I was crying and so I walked out to the living room, and sat on the couch in front of the television, resting my elbow on the arm of the chair while my right hand was placed on my chin, holding it up and hiding my face away; Izaya wasn't in the living room. I was just going to be patient and wait for him, but I had to admit I wondered what he was up to. I didn't even explore his apartment yet. I lifted my head up, placed my hands neatly on my legs and sat straight, peeking my head over to see if he was there from time to time.

There was complete silence.

I was wondering, maybe he had left without me even knowing?

I decided to find out. I searched around the house, knocking on every door and calling his name, but there was no answer. I found myself looking into a room where he stored books and information, which he was also nowhere to be seen. I decided to go out into the living room again, but strayed to the kitchen. I started pacing the kitchen, finding myself quite nervous. Why was I nervous? Did something happen? Or maybe I was afraid of really being alone and not knowing where he was. I couldn't even answer my own questions. I walked over and sat on the couch, crying once again. I didn't know whether I was crying over Izaya, or the events that happened yesterday.

I huddled my legs up to my chest and sat there, sobbing, not sure what I was upset over.