I knew you would be all excited haha ;)
Here's the next chapter so enjoy!
Beck closed the diary and suddenly the gang showed up "Please tell me you haven't seen Jade" Tori exclaimed, she knew Beck would have hurt Jade again.
"I have" Beck informed while hiding the diary behind his back "but she ignored me and kept running"
"Beck I swear if you hurt her again…I" Tori said upset
"I didn't tell her anything okay, she went in that way…" Beck pointed them the way and they started walking down the hallway to try to find Jade.
Beck stared at the diary for a few seconds debating whether or not he should read it; he didn't even know Jade had a diary so it was kind of shocking but at the end he decided to bring it home and read it.
"Jade, Jade, JADE!" Tori screamed several times but no answer.
"Where could she be? Hollywood Arts isn't that big" Robbie commented
"And even if we find her what are we gonna say? She doesn't want us to get into her life" André said
"But we want her in ours, I'm not gonna stay here and wait for her to do something stupid" Tori informed
"Tori, she is not even here, maybe she went home already" Robbie said
"I don't know…. Ugh anyway you're right she is probably gonna yell at us again, let's just give her some space for now" Tori answered and they started walking back to class but since it was already over they went for something to eat.
"Where's Beck?" Cat asked
"I don't know but I hope he is not with Jade" Tori commented
"What do you think Beck would say if he knew about… you know?" Robbie asked
"If Jade was still his girlfriend I'm sure he would make Eric pay but right now I don't even know, Beck's been acting weird lately" André answered honestly.
Beck went back home earlier than the usual because he couldn't wait any longer, he really wanted to read that book and find out the truth about Jade West.
"Today was my first day in my new school and I absolutely loved it…." Beck laughed at how cute the first pages were.
"Mommy and daddy have been fighting a lot lately, I don't like it when they fight, it scares me…." Beck knew about Jade's home life before her parents got divorced so it didn't really surprise him.
"Mommy came home with Eric again, he is nice and sweet to me but I don't like the fact my mom is dating another man…." Jade never really talked to Beck about Eric but it wasn't like he asked her.
"I'm turning 9 tomorrow woo hoo I'm so excited because mommy planned me a party and all my friends will come and it'll be so much fun….." Beck smiled picturing little Jade writing that, he couldn't even believe it was Jade's diary.
"My birthday was awesome, I loved everything and my friends had fun too, I'm also happy because I'm becoming a woman, that's what Eric said when he came visit me last night" Beck first thought Eric said it in a nice way but then "We played hide and seek and it was very funny but I didn't like the next game, Eric took off my pajamas and said it would be fun but it hurt so much, I wanted to cry so badly but he said I had to be quiet because mommy could wake up, He told me that's what people do to show their love but I didn't like it, I hope he doesn't want me to show him my love ever again" Beck's mouth dropped open as a sick feeling ran through his body, what the hell did that mean? Eric raped Jade?
"Eric came to play with me last night again, he's been coming to see me every night since last week, I don't like this it hurts so much, I always close my eyes imagining I'm in another place and not under him, I wish he would stop doing it" A tear started running down Beck's face while reading that, Jade never mentioned anything to him but why?
"Today I did something I'm not proud of but it made me feel better, I know it's wrong but that's the only way to make the pain go away" Beck didn't understand what that meant but he was sure it wasn't good "Press, see and enjoy… the red lines paint their way down wiping all the tears away, it's an unique and wonderful feeling" Beck looked up and closed his eyes in pain, he understood the message and it broke his heart, Jade self harmed.
"Why is my life even worth it? I've had sex with my mother's husband for the past 5 years…." Beck put the diary down for a second so he could breathe and recover himself, everything was so confusing "today I told my dad I want to be an actress and he got really mad at me but luckily he didn't kick me out so I don't have to go back to Eric, I'd rather get yelled at every day for the rest of my life than spend one more night with Eric" Beck felt so much rage but he also felt good because Jade moved with her dad and Eric couldn't hurt her.
"I'm so fucking mad, that bitch kissed Beck on stage I know she did it to make me mad but I just can't with all this rage, I know Beck and he liked kissing her of course he did she is obviously prettier than me" Beck had been smiling at Jade's diary when she talked about him but when he read this he felt so blame, he didn't believe Tori was prettier than Jade, for him Jade was the prettiest girl on earth.
"Press, see and enjoy..1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, those numbers on my skin will forever remind me how stupid and pathetic I am" Beck read that line twice, he couldn't believe Jade self harmed because of him, it made him feel like the worst person alive.
"I can't do that to a friend…." Beck got surprised, how could she know? "the fact he thinks I'm a bitch, that is what hurts the most and it makes me want to die" No, he didn't think she was a bitch, he only said that but deeply inside he had never believed she was a bitch, Beck sighed angrily, he hated himself so much.
"Today was my 18th birthday, my friends came and my mom left but Eric stayed and he made sure to remind me that today nine years ago I stopped being a kid, I could feel his breath on my face and his body against mine, his disgusting hands all over my body but I couldn't stop him, I felt so weak, I wanted to scream for help so my friends would come save me but I couldn't, It was almost like being raped again and again all at once, i feel so dirty" after reading what Eric did to her it was obvious for Beck that Jade wasn't agreeing which made him feel even worse, he grabbed his hair in frustration "Grrrrrr Beck you're an idiot" he exclaimed wanting to punch himself.
"What kind of twisted sick person are you? You are the most disgusting person on this planet, You are a- you know what? I don't even want to waste my time insulting you, you're not worth it… What kind of sick whore are you? How could you do that to your own mother? Gosh Jade I can't believe I dated you, so happy it's over, I don't even know why I'm here talking to you, you know what? Just leave me alone, I don't want to know anything about you ever again" Beck could remember those words, the exact same words he told Jade and obviously caused her a deep pain.
"Today Eric tried to have fun with me when I came out of the shower but luckily my mom arrived home, after he picked me up at school and drove me to a motel, I ran away but right now I wish I hadn't, it's not like I could stay away from him for too long, Beck and my friends made clear their point…I'm the worst of the whores, I came back home and I tried to make the pain go away but it didn't work, It only made it worse. I can't even see myself in the mirror without feeling gross; Eric came to play again tonight, mom was sleeping so we had plenty of time and I didn't stop him, I didn't scream or move maybe Beck is right maybe I like it, maybe I'm actually a whore….. god, how I hate myself" Beck was crying by that point, he couldn't believe everything his Jade had been through, he couldn't believe she was raped being a kid and she was still being raped, he couldn't believe how much pain he caused her, he couldn't believe how stupid he was, Beck only wanted to hug Jade and protect her, tell her that he loved her and ask her to forgive him, he only wanted to kill himself for causing Jade all that pain but not before killing Eric, that bastard had to pay.
So i hope you liked it, i wrote parts of the diary so you could know what he was reading.
Do you think this is over?... NO! but it'll be soon :/
Please review!
