THE ALICE BRANDON RECOVERY PROGRAM
OUTTAKE 3: School dances.
Before TTAB, during the pact years.
All week long Alice had been tortured with overhearing kids gossip about the Spring Dance: what they were wearing, who they were going with, who they secretly wished had asked them, who they were going to try and dance with or kiss before the end of the night.
For two months prior, she'd endured the torture of watching all the girls in the school get asked to go. All the girls, except her and Rosalie.
They were freaks. They did their own weird shit. No matter how beautiful Rosalie and Alice were - and they clearly were - no one would ask or invite them, or any one of their group of five.
And that was fine by all of them, except Alice who desperately wanted to go.
She wanted to spend a month planning the perfect dress, spend all day getting ready, take a cheesy picture with her date in her living room, dance in a sweaty room with other kids her age, and go through the night in jitters wondering if she was going to get kissed.
She never had to wonder about that, and she craved the uncertain feeling. Sex, even mindblowingly great sex, can get to feel pretty meaningless and empty when you have it handed to you on schedule.
After a particularly awful day where Lauren Mallory sat behind her for an hour describing her dress in unnecessary detail and flicking balled up bits of paper at the back of Alice's head, she stormed into Emmett's living room after school to find him and Jasper on the couch playing Halo. Edward was in the recliner reading a book.
"What's up?" Edward asked, sensing her terrible mood (which was not subtle).
"Nothing," she threw down her bag and just looked at them for a second. They carried on as if she wasn't there, totally absorbed in what they were doing. Emmett and Jasper were engrossed in fighting, and Edward's attention was split between the psychology book he was devouring and his own inner self-centered musings.
Alice gathered all her courage and tried to appear nonchalant as she asked,
"Hey, what are you guys doing this weekend?"
Maybe one of them could be persuaded to take her. She didn't care who as long as she got to go.
They responded with vague mumbles of "nothing", "I duno," and "meh".
Taking a deep breath she pushed ahead, zeroing in on the one person she really wanted to ask if she was honest with herself,
"Jazz. What are you doing on Saturday?"
"Uh, duno. Why?" he answered, not looking away from the screen, clicking the buttons rhythmically.
"Nothing, just wondering," she couldn't ask. Not in front of Edward and Emmett. And not at all really, if she was honest about it.
Disappointed with herself, and her situation, she curled up in a corner of the couch, being unnaturally quiet for Alice. Edward raised his eyebrows at her over the top of his book, and Jasper reached over to ruffle her hair. This annoyed her more than being ignored, so she shook him off and went to do homework in the kitchen.
.
A few hours later, she found herself sat in the kitchen eating pizza with Jasper and Emmett.
Emmett's phone rang. He answered it and got up, closing the kitchen door behind him. She looked to Jasper for explanation. He shrugged, and they carried on eating in silence.
"Hey, what were you asking about Saturday for earlier?" he broke the silence with his low raspy voice. "Did you need a ride somewhere?"
"Uh, something like that," Alice squeaked.
Could she ask him? This was her perfect opportunity to, they were alone and he'd brought it up. If she didn't ask now, the moment would pass and she'd never get to go.
The worst he could say is no, right?
"There's this dance, thing, at school. I was thinking I might go," she said awkwardly.
Jasper didn't respond at all, just raised an eyebrow and took another bite of pizza, so she carried on.
"I like dancing, you know…" as if confirming this, Alice bounced up and down involuntarily on the balls of her feet,
"Anyway, it's umm, the kind of thing you have to bring someone to um, go with, so, er, uh, you wana come?" she finished awkwardly, trying to sound like she was just casually asking instead of staking all her hopes on his answer.
She hated that she had to ask like this, when other girls had guys come up to them, falling over themselves to ask them. She knew she was an attractive girl who was fun to be around. There was really no good reason why she shouldn't have the same, except that she'd put herself in this dumb pact. And in getting four very close friends and a lifetime supply of hookups, she had alienated herself from the rest of the school.
Because she hadn't realized she wanted all that normal high school shit so much until she didn't have it.
At the mention of going to the dance, Jasper actually laughed. She tried not to look hurt.
"Why'd you wana go to that?" he asked, skeptically.
"I mean, we only get so many spring dances in our lives. Why not?" she reasoned, trying to keep up the casual thing but be persuasive at the same time.
She was glad to voice this actually. It was a scary thought she'd been having. She was missing all the typical high school experiences while they flew by her. Things she'd never get to experience again.
"Uh, sorry Al. Dances aren't really my thing." Jasper scratched his neck awkwardly. "Anyway, I'm with Rose this Saturday. Edward made me switch 'cuz he's visiting some aunt."
"Oh, right." Alice's throat felt tight and she couldn't say any more. The disappointment physically hurt her.
Maybe she could ask Emmett. Yeah, that would probably go just as well as this had done.
Looks like it's not meant to be.
No regular high school experiences for Alice Brandon.
"Sorry, Al," Jasper gave an apologetic shrug and went back to his pizza. At least he had the nerve to genuinely look sorry.
She got up and left before she started crying in front of him, because that would definitely freak him way out. She fucking hated that she didn't get to go to the spring dance with the boy she was crushing on, because he would be fucking one of her best friends, due to a schedule that she helped create.
This was not a situation a girl her age should have to stomach. They made this arrangement to make things easier, but suddenly it was overcomplicating everything and she hated it. If things stayed like this, Alice didn't know how long she could keep going with the pact.
