Hello readers! So sorry for not updating twice the other day like I said. I was about to start this chapter but then someone turned up at my house. How rude! xD
And since then I've had a NASTY tooth extraction and I've been writhing around in pain for so long. I'm sorry!
But here we go. Next chapter. I'm getting kinda stuck with this story if I'm completely honest. I'm not sure how many more chapter there will be, although I'm equally unsure as to how I would end this story. So alas, I cannot win.
Hope for some inspiration to come my way guys! :/
Love Ches
Dear Kurt,
I wrote a song today. A whole song. I just sat at the piano while Jackson was at school, and thought about you for a long time.
Then the words, they just came to me. I wrote a whole song in an hour, and spent the rest of the day playing it over and over. I caught Jackson singing it to himself this evening at dinner. He said he likes it because it reminds him of you. It's kinda about you, I guess. It's about this one great thing you have in your life that makes everything worthwhile, and the inspiration to carry on even after it's gone. You were my one great thing Kurt, you always will be.
Thank you, baby. I really needed that push to start playing properly again.
Jackson's piano lessons are going as well as can be expected. I can't believe you insisted on him starting so young! If I have to listen to a 'special' version of Three Blind Mice one time, I may cry. I hope he'll be like you one day, and find his voice. Can't have him being better at playing the piano than me now, can we?
I've got a job interview next Wednesday, I'm kinda nervous. It's for a post at one of the other school in the area, teaching kids just a bit older than Jackson. Music teacher. Of course.
Please guide me in my interview, I need you! Don't let me say anything stupid of stutter everywhere like the last time. That was too soon, after, after you had gone. But I feel confident now.
I can do this.
Jackson keeps making me play pretend interview with him, but somehow I doubt the board will be asking me if I prefer jelly or ice cream, and why. All I can do is try my hardest to make you proud. You could always put in a good word with the big G up there? Thanks baby.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that I have failed you! Your beautiful roses in the front garden, they are kinda dead. I'm so sorry, Kurt. I tried! It made me sad at first, it felt like another piece of you had left me. But after a while I found the funny side. I can't believe you ever thought I could keep roses alive. I killed a cactus, if you remember? A cactus. I didn't think that was humanly possible. Clearly these piano playing fingers are not green. Jackson found it hilarious of course. He kept some of the petals and we've made potpourri out of them. Lavender, your favourite, to help us sleep at night and dream of you.
Not that I need any help to dream of you. You are with me in my dreams every night.
Waking up seems more like the nightmare sometimes.
I love you Kurt.
I miss you more than I thought I could. I miss walking up next to you, and I hate that I can only dream of you now.
But I look forward to seeing you in my dreams tonight.
Goodnight, Kurt. I love you.
Blaine
xxxx
