Chapter 12. I'm afraid

It was another weekend and Draco sat down beside Ravenna and wrote a letter to his mother. In his last letter he had told her that he was friends with Ravenna again and she was not happy about that at all. He really didn't want to tell her what happened in a letter. Irin Malaway was her best friend and it would hurt her so much to know the truth. At least like this. But he couldn't handle it anymore reading those offensive letters about her. His mother kept repeating that Ravenna was a traitor and he has to keep his distance from her and it hurt Draco so much that he decided to find the right words and tell her the truth. The boy picked words very carefully, he wanted to tell this as gentle as it was possible not to scare his mother. It was awhile that she wasn't feeling well and he was afraid of what could happen after she read this letter.

"No, no, no, no! It'll kill her…" he mumbled.

"Don't worry." Ravenna stroked though his hair and his heart jumped inside his chest. "Just tell her the truth. She'll understand…I could write her if you'd like?" she suggested.

"No, I'll do it myself."

"Ok. I'm going to the owlry. I've already finished letters to my parents." She smiled.

"Ravenna…" he called her. " Sorry for the question, but…. Isn't it strange to call those people parents?"

The girl stopped at the door and turned to meet his questioning gaze. Then she went to sit with him. She took his hand in hers and started explaining:

"No, Draco. It isn't. They took me and taught me to trust people again. They helped me defeat my fears and to have the courage to look people straight in the eyes. They're my family. They are the most important people to me."

"Ravenna, I understand you. Sometimes I wish I had another family, another home. A home I could grow up not surrounded by lies and hate.

"Draco..." she touched his cheek. "You're not like your father. You're a good person. They taught you like that, but you are not mad on everybody in the world because of your unfortunate life. You aren't a monster like Lucius, because you can love and care for the people precious to you. And that is what I always liked the most at you…" she finished so quiet Draco could hardly hear her.

"Really?" the blond boy was surprised to hear such kind words.

"Yes, really." She smiled truly.

"Well… You always made people feel better, even when it's very bad. And that's what I always liked most at you…" he blushed.

It was so good just to sit like that and talk. They leaned closer… But that moment somebody knocked on the door.

"Oh, that's probably Blaise." She informed. "He came looking for you yesterday, but you were already asleep so I asked him to come today. You two talk and I'll go send my letters." She stud up quickly and disappeared behind the door letting Blaise in.

It was three days since Draco has sent his mother the letter explaining what had happened that night years before. There was no answer and he was worried about his mother. Gertrude – his new owl, was very fast and turned back with the letter the same day, but now… Draco was sitting by the window and worriedly looking in the dark. Heart jumped in his chest. He felt something was wrong. Suddenly somebody came in and put a warm friendly hand on his shoulder. He felt warmth and an exotic fruit and flower aroma mixed with sweet vanilla. He had always loved that smell. Only one person had that marvelous smell. It was special sent of Ravenna Malaway. Draco gently took her hand and put it on his cheek.

"It'll be ok." The girl said.

"I hope so.." he replied worriedly.

Suddenly they both saw a big fire red owl heading towards the window. Draco hurriedly opened it and let the bird in. He felt sick. With shaking fingers he took the letter of its little leg and the bird left through the window. Draco shaking from head to toe slowly opened the letter, run it through with his eyes and saw one thing he was so afraid of. His blood froze and his heart stopped pounding. His legs wouldn't hold him anymore so he sat down. He looked out off the window blankly.

Ravenna stood beside the shaking boy and tried to understand what was going on.

Unexpectedly Draco fell into an armchair and stared through the window blankly. She stepped closer and took a small piece of paper that scared him so much. It was a letter from a hospital.

"Dear mister Malfoy,

I am sorry to inform you that your mother, Narcisa Malfoy, had a heart attack. At this moment she's in the Saint Mungo's hospital. Please, do not worry, our healers are doing everything we can to save your mother.

Sincerely yours, administration of Saint Mungo's

Ravenna read the letter and understood Draco's horror. Narcisa was the only family he had and now that she's sick he's all alone. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I knew it…" silence was broken by a quiet, hardly hearable voice coming like out of the dungeon, but it was Draco's voice.

"Draco, it's not your fault.." she tried to calm him down.

He didn't reply. He just pushed her aside.

"I have to see her." He said.

"Yes, you have." She understood.

Draco entered the room and Ravenna quietly came behind. She didn't know if it was a good idea, but Draco begged her to come so she agreed. A horrible view greeted them in the room. Narcisa lied in a high bed without any signs of life. Her empty eyes opened, but she didn't know if she could see anything. She didn't know if the woman could hear them, or feel anything. She didn't know if she could understand what was happening. It was horrible. A table beside the bed was full of all kinds of medicine and different remedies. The room was full of nurses, every minute checking upon her. The woman was ghostly-white. Her glassy eyes scared Ravenna and she turned around to see Draco. He was pale and shaking, but the look in his eyes was brave. He was brave. She squeezed his hand for support.

What Draco saw inside the room was even worse than he had imagined. He never knew it would be so hard to see his mother, such a strong woman, lying there so weak. He slowly walked over to her bed and settled in a chair beside her. He took her hand into his. She was so cold…. Draco looked at his mother with pain. It was so hard to look at her so helpless. Narcisa was sleeping and didn't even feel her son's touch. Draco moaned and Ravenna quickly stood behind him. He slowly calmed down. It was good to understand, that Ravenna, strong and brave girl, will always be there for him, that she will support him and help him whenever he needs it. She was wonderful and he felt thankful for her not leaving him alone.

"Mother…" he whispered painfully.

Narcisa moved, but didn't open her eyes. It seemed she still had a hard time of understanding things. It took some time before she finally opened her eyes and saw Draco leaned before her so pale. She looked at Draco with her glassy eyes trying to recognize him. She tried to say something but she couldn't. It was so hard for the boy seeing his mother's empty tries. He wanted to help her, but he couldn't. He could only watch. Soon she was out of strength and fell asleep again. An hour more they spent beside her, but later a healer asked them out.

Quietly they reached Hogwarts not saying a word to each other. They went to their dormitory not speaking either. Just as quiet Draco settled in an armchair and stared blankly at the fire. Ravenna, not saying a word, went to the kitchen and came back with some tea and muffins. She sat beside Draco and gave him a cup. Then she took a cup of her own and drank slowly, thinking about what to say that would make him feel better. But he spoke first:

"Ravenna, I'm scared.."

"I know…" she put down the cup and motherly hugged him. "I'm scared to.." she admitted stroking through his blond hair gently.

It's been two weeks since and December was coming to middle. It was cold outside. Snow was falling hard. But that day Draco was very happy, because it was the day, Narcisa finally was let out from the hospital of Saint Mungo's. She was still week, but healers decided she could spend Christmas at home. Draco and Ravenna arrived at the hospital carrying a big bouquet of flowers and with wide smiles on their faces. The woman was still paper-white, but she stood bravely and smiling as wide as the kids were. Both of the little visitors hugged her and for the first time, since she heard that Draco and Ravenna were friends again, she gave the girl a friendly smile. Narcisa was quickly taken home. A nurse came in too, to care of her. Even though Narcisa claimed she was strong enough to be on her own Draco was categorical:

"No, mother, after what happened, I won't let you scare me like that again. You will have a nurse!" he told her.

"Ok, Draco, you're just like your father, you can never say no to him.." she laughed.

Even though Draco didn't like to be compared with his father he smiled. It was so good to be with his mother again he didn't want to make her sad. While Draco was having a conversation with his mom, Ravenna walked over the mansion, so familiar and cold. She helped the nurse settle in a room near Narcisa's bedroom. That evening they spent talking about everything. Before leaving Draco told the nurse to write him at least two times a week. At the door Mrs. Malfoy stopped Ravenna and asked her:

"Ravenna, baby, spend Christmas with us. Just like years ago… " she smiled so nice that Ravenna didn't have the heart to say no.

"But what about my family?" she just asked.

"Why don't they celebrate with us to? What do you think?" she smiled widely.

"Really? Narcisa, you wouldn't mind spending Christmas with muggles?" she asked surprised.

"Of course not! I never been so obsessed with pure blood like Lucius! So what do you say?"

"Ok" the girl smiled and left with her friend back to school.