Chapter Twelve – Not A Road Traveled Easily By Any

A/N: Oh man! Sorry I'm just posting now, I was all set to post and then thought "Why not just write five more pages?" This is the chapter when things start really happening! Lots and lots of things. The chapter will start off from Loki's perspective before switching to Ilmr's for the remainder after the double page break. The song in italics is The Offspring's "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and it always makes me think of Loki.

I never had a chance
It was really only you
With a thousand lies and a good disguise
Hit 'em right between the eyes

There was no second incident with Cuyler. Ilmr replaced the ring on her finger and Loki had not seen her take it off again.

It became more difficult to access his mother's chambers while Ilmr was within them. Once Frigga realized he had been intimidating the guards in order to get into her chambers despite orders to keep him out, she had enchanted the doors so that they would not open unless she expressly permitted it.

It vexed him, especially given that the only excuse he received from either his mother or Ilmr was a vague reference to the need for secrecy to ensure a truly happy event.

It sounded highly suspicious, especially given how taken with the whole thing Ilmr seemed. It wasn't something he thought she would have been particularly interested in, though perhaps because Frigga was excited, Ilmr was excited. And possibly because Ilmr very much enjoyed teasing him because it got under his skin.

Finally, however, the morning came that saw his servant waking him unnaturally early under the guise of preparing him for the festivities of the day. It would take great effort indeed if he was expected to be cheerful so soon after the sun had risen. Loki thought briefly that such an early awakening did not bode well.

He found himself utterly incorrect, before the end of the day.

The spread for the morning meal had seemed vast and he found that a delicious, sparkling wine had been laid out in small flutes to cleanse the palate. Both he and Ilmr, he realized, took two servings more than usual, though the evening meal would be far vaster.

By the time the afternoon came around, he had found himself well-fed, dressed tip-to-toe in his armor that gleamed from the attentions of a servant and an oil rag, and waiting for Ilmr's arrival in the banquet hall. And the subsequent feasting, which given the menu he had glimpsed and the platters servants were laying out behind him, would be two more days of meals the like of which he would not see again.

Both Egil and his wife Alfhild had declined to attend their daughter's ceremony, citing a delegation that needed their attention, though the missive they sent in their stead indicated their assurance that the event would be most enjoyable.

One of the more enjoyable aspects of the ceremony was watching Thor lead a small goat in, a circle of flowers around its neck, and brought to the altar where it would be sacrificed. The visual was better than any imaginings, and Loki had to call upon all of his strength to keep his composure at the sight of his monstrous brother and the small creature at the other end of the rope. Who Loki was fairly sure could best his brother in a game of chess.

Ilmr arrived shortly thereafter. New armor had been commissioned for the event, the breast plate the same detailed golden hue as his, an emerald and black dress underneath the various plates, buckles and bracers. She looked like a beautiful, terrible Goddess of War, her hair pinned back from her face but falling loose down her back.

She took his proffered hand when she reached him. "My lord." A small smile played on her lips.

"My lady." He brushed his lips over her knuckles. "What is it that amuses you so?"

She did not turn to him, but waited until a cheer rang out as they faced the gathered crowd to speak. "The goat's pet God of Thunder."

Loki choked back a laugh, at that.

After the joint sacrifice of Thor's minder, Loki led Ilmr away to a black couch with green and golden detail that had been placed at the center of the high table. They both drank deeply of the wine from the goblet placed in front of the couch, meant to seal the ceremony, and the banquet hall erupted into a cacophony of celebratory calls and the sound of plates being passed and glasses clinking.

"I fear I will not be able to wear this armor, two days hence."

"No?" Loki was trying to decide what to eat first. "Did you decide the menu?"

"I helped, most certainly. And no, considering I gorged myself at breakfast, and likely will again now."

He chose several cuts of meat and sautéed vegetables to start, though could not help but eye the massive, braised boar in the center of the table that was carefully being cut by a servant from the kitchens.

"I believe the smithee will likely be able to make adjustments to the armor, if we leave it with him this evening. You're a Princess of Asgard as of today, many such things are afforded to you now."

She speared a tomato off of his plate. "One can only hope that such wit remains one of them."

He granted her a wicked smile. "That, and a no-longer-secret place in my bed."


A month after their nuptials, Frigga had mentioned two things that had made Ilmr feel faint: children, and the approach of Odin's announcement of an official heir. Ilmr did not mention the former to Loki; he already knew of the latter. Soon was nearly worse than not knowing anything at all.

Since she had revealed to him that Cuyler had -finally- physically shown his distaste for her, not only had it not happened again, but Loki seemed to be more conscientious. Still neither had spoken a word of what they had said in Frigga and Odin's chambers on the announcement of their betrothal, of love, but whether he didn't know he was being so blatant, or merely did not care, it seemed to Ilmr to be in his tone, his manner, when it came to her.

She could not say she did not return the sentiment similarly.


Frigga and Odin had retired to their chambers suspiciously early after the evening meal. Ilmr waited several minutes before dropping a hand to rest against Loki's thigh, who gave the slightest nod; he thought it was suspect, too.

It was not long after they returned to his -their- chambers that they were called to the King and Queen's.

When they arrived, Thor was already there, genuflecting. Assuming a similar position, they waited; Loki had not allowed her to remove her hand from the crook of his arm.

"My sons," Odin glanced to Ilmr. "My daughter." He turned his attention back to Thor and Loki. "I call you here to discuss a matter that has much been on my mind. I have spent many years watching you grow, teaching you lessons taught to me. The time approaches, now, for one of you to take up my mantle, to put to practice all those things you have learned."

Odin was very good at creating unnecessary tension if he felt it gave him the upper hand in political situations. If he felt like being dramatic. It was one of the few ways Loki was like his father.

"Therefore, I have chosen an heir." Ilmr could tell both Thor and Loki held their breath, though it seemed to her that Thor seemed more anxious. "Thor, my first-born, in a month's time, I will bequeath my title to you."

Odin bid them rise and as they did Ilmr could see Thor beaming fit to split his face.

"Thank you father! I am most honored!" He did not wait to pull Ilmr and Loki into a crushing embrace and then turn to rush out; to find Sif and the Warriors Three, no doubt.

Despite Thor's manhandling, Loki had still not let her hand slip from his arm. "Thank you for the audience, father." Inclining his head, he allowed Ilmr to murmur her goodbyes before leading them back to their chambers.

He was silent the whole way. It was not a particularly long walk, but long enough. The hand he placed over hers on his arm gripped to her hand tight the entire way and did not lessen.

Only once they were back behind the closed doors of their chambers did he let her go to sink into the nearby couch. Ilmr granted him the privacy of the time it took for her to see to Fenrir and Vidar before seating herself next to him.

He would speak when he was ready to, something it seemed to Ilmr that few understood about Loki.

After a considerably shorter amount of time than she anticipated, he broke the silence.

"I am sorry, Ilmr."

She wasn't sure she heard him properly. At least, it was not what she expected he would say. "What?"

"I am fairly certain that Thor will make you Commander, sooner than my father would have, but now that I will not be on the throne, I can make no guarantee of when, if at all."

"I have been patient before, I can be patient again. What of you and your desires?"

He was quiet this time for much longer than before. When he did speak, it would have been nearly impossible for her to hear had it not been for her elven senses. "As much as I wanted the crown, it was mostly because it would have been a symbol of my worth in the eyes of my father as I stood next to my brother. I will not deny the lure of the crown; it has been driven into us our whole life that either of us could be king, that it was our birthright. I deluded myself into believing it still, though I've known in my heart for many centuries now that it was not true."

Ilmr understood this better than anyone else Loki had likely encountered, she knew. It had been what finally drove her from Vanaheim. He knew that she understood, and so she said nothing.

"I fear more for the damage he will do. Truly, he is not ready. I would not have been, either, but I would have had the wisdom to beg the time to learn what I did not know." He shook his head, straightening where he sat, drawing up his reserves. "It matters not, now." He did not sound like he meant it. Not entirely.

She felt for him. She felt her heart break for him. He deserved more than he seemed to always receive. "You are the God of Mischief and Lies; Odin's decree is not stone-set until the coronation, There are-" She stopped herself. Thought of Vidar and sparring and the way Loki tasted.

"What?" His voice was low.

She cast her eyes skyward. "Walls have ears."

He waved her concern away. "Heimdall cannot hear or see you. I made sure to hide you from his view as well when I decided to court you."

Ilmr let out a breath of a laugh in relief before continuing. "There are other ways to sway Odin. To change his mind."

"Go on." By his tone, he seemed to have already made up his mind similarly, but still wanted to hear his thoughts confirmed aloud.

"We can make him see the error in the choice, make him see how rash your brother is; that he thinks with his brawn instead of his brain, oftentimes. Thor is a friend to me but he is not ready to lead and may never be."

Loki watched her for several long moments before snatching her close against him where they sat without warning, pushing his kiss deeper with each passing moment, breaking it as suddenly as it had begun when he needed a breath.

"You are truly my greatest weapon, Ilmr." He stalked to his desk, searching for a certain book among the many littering the space. "I will force Thor's hand, force him to reveal how hot-headed, how impulsive, how unready to rule he is. Odin will be unable to ignore such a display as endangers Asgard and precarious political ties. Especially when much of the realm is gathered for his coronation and is there to witness it."

Ilmr smiled. "How do you plan to do it?"

A playful smile graced his features. "Jotunheim."

Her face darkened. "What?"

"I will lead only a few Jotuns into Asgard through one of the many portals Heimdall does not know of. Odin will unleash the Destroyer on them, when Heimdall alerts him to their presence near the Casket of Ancient Winters. Thor will be so distraught that his coronation has been overshadowed, it will take only a few well-placed words, if any are needed at all, to convince him to march on Jotunheim against father's wishes and so show father and the realm he is not ready."

While she was reluctant to do so, she nodded her assent. "I will let you plan while I bathe, and when I am finished, you will tell me what you need me to do."

"Perfect."

Jotuns. Jotunheim. Had there been another way, Ilmr would have spoken against him. There wasn't, she knew. There was no quarrel the other realms had with Asgard, with Odin, in the same way that Jotunheim, that Laufey, did. It would be dangerous, more so than anything that she had done before. It did not waylay her.

When she emerged from the bath, Loki was nowhere to be found. She sat herself on their couch with a book to await his return.

She did not realize she had fallen asleep until she felt Loki carrying her from the couch to their bed when he returned what must have been hours later. She wanted to ask him many things, but as she was still skirting the edges of consciousness, Ilmr decided to wait until the following morning.


She waited only long enough for the servants to withdraw from their chambers after bringing in their morning tea.

"Where did you go?"

Carefully spreading jam on toast, he sighed. Since their nuptials, both she and Loki preferred to take breakfast in their chambers. "I had to make arrangements."

Ilmr's eyes widened. "You traveled to Jotunheim? Alone? Are you mad?"

"The ring I gifted you allows you the same healing abilities that Asgardians possess. I do not fool myself for a moment, though, to think that a Frost Giant could not kill you as soon as look at you." She went to protest and he gave her a withering look. "I will not risk you, Ilmr. I do not want Laufey to know of you; or if he must, I do not want him to know who you are."

It was these moments that made other declarations superfluous.

"Do you not think it would be suspect if, when Thor does take your bait, I do not accompany you to Jotunheim? I have proved myself more than once to him as a formidable ally. If you think he would journey there and not request my presence, you are a fool."

He rubbed absently at an eyebrow. "Could this not have waited until after breaking our fast?"

She smiled over the rim of her teacup, her word echoing slightly as she tilted the cup to her lips. "No."

He smirked. "What I wish to show you will need to wait until nightfall, however, so I do hope you have enough to distract you until such time."

"I do, actually."

"Oh?"

He would not like it, but as she would likely be putting much of her free time towards it, it did not matter when he learned of it. "Your mother sent a missive last night after you had gone requesting tea earlier than usual today. I suspect that, as Thor is not wed, betrothed or even courting, your mother will request my assistance in planning his coronation."

"You will decline."

"No, I will not." Ilmr cut off his exasperated sigh. "Think, Loki. If you truly plan to do this, we must appear as though we have nothing to do with it. That it is simply the Frost Giants having found an alternative way into the realm. What better way than, after being denied the throne, we assist in planning the joyous occasion? Let me be that ambassador, and all you will need to do is appear happy for your brother and stand at his side disbelieving the turn of events on the day."

He growled, but nodded. "Very well."

"And this way, you will know exactly what will happen when and where everyone will be situated because I will have planned it."

His demeanor lifted and he laid a hand over hers. "Perfect."


Ilmr had been right; Frigga had wanted her assistance to plan the coronation. She had been very diplomatic and sensitive when she made the request and Ilmr had been sure to act as though it was only too much her pleasure to assist.

Truly, though she liked Thor, she agreed with Loki that he was not ready for the crown, not yet. But she was not willing to deny Frigga a request; in the time she had been in Asgard, the Queen had provided Ilmr a haven of maternal care and comfort the like of which she had never known.

As with both Loki's nameday and their nuptials, the amount of planning that went into the event boggled Ilmr's mind. She spent an inordinate amount of time with Frigga; though she couldn't complain it seemed at times as though Loki might.

After was felt like ages of sampling, listening, and seating arrangements but was actually only a fortnight, the day arrived and she rose to begin her preparation.

The coronation itself would happen at midday, after which would begin three days of feasting the like of which had not been seen before, even compared to the feasting that had occurred not two months earlier when she had been wed to Loki.

Loki had shown her many times since he had first gone to Jotunheim where in the mountains the passage between realms lay. He never said it, but Ilmr was aware that this was his fall back should something go wrong: he knew she could escape and that he could follow her and find her eventually.


Outside the entry to the throne room, Loki clasped her hands. He was very conscious of being physically affectionate in public, once he realized it endeared the people to both himself and Ilmr.

"I must escort Mother."

Ilmr gave his hands a squeeze. Though a departure from his normal, more subtle affection in private, she could not say she minded his more overt displays.

"I will join Sif and the Warriors Three."

It had been decided that Asgard's two warrior women would walk together to take their places for the ceremony. In part so that Frigga would have an escort, but Ilmr had made a case for it so as to remind the people that two of their most skilled protectors of their realm were women. In Vanaheim, women were able to battle alongside the men and she would see it so in Asgard, if she could.

"How is he taking it?" Sif did not move her lips and spoke low.

"Better than you would imagine." They had not had an opportunity to speak before that moment about the announcement and Ilmr imagined the question had burned in Sif's mind from the time Thor told her the news.

A raised eyebrow was the only expression to cross Sif's face. Few realized how canny she was, thinking her all brawn like the prince Ilmr knew she coveted. "And he has not planned any ill-advised prank for this event? No snakes where there should be sashes, no vinegar where there should be wine?"

Ilmr swallowed a laugh and cleared her throat. "No, nothing of the sort; I believe he's very much looking forward to the food as much as anyone else. All of the ceremonies this past year has predisposed him to these endless feasts."

Sif gave her a nod and a small smile. "I am glad to see that he has now other reasons to be glad aside from the hope for the throne."

With that, Sif moved to stand with the Warriors Three and Ilmr turned to the left to await the rest of the royal family.

She soon found herself standing alongside Loki and Frigga as the great hall roared its delight at the future king's arrival. Thor egged them on with delight as he passed between two rows of the guard, lifting his hammer into the air and shouting with glee.

She saw Loki clench his jaw out of the corner of her eye and she gave the faintest hint of a nod. Ilmr agreed: the display was the sort befitting of one not ready for the throne. Odin bore a look of long-suffering acceptance. Frigga beamed.

Just before Odin could name Thor king, however, his eyes glazed over. "Frost Giants."

The two words gripped the room with fear. The sound of the people gathered reached deafening levels near instantly. Out of the corner of her eye, Ilmr saw Sif glance Loki's way.

He was already moving, stepping closer to and in front of Ilmr and Frigga, two throwing knives appearing in each hand. Ilmr had not brought her weapons; they would not have fit anywhere on her person and it would look as though she expected an attack. Sif and the Warriors Three always carried their weapons, as did both Loki and Thor, but as Ilmr did not, it would have seemed suspect.

It was enough, it seemed, and Sif looked away towards the rest of the room, scanning for the enemy.

Two taps on the floor of Gungnir and Ilmr knew Odin had unleashed the Destroyer. Loki squeezed her hand and requested she stay with Frigga, pressing two daggers into her hand before he and Thor followed Odin down into the Vault.

The Warriors Three and Sif, with help from the rest of the guard, took control of, and calmed, the room. Ilmr remained next to Frigga as the room emptied of spectators, weapons at the ready though she knew she would not need them.

"This is most unusual. I do not understand how they could have gotten into Asgard." Frigga had kept her voice low.

Ilmr nodded. "I do not know what intelligence they possess, but they were always depicted in tales to me as particularly canny and dangerous. However they did it, it is likely not a road easily travelled by any."

That seemed to be enough for the Queen, who requested Ilmr escort her to her chambers, where her personal guard could watch over her if the need arose. Acquiescing, Ilmr returned to the great hall in time to see the Warriors Three and Sif watching as Thor and Loki spoke in hushed tones.

They did not speak long; it was truly a mere few words and Thor was convinced, all the while Loki trying to sway him away from the notion.

"Lady Ilmr! You will join us as well, will you not?"

She cast a glance to Loki, who had clenched his jaw. If she was going to be complicit, she would be wholly so, not in part. "Of course, I could not bear to stay behind where my friends, my brother, and my husband venture forth."

With a great laugh of delight, it was decided.

They left for Jotunheim immediately.


"You will take the utmost care, you will hang behind."

Ilmr abruptly halted her work saddling her horse hearing Loki just behind her. "I will do no such thing. Were we not useful to one another, you would not say such a thing."

He seethed. "Were you not dear to me, I would say no such thing. Do not forget that." He stalked off towards his horse.

Loki did not say another word to her until there was icy rock and snow under-boot in Jotunheim. "I implore you, be cautious." His voice was low in her ear before he stepped away and strode forward just behind his brother.

Ilmr fell in stride with Sif. She was relieved to see the warrior shooting her disconcerted glances. Though Ilmr had helped to orchestrate it, she was no less nervous for it. Fandral had been right; it was no pleasure-jaunt, and they would need to be overly cautious.

Thor had not gotten far in his mocking before the Frost Giants appeared before them, surrounding them. Laufey sat atop a broken, icy throne, eyes scarlet and rife with distaste.

Ilmr knew that Loki's plan was not to start a war; the mere act of traveling to Jotunheim would be transgression enough for Odin.

The silver tongue that Volstagg had claimed turned to lead swayed Laufey's mind to let their small party leave untouched.

Or it did, until she heard his parting jibe. "Run along back to Asgard, Princess."

"Damn." She heard Loki breathe from just behind her.

It would be a fight after all. It was immediately beyond the scope of what they had planned.

The landscape erupted all at once; the spikes on Hogun's mace sprang out just as she heard the metal-on-metal sound of Fandral's epee slide out of its scabbard. Beside her, Sif's double-bladed weapon unfolded while Volstagg swung his battleax off of his shoulder. She did not need to look to know Thor was ready with Mjolnir and Loki with his sorcery and his blades. Unsheathing her own sword, she moved into a defensive stance.

She was both glad and regretful that Vidar and Fenrir were not with them, but she had forbid it despite Thor's pleas. Nidavelir and Jotunheim were two places she would never allow them; they were hearty, but she did not harbor any illusion that they would fare well against the Frost Giants.

Sliding back onto one leg, she narrowly missed a blow from one of the Giants' icy scimitars. Using the momentum of the movement, she sprang up and forward, opening a gash across the giant's chest that stretched from his shoulder to his waist. His blood was so cold it stopped her a moment to catch her breath.

It was long enough for her to notice a Frost Giant approaching Sif's uncovered left side. Flicking a knife towards the Giant as Loki had taught her, she caught the Giant in his throat and his dying gurgle was enough to alert Sif to his presence.

A huge, icy club caught Ilmr around her middle and threw her halfway across the expanse. Landing hard on her back with a goran she rolled away despite the crunch of bone she had felt. Likely, she had broken a few ribs upon impact. She could feel them already knitting, thanks to the enchantment in her ring and she threw up a hasty parry. Fandral came to her aid, his epee bursting through the middle of the Giant a handful of seconds later.

"Don't let them touch you!" Volstagg's yell was pained. She flicked her eyes to him and even at her distance could see the black mark on his arm. Frostbite.

Loki had his back to her as he battled. Two giants stepped into her field of vision as she heard Fandral cry out in sharp pain somewhere behind the two and she redoubled her efforts, felling one before being able to focus more on the other. She could see Sif and Hogun carefully lifting Fandral from where he had been impaled by huge, sharp spikes of ice.

She heard one of her companions call out to Thor that it was time to flee. She wasn't sure which, as the sound was muffled by the reverberation of her blade meeting and shattering the remaining Giant's icy club. And then she bolted.

Catching up with the others, she spared a backwards glance at Thor, or what she imagined was Thor, in the middle of a maelstrom of ice that Mjolnir was spinning.

Loki's hand at her back pushed her farther forward, ahead of himself even as she heard the crack and crumble of the ice around one of the gargoyles that was apparently not a gargoyle.

"Hurry!" Just as she yelled, the sound became loud enough for the others to hear, the fear becoming evident on their faces. The great beast's leap shook the ground as an earthquake and they nearly lost their footing.

It appeared to have too few legs, which it compensated for with a massive, clubbed and clawed tail. Much like the Giants, it had eyes red as blood. Its face was an ugly, smashed-in grimace. And it was gaining on them.

A second quake, stronger than the first, rocked them. Thor. The ground underneath their feet began to crumble and Volstagg hoisted Fandral over his shoulder and continued on. It still amazed Ilmr how much his size belied his agility.

A crevasse opened in front of them, one Sif nearly did not make because of the clubbed tail that nearly caught her. Throwing her arm backward, Ilmr latched onto Sif, pulling her close and away from the edge.

"Heimdall!" Loki's shout cut through the sudden silence.

There was no answer. There was still an enemy too close.

The beast was missing.

And then a great shadow fell over them and they turned, watching as the creature rose up over them ever taller. Ilmr tried to think, tried to strategize. Anything to fell this creature.

They did not have long. A figure in red streaked across over them and straight through the back of the creature's throat as it let out a great bellow.

Thor.

But there was still no opportunity for Heimdall to open the Bifrost; no sooner had Thor turned to his companions, than Ilmr realized they were surrounded. Only this time, they were cornered on the precipice of a cliff. Neither Loki nor Thor would be King of Asgard now.

She gripped the hilt of her blade tighter, thought of Anleifr for strength. Her companions shifted from foot to foot in front of her, waiting for the Giants to make the first move. Only Loki was still, save for a slight shift that placed him a step closer to Ilmr.

Impossibly, miraculously, the Bifrost opened. It was not there to take them back however, but to bring one down. Odin.

The others may not have been able to hear the exchange, but Ilmr could. And it seemed like she and Loki had been successful; it sounded as though Odin no longer considered Thor ready.

She did not have time to think on it much. She found herself in the observatory moments later.

"Get him to a healer!" Odin ordered. Sif and Hogun carried Fandral away, Volstagg following to treat his frostbite.

Ilmr stood quietly next to Loki, watching as Thor and Odin argued. Thor much took after his father; both hot-headed and resolute. Though Loki tried to intercede, Ilmr watched in silence as Thor was stripped of his titles, his power. She watched in dumbstruck silence as Odin cast him out.

Without another word, Odin strode from the chamber as the Bifrost closed, leaving Loki and Ilmr alone. They stared at one another in shocked silence.

"Come." Loki's voice was raw, stiff. "We must return to our chambers."

He walked at a fast clip and she was hard-pressed to keep up with his long strides. He did not speak to her, did not look at her. Not until they reached their chamber doors.

"I will return presently. In the meantime, bathe. You must be freezing." He had looked at her, but kept his focus mostly on her hairline.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. Thor's banishment aside, Loki was shaken. She acquiesced, however. She was freezing; still covered in Jotun blood.

She would ask him when he returned.


Ilmr was not long in the bath; she had heard Loki return and did not want to linger. Wrapping herself in the green silk dressing robe, she hastened to their bedchamber.

She found him sitting on the edge of the couch, still dressed in his armor. Ilmr sat herself next to him, a hand next to his on the cushion, but did not touch him.

"What has happened, Loki?"

He was silent so long she thought he might not answer at all. He eventually nodded to the far corner of their chambers. She had not noticed Gungnir until that moment.

"I am King."

That was not it, she knew. "And?"

He seemed to be snapped out of his trance at that, glaring at her with cold, hard eyes; eyes she had not seen that look in since the first few days she had been in Asgard. When he spoke, his voice dripped with contempt. "And I have been lied to." A challenge, perverse and hating, surfaced in his eyes as she watched him. "I am Jotun."

Whatever she had been expecting, that was not it.

"What? How did you learn of this?"

"How did you?" He rounded on her. The tone of his voice reminded Ilmr that he was one of the more dangerous beings in the Nine Realms.

"I didn't. I asked how you learned of it."

His eyes narrowed. She would need to tread very, very carefully. "You do not seem surprised. Why?" He shouted the word in such a way that she felt for a moment as though it had torn a visible hole in her.

"Because I do not see how it makes a difference to me."

His rage lent him a speed she was unaccustomed to, and he was leaning over her, forcing her to lean back into the couch before she could register that he had moved.

"Do I not appear monstrous?" He hissed. And then began to change. "Perhaps you require a visual to assist you."

In a matter of moments, Ilmr was almost nose-to-nose with a bright blue, scarlet-eyed Loki, markings characteristic of the Jotuns etched across his face. In the warmth of their chamber, the cold rolled off his body in visible clouds.

Ilmr did not move, keeping her countenance calm but not impassive. They were nearly matched in skill when it came to battle, but with his rage and sorcery, he outpaced her. She had wed one of the most dangerous men in the Nine Realms. She needed to be very, very cautious, and she thought of Anleifr for strength for the second time that day before she spoke.

"It does not matter, Loki. You have been Jotun your whole life, whether you knew it or not. You have not been cruel or unkind -nor monstrous- towards me or any other despite it."

"I spent my boyhood hearing tales of the evils of the Jotuns and Jotunheim. Do not tell me you haven't." He hissed.

"I will not. I will tell you to be enraged at them, your family, for keeping from you what they should not have. But do not hold against me something I did not know and something I will not hold against you. Something I will not abandon you for."

The hard edge to his eyes faded, but they were still wary, untrusting. "Oh no? Why, because I am King now?"

Ilmr had the poor sense to scoff. "No, Loki, because whether you have admitted it or not, your affection for me is as obvious to me as mine for you must be to you. Because if the realm you hailed from had influence on your nature, you would have been thoughtlessly, needlessly cruel your whole life. Your rage, your upset now: that may be proof that you were born Jotun, that you can appear Jotun, but you are no less of Asgard for it. You are no less yourself than you were before you knew."

"Am I not?" He suddenly sounded exhausted and slipped to sit next to her again. He remained Jotun in his appearance.

Ilmr breathed a silent sigh of relief. She was steadily gaining ground with him. Her rage at his family could wait. She needed him to see first that she was still his ally.

"You are still Loki. You are still the same mischievous god that courted me; that I wed not two months past. And I would not turn away from you for the simple matter of your birth."

His hands were again the pale tone she had come to know so well. Tentatively she reached out, carefully taking his hand so as not to startle him. He seemed to have fallen back into his trance-like state.

It was a mere second before he tore his hand from her. "You cannot touch me." His tone was sour. "Will you not turn away from that?"

"I do not see how touching you today is different from touching you yesterday. You were Jotun then, you just did not know. I can touch you now just the same as I did yesterday."

She watched him glare at her for a number of minutes. She waited patiently under his scrutiny. Ilmr was all too used to such things, growing up under her father's harsh gaze and spending much of her time at the whim of a power-hungry Commander or with her mercurial husband.

He finally let his head drop with a sigh. When he spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "There was no chance of ever gaining Asgard's throne for me. Odin would never have given it to a Jotun; it was foregone that it would go to Thor. He let me think I had a chance for the sake of his own conscience, for the sake of sleeping well at night. He would have used me to gain a long truce with the Jotuns." He paused for only a moment. "I am Laufey's son, you see. He would have put me on the throne of Jotunheim so that the long quarrel would end. He would never have a Frost Giant sit on the throne of Asgard." He rubbed his hands together. "But now he sleeps. Mother is unsure of when he will wake, if he will wake. Thor is banished. And I am King."

There was steel in his voice, but underneath Ilmr heard his heartbreak. She did not remember crying for anything since Anleifr had died, but she felt her eyes well up and she blinked away the tears quickly.

Sweeping out of her seat, she knelt in front of him, taking his hands as she sought out his eyes.

"I do not freeze, you see?" She gave his hands a squeeze and at that he finally met her gaze. "For tonight -just tonight- lock your rage in your heart. We will face the deception of your family in the morning, together. But for tonight, be here, with me."

She thought he would refuse her he was silent for so long. And then he leaned forward, kissing her with all the desperation she was sure ebbed from his broken heart.

Without breaking the kiss he drew her up and shifted so that she was lying underneath him on the couch, his hands making quick work of the sash of the robe. He could not be bothered to wait so long to properly unbuckle and unlace his own clothes and with a wave of his hand he was naked from the waist down.

His hands slid down her sides as his mouth trailed hard kisses and nips down her throat. Without preamble, he shifted her hips up with a hand just as he moved forward and buried himself within her in one hard, smooth move.

Before Ilmr had done much more than moan, he was driving into her with the same desperation that had been in his kiss and she wrapped her legs around his waist to keep him from pounding her out of his reach. She gasped as the move brought him even deeper with each thrust and allowed the various buckles and hard metal edges of his armor to bite into her skin. She leaned further into him.

Lifting his head by his hair, she ran her teeth over his lips before kissing him again, muffling a louder sound from both of them as she began clenching hard around him each time he thrust into her. With one hand, his fingers dug into her skin and the silk of her robe. The other appeared behind her head holding the sash of her robe, which she felt beginning to tighten around her throat.

He wound it carefully until his fist rested behind her head, the sash wrapped around it tight. She gripped his hair harder. Loki twisted the sash tighter still until he could hear her breathing come in ragged, desperate breaths, and then began grinding up against her with the hard force of his thrusts. He seemed to be putting all his strength behind them and she could feel an ache in her thighs already.

Yanking back hard on the sash, he forced her head backward to expose her throat. A long, hungry lick ended in a bite just behind her ear. "Say my name." His voice was rough and low, desperation and danger, heat and want. Most of all: close.

She did, and came. Half a dozen forceful thrusts later and he followed her, letting all of his weight down on top of her as he caught his breath against the crook of her neck and unwound the sash from her throat.

She thought he would have laid next to her in his exhaustion, but instead he took her face in his hands. Forehead against hers, he whispered something in a language she did not recognize. She did recognize the feeling of the hair on the back of her neck standing on end, of a pit in her stomach. And then strangely, a slight thrumming in her veins pulling her towards him.

"I will always be able to find you now, and you me." He sounded more loving than he ever had before. He sounded resigned, resolute.

Ilmr felt panic rise in her, the like of which she had not felt in the better part of a year.

"Loki, what-"

"-Remember what I showed you of the way out of Asgard."

He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, and was gone.

She flew to the doors, yanking on their handles. They did not budge; he had enchanted them so they would not open, it seemed.

"If I do not return by dawn the day after tomorrow, the doors will open and you must take Vidar and Fenrir and flee." She heard him mumble something indecipherable. "They will draw no attention to you or themselves now."

She heard no more, despite her pleas. When she turned back from the doors, she gasped. Fenrir and Vidar had thick leather collars of some sort around their necks. More than that, they were no larger than the largest Midgardian hounds she had seen in books.


Ilmr had to idle away nearly an entire day in their chambers and she spent much of the time pacing. She threw as much as she could, as many pertinent items of his and hers, into her rucksack: nondescript clothing for herself, a book he favored. As much of her jewelry as she could fit and as much coin as there was in their rooms, which was considerable, thanks to the dowry. Wherever she went should she need to flee, she would need currency, or to trade for it.

She swallowed hard again and again on the lump in her throat. The pit in her stomach grew so large she thought it might consume her.

Nothing happened the entire next day and she thought she would go mad. If any tried to access the chambers she did not know, she could hear nothing on the other side of the door since Loki had left.

That night, she was roused from her attempt to read by a great quaking and a sound so loud she thought Asgard would fall into the stars. Rushing to their balcony, she saw that the observatory was spinning faster than she'd ever seen. That one figure wielded Mjolnir, breaking the Rainbow Bridge from the observatory: Thor.

Thor had returned to Asgard somehow. She did not know what had transpired since she had last seen Loki that would have constituted such a meeting of brothers. Loki's figure rushed Thor, Gungnir raised, but with a last, mighty blow the bridge disintegrated and a great explosion rocked the palace, tossed the observatory into the seas and the stars, and much to her horror, threw the two figures up high into the air and over the edge of what was left of the bridge.

A third figure appeared as the two figures careened over the edge of what was left of the bridge, catching them. It appeared that one figure let go and fell into the stars after the observatory while the other let out an anguished cry in Thor's voice.

Appeared. She knew Loki would not truly do such a thing.

But dawn arrived, and Loki did not. It was time to flee.


There were few people awake at dawn usually, save for servants. Usually. This day there was much commotion and she had to make for the passage between worlds that lay in the mountains with all stealth.

But first she wanted to find out what happened. The steady thrum under her skin that appeared at Loki's behest before he left was fading and it alarmed her.

Yet she was sure he would not have truly let go; merely appear to. There was no other option. If what he had enchanted her with made it so they could find one another, that it grew fainter each moment meant that something truly terrible had happened. She knew the truth in her heart though she refused to believe it.

Vidar and Fenrir could sense her urgency and both padded silently behind her, ears flat. They did not seem to notice their greatly diminished size, Vidar's head now only coming to her chest, Fenrir's to her waist.

Ilmr ducked into an alcove and the hounds followed just before two servants came around the corner.

"I always said he was trouble, no matter how much his princess changed him."

"Suppose it doesn't matter, now. One of the guards who was there said he let go. Let go. Fell into the great abyss. Feel bad for his princess, but it's a blessing in disguise for her, isn't it?"

Ilmr felt faint. He had fallen. Had let go. Of what she wasn't sure, but he had fallen into the endless abyss of space below the Rainbow Bridge. She understood now. Thor and Sif and the Warriors Three knew everything. He had tried to keep her from the worst of it, but Ilmr knew what Loki did: they would likely consider her complicit regardless. She was.

Turning away, she stole out of the palace with all stealth, as though she were sneaking through an enemy camp. And perhaps she was. Whatever the finer details of what had happened in the past day, it was enough that, compounded by the grief and rage of the discovery of his Jotun heritage, Loki must have felt that death was the better option.

Anger burst within her as stars in one's vision from a blow to the head. Odin had driven him to it. For now, she had to escape, but she silently promised she would return to avenge Loki.


It had taken two days to get to the mountain pass while avoiding detection. She remembered Loki had said that one had to have their destination clearly and definitively in mind in order to travel by this other road.

She glanced back from whence she had come. The palace and the surrounding spires still glittered gold in the sun. The Rainbow Bridge was destroyed, bricks hanging off the end like loose teeth. The observatory had fallen into the endlessness as Loki had.

The thrum under her skin had vanished the day before and she had allowed herself only the one night to grieve.

Turning away, she cleared her mind. She had decided the only place she could go now was Midgard. Going to Vanaheim or Alfheim was not possible, and she could not stay in Asgard. She did not want to be in Nidavelir though Dgol would likely have harbored her; there were too many memories there that she could not bear. The other realms were hostile. Vidar and Fenrir were no longer abnormally large, and so Midgard it would be.

She took many long minutes to focus and once she felt she was ready, she called the hounds to her side and walked straight to -and at the same time through- the mountainside, a hold on each of their collars.

When all around her stopped spinning, she found herself standing on an empty, gray walkway in front of a black river, Vidar and Fenrir at her side. There were huge, drab buildings all around her that looked like they would block out the sun in the day.

Midgard.

She needed to shelter them and learn better the ways of the realm without being conspicuous. She had chosen black riding trousers and an emerald green tunic. From what little she knew it was likely she would blend in until she knew better the typical garb of the women of the realm.

She walked cautiously, silently, through the streets. Vidar and Fenrir kept close on either side of her unbidden, sensing her unease at the unfamiliarity all around them. They were still tall and lanky and she brushed her fingers against their fur as they walked.

The thrum had not returned and it was a small comfort to have Fenrir with her. Grieving such loss was not the way of either she or Loki, but it took great effort to keep going and not sit down in her anguish.

She had not known, until that moment, how much he had invaded her life, had truly made her love him.