700 New Stories About Alligators Dying
By: I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
I can't wait until we reach the critical point of there being a painfully obvious author's Mary Sue self-insert baby alligator that Sewie obsesses over and becomes the psychotic devoted daddy of and pampers with ridiculous amounts of special treatment while it cries exactly like a human infant.

700 NEW STORIES ABOUT ALLIGATORS DYING

We join the Sewer King pulling a D'Void with his poor pet alligator who had come down with that mysterious plot contrived disease once again, like in all those previous stories about the same thing.

"Oh, no! My poor alligator is dying and I can't do anything but cry!" He burst into hysterical sobbing. "Sexy crying. Mmm." He rubbed his crotch. "Strong emotional release is so feminine and therefore degrading. It turns me on so bad." Then he scowled again. So hard the muscles in his face grew rigid. He rubbed them. "Ow. I think I broke my scowling muscles."

He got up and skipped off to check his ugly human children, obsessively wondering how much loot they swiped for him even as they slowly weakened from starvation and living in cruel neglectful conditions.

"Bye, seeya." He waved to the dying alligator, his focus fixed on material gain like all greedy self-obsessed freaks.

He wandered aimlessly down the hallway until he came upon a vomiting child. He recoiled.

"Ew! The disease seems to be spreading rather quickly," he said. He rubbed his chin. "Hope it doesn't affect me for the sake of the plot." He shrugged. "ZERO, ZERO, ZERO!" He waved his arms and strode away again.

The girl continued to vomit everywhere and cry and shake uncontrollably before she eventually passed out.

After two minutes, Sewer King came back from his useless filler wandering around for no reason and saw his dead alligator and started crying.

And that's it. That's the whole story.

THE END