We gather ourselves and my resolve to make this right between us comes back with a vengeance.
I debate what to say as we emerge from the room. How can I express how sorry I am? How can I express that I did it because I love him; that I only wanted him to be happy? That even though it sounds pathetic, it's the God's honest truth?
I decide to start simply. "I made a mistake."
Fitz turns. "We both did. It won't happen again."
That's not what I meant. I don't regret being with you. "I was talking about Defiance."
He stalks back so that our faces are only inches apart and his words cut through me like a blade. "That wasn't a mistake. That was betrayal. We are done. I may not be able to control my reactions around you, but that does not mean I want you. We are done." And he walks away, his back turned to me. Just like my dream.
I feel faint, and sick to my stomach.
He hates me.
What we just shared wasn't about love for him.
It was just sex.
He. Hates. Me.
And nothing I say, or do, is going to fix that.
