Chapter 13: Black Hole

It's just after Prim and my Mother leave that the roses come. Peeta had just left the room to go get some food down in the cafeteria. There are so many of them, an extravagant show of wealth. Their sick stench quickly fills the hospital room as they are brought in and I feel sick at the sight of them. The orderlies seem to struggle under the weight of the glass vase as they set it down on the hospital room's dresser. Coin quickly follows behind, her heels clacking loudly across the tile floors.

"Miss Everdeen, this has arrived for you." She says, she seems irritated and I wonder who shoved a stick up her ass.

"Who's sick enough to send me roses? And why do they have a presidential escort?" I ask, growing even more concerned by the moment.

"I must say I'm rather disappointed in your logic skills at the moment, Miss Everdeen. I would have assumed that after your time in the games you would be accustomed to Snow's cruel displays of power."

"The roses—they're from Snow?" I say in disbelief. At the sharp nod of her head, I blanch. My shock is quickly replaced by anger however, "How the hell did he manage that? You mean to tell me that you just let the number one enemy of the revolution send me flowers?" My voice gets higher with each word as does my fury, "What if they were poisonous? Or if there was a bomb concealed in them?"

Coin waits until I am finished with my tirade, looking at me as though I am a toddler throwing a temper tantrum over a toy, "Miss Everdeen, I assure you that the roses went through several, very thorough, security scans. They were completely clean, even the letter was checked for any foreign toxins."

"What letter?" My stomach fills with dread at her statement.

She walks over to the roses and carefully detaches an envelope from the flowers, "Here," She says as she hand it to me.

I tear open the letter, (it must have been resealed after the search, there's no way in Hell coin would have left it unread) and nearly vomit at the overwhelming smell of blood and roses that emanates off of the paper. The handwriting is neat and precise; it elegantly curves across the paper, delivering its evil message:

Dear Ms. Everdeen,

I would just like to congratulate you on the birth of your son, Caelum Asher Mellark. I must remark on the boy's interesting name, I assume that it traces back to that night on the beach during the games? How very heartwarming. I hear that Caelum has Peeta's eyes and your hair, two very distinctive features; he will surely grow up to be very handsome. That is as long as he gets the opportunity. I would like to appeal to your maternal side, Ms. Everdeen. After all, is it really best to raise a child in the midst of a rebellion? I'm sure that our dear friend President Coin has already asked you to act as the Mockingjay. I merely ask you, Ms. Everdeen, to really think about what you're agreeing to. Caelum will surely live an unpredictable, most likely, unsafe life. He will become a high profile target for all parties. Is this the kind of life you wish your child to lead, surely not? I am asking for a ceasefire, so that the citizens of Panem will no longer have to live in fear. Think about your son, wouldn't it be nice to have him grow up in a safe environment? To have him live a long and full life? To enjoy his family and friends? Our dear friend Cinna tells me every day how badly he wishes to meet young Caelum. Wouldn't it be lovely to make this possible? It surely won't be if you continue as Coin's Mockingjay. I implore you to mull this matter over carefully.

Best Regards,

President Snow

I feel as though I cannot get enough air in my lungs. This letter has hit so many nerves that I've been reduced to a state of numbness. I have so many questions; how does he know Caelum's name? How does he even know Caelum's been born? Then, the taunt about Cinna. I know he's dead, he has to be. After the display before the games there is no way Snow would let him get away without paying the ultimate price. He's just toying with me now.

"H—have you read this?" I choke out, glancing up at Coin. I already know the answer, but I want the affirmation.

"Yes, I have. In fact, I had the option to withhold this from you. I hope this shows you how different things are here in thirteen. I severely doubt that had the roles been reversed, Snow would have shown you this letter or given you the roses. Do not be tempted by his offers, Miss Everdeen, he is merely trying to throw you off your game. Do not let him."

I nod my head and she turns to leave, "Wait—" I say, she stops and looks back at me, "Could you have those taken out of here?"

She pauses and examines the roses, taking one in her hand and caressing the blood red petals, "No, Miss Everdeen, I do believe I'll leave them here as a reminder to you of this meeting." She carefully places the rose back and then walks out the doors.

I lean my head back on the hospital pillow, trying to take small breaths as to limit my intake of the sickly smell. This encounter with Coin unnerves me; she does not trust my loyalty to her. I cannot get snow's letter off my mind, the threats he wove so delicately throughout it haunt me, as do coin's carefully worded warnings. This makes me question, for the first time, if I'm on the right side.

...

When Peeta comes back, I show him the letter and describe my meeting with Coin. He takes it all in without saying a word. Finally, after I've finished, he walks over to the baby's bassinette and picks him up. He rocks him back and forth, still silent.

After what seems like ages, he speaks up, "I'm sorry, Katniss."

"What are you sorry for, Peeta? You didn't do any of this."

"No, but I should be able to protect you and Cae somehow, but I can't. We've been a family for three days, and I've already failed you." He turns his eyes up to look at me and the heartbreaking waves of blue pierce my heart.

"Peeta," I say softly, "Don't think that, you are the best man I have ever met. You've always been there for me when I needed you and we've gotten through so much. Don't quit on me now, we will get through this.

He opens his mouth to say something, when, for what seems like the billionth time today, the sliding doors open. We both look up to see Gale standing there, holding a small plush teddy bear in his arms. He pauses when he sees the looks on our faces.

"Get out." Peeta growls, the harsh tone of his voice seems so unnatural compared to his normally happy and carefree demeanor.

"Peeta, relax." I say, I'm curious as to what Gale has to say.

"Relax? After what he's said to you?" I stand up and place a hand on his shoulder. "Here, I'll take Cae and why don't you go and check up on things at work. You've barely left this hospital room for three days, I'm sure they'll have something for you to do. I'll handle this." He hands over Caelum, but I can see the reluctance in his eyes. I kiss him softly and he embraces me before leaving. I watch him go then turn to look at Gale expectantly.

"I—um—brought this for you," he says waving the teddy bear and then setting it on the bed, he then jams his hands in his pockets, a habit he's had since we were kids. "They're much more frugal and conservative around here, but I managed to pull a few strings to get the little tyke that." He seems impressed with himself, so I naturally feel the need to shoot him down.

"Oh thank you so very much, Gale!" I say with mock gratitude, "This fixes everything! Not talking to me for months and then screaming at me when I wake up from a coma! We'll be best friends forever!" I scowl after I finish my little act and he looks down, ashamed.

"I'm really trying, Catnip, or should I call you Katniss now, I'm not really sure." He mumbles. I know he's not really talking about my name, he's asking about our friendship. Gale's never been very good at facing his problems.

I sigh, and put Cae down, "Gale, I don't know, I just don't understand what you want me to do here. Between you and Prim I feel so lost and confused."

"It's just hard, Katniss, you have no idea. I relate to Prim in a sense that you were our staple. You were always there for us, holding us together when we needed you and then one day you were just—gone. When they pulled Prim's name during the reaping, I knew things would change, but I had no idea how much." I see tears glimmering in his eyes, threatening to fall, but he wipes them away before they get the chance. He's never been one for displays of emotion.

"Gale, I want us to be friends, I really do, but you need to accept that I've changed. I love Peeta; we have a son. I've grown up, Gale."

"I understand, I do, I'm happy for you, Katniss, really."

His attempt at a smile breaks my heart and I know that I've forgiven Gale, whether I want to or not. We've been best friends since we were small, he knows me almost as well as Peeta does. He's trying, I can tell and I'm willing to give him a second chance.

"Alright, Hawthorne, I believe you." I say with a grin as I pull him into a bear hug. I hadn't realized how much I missed him until now.

"So Katniss, you mentioned earlier something about Prim, what's going on?" he asks. My elated mood quickly turns sour at the mention of this.

"I failed her, Gale. I wasn't there to protect her when she needed me." I say quietly.

"Did she tell you all this?" he asks. I nod my head and he continues on, "Catnip, that's just Prim, you know her. She's having a rough way to go and she needs somebody to take it out on, you can't take her too seriously, she's just a kid."

"She said she lost someone during the bombings, do you know anything about it?"

Gale's face darkens, "We all lost people during the invasion. Prim had been seeing the florist's son, Cedar, do you remember him?" I think about it and an image of a tall, auburn haired boy comes to mind, I nod my head, "The town was hit first, as I'm sure Peeta's told you and very few of the merchants made it out alive. Cedar and his family were among those we lost. Rory lost someone too, he'd been out with a girl named, Sage, a few times. She was out trading in town when the bombs were dropped. Prim and him have been spending a lot of time with each other lately, they've been helping each other cope with the whole thing."

"That's good that they have each other, I think that's the only thing that got me and Peeta through after the games." I say.

"Katniss, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I was stupid and immature, I should have supported you." Before I can respond, Caelum wakes up and starts to cry. I scoop him up and attempt to quiet him.

"I'll catch up with you later, Catnip." Gale says, he waves and shuffles out the door, leaving me with a heavy heart and a lot on my mind.