Richelle Mead owns these characters.

Chapter 12: Lovers At A Great Divide.

It surprises me how much the old man still seems to make some kind of sense of the world. Especially at such an old age. He knew a lot and he knew me, so ultimately his convincing words would soon make an impact. It was just a matter of when. Last night I didn't get very much sleep, my mind seem to be in overdrive and I found myself coming to a conclusion. It was about everything, all that went on this past week and what a crazy week it was. This morning breakfast was silent as I pondered over my thoughts and feelings. Abe didn't even attempt to make conversation and just read the paper as I ate in silence. It was a first time in a long time that we had ever had that kind of moment. It was sort of a silent understanding.

It seemed the whole day had this silence about it and school was no exception. I sat in class and actually focused, I ate lunch alone and every time I passed one of my "friends" I avoided them at all cost. Well, almost all of them, I spotted Eddie walking toward my car as I was getting ready to leave for work. 'Roses, couldn't find you anywhere today?' I shrugged and closed the passenger door and began walking around the car to the driver side, where he was standing. 'Yeah, well, I'm not exactly too keen on being found today.' He nods and smiles sadly at me, letting me know without words that he had heard of the fallout between me and everyone else. 'So you and Belikov, huh?' I close my eyes and sigh at the statement. 'Look, Eddie if your here to bust my balls over that too then don't bother. I've had enough of everyone's shit, okay?' 'I'm not trying to do that, Rose. I just wanted to tell you, you guys got my support and who cares who says what. If you want to be with him and he wants to be with you, then fuck everyone else. Screw em, Rose, do you.' I take Eddie's words in carefully, a little unsure of what he's just said and watch as he doesn't laugh at me. 'Really?' He smiles and nods at my surprised look. 'Really. I actually think your good for each other, I mean it's kind of weird, but I get it.' I smile at his kindness and remember that this was how Eddie always used to be.

I hold back the news of how Dimitri and I had ended whatever had happen. Well, how Dimitri had ended whatever we were and just let Eddie think that his kind words had made my day. The truth is they actually did kind of make me feel better. 'Thanks Eddie, for saying that and being a good friend.' He nods and smiles as we lean in to hug each other. After our goodbyes and see ya's, I drive to work in a better mood than I was when I drove to school. As I worked I found myself more in my head than anywhere else. Abe's words kept creepily popping up in my head and I kept going over them and questioning whether or not I wanted to put myself out there again. Dimitri was a complicated guy and that was no question, but was he worth taking that risk again? It was obvious he made me happy and that I had some kind of effect on him. I just didn't know what it meant or if he was willing to try again. The one thing I knew I had to prepare myself for was getting answers from him. That's all I really wanted and exactly what I had to do in order for us to even be friends again. The problem was how.

...

His house was darkened by the lack of street lights in the neighborhood. As if it was hiding, but I remembered it exactly. The old raggedy truck his father drove wasn't there, but there was a light on in the window. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to go and see what happens. Now if only I could get out of my car and do what seemed so easy to do in my head. I had just mailed my applications for college and as always, the old man's words seem to take effect as I knew Dimitri lived close by. The night was still, the cold making a deeper effect since it was now the beginning of winter. I had already been sitting in my car since driving up about ten minutes ago. It was just me being nervous and thinking too much. I swallowed the fear and nervousness as I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened my car door. Once I stood out into the night, I clutched my coat tighter around myself and then proceeded to walk across the road into the yard.

Once I was in front of the door, the nervousness and fear seemed to hang around me even more. I closed my eyes and knocked, taking a step back and waiting for what felt like ever for the door to open. A click of the lock and a small second later, Dimitri had opened the door and as soon as our eyes made contact; I couldn't look away. It was odd in that moment because I knew then that I didn't want to give up on him. That whatever I was feeling for him was becoming clearer and clearer. 'Hey...' His eyes widened when he processed it was me at the other end of the door. Then he relaxed and stood in the tiny spot between the door and wall. 'Rose?' Well, it was now or never. 'I-um I didn't see your dads truck outside, so I thought I'd see if you were home.' He swallowed and looked out to the street and then quickly back to me. The silence at that time was heavy. So heavy I almost felt like I couldn't breathe. 'What do you want, Roza?'

I wanted to smile at the sound of that name. How it left his lips so easily and hung in the air. I hadn't heard it in a few days and was surprised at how much I had missed it. 'I just- I just wanted to see how you were... If you were okay, you know...' I couldn't think of anything else to say after that, well, I could. Although I didn't want to push my luck by having him runaway again. So I just let the silence speak for me. He kept his face stoic, but his eyes wondered everywhere except on mine. He almost looked as if he was making sure no one else was around. As he checked everything over again, he stepped aside and opened the door a little more. 'Come inside.' I followed him in and stopped in the middle of the living room as he shut and locked the door. 'You haven't been to school. I was wondering if you were okay.' He stands beside me and watches as I uncomfortably play with the buttons on my coat and avoid his questioning gaze. 'I'm fine. What are you doing here, Rose?' I swallowed the heavy feeling in my throat and take notice of the name change. I should've told him the real reason why I was here and make everything more complicated for us or for me. However, the moment I open my mouth to tell him I missed him, I couldn't get the words out. I wasn't sure if he would go and push me away again. I didn't want to risk that, I just wanted to stay and be with him.

'You shouldn't have come here. Thank you for being concerned, but I told you we weren't-' 'A good idea, I know.' I looked down to my feet a little embarrassed and sad that he wasn't happy to see me. Maybe I was wrong, maybe thinking to just show up and see what happens was a stupid idea, but once I made up my mind. There wasn't any going back and although I was afraid he would say or do something like this, I still wanted to see him. I shook away the disappointment and frustration. I sighed and faced him as he folded his arms across his chest and waited for me to say something. I took this moment to take him in. The way he stood silent and tall, the way the muscles of his forearms flexed as he anticipated what I would say next. The way his eyes watched me with that confused, but slightly eager gaze. I decided I wasn't going to hide from him and I wasn't going to hold back. I'd show him how easy it would be to let yourself out to someone. To tell the truth and not let the worry, shame or fears of what he was holding back keep him from me. 'Look, Dimitri, I know you think you're doing me a favor by keeping me away. That you think it's for the best to do that for whatever reasons you have, but you're not.' As he stood there and what I assumed took my words in, I stepped closer unknowingly. I wanted to be close to him and that pull wasn't letting me fight it.

'It's not better that way and it's not going to make me just forget you, I can't do that. I'm taking a big chance on you whether you want it or not.' On every word I spoke I slightly stepped closer to him. He backed up only once and hit the wall lightly. I stood in front of him and kept our eyes on each other. I wanted to kiss him and tell him all these other things that he didn't need to do to push me away, but mostly I wanted to push him. I wanted to get him to tell me something back, whether it was him telling me to leave or something else entirely. I just wanted him to know what it was like to have someone not give up. 'Dimitri.. Let me help you. Please, just let me-' 'No.' He shook his head and stepped aside walking away from my close proximity. There was an emotion in his eyes I had caught before he moved, but I couldn't tell if it meant he was giving in or not. He took a deep breath or two and continued to pace a little. He shook his head once again as if he was trying to get what just happen out of his head. I tried to step closer to him in comfort, but he stepped away quickly. 'You don't understand!' His voice boomed out of the silent house and I flinched at the sound. His body became rigged; his eyes everywhere else but on me and his breath came out in huffs. He was either about to panic or getting angry, I couldn't tell. 'You don't get it, Rose, no one understands!' 'Well then make me understand. What is so wrong about us? What's wrong with wanting to be with you?' he began pacing a little more now and I wanted so badly to touch him.

I kept my distance though and watched as he struggled with whatever it was he was going through. 'I just want to help you, Dimitri. That's all I want, I just want to-' 'I'm not worth it, Roza!' He suddenly stopped pacing and his eyes stayed on me this time. I spotted the pain and hurt in them as he stood in front of me. His yell still echoing in the room and my head. He said it with so much certainty, he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and I still didn't believe it. 'I'll hurt you, Rose. I hurt everyone I care about.' It was a soft whisper lingering in the quiet intense room. I watched in a numb stare as he avoided my eyes and kept his sorrowful gaze on the floor below him. I slowly stepped closer to him and continued when I saw he didn't move back this time. I reached out and clutched his black t-shirt in my small fingers as his arms hung to his sides. The only thing I heard in the room was my footsteps across the squeaky hardwood floor. I tried pulling him to me, just so he would be closer and not feel any kind of loneliness. 'What are you talking about, huh?' He shook his head at my whispered words and didn't move to touch me as I was touching him. 'Just go, Roza. I'm sorry I hurt you and for-' 'You didn't hurt me, you've never hurt me.' He backed away from me and faced me for this first time in a while. His eyes were sad and the frown he was showing had some confusion in it. 'I left you. I pushed you away, made you feel used. All you have done is be there for me and I go and ruin everything.' I once again walk closer to him and by his shirt pull him closer to me. The distance between us makes me ache to pull him even closer. 'You were just trying to protect me, right?' 'It's no excuse, Rose.'

He kept his head down and looked away from me. His hands shot out running through his hair and I took the chance to wrap my arms around him. I just held on to him as he slowly rested his head on my shoulder. We stayed quiet like this for a while, as I let him relax, but kept questioning everything in my head. 'You should just give up, Roza. You won't feel the way you do when you know the truth.' In that moment I knew what this meant. I knew what I was thinking and feeling was only because of my feelings for him. I still felt like I could trust him and I knew I had enjoyed our time together. I liked being there for him and the fact that he was himself with me. So all these things that he's hiding from me and the fact that I felt wouldn't change how I felt about him, only led to one thing. I wouldn't give up. I'd fight just like the old man said to. 'That's not likely. I'm already in love with you. So, I couldn't give up on you if I tried.' He didn't say anything after that, so I just stayed there with him.

...

It was sometime later when I found myself in his room. It was small and freakishly cold, but it reflected him in every way. He had a small shelf full of books, one picture on his dresser and no TV. We were on his bed and I had my head on his chest with one of his arms across my side. His bed sort of took up most of the room, but he was a tall guy. It was quiet as we lay here and went over the revelation I had made. He still hadn't said anything, but with everything going on I was willing to give him the time. His eyes were closed and I watched as the peace washed over his features. I wanted to touch his face and lips, but I didn't want to push anything. So I continued to lay there and soak up the quiet moment we were having. 'Roza?' 'Yeah?' He took a moment to reply and I kept my eyes closed waiting for him to finish. 'Did you- did you mean what you said?' I knew what he was referring to and as much as I wanted to open my eyes, for some reason I kept them closed. 'Yeah.' I heard him swallow deeply and slightly pull me tighter against him. I let him finish and just stayed in his warmth.

'Well, then I have to tell you something. When I was fourteen, I killed my mother.' I flinched at the words and struggled to keep my eyes closed. I didn't want to give him a reason to stop talking or to not trust me. So I let him talk and just listened. 'Whatever you heard or whoever said what they did about that, they don't know anything. It's all just bullshit.' I had known that, the rumors and stories were just people talking. Now I have a chance at the truth and I'm not going to let it get away. 'It was my older sister's birthday and we were having dinner. She was leaving back to Russia the next day to finish school, so my mother wanted a big thing for her. My father came home late and drunk as usual, he and my mother were arguing. At that time we lived in another house, a bigger one with two floors. We -me and my sisters- were already in bed. I was awake since they were closest to my room at the end of the hall. I heard them arguing in the hallway. They were trying to hold their voices down but my father was getting louder and louder. Anyway he was saying some pretty bad things to her in Russian. And as I listened, I just got angrier and angrier. He was calling her names and saying she was good for nothing, telling her she was useless. I just listened and laid there. My mother didn't like for any of us to get involved when my father was like that, but I just kept getting mad.'

He swallowed again and this time my eyes were open when he looked at me. His gaze was heavy and his eyes carried so much in them. 'He kept saying insult after insult and I sat up in bed when I heard her plead for him to stop. She was crying and I was already anticipating leaving my room. When I heard a smack and her body hit the floor; that was it. It was loud, like a lighting strike or maybe it was just because my adrenalin was rushing, I don't know. As soon as I opened the door, I saw my mother on the floor and he was hovering over her still yelling. In that moment all my rage and fury just escaped me and I went for him. We almost fell down the stairs. I heard voices around me, but all I saw was his face and how angry it was making me. I kept hitting him and punching him... I just wanted him to feel all the pain for once.' He took a moment to go through his thoughts and this is where I knew everything was about to change. His eyes stayed on the ceiling of his room and I waited as he closed them and spoke. 'Someone tried to pull me off of him... I pushed them away too determined to not stop. It wasn't until I heard Sonya's scream... the way it sounded, like just pure pain. I turned around and spotted them just standing there. Once I moved my eyes to what they were looking at... I couldn't breathe. It was- everything was silent, numb.'

I tried to blink away the tears that were forming in my eyes. When I looked at him, his eyes were clutched tightly closed, but I knew from his cracking voice he was holding his back as well. 'She was lying at the bottom of the stairs... Not moving. Her legs were- the way her neck was bent and then she was- There was so much blood, Roza. All I could do was stare at her; all I could do was nothing. I just stood there... watched as my sisters cried and tried to wake her up.' The tears fell from both of our eyes. The moment he stopped talking was filled with silence and I didn't know what to say or do. I could feel the guilt pouring out of him as he rubbed his eyes with his fists. The wonder of why he would tell me that -finally- was still in my mind, but I chose to ignore it. The only thing I did do was move to hug him close to me and in return he squeezed me to his long lean body. We lay there, me on top of him and him fighting to gain control of his emotions as he held me tight. 'See, it's why you shouldn't waste your time with me. I don't deserve it, Roza.' I swallowed back a sob and moved my head in between his neck and shoulder. 'I think you do. It was an accident, just an accident, okay.' He didn't say anything or do anything. He just let me lay on top of him and hugged me closer.

Some time had passed as we stayed on the bed. I was falling asleep as Dimitri was playing with my hair. Something he did the time he stayed with me after we had that wonderful night together. Something had struck in my mind when I felt myself dosing off. Something other than the surprising news I had just heard. I knew he was blaming himself and protecting himself from all the guilt he was carrying. I have to admit, I did think it was sudden when he told me and why he chose to do it now. It still didn't change how I felt about him and if I could get him to see that it wasn't his fault, then I'm sure he could get through it. A pounding of a door opening made me jump slightly and Dimitri sit up. I turned to face him and seen him watching the door in anticipation. It was like he knew something bad was about to happen and as soon as that thought ended, his bedroom door shot open. 'Where is it, boy?'

Vladimir Belikov stood in the door frame with a sneer on his face as though he saw the most disgusting thing in his entire life. Dimitri stood from the bed with quickness and went to stand in between me an his father. 'Where is what?' His father snorted and moved a step closer in the room, Dimitri followed with a step of his own. 'Don't play with me boy, where is it!' 'I don't know what you're talking about.' Vladimir let a breath of frustration out. I got up to grab my coat and attempted to make an exit, but before I could I caught the evil eerie glare of Dimitri's father. I froze at his gaze and seen Dimitri move to my side as he helped me finish putting my coat on. 'I want to know what you did with it, boy. You find it now!' Dimitri gripped my arm for a second and then dropped and faced his father with anger clear in his eyes. 'I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!' Before either of us could move, Vladimir had Dimitri by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into his dresser. I tried to move closer to separate them but Dimitri's pleading look flashed to me and I stopped. 'Listen, you глупых ебет! That gun wasn't mine; it wasn't to leave this house! Now where is it?' Dimitri just looked to his father and showed no fear. 'It's gone. I got rid of it.'

It became quiet as the two men stared at each other and neither one backed down. Dimitri kept his eyes on his father and all his emotions from earlier had vanished and hid themselves away. His gaze hardened as his father slowly but surely let go of his shirt and dropped his hands. I don't know what had happen between the two of them and their silent argument, but Dimitri had looked to me with a sort of triumph in his eyes. 'You've just ruined me, boy. We're finished.' I didn't know what he meant by that, but Dimitri's eyes had changed in realization. He quickly got out of Vladimir's way and grabbed his jacket and my hand. 'We should get out of here.' With that we had made our way out of the house and outside. 'Where are we going?' I ask as he pretty much drags me to my car and snatches the keys from me. 'I'm taking you home.'

We had pulled up in front if my house a few minutes ago. It was quiet as we sat in the car and pondered over everything that had just happened. I knew as soon as I got out of the car he would leave. I didn't want that, so the next move was to -hopefully- convince him to stay with me. I swallowed and looked at my hands while my fingers played with the seatbelt. 'So that's your dad, huh.' He nods after laughing quietly. 'Yeah. I'm sorry about that by the way. He hasn't been home for a few days and then he suddenly comes back like that. Things have been tense, I guess.' He shrugs and runs his fingers over the steering wheel as I nod in understanding. 'Dimitri, will you stay with me... please?' I finally gain the courage to face him and a second later, I find him staring back. He takes a long minute to think it over. Then slowly leans over to my side and kisses my lips lightly. 'Yeah, I'll stay with you, Roza.'

So ive been trying to post for the last three days, whats up with that FF? Anyway, this was emotional and the next few chapters will be as well. The next update should be soon-ish.

As always muchos gracias on the alerts, favs and reviews. Please feel free to leave some more (;