Chapter 12
Zero knew he was pushing it, but he really wanted to wait as long as he could before going out once more to repeat the events of three weeks ago. The Level E had been like a shell of a person, and the idea that he was going to become that way terrified the hunter endlessly.
The most difficult part of the entire situation had been how it made Zero feel. He loathed the pleasure that twisted through his body, despised the newfound strength borne on the blood of another. It mattered little that it was from a detestable monster; the fact was that he had to repeat this process over and over. He seriously doubted that he was capable of the things Kaname was saying he needed to do. His mind returned to the small praise he had received for losing himself in his bloodlust. He'd nearly bitten Kaname instead of latching onto the injured Level E. The auburn-eyed vampire had looked at this as a positive sign, as if it were good that he was so far gone he could not help himself. The loss of control represented everything Zero despised about his life. He felt like a junkie that was always after the next fix. Until recently he hadn't realized that this was a theme for him, but looking back - even before his parent's death - it felt as though he had little choice in the course of his existence.
What would he do if he could really make his own choices?
That was a fairly easy question for him to answer. He would kill Shizuka Hio. He would hunt her down and rip out her throat like she had ripped out his father's, and his mother's.
Even that goal was formed due to his lack of choice. He only wanted revenge because Shizuka had taken his family from him. If none of it had ever happened and he were a little boy again, what would he want to do? Would he still want to be a vampire hunter? It was in his blood, so he supposed it was natural for him to want that, but it was in Kaien Cross' blood too, and he had eventually chosen a different path. The peaceful life seemed to work for Cross, but Zero wasn't so sure it would fit him now that he knew more about vampires. When he was little he'd had a hard time accepting that something that looked and acted like a normal human could actually be a vicious beast. It had only become clear when the former school doctor had turned into a Level E. It was his choice to try and save her that had resulted in Yagari's eye being clawed out. That day he had learned that his choices had serious consequences. He had learned the true nature of vampires.
Much had transpired between then and now, but most of it had swept Zero up like a wave and carried him here. He felt like there were only a few small places where he had changed the course of his own life. Now he was more free, but still chained to his thirst and his inevitable demise. He could make a variety of choices with the small time that remained, but every path ended with madness and insatiable thirst. Was there any point, then, in even going through the rest of the motions? Perhaps he should just give up now, and end it. It would likely be a service to society to remove himself completely. He knew that at some point he was going to lose control once and for all and not be able to come back. What if he hurt someone? What if he hurt Yuki? Or the other students? What if he destroyed someone's family the way Shizuka had destroyed his own?
If he killed himself now then he would never accomplish anything worthwhile. He would die and all his life would amount to would be suffering. As much as Zero honestly felt that it would be doing the right thing to take his own life, he could not bring himself to give up without avenging his family's murders before he did. He didn't entertain any whimsical fantasies of finding his own happiness, but he needed to complete that one goal before he gave up. He would do his best to continue for now.
He wondered if he would know it was happening when he started to lose his mind. Would he still have the capacity to take his own life? He thought it would be prudent to arrange his own death ahead of time, just in case he wasn't able to make the decision when it was necessary. He supposed that, being surrounded by Cross and the others at the school, they would see it happening to him and hopefully stop him before he did anything. He hoped they would. Kuran most certainly would.
Kaname Kuran. His natural reaction to the name was to bristle and become frustrated and defensive. The pureblood was always relaxed and cool, he never raised his voice or showed much emotion. He seemed to be in control at all times. He was pampered and had the best of everything, and it seemed he hadn't suffered a day in his life. At least not as far as Zero could tell. He would just run his fingers back through his wavy hair and stare with that impenetrable gaze until Zero erupted in anger. Kuran had a way of getting under his skin and keeping him off-balance. Just when he thought he was one step ahead the pureblood would be a few steps further. It was remarkable how easily Zero became irritated just at the thought of him. It had become both worse and better since the night they had hunted the Level E. On one hand, Zero had developed a small measure of trust in Kaname, and was less worried overall about him being a vampire. He had demonstrated that he was in control of his thirst (far better than Zero was, obviously) and had repeatedly taken steps to avoid violence, and further his pacifist ideals. Overall, he seemed to be an angel compared to the picture Zero conjured of a vampire.
However, Kaname had also witnessed Zero in a very exposed, and humiliating state. He could not forget the way the pureblood had wound an arm around him, pushing blood-stained fingers to his lips to manipulate him into surrendering to his thirst. He'd done the one thing that could make Zero give in at that moment. He despised that he could be so easily worked to Kuran's will. He hated that Kuran knew how his instincts and urges operated better than Zero himself did. It was as if the pureblood had been inside his body and mind, pushing his buttons. Zero knew that it was only reasonable for him to be this way, he was pure vampire, after all. Of course he would understand what Zero was experiencing. Unfortunately that knowledge did little to placate the frustrated hunter; He still got worked up just thinking about what Kuran had done.
He considered that he should be thankful to have access, finally, to someone who could teach him to deal with his vampire side. The only problem was that he also had to accept it in order to do that, and Zero was having a difficult time in that department.
Finally drinking his fill of blood after so much time spent starved and weak had been a significant moment for the ex-human. Sadly it actually made things worse. Now he knew what he was missing every time he denied himself. And deny himself Zero most certainly continued to do. The thought of once more stalking another living being and draining it dry was sickening. It was abhorrent and offensive, and he knew that it had to happen again, very soon.
He tried to put that out of his mind and focus on the lesson the teacher was going over, but it was yielding little success. His transition into school life had been ok for the first week or so, until his hunger slowly returned and his patience and energy had dwindled with it. He began to drift off in class, and when he was paying attention he didn't bother taking notes or asking questions. Though he couldn't blame thirst for most of his poor efforts in school, it wasn't helping things. His Disciplinary Committee duties were also keeping him up throughout the nights, wandering uselessly around the campus on patrol for wayward students. The worst part was that he would inevitably run into Kuran every few evenings. It seemed the pureblood just happened to be taking walks at strange hours and locations, at the exact moment that Zero happened to be patrolling alone in those areas.
He knew it was being done on purpose. He assumed the pureblood was watching him, assessing his control and thirst, making sure he wasn't a danger. He had seen him the last two nights in a row, just when he was having the most difficulty staving off the need for blood. That pretty much confirmed it. He expected it would happen again tonight. If it did, then he would know for certain.
When class finished Zero decided to go to one of the upper balconies to get some fresh air before he had to face his next period. To access the area he had to pass by the headmaster's office door. He hoped Cross didn't try to get him to come in – he was absolutely in no mood for the yammering idiot right now, and moreover, he worried that Cross may sense his thirst somehow, and tempt him with his blood. The possibility of accepting Cross' blood once more was one Zero hadn't entertained in the slightest. It made him far too uncomfortable.
The large wooden door was closed when he entered the hall. Usually it was wide open so students could approach freely. Zero could hear muffled voices coming from within and he smelled cigarette smoke. He could sense the energies of two vampire hunters beyond the door. One belonged to Cross, and the other was almost as 'bright' and was easily recognizable as that of his former teacher, Toga Yagari. The unexpected presence filled Zero with anxiety and nostalgia all at once. He was immediately ashamed at his 'condition' and knew that if he had to face his teacher it would be extremely difficult. Zero wished he knew how to suppress his own aura, which he thought must be very obvious to the two highly trained hunters behind the big wooden door. He tried to remain unnoticed, ducking into an alcove and closing his eyes. He let his senses unfold, as Kaname had taught him to, and listened carefully to the conversation. It sounded like they were already in the middle of it.
"Kaien, I am only doing as I was ordered. There was a violent and brutal murder six weeks ago and there have been no leads until now. We only have a few members on the police force, and it took a while for them to notice the file and figure out it was a vampire killing. Now the Association has it and they are trying to follow up on the details. They sent a few members over to the scene. It was some kind of fucked up all-boys whore-house. Most of them were pretty tight-lipped about what happened, but there was one who talked."
Zero could hear some papers shuffling. He was getting a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he didn't want to stop listening yet.
"Kid named Ryuu. No last name given. He said he heard gunshots and then one of the other boys ran out of there and nobody saw him again. He said his name was Zero, he had grey hair and purple eyes. It's a no-brainer, Kaien. It was obviously him. The Ryuu kid said nice things about him, that he tried to help him out one time, but he didn't go into detail. Kid was fucked up, scared of his own shadow and covered in bruises. That place needs to burn down. But anyway, the Association rep also asked him some background info on the victim. It was the owner of the place, a real bastard named Higashi. Had some kind of messed up double standard where some of the boys were top class whores and others were abused pretty bad with whips and chains and shit. The kid told the rep that Zero had done something to piss off the owner and had been getting the worst of it for about a year. Hard to tell if he snapped and lost it on the guy or if he was just trying to get the hell outta there. Probably both. Either way, I have my orders. The Association thinks he is a Level E. I have to confirm and they will tell me what to do from there."
"Yagari he's fine. He's been doing pretty well here, he's going to classes with the day students and hasn't had any incidents. He's taking the blood tablets. Besides, I asked Kuran to keep an eye on him too. This is the best place for him. The Association has my word."
"I know you want to rescue every puppy and kitten you meet Kaien, but he ripped a guy's throat out. I saw the pictures, there wasn't an inch of that room that wasn't covered in blood. Whether he is a Level E or not he still committed murder. Hell, do you think I wanted to find out that my star pupil whom I thought was dead all this time is a vampire? That kid was like a son to me. I don't think I could even look at him now. His parents must be rolling in their graves."
Zero didn't want to hear anymore. He felt sick. He had never imagined that Master Yagari would come here looking for him under this kind of circumstance. He wanted to disappear, but Cross was already talking once more.
"Yagari you didn't see him when he got here. Kuran found him, he was shot twice, torn apart. There wasn't an inch of him that wasn't beaten and bruised. Broken bones, old wounds, new ones. I think whatever he did was out of self-preservation. He was starving when he came here, but he has refused to drink any blood since the first night. He's suffering. He hasn't really shown any interest in making friends or doing his schoolwork. He also hates the vampires. Refused to be put in their class, even though it's the right place for him. I'm trying to help him. I talked to him about hunter training and it was the first thing he seemed interested in. He wants to keep training, pick up where he left off. When he found out that I know you he seemed really hopeful. In fact I think the thing that's kept him going since the Kiryu's murder is the possibility that he might find you and learn what he needs to avenge his family. It doesn't matter that he's been turned. He still has more potential than any other hunter around. If his twin were still alive he could become the most powerful hunter anywhere. Even without Ichiru, Zero is too important for the Association to just destroy. I won't let you take him. If the President wants him he can come here and answer to me. And you can't smoke in here, put it out."
There was a 'tsssss' noise.
"Not in my tea!" came Cross' protest. Zero could easily picture his teacher's smirk at that.
Zero was surprised at what Cross said about him. He seemed to know more about him than Zero knew about himself. Apparently that was a running theme in his life. Everyone else always held all the pieces and he seemed to be one of them, getting pushed around as others saw fit. Now his future was even more unstable and out of his control. Worse, Yagari had been a glimmer of hope for him. Hope that he could receive the training he needed to avenge his family's murders. If he refused to even look at him, then obviously that wasn't going to happen. At least Cross seemed to be really supportive. He had to admit he was thankful for that. Too bad he'd found out where Zero had spent the last few years. Could he even look Cross in the eye anymore? Now he knew that Zero had 'gotten the worst of it.' What if he tried to ask him about it? Zero wasn't sure he could form any of it into words, not that he would ever want to.
He snuck away from the headmaster's office, hoping they hadn't noticed him. Even if they had, it didn't change much. He had little choice in the matters they discussed anyway. If the Hunter's Association ordered his death it would come about, one way or another. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. After all, he'd been contemplating his own suicide only a little while earlier.
Either way he was wholly unprepared to meet his Master under the present circumstance, so he was thankful that they hadn't seemed to notice him, or at least hadn't said anything. He couldn't imagine looking the man he so respected and trusted in the eye, knowing that he had seen the grisly scene Zero had left behind when he escaped from the House.
Zero was now late for the start of his next class. He shrugged his shoulders and decided to skip it. It's not like he was going to learn anything now that his mind was completely full of new worries on top of the ever-present thirst. He spent the next two hours beside the lake, laying in the tall grass under a tree. He lost himself in thought, lulled by the swaying grass around him.
He did not notice the tall, silver-haired figure that lurked behind a tree in the woods nearby.
During the class changeover that evening Zero glared the Day students into a submissive and obedient line-up right away. His patience was worn thin and he was extremely stressed and anxious. This made his already powerful hunger much more evident. He was very aware of all the students' hearts beating together, and did not want to risk anyone pushing and shoving, lest a small accidental injury completely undo his carefully wrought self-control. He felt the heavy gaze as the vampires moved past him. When he glanced up briefly he was met by Kaname's eyes, which locked onto his. The short connection stirred Zero's vampire urges more than he was prepared for and he quickly looked away, feeling his jaw suddenly aching with the need to bite. He turned to focus somewhere else, a furrow knitting his brow. He didn't need any more irritation and stress for one day. Kuran's heartbeat was a distracting din in his ears that he wanted to get away from as fast as possible.
He couldn't wait to drink any longer. He had to try and do what Kaname had taught him, although he knew there was a lot of risk involved. He wondered for a moment if he should ask the pureblood to come with him, but he pushed the idea far away, refusing to ask for his protection or assistance. He could do it by himself, as long as he selected his target carefully.
That night after the noises from the Sun Dorms dwindled and the headmaster went to bed Zero opened his window and slipped out into the cool damp air. He was clad all in black to make himself as unnoticeable as possible. He snuck around the campus, avoiding the lit paths and nearly running into Yuki on her patrol. He was immediately thankful for his heightened senses, or he would never have seen her in time.
Presently he was walking towards the nearby town at a brisk pace, his eyes wide, searching for evidence that he would be discovered. He tried as much as he could to use his other senses, to get into the mindset that he needed to complete his task. He had to think like a vampire, as unnatural as it was to him, or he could get seriously hurt. Kaname had told him that his body was a weapon. Now that he was once more weakened from hunger, he was glad he'd brought along a wickedly sharp knife just in case.
As he made his way into the town Zero got the feeling he was being followed. He was uneasy, already stressed about the upcoming hunt, and froze repeatedly, looking around himself, closing his eyes and listening for any signs of a presence nearby. He could only hear his heartbeat thundering in his ears. He smelled carefully, just as Kaname had taught him to do. He could detect nothing out of the ordinary amongst the scents and sounds of the night.
Kaname knew that Zero would try it tonight.
He had been watching the hunter closely, and could plainly see him developing all the signs as the days moved forward. Today he had been especially agitated. During the change between classes he'd been very curt with the Day students. When he'd managed to draw Zero's gaze, he saw the hunger plainly; a flash of crimson told him that it wasn't far from the surface. Zero would do it tonight or he would have to intervene once more and guide him to it.
When the third period class began he sensed the hunter's energy getting further away, leaving the school. He knew Zero was stubborn, but part of him had thought perhaps he would ask for some help, seeing as he had not been able to subdue the Level E on his own last time. Now he'd waited until he was just as weak once more to try it. It was foolish and dangerous. He was barely stronger than a normal human at this point, and stood little chance of success. The pureblood knew he needed to follow him or Zero may not come back at all.
When had he begun to care about the wellbeing of the obstinate hunter? That was a question Kaname couldn't fully answer, because it had snuck up on him. He'd found himself regularly preoccupied with Zero's whereabouts and energy since the night they had met, and more so after hunting the Level E together. He had started to accept that he was attracted to Zero, and excited by the idea of him in bloodlust. Those thoughts had fuelled many fantasies in the past few weeks, and just thinking about it now was enough to completely distract him from the class content. He wanted to see if Zero could do it himself this time. That is, he actually wanted to see it unfold. Could Zero hunt a Level E alone?
He needed to go after him. They were writing a test this evening, so he had to remain in the class and do the test before he could reasonably leave. He knew these things were just formalities, but he had a responsibility to set an example for the rest of the vampires, and he had every intention of doing that. It took about half an hour to complete, at which point he searched out Takuma Ichijo's gaze from amongst the students. Takuma was the class Vice President, and Kaname's most trusted friend. They understood one another quite well, and he needed only a glance to communicate his message. Takuma nodded slightly and turned back to the teacher as Kaname rose and slipped from the room. One of the perks of being a pureblood was that nobody questioned you when you did unusual things, so it was easy to duck out without anyone saying anything to him.
Kaname quickly went towards the Moon Dorm. He avoided Yuki, who was patrolling the school grounds diligently. In some ways he wished Kiryu were more helpful to her because she had a lot of responsibility and it was obviously a challenge for her to keep it up. Kaname loved Yuki and would always protect her and watch over her, but right now he needed to be discreet and not be seen.
Once he was in his quarters he quickly removed his white uniform, sliding the knot of the red silk tie from his throat and tossing it onto a nearby chair along with the shirt and everything else. He donned the black outfit he'd worn last time, doing up the buttons on his trench so it hugged his body. He opened the glass door to his private balcony and peered over the campus for a moment before jumping easily to the ground and quickly making his way to the road.
He was about forty minutes behind Zero at this point. He extended his senses, feeling for the hunter's aura and was able to find it in the little town. He moved toward it, using his speed to close the distance between them. It still took him several minutes to get close. He was in the same area they had been in before, but deeper within the little criss-crossing streets and alleys.
Kaname concealed his energy as he closed in on Zero. He was nearby. He could smell the hunter's unique scent in the air, indicating that he'd passed through only minutes before. Kaname didn't want Zero to know he was watching. He wanted to see things unfold from the shadows, and only interfere if it was necessary. He slowed his pursuit, searching for other vampire energies nearby. Had Zero already found a target or was he still searching? He didn't sense any Level E's, so he must still be looking.
Suddenly Zero's aura flared brightly in his senses and then abruptly dwindled to almost nothing. Moments later it disappeared completely.
Kaname froze in place, searching for the now-familiar energy, but it was nowhere to be found. Zero was gone.
