A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

Thank you to my amazing Beta Leon for his awesome editing skills and everything else! Many thanks!

And thank you so much to whoever is reading this story and reviewing. I appreciate any feedback and am happy that you are enjoying this story.

EPOV

As I awake from what felt like a million years' slumber, I feel a strange sensation of warmth followed by what I recognize as similar to nausea, but somewhat different.

Nope, it's definitely nausea.

I fling myself over to the edge of the bed as quickly as possible and hurl my guts onto the hardwood floors.

Fuck sakes, I just got those fuckin' floors waxed. Oh well; it'll give Aro something to do tomorrow.

I gasp and breathe heavily trying to steady myself but I can't; I feel dizzy and out of control of my body. The more I move the more discomfort and nausea I induce.

Fuck. Another wave of nausea hits and I lean over the bed again for a repeat performance. I hear running down the hall and someone comes to my side with a bucket of sorts. Looks like my large stainless steel trashcan from my bathroom. Gross.

I try and suppress the sickness but that just makes it so much worse and I spew all over, trying my best to aim for the bucket. My body is angled sideways on the bed, with my head hovering over the edge; my left arm holding on for dear life to my bed frame and my right arm positioned on the bed, steadying myself so I don't fall into this bucket of my dispelled stomach contents.

It's a lot more difficult trying to aim for the bucket than it would seem – especially since I'm having the hangover of the century; last night must have been rough because I don't remember a thing.

Either that or I managed to pick up the Norwalk virus again. "Fuckin Norwalk..." I mutter.

I feel my abdomen contracting tightly as I try and regain my composure but fuck – here we go again. All over the fucking feet of whoever is dutiful enough to stand there holding a bucket. Carlisle must have given them a raise.

The contracting gets worse and I gasp to try and get a breath in before I feel the pressure release and holy shit I yack once more.

Must have been tequila.

I finally catch a break in this horrible cycle and fall back into my soft pillow. Heaven.

Someone is standing at the edge of my bed. I rub my eyes trying to decipher and... Bella?

She's sitting there all pale as a ghost looking like she hadn't slept in a long effin time. She's got terrible bags under her eyes...

Wait, Bella is here? Fuck.

"Bella?" My voice came out raspy and felt like I hadn't used it in years. "What the hell are you doing here? Did we...?" Fuck I hope I didn't have drunken sex with her and not remember a fuckin' thing today. That's not cool.

"No, no," she shook her head slowly and took a seat beside me on the bed, putting the bucket down in clear sight and easy access for me.

Crap. She was holding the bucket? What a saint... an angel.

Angel. I dreamt of angels last night. Bella as an angel, actually. She was glowing and beautiful and wearing some white see-through nightgown. If I go to heaven, which is very unlikely--let's be realistic here--but if for some reason God is a chick who wants a taste of my mad sex skills or for some reason deems me fit for her kingdom, I hope it's full of virgins wearing what Bella wore in my dream. And she should be there too.

"Where the hell did we go last night? I haven't felt this rough since... well fuck, probably since the first time I got drunk. But this might actually be worse. It's hard to tell."

She didn't seem to be amused by my rambling on.

"You. Don't. Remember?" Her jaw dropped.

Fuck, did I bring someone else home? Jesus Christ, I hope I didn't bring some other chick home...

Goddamn it the sun is friggin' bright. "Close the shutters, will ya?"

My nausea was ceasing but not before I got another pain in my stomach. And the dry heaving starts...

Nope definitely not dry. Fuck.

I didn't make the bucket and spewed all over the floors again.

Gah.

"C-can you g-grab...me... some g-gravol or...some s-shit?" I choked between gasps of air.

"NO." Bella said firmly, practically shouting.

"CHRIST!! KEEP IT DOWN!" I shouted back. I had a throbbing headache and felt like death.

She was startled by my fit of rage and now I felt guilty. Way to go, dickwad.

I heard a soft tap on my door followed by what sounded like a parade of people. Jesus, what was this? A public showing of my slow and painful death?

It took every ounce of strength in my body to lift myself up and I propped my back against the wall slowly and steadily because this vomit thing was getting to be problematic. It was fuckin' unpredictable too.

I looked across the room; Alice, Jasper, Emmett were all standing there, eyes wide and in complete shock.

They didn't look hungover.

"Good afternoon, sunshine!" Alice's chirpy singsong voice was enough to make me vomit again.

"Looking good, asshole," Rose hissed and Alice smacked her arm. "I'm just sayin'!" she threw her arms up defensively. "At least he's alive," she muttered.

"He doesn't remember a goddamn thing," Bella growled.

I closed my eyes hoping they would bicker elsewhere.

"We should let him rest," I heard Jazz say.

"No, we most certainly should not. He should know exactly what he did to us," Rose sneered.

"Let's have it," I said, accepting defeat. When Rose was pissed that meant there would be hell to pay. She never let a grudge go. I probably made another drunken belligerent mess of myself...

Emmett looked none too pleased with me either. His arms were crossed across his broad body and his fists were clenched tightly. I raised my eyebrow at him hoping he could help a brother out but he just clenched his jaw, holding back the rage that was bottled up in the bear's den.

He looked ready to give me an ass beating. Not again, I pleaded. My weak and frail body can't take that shit today.

"You got into some serious shit, Edward," Jasper said, and for once his attempt at soothing the tension in the room didn't work. "You fuckin' overdosed. On what, we still don't know. You've been out for two days."

Um, what?

"F-funny. Seriously, w-what happened?" my voice trembled; I barely had the strength to talk.

I cleared my throat and could taste the chunks of vomit at the pit of my esophagus.

"We're not fucking around, Edward!" Bella shrieked. And if looks could kill... "You fucking asshole!! Jasper and I were driving around and we saw your car parked on the side of the road so we go follow your tracks and you're lying there in the snow passed out cold for god knows how long and I seriously thought you had one foot in the grave and then I call Carlisle because the police would only detain you – you had enough drugs in your pockets and body to sink a ship. No fucking joke. You are such an asshole." She inhaled and then exhaled loudly, her whole body shaking with anger.

She stormed out of the room and Jasper ran after her.

Alice and Rose gave me stern looks and followed them out of the room.

I was left in my bedroom with Emmett, who was eyeing me carefully throughout Bella's rant.

"Buddy. You're a fucking idiot. You scared the shit out of us." Emmett took a seat at the foot of my bed, scrunching his nose up at the puke smell. He peered over at the bucket on the floor and shuddered.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Were you seriously trying to kill yourself? I'm not gonna beat around the bush because I'm not that kinda guy. But this is the elephant in the room and I'm gonna address it."

Was I trying to kill myself? Was he fucking serious? Well judging by his face this was no joke at all. But why the fuck would I kill myself? I fuckin' love myself!

"I don't think so."

"Good. Because this is some fucked up shit." Emmett rubbed his eyes with his fists and yawned. "We've been here since Wednesday night and Bella hasn't left your side. She wouldn't even sleep. Wouldn't leave the room. We had to get Aro to bring her food. And Carlisle couldn't exactly do anything will all his skill because we had no clue what you OD'ed on. You had just about every type of drug in your pockets and likely in your system. Giving you morphine would only feed your high, or low, or whatever the fuck you had goin' on."

I remembered buying acid a couple days before and I remember being high as fuck in the woods. But anything after that, I didn't have a clue about.

"And you fuckin' drove, man! How the FUCK could you operate a vehicle?! You've been lying in bed barely breathing for the last two days and you attempted to drive with all that shit in your system?!" he bellowed.

I growled under my breath, trying not to scream at him for causing my head to nearly explode with his outburst.

"I dunno man. But what I do know is I feel like absolute shit."

"I don't fuckin' doubt it. Your body is going through mad withdrawal. You and me did shrooms the night before your overdose, you've been shooting coke like it's your job, you get high as fuck every hour on the hour, PLUS you had a shit load of random prescription pills in your pocket and acid. DUDE. If you're gonna get all psychedelic on my ass, you have to have people around you. Plus that shit is fucked up. That shit comes back to HAUNT YOU."

I took Emmett's warning and nodded my head to let him know I got what he was saying.

He was usually the first one to join in my drug experimentation – so the fact that he was sitting here lecturing me on the dangers of drugs meant this shit was serious.

"I'm sorry man. I really am –"

"I don't fuckin' wanna hear it. If you're gonna apologize to someone, the FIRST person you owe an apology to is Bella. You fuckin' tell her you love her and then two days later attempt suicide-"

"I didn't attempt suicide."

"Call it what you want, but you're fucked up, my friend. Carlisle is getting your ass in therapy or rehab or some shit before you can even say 'pass me a joint.'"

He gave me a concerned look and then left.

I got up and steadied myself along the walls, holding my vomit bucket in one hand just in case. I needed to find an icepack or some shit for this pounding headache.

Where the fuck is all the hired help when you need them?

I made it to the staircase when I saw them all having a conference at the bottom of the stairs. Bella had one hand on the doorknob and Jasper was trying to convince her of something. The headache was seriously impairing my hearing so I couldn't pick up shit from their conversation.

I felt my stomach contract and I groaned loudly. They all turned to stare at me and I held my finger up and heaved into the bucket, throwing my body against the wall for stability in the process.

Ugh, the taste of vomit burned my throat and it was nasty.

"Sorry 'bout that," I croaked, grabbing the railing to make my way down the next flight of stairs.

"CULLEN, you don't need to be here," Jasper shouted, giving me a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Uh, last time I checked WHITLOCK, this is my house."

"Last time, I checked you fucking broke Bella's heart and nearly killed yourself," he shot back.

"Last time I checked I told her I loved her and she didn't say shit back. And that's got nothing to do with this shit, Whitlock. Fuck," I angrily shook my head and holy shit another wave of vomit.

They all rolled their eyes while I gave them the "hold on a sec" signal and emptied the rest of my guts into the bucket. I saw the glorious fluorescent yellow shade of bile and knew the puking was over.

About fucking time.

The bile tasted viler than anything else in the world... so bitter and strong. Guh. Goosebumps spread across my body and I shuddered rather violently.

I took a second to collect my thoughts; I needed Jasper and them to leave so I could have a serious discussion with her.

"Bella, we need to talk. Clearly I'm missing out on a few things since I've apparently been in a coma the last couple days." I attempted the best crooked grin that chicks loved so much but it probably came across as a wince.

"He's in pain. I'll stay for a bit," Bella said quietly. She looked around for the approval of everyone else who just nodded in agreement, except for Whitlock.

She shot him a glare that said, "don't fucking start..."

Fuckin' Whitlock.

Asshole.

"I swear to god Cullen – if you ever pull that kinda shit on Bella again, I'll make what you just went through feel like a walk in the fucking park," Jasper grumbled through his teeth.

Point taken.

Bella came up the stairs, keeping a safe distance from me. I don't know what the fuck she was scared of – in this state I couldn't even kill a fly.

I hobbled into my bedroom, put my bucket by my side on the floor and collapsed on my bed.

"You scared me, Edward," Bella said softly. I looked up at her and she was forcing back tears. I felt like a first class idiot.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. I was just fucking around though, really," I tried to convince her that I really was not attempting to take my life. What the fuck made her think I'd want to do that?

She turned her back to me and was silent for a minute. I could see her body shaking like a delicate leaf and I gently placed my hand on her shoulder to calm her.

She turned around and tears were streaming down her beautiful but agonized face.

The sight fuckin' broke my heart.

"Bella, come here," I wiggled toward her and wrapped my arm around her, and she dug her face in my shoulder and let it all out.

"D-Don't e-ever do that again," she managed in between sobs.

I gently pulled her back and moved over so she could lie down beside me.

As she hugged her knees in a fetal position I covered her in blankets and lay down beside her, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

She began to say something but choked on her words and got into a big crying fit, hyperventilating in between sobs and everything. I moved closer to her and then pulled her to face me and wrapped both of my arms around her tightly.

She dug her face deeper into my chest and my shirt was wet with her tears in seconds.

"Bella, I'm okay, really," I said, gently stroking her hair. "It's just like having a really shitty hangover, that's all... I promise."

"S-say it. Tell me that it won't e-ever happ-pen again," she said, her breathing all broken up with sobs.

I gently lifted up her chin with my index finger and looked her in her pained eyes; when she was sad like this her beautiful brown eyes expressed the agony unlike I'd ever seen anyone hurt before and it just tore me apart.

"Bella," I said, looking deep into her eyes. "Bella, I promise you that as long as I live I will never, ever hurt you ever again." I rubbed the small of her back and could feel her adorable back dimples.

Slowly she calmed down from my alternating between rubbing her back and stroking her hair, and her sobs became few and far between.

When she was all settled down I kissed her forehead, her cute little nose, and then her lips. Her nose was all runny and her lips tasted all salty from her tears.

I didn't know how she'd react to my kiss. It was deep and meaningful and expressed my feelings more than words ever could.

I needed her to know that I meant it when I said I loved her.

Slowly lifting up her chin with my finger, I looked into her eyes, pain emanating from mine.

"Bella, you gotta stay away from me so I can't hurt you anymore."

It killed me to say this, but I had to. I winced at her anticipated reaction.

Even though I knew I would sooner take my own life than see Bella hurt this way again, I couldn't keep her away from someone who would be better for her.

Someone without any baggage; someone who wasn't capable of running away from her.

She looked up at me with confused and hurt eyes. Seeing that look on her face hurt but she needed to hear it.

"Wh-what do you mean?" she stuttered "H-how can you say that to me? I mean after what you just put me through -"

"Exactly... after what I put you through." I was completely to blame. I jerked her around and she didn't deserve that. Nobody did.

"N-no! Just no!"

I could feel her heart pick up and her eyes fluttered fervently; and then, she started sobbing again. But this time it wasn't sad sobbing – it was hysterical sobbing, filled with fear and distress.

I gently stroked her hair and soothed her. I leaned in, touched my hand to her cheek and brought our faces together and kissed her forehead, resting my lips there for a long time. I took in her glorious scent – strawberries and heaven –before releasing her.

I cupped her cheeks and rubbed my thumbs against them gently. She looked just like an angel; her face was flushed from crying and I couldn't bear to hurt her any longer.

"I'm here, Bella. I'll always be here for you," I paused and gently pressed my forehead against hers, trying to bring her as close as possible, trying to hold her and express everything I needed her to hear. "As long as you want me, I'm yours."

Bella sighed and her body released all her pent up anxiety and pain. She sniffled and moved her soft lips down to mine and gave me the sweetest, most meaningful kiss ever.

When she was about to back away, I drew her in closer, parted my mouth and slowly ran my tongue around her lips, savouring her taste.

I loved this girl. Knowing what true love felt like for the first time, I knew I'd never, ever be able to hurt her. I would do anything to keep Bella unharmed.

"I love you, Edward" she whispered.

Sweeter words have never been spoken.