Mon Amante

Chapter 12

Secret to Silence

As expected, Hermione required Draco to be in the library with her at least once a week to inform her of anything he found out. So far, Draco had only spoken to Abby once, and that was only because he needed the toast that was out of his reach.

Hermione was having none of that. She expected information, and she made it quite clear that she did.

"Draco, I don't see how hard it is to just go up and talk to her," Hermione told him, her head shaking in disbelief.

"Let me clear things up, Granger. You expect me to walk up to Abby Whiter, the girl that cheated on Blaise with me, just because you asked?"

"Not because I asked you to," said Hermione. She laughed. "You want to find out what's got Abby freaked just as much as I do."

"Granger, let me put this in perspective," He leaned forward, looking her in the eye. "Would you just waltz up to Weasley, if he was cheating on Lavender with you?"

Hermione shrugged. "It depends on what I have to say to him," She smirked. "For all you know, I could be walking over to give him a nice earful of what I've got to say."

"Nice earful my arsehole," Draco muttered. "You wouldn't do it, and you know it. Weasel means too much to you, and you'd go to any length to keep his respect."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Does it look like I've been doing anything to keep his respect lately?"

"You've just been too busy with your new pal," Draco winked at her, chuckling lightly. "Granger, just give the girl a break. If your father had just done something unspeakable to you, would you be eager to share the story with the world?"

"No."

"Then leave her the hell alone," Draco stated simply.

"Why should I leave her alone?" Hermione asked him. "In the end, all of this dirty work is for her. The least she can do is cooperate with me."

Draco shook his head. He was being dragged into schoolgirl nonsense. "Granger, if this is some problem you have with the girl, solve it. If I'm going to be helping you, I'd rather you keep all of the pesky gossip to yourself."

"This isn't pesky gossip," She spat. "This is me trying to find out why this girl is so cold. In doing this, my problems with her will get solved. I will no longer see her as the person everyone perceives her to be. I'll see her as a girl with problems just like the rest of us."

"Well, aren't you noble."

"Don't give me your attitude," Hermione muttered. "I brought you into this because I thought you deserved to know."

"I'm glad you think I deserve it," Draco smirked.

"I picked you because I thought you were capable. If I didn't have that one shred of hope for you, then why would I waste my time with someone who so clearly doesn't want to be here?" Hermione spat. "Not only that, but I thought this was my chance at finding out why you are the way you are. You constantly deviate from Draco to Malfoy with me, and I'm tired of it," She sighed angrily. "Here's your second chance."

Draco sat there, unmoving. His shoulder's were tense as he seemed to be thinking on what she had just said.

"Right then, Granger," Draco stood abruptly. "I'll be off."

Hermione got up quickly, standing in front of him. "Don't you dare leave because your scared of what might happen. This is your second chance, Draco. How many of those have you gotten?" She searched his eyes for something, but all she found were his silver orbs staring back at her. "If you leave, I don't know if I can handle giving you another chance."

Draco shook his head, sighing in frustration. "What do you want me to say, Granger? What exactly do you expect from me?"

Hermione gave a weak shrug, looking down at the ground. "I just thought that maybe I could use this whole Abby ordeal as a way to prove to myself that I can trust you," She whispered.

"How am I proving anything to you?" He asked. What the hell was going on with her? He thought he was in this as a messenger. Obviously it meant a little more to her.

"Just the fact that you agreed to help me shows me something," Hermione told him. "I was fully prepared for you to say no."

"Curiosity got the best of me," He looked down at her, noticing the distraught look on her face. She seemed to be choosing between something.

Hermione let out a heavy sigh, looking back up at him. She didn't really know what she was trying to tell him. She just knew that she didn't want him leaving. She couldn't bear it if yet another person walked out on her. So many had already given up on her. Hermione knew she wouldn't be able to handle him leaving. There was something in him that she needed, but she wasn't ready to admit it to herself.

Her head hung low as she spoke, her voice muffled slightly. "You're the only one that I've kept in constant contact with lately."

"Exactly what are you trying to say?"

"I just need someone that I know will not leave," Hermione barely uttered, her voice almost silent. "I've got absolutely no one, and currently you're my last hope for a companion."

"I'm glad I'm the last hope," He snorted.

Hermione looked up at him angrily, before turning around and gathering her things. "You know, I think I was wrong," She told him, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Forget I said anything, Malfoy. I have to go."

"Granger, where the hell do you have to be?" He questioned her, watching her leave.

She stopped and turned around slowly to face him. "I'm happy you care where I have to be, but it's obviously of no importance to you."

"Trust me, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important," He stated, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Now, where are you going?"

"I need to think," She said, turning around to leave.

"That's vague," He muttered. He had no idea why she had decided to bare her soul to him just now, and he had no idea why she was being so completely stubborn in giving him answers. Ever since they had started this whole thing together, she had never given him full answers. It was always just bits and pieces of everything, and he was getting tired of it. If he was going to be in this the way she wanted him to be, as a companion, then he needed to be in the know. They weren't going to get anywhere if he wasn't fully aware of what was happening at all times during this project of theirs.

She didn't understand that for him to open up to her, he had to know why he was opening up. Just before, when she was telling him all about being ditched by her friends, it was obvious she wanted to know how he was feeling. But he wasn't going to tell her just because she needed that bit of closure. Just like her morals, she needed to deserve it. She also had to prove herself. After all of their years of fighting, one would think that she'd be accustomed to the fact that he didn't give out his trust to any and all. That was something people had to work for. They had to work hard.

"Malfoy, I need to think about why in bleeding hell I just told you what I was feeling," She spat angrily. "I'm angry at myself, and I'm even angrier at you."

"Now, what did I do?" He sneered at her.

"That, that's what you did," She pointed at him. "You're an arsehole, and you know it. It's the fact that you know it that drives me crazy!"

"If you refuse to acknowledge your faults, it's your prerogative."

"You don't acknowledge your faults, Malfoy. On the contrary, everything you are, you amplify it to the highest extent. You act extremely proud of who you are, thinking you're the best thing to ever step foot in Hogwarts," She told him. "Excuse my audacity, but you are not." She turned around, heading straight for the doors.

"Granger, tell me. Who exactly am I?" He called to her retreating back.

Her eyes widened, and her step faltered. Drawing in a quivering breath, she slowly turned to him. "You haven't exactly shown me," She admitted, looking down at the ground while rocking back and forth on her heels.

"My point exactly," He stated, gathering his things too. "I'm glad you know me well enough to point out all of my faults," He spat.

Hermione let out a growl of frustration. "It's rude to be hypocritical, Malfoy," She told him. "Every single day of my life, you've done exactly what I've just done. And without any background to base it on, either. We're both wrong here."

"Granger, shut up!" He growled at her. "For once, tell me the entire story. The whole thing. Ever since you dragged my sorry arse into this project, I haven't gotten a full story. I had to practically bleed you for the reason behind this project," He yelled at her, a livid expression on his face . He was angry. Ever since the beginning of this damned project, his life had been one argument after the other with the girl in front of him. He wouldn't have minded so much if it had been another one of their useless arguments. But now, every time they argued, it was about things that did matter. "Tell me the real reason behind this sudden expression of emotion."

"It's not going to happen, Malfoy. I will not tell you the real reason behind this because you do not deserve it!" She yelled at him, trying to cover up the obvious fact that she did want to tell him. She really did, but she wasn't sure if he could handle it right now. It would have to wait.

"How are you going to tell me that I don't deserve this, Granger? You haven't given me a chance to deserve it!" He raised his voice, his bag sliding off his shoulder in the process.

Hermione took a step forward. "You can't expect me to give you a chance. Every single time I try to, it gets thrown back in my face with some nasty insult or snide remark. For once, will you control your damned ego?" She screamed, her voice getting hoarse.

"It's a defense system, for Merlin's sake!" He told her, his voice gaining volume with every word. "You have your's, I have mine, and everyone else has their's. Let it go, Granger."

"No, no!" She yelled angrily. "I can't, because that defense system is what formed our doomed relationship. You can't keep defending yourself like that, it's not going to get you anywhere."

"I will not put down my guards just so you can have your closure," He spat.

"Closure? Closure? Is that what you think this is?"

"It's exactly what I think it is, and don't you dare tell me otherwise Granger. I'll have to call you a liar," He crossed the room towards her, standing only a few inches apart from her.

"Go ahead and call me a liar, Malfoy. Do it, it'll just add to your growing list of biased insults!"

"Shut up," He told her.

Hermione looked up at him, shock radiating from her features. Her voice was deathly silent. "Say it one more time and you're out, completely out of this."

"Oh please," Malfoy muttered. "You yourself said you wouldn't be able to handle this without me." His voice grew considerably louder with each word

"Malfoy, just be quiet!" She muttered angrily. "Will you just please stop talking and let me leave? I've been trying to leave this entire time. I cannot stand to be here arguing with you just because you're a stubborn little prat and you can't control your-" She was cut off as Draco silenced her with his lips against hers. She froze, but as Draco continued to kiss her, she felt compelled to give something back.

That was one way of silencing Hermione Granger.