A/N: Here's an update. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA

Tell me what you think.


Radek scrubbed his eyes again to make sure he read the Ancient database correctly. "I wish Elizabeth was here or Dr. Jackson, they could tell me for sure. Rodney… Rodney would know too."

He sighed at the thought of Rodney, he was going to miss him.

Stop Radek, is not dead yet. Keep looking.

He decided he would ask Mr. Woolsey if he could go with the group leaving with Rodney in the morning. He printed out what was on the screen and ran to find the expedition's leader.

Carson came into Rodney's room and found Jennifer was there already.

"Oh, excuse me, I'll come back later."

"No Carson, I was just leaving." Jennifer gave Rodney a stern look.

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you in a minute Jennifer; we have a few more things to go over."

She nodded and smiled at him warmly as she left the two friends alone.

"Hey."

"Hello Rodney. You're looking much better."

"I feel better, thanks."

"You ready to go?"

"Not really looking forward to going to the SGC on a gurney, you know, hooked up to IV's and oxygen."

"No I guess not."

"It's just so humiliating. All those people watching me."

Carson smiled. "It's Sam you're worried about."

"Yeah, I can't stand looking so weak."

"Rodney, Samantha Carter is your friend."

"I know but we've always had this… you know, a competitive thing between us."

"I would have thought you'd be over it after she was your boss for a year, and now that you are engaged to Jennifer."

"I know it's stupid. I just want everyone to remember me like I was on Atlantis. The best me, not this broken down weakling I am now."

"Rodney, you are anything but weak. Most people in your situation would not have survived this long. Now quit fretting. I want to talk to you for a minute."

Rodney shifted uncomfortably, not looking forward to what Carson was going to say. He wished they could just forget it ever happened.

"Look at me Rodney. Good. I want to apologize for what I said to you, for the words I used, and for raising my voice. I was angry and tired, so I lashed out at you."

Rodney swallowed his urge to argue with him and said, "Thanks, I appreciate that. I'm sorry for being such a jerk to everyone."

"I have more I need to say. Let me finish okay?" Carson interrupted.

"Sorry, go ahead."

"Even though I was aggravated by your behavior, as a physician I should have never allowed myself to lose perspective and my temper. The truth is it's easier as your friend to be mad at you, because then I don't have to feel so damn sad. I hope you can forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you, and I am sorry for being a jerk. It's just been …you know."

"No I don't know, but I can imagine. You have been incredibly brave through this and the fact you are willing to keep on … It's the most brave thing you've ever done. I am very proud of you."

Rodney didn't know what to say to that, he could feel his face burning with embarrassment. Carson waited for him to respond.

"Okay, umm thanks."

The room was quiet again. Carson finally spoke after a minute.

"Whew, I'm glad we got that out of the way!" He said with a broad smile.

"Me too." Rodney grinned.

"Now let's go over the plan again."

Rodney groaned. "Do we have to?"

"Aye lad we do."

"Fine, let's get it over with."

"Good lad." He patted Rodney's leg.

"Okay, we'll be leaving in about an hour. You, Jennifer, John, Radek and I will be going through the gate. I want to keep your O2 up and keep the IV's just in case. When we arrive at the SGC Dr. Lam and her staff will meet us and we will transfer you to their infirmary. A Navy oncologist, Dr. Chris Morgan, will be waiting for you. He's considered one of the best in the country."

"If he's so great why is he in the Navy?"

"He left a very lucrative practice to join the military after 9/11; his brother was in the World Trade Center."

"Oh… Then what?"

"Then we will all talk with Dr. Morgan about your chemo protocol and you can ask him any questions you want."

"After we get you settled, John will have to come back, but Jennifer will stay. I will come back here to cover for her until you come back."

"Wait did you say Radek? Why is Radek going?" Rodney suddenly realized Carson said Radek was coming through the gate with them.

"I'm not sure exactly, something to do with needing Dr. Jackson to help him translate something."

"Hunh."

Uh oh, I know that look. He's upset that Radek didn't ask him.

"Rodney, there are other scientists you know… and Dr. Jackson is the Ancient language expert… I'm sure Radek needs his expertise for something or he would have come to you."

Rodney looked around as nonchalantly as possible, fighting the urge to freak out about not being needed.

"Oh yeah, absolutely Jackson's your man for obscure dialects."

I didn't sound too desperate did I? I have to learn to let this go, I'll only drive myself crazy.

"That's right he is, now can we get on with this?"

"Oh yeah sorry… Please go on."

"One of the first things they will do is put in a port."

"The thing that goes under my skin, right?"

"Yes, exactly."

"That's so cool."

Carson laughed he had never really thought about it that way. Sure, it's cool to doctors but it was cool on a whole other guy level too.

"Yeah it is it's like being a cyborg almost." He teased.

They grinned at each other.

"Sheppard's going to be so jealous." Rodney smirked.

That sent them into a fit of laughter.

John walked in just as they began laughing.

"What? What's so funny?"

That only made them laugh more.

"Okay, I'll just wait until you guys are done."

He crossed his arms like a disapproving teacher waiting for the boys to settle down.

Once Rodney and Carson quit giggling, Rodney looked at John sheepishly.

"We were just…"

"Yeah ,I know it was something about me. Now can we get this show on the road? I want to talk to Rodney before we head out."

"Aye, Colonel I was just finishing up. Why don't you stay?"

"If it's okay with Rodney."

"It's fine with me."

"As I was saying, they will put a port in, under your skin a few inches below your collar bone. It will make it easier for you, less needle sticks."

"What does it do exactly?" John asked.

"It is called a subcutaneous implantable port. It's a permanent device consisting of a reservoir placed under the skin that is connected to a catheter placed in a large vein. This allows us to give you fluids, meds, even nutrition, a lot quicker for us and a lot easier on you."

"Sounds pretty cool Mc Kay."

"I know right!"

Carson smiled, happy the two could find something fun in this.

"Anyway, that's about it. Do you have any other questions Rodney?"

"Yes, I wanted to know more about this intrathecal chemotherapy."

"Well I'm not the expert on that—"

"I know but I want you to explain it to me."

"Fair enough, because you have developed CNS involvement of your cancer, we need to treat that on a separate pathway than your other chemo. The intrathecal- chemo has to be administered either through a reservoir placed in the brain or injected slowly into your spine by an experienced oncologist."

"Will it make the leg thing go away?"

"That's the hope."

"What are the side effects?"

"It will probably give you a headache and may make you sick to your stomach, sometimes other side effects occur but every person is different."

"What about the other chemo?"

"Rodney, I haven't chosen your protocol so I can only answer that in the most general of terms."

"Well, am I going to throw up? Will I lose my hair?"

"Again, I don't know. It all depends on what you and Dr. Morgan decide to use for your treatment, and on how your body reacts to the medicine."

Rodney let it sink in and then turned to Carson.

"Alright, thanks Carson. Can you give me and John a minute?"

"Certainly, I have some more things to get ready any way."

He gave Rodney a smile and walked out of the room to let the two to talk.

John sat in the chair next to the bed and sighed.

"You alright ?" He nodded his head towards Carson's retreating form.

"Yeah we talked."

"Good. How are you feeling about all of this? After our conversation yesterday I was worried we pushed you into this."

"Well you did. But it's okay, I think you know if I really didn't want to do this there would be no way you could make me."

John chuckled at that.

"Yeah Mc Kay, you're one stubborn son of a bitch."

"Don't forget I'm resourceful too."

"Rodney there is no doubt in anyone's mind that if you wanted to, you could run off and do what you want, and we couldn't stop you. I'm just glad you're giving us … no yourself, this chance."

Rodney shifted nervously under John's intense gaze.

"Sheppard quit looking at me like that!"

"Looking at you like what?"

"Like I'm gone already, I can't take it!"

"It's not like that Rodney. I'm just thinking about all the fun we're going to have getting into trouble when you come back."

John's voice cracked, but Rodney decided not to comment, he could see his friend was having a hard time.

"I know I can't wait to see Woolsey pull out the rest of his hair."

The two began laughing in earnest.

When their laughter faded into a pensive silence, John steeled himself and put his hand on Rodney's arm.

"Rodney?"

McKay swallowed hard, alarmed by John's touch.

"John?"

"You know the things you said to me last week? I just want you to know—"

"That's alright Sheppard I get it. We're good."

Oh, how John wanted to take that offer of dropping it, but he knew he couldn't let it go unsaid.

"No, you need to listen to me. I need to say this."

With a sigh Rodney said, "Fine, if you must."

"I need you to know Rodney that you are my brother, the one I always needed and couldn't have with my biological brother. You make me laugh, you stand by me, and you challenge me intellectually and emotionally. Because of you, I am a better leader, a better man. I could never have gone through these past six years and survived without you. You are an extraordinary man and my best friend. Of all the things Atlantis has given me your friendship is the most precious. I want you to know, as corny and girly as it sounds, that I love you too, and I will do anything for you."

The moment expanded into a heavy silence, where both men fought to keep their composure.

"I—I … Thank you." Rodney choked.

"Come here buddy."

John got up, bent over to Rodney, and gave him a heartfelt if awkward hug.

"You ready to get the hell out of here?"

"Well one infirmary is the same as another."

"I hear ya."

Jennifer held back as long as she could before telling the two friends it was time to go, and that she wanted a minute with Rodney too.

"What's going on in here? What are you two plotting?"

"The usual."

"Great, either you're going to blow something up, or I won't have hot water for a week."

They gaped at her in mock shock.

"How could you say such a thing Jennifer?" Rodney shrieked.

"With my mouth, see I open my lips and then my diaphragm forces air over my vocal chor—"

"Oh ha ha."

"I can see what you see in her Mc Kay." John's smile was huge.

"She's all right I guess."

"Meredith Rodney Mc Kay! You better knock it off or you get no kisses from me!"

John hissed, "Watch it Mc Kay she looks like she means it."

"You know I could always get them from John, he does love me you know."

Jennifer cracked up at that and John turned beet red, and retorted, "Forget it McKay, Ronon has dibs on me."

"Oh well I guess if you're into that beefcake thing then Conan's your man."

They were all giggling like school kids when Carson came in.

"What the heck is going on in here?"

The trio looked innocently at Carson.

"Nothing, we're just talking."

"Yeah right, well come on Colonel I think these two need a minute."

"Bye John." Jennifer said sweetly.

"Bye John –John dear." Rodney squealed.

John rolled his eyes as Carson pulled him out of the room.

"