Will it be better to let this cloud pass by?
And you will know where I came from
Where I'm going to, and that I'm right here
"Have you lost your fucking mind? Break into her house?" Billy asked, pinning Heco by the collar of his jacket and onto the wall, his forearm over Heco's neck.
"Fuck, man! I needed to talk to you!"
"Oh, you wanna talk? Go on, talk!", he ordered, pressing his forearm even harder, making Heco gasp for air.
"Let me go, dog!"
Billy let go of his grip, searched his jacket for his pack of smokes and lit one up.
"You have any fucking idea of what you did last night? Or what you didn't do?"
"Grow some fucking balls, Heco. Since when do you need me to carry on a job like that?"
Heco ran his hand over his head, looking around.
"You don't get it, do you? You just don't fucking get it."
"Get what? There's nothing to get. We had a job to do, you went there and nailed it. What else there is to it?"
Heco turned away from Billy, and cussed under his breath.
"Fucker."
Billy turned his head and asked, trying his best not to pin that man against the wall again and breaking the hell out of his face.
"How's that again?"
Heco came back, and defiantly faced Billy. He had always been dumb like that, but then he was just too disappointed to think straight at least.
"That's right, you're a fucker. Can't you fucking see that we are who we are because you fucking made us?"
A loud, cynical laugh came out of Billy's mouth.
"No shit. So, if it wasn't for Billy, your savior, you would all have drowned in a fucking boring straight life. Fuck off. You are a fucking meth-head 'cause you want to. You work for me 'cause you want to. Spink left us and what happened? Nothing. Fucking nothing. You're being a fucking crybaby, I ain't your nanny, or no one else's for that matter. You work for me and that's it. That's all that there is to it."
"All right, man. Whatever", Heco replied, unable to hide his frustration.
"Did you get the money?"
"Yeah."
"Did you get the guy?"
"Yeah."
"We're good then. Anything else?"
Heco shook his head, and Billy turned around to leave.
"Wait! Just... wait."
"What?"
"This girl, man."
"What girl?"
Heco knew that Billy's reaction would be unpredictable, but he had to know. It could change everything.
"Man, there was something wrong with Lisa, and I knew it all along."
Billy narrowed his eyes.
"Don't you even go there."
"Wait, Billy, listen to me. Bodie did his research, and you know he's good at that shit. Do you know who she's running from?"
"I don't know, some gang leader or something."
"It's not 'some gang leader', dog. It's Matt. Matt 'Mad Bull' Hoyt."
They all have heard that name before, and it always sent a discreet chill down Billy's spine. Mad Bull's reputation was well known across the northeast area, as one of the most feared, most violent gangsters. His reaction was to try and act aloof.
"So?"
"So? So, word around Motor City is that there's 100 g's waiting for whoever brings her back, breathing or not. Got that? A hundred thousand. I'm telling you, you better leave the girl alone, 'cause someone's gonna come after her, and you don't wanna be a part of that shit."
For the first time, Billy was forced to consider the price of a life, and somehow, a hundred thousand dollars was not enough. He blew the smoke away, feeling the blood slowly speeding up in his veins.
"Who else knows about this?"
"Just me and Bodie. The less people know about this, the better. It's not like I love her, but I don't want this to turn into a fucking treasure hunt or something. Too much headache for us and that's the last thing we need right now."
Billy looked around, just t make sure that there was no one around.
"Good. Let's go."
Lisa watched through the window as the engines roared and the Mustang disappeared down the road. She sighed, expecting some relief inside her chest, but there was none. A tear rolled down her cheek as Lisa closed her eyes, hurtfully. She was still holding on to James, who was completely silent, his head buried on her shoulder.
"You want me to stay around for a while?", Alma asked, tenderly. Lisa didn't need to answer that.
"Come on, James. Why don't you show me your Hot Wheels collection?"
Lisa put him on the floor and he looked back at her. She just couldn't help but kneel down and hold him tightly again.
"Don't worry, honey, it's over, it's all over, ok?", she said, fluffing his hair. "Now go get your cars, Alma can't wait to see them!"
They went to his bedroom, and Lisa let herself fall on the bed, the tears now flowing freely, soaking the sides of her face. She couldn't get her head around the fact that Heco had called her Mrs. Hoyt. She was never an official "Mrs", but how did he know about that surname? If Heco ever spilled the beans to anyone in Detroit, that would be the end of Lisa. It was that simple. It would be a long, painful end, just the way Matt liked to treat his enemies. It was bad enough to have him on her side, she knew it was much worse to be on his end of the sewer. Lisa didn't stand a chance, unless... unless she had protection. And she was not sure if Billy would be up to that. She spent the rest of the day locked up with James, trying her best not to freak out, or freak him out. She had to make him believe everything was just fine, although she was getting completely paranoid, and Lisa had every reason to feel that way.
When Bodie finally arrived home, Alma was waiting, pacing around, ready to confront him.
"Tell me what you know", she demanded, the minute he stepped in.
"Whoa, hey! I guess I should've arrived later", he said, turning around to leave. Alma grabbed his arm to stop him.
"You're staying. You know why Heco called Lisa Mrs. Hoyt, and you're gonna tell me. You're gonna tell me right now."
"Fuck", he exclaimed, under his breath. "All right. Her little red head is worth a hundred grand. Happy now?"
"Wh-what?"
"Matt, her ex-husband or whatever, also known as Mad Bull, happens to be the most feared gang leader in Detroit. And he just put up an offer for her, dead or alive, a few days ago."
Alma's jaw dropped to the ground, as she started considering all the possibilities.
"Are you...? Will you...?"
"Well, as much as I fucking hate her, and as much as I'd like to have that money, she's still Billy's girl and doing that would be a fucking death sentence. All I'm saying is that she's in deep shit. And I mean, deep shit. If you're gonna tell her about this, you tell her to get fucking smart and move her ass right back to Detroit, before something happens to her. Or her kid. And it will happen, you know that."
"Oh... oh my God. Sweet Jesus."
"No one can save her from Mad Bull, Alma. Not even Jesus", Bodie said, from the kitchen. Alma didn't think twice and ran upstairs. Any knock on the door was enough to make Lisa's heart jump out her chest.
The look on Alma's face told Lisa that something was off.
"What? What is it?"
"Is James asleep?"
"Yeah. Come on, you've got me panicking here."
"It's just that... ok, it's Bodie. He found out that... your ex is giving out a hundred thousand to whoever brings you back to Detroit."
Lisa felt like all thoughts and memories fled from her head. She did not know what to think. All she could do was repeat the information, to confirm the size of the problem she found herself in.
"A hundred... a hundred thousand?"
The silence that followed framed Alma's upcoming answer.
"Dead or alive."
"Oh. Oh my."
Lisa sat down on the couch, her hand over her chest, rocking back and forth like a defenseless child.
"My God, my God! He's so fucking coward that he doesn't even have the guts to find me by himself! Did Bodie tell anyone about this? Does anybody else know? Oh, they're gonna come for me, you don't know the kind of people he works with. They're gonna come for me, and James, and we won't even have time to..."
It was impossible not to cry. It was way too overwhelming to know that she had a price tag on herself, and it had an awful lot of zeroes.
"I'm sorry, Lisa. I don't even know what to say", Alma rubbed her arms, trying helplessly to comfort Lisa.
"Now what?"
There was not a drop of hope in Lisa then. Everything she had fought for was in vain.
"I guess you have to ask yourself how far you would go to protect the life you've built."
Lisa took a moment to think, and it didn't take more than a second for her to come up with that answer.
"I'd do whatever it takes. Whatever."
"I bet you did a lot of stuff in your life that wasn't worth it. Now whatever you wanna do, it's worth it, Lisa. It's your life, your son's life at stake. What are you gonna do?"
"I'll come up with something."
"There you go. Keep in mind that he doesn't know that you know it, so that gives you a little... advantage."
Lisa grinned, wiping away the tears. Alma pulled her in a long, tight hug, and left them. More than quickly, Lisa grabbed her cell phone and called the only person in Detroit who knew where she was, or so she thought. While it rang, Lisa was chewing on her nails.
"Milly?"
All Lisa heard was a gasp and then silence. She knew that Milly was going somewhere else to be able to talk to her.
"Oh my motherfucking god, I was so worried about you, but you told me not to call you, I didn't know what to do!"
"I know, I know, all right? You know why I'm calling."
"I heard."
"How bad is it?"
"Remember the Bishops?"
Yes, Lisa remembered the Bishops, she was there. They were probably the most violent couple of nights of her life.
"What are you gonna do?"
"I don't know, Milly, but this has got to end. I can't go on knowing that he's out there, shit, he could be at my door right now. He will kill me if he feels like doing it."
"I can assure you he's still here for now. But he has a million contacts, you know that. That's probably how you came to know about it. Who told you anyway?"
"That's another problem I gotta take care of, but first things first. I, uh... I'm gonna give it a thought, and then I'm gonna call you again, probably from another number. All right?"
"All right, Rus. Please, watch out. Ok? If you need anything, just call me."
It was becoming harder and harder for Billy to find any amusement in all that ugliness, after such a delightful night. Peace wasn't scaring him anymore, and he had to thank Lisa for that accomplishment.
The guys couldn't be more beat up when Billy walked into the office.
"Fuck me. It doesn't even look like you hit jackpot last night."
Bodie looked at him at the corner of his eye. They were all as disappointed as Heco, and Billy just couldn't grasp it.
"Can somebody fucking tell me how it went, at least?"
"It was a piece of cake, man", Bodie broke the silence and tapped Joe's shoulder. "Little Joe here popped the motherfucker."
"That's my boy. What about the job? How much did you get?"
They all dodged from his sight.
"I asked you, how much did you fucking get?"
"20 grand, man. No witnesses or nothing. Quick and clean."
"Good."
Billy was a flawed man, but his sense of street fairness was intact. He wasn't there with them, he wouldn't get a dime from that money. It was theirs to take.
"All right. Joe, you go home and get some rest, get a cup of coffee or something, you look like shit. You both go and do whatever you gotta do and... I'll be back later."
That was a long sentence for his patterns, but Billy felt like he could talk for hours and still wouldn't be able to express how distressed he was. That feeling of absolute repugnance that oppressed and overwhelmed him was becoming more and more unbearable. When he got out of the building, he had no idea where he was going. Billy just started the engines and sped up to nowhere, the radio blaring.
There's a pain that sleeps inside, it sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave...
Though I try to look away, the pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me...
Do you know that every time you're near, everybody else seems far away?
So can you come and make them disappear?
Make them disappear and we can stay...
Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear... (Hoobastank)
When Billy finally came to his senses, he didn't know where he was, how many red lights he had crossed, or how fast he was going. No matter how far he went, there was no escaping the truth. Lisa's life was at stake, and she was in real danger. The worst part was, he wasn't sure of what he wanted to do about it. Fuck, he could hear himself breathing. Billy looked around and realized he was in front of a diner. He could definitely use some coffee.
"Hello, sir."
Billy took a good look at the waitress, and saw in her eyes that same fear that he was used to see in the eyes of everyone that crossed paths with him. he used to enjoy that, but now it seemed so meaningless.
"What can I get for you?"
He flipped through the menu, considering all answers to that question, and settled for the easiest one.
"I'll just have coffee and… scrambled eggs… and bacon."
She turned on her heels and Billy searched for his cigarettes, and also found Lisa's lighter. He held that silver square in his hands, the cold metal cooling down his blood, just the way that Lisa managed to cool down his unrelenting rage. She made him want things he never had. He'd rather spend one night in the safety of her home, of her arms, than a whole month cooking and selling meth. How could he ever hand Lisa's head on a silver plate for a hundred thousand dollars, especially now that he knew who James' father was, and what he could – and probably would – do to her? Moreover, he wasn't even sure if he would be able to protect her from him. The stories he had heard about Matt were terrifying. Billy honestly didn't think that he or Lisa stood a chance.
By Monday, Lisa was still alert and watchful, but without a hint of despair. Knowing that she was one step ahead made her a little more relaxed. She could do that. She had to. A rather simple plan was starting to form in her mind, she just had to get her ideas straightened out and do it. Either way, all week long, Lisa went from home, to the day care, to the market, and back. No stops, no deviations, nothing. She was confident, but that couldn't blind her from the dangerous situation she and her son were going through.
That was a quiet, concentrating week, and Kat understood it after asking Lisa about three or four times if everything was ok, and getting a head nod as an answer. Lisa really enjoyed her company, but this was so crucial that she couldn't afford to think about much else.
But on that Thursday, Lisa was particularly fidgety and restless, she didn't know why. Maybe it was just that her plan was finally coming together, and the fact that it would happen very soon was enough to throw her off track.
"All right, I know you've been quiet and shit the whole week, but oh my god, what the hell is up with you today?"
Lisa tried not to look at Kat.
"Nothing, I'm just… do you know if Greg's here?"
"Yeah. He just passed by us, like, two minutes ago. Why?"
Definitely Lisa's mind was someplace else.
"I gotta talk to him, I need a day off on Saturday."
"Is everything ok?"
"Yes, Kat, everything's fine. I just gotta go back to Detroit for a day or two."
"Back? What for?"
"Unfinished business."
I guess the look in her eyes gave Lisa away.
"Oh, hell no", Kat said to herself, while Lisa put the "closed" sign on her counter and went on to talk to Greg.
That was a real winter day. It was only 5pm, but it was almost as dark as midnight, and a cold wind that could freeze your bones. The fact that it had snowed on and off all day long wasn't helping either.
As soon as Lisa set foot outside the market, her head instantly turned around, left and right, checking for something, for someone. After making sure she was alone, Lisa started walking, her arms crossed in front of her chest, marching on like a soldier. But something was very wrong that day, her street sense was telling her to get home as soon as she could… and Lisa had learned to trust that sense a long time ago. That was why she pulled out her penknife from her bag and kept holding on to it until she was in front of the daycare. Every corner she turned got my heart racing, getting me ready for the worse. Fortunately, nothing happened until she had her kid in my arms.
Lisa pulled him by the hand, and he almost stumbled.
"Mom! Stop!"
Lisa did, and turned around to kneel down to talk to him.
"I'm sorry, honey, but mom's in a hurry, ok? We need to get home right away."
"Why?"
"I, uh… I really gotta pee!" she whispered, making him giggle. She had to take the seriousness out of the situation, it was bad enough as it was.
They literally ran out of the daycare, but had to slow down due to the snow and slush that were covering the ground. All her senses were heightened, and she could almost feel the wind produced by someone throwing a rock on a streetlamp. Immediately, she turned around to protect James, but they couldn't stop walking.
"What's that, mom? I'm scared!", he exclaimed, his voice trembling with fear.
"Just some idiot, don't worry. Come on, James, we gotta go."
People all around them were panicking but Lisa didn't have time for that. There was nothing else to do but speed up, they were only one block away from home. Lisa thought that the amount of people on the streets stopped them from doing whatever it was that they came to do. They ran up the stairs, and she was so blinded by anxiety that she bumped with all her strength with someone. It was Bodie.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you running away from, Lisa? Or should I call you…"
"Don't."
He raised his hands.
"All right, all right. But you know that you should be running from here, and not to here."
Lisa tried not to let him get on her nerves, and walked past him, her hand crushing James'.
"Don't make me say I told you so!", he shouted. Son of a bitch.
"What was he saying, mom?"
"Nothing, James. I already told you not to pay attention to what he says. Get in, come on."
Being away from Lisa did no good for Billy at all. Without her to pull him back from the life he was leading, he spiraled back, deep into his old self. Now Heco and Bodie got Billy convinced that he should leave her alone. Not that he was at peace with that decision, far from it. Walking away now was more uncomfortable than ever, it just made him feel less of a man for not standing his ground. But Matt wasn't a problem he was ready to face just yet.
"Hey man." Heco approached Billy, who was leaning on his car.
"Yeah."
"Listen, uh… remember Susie?"
"Nope."
"That freak blonde bitch, friends with my sister… you met her at a party a few months ago…"
"Oh yeah. So?"
Billy's laconic self was back with full force.
"I thought I'd invite her to Four Roses tonight. What do you say?"
"What the fuck are you talking about? We gotta work tonight."
"Come on, dog! You've been working 24x7 this week, we can handle it. I know how much you enjoyed banging her."
Billy cut him off.
"Not interested."
"You still whining over that bitch? That shit's past, man. If she isn't dead by now, she will be in a week or two, you know that. Getting laid might help you get over it."
What harm would it be? It would be just one more girl, one more night, in a life that was becoming more and more pointless as the days passed by.
"Think about it, man. I'll even ask Sammy to close the bar down tonight so that you can be, you know, all alone. Get a little drunk, fuck her on the counter or whatever."
"All right. You tell her to shut her mouth 'cause I ain't in the talking mood today."
"You got it", Heco said, walking away to call his sister.
Billy hadn't called or showed up, and Lisa knew why. She knew that the thought of getting the money had crossed his mind at that point, and that her troubles were too much for him to handle… somehow Lisa wished that he'd fight for her, but right now she was just thankful that he hadn't sold her out just yet. The truth was that she was on her own, with a round trip ticket to Detroit in her pocket.
She got home in the afternoon, made some dinner for her and James, and started packing a little bag.
"Where are we going, mom?" James asked, seeing her taking clothes off the drawers and shoving them into the bag.
"Oh honey, mom's going on a little trip. But don't worry about it, I'll go and come back in the same day. And Alma is taking you to an amusement park while mom is out. How's that?"
"I don't want you to go", he said, frowning. Lisa got closer to him.
"James, I have to. Ok? It's a very important trip, I'll be back on Sunday and you'll be just fine. All right?"
"Fine" he replied, still not convinced. Lisa was also not that convinced herself.
She was done packing, had just tucked James in, when Alma came over, looking frightened.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do. You have to go to Four Roses now. Right now."
"What?"
"I just passed by the bar, and all the lights are out, the front panel is broken and Billy's car is there. I can't find Bodie, or Heco, or Joe, something's going on, Lisa, I know it", she said, all at once, jumbling the words.
"Shit", she said, under her breath. The timing couldn't be worse. "All right. Did you see anything else?", Lisa asked from her bedroom.
"Yeah, there was a… a black truck parked beside the Mustang."
Lisa placed her hands on her dresser, shaking her head as she connected the dots. "Oh, fuck."
