After the trio had finished painting the Hokage tower – with tooth brushes mild you – Deidara had decided... he wanted a pet.
"Hey. I saw that typo there!" Deidara snarled, "How dare you called me a she!"
"What are you going on about?" The Puppeteer of the group asked, for the slow minded people, it was Sasori.
"I don't know, I saw a typo in the script where it says 'decided... he' Weasel had written 'she'! IT WAS ON PURPOSE I TELL YOU!"
"See? Deidara knows they're their too" Naruto chirped just as they walked into the pet store.
"Uh... Whatever... Just... Pick out a pet, Deidara" Sasori retorted
"'Kay!" Deidara yelled, running to the birds
"Oh god, I hope ...he's not going to get a bird." Pein muttered
"HEY! I SAW THAT TYPO TOO!" Deidara yelled.
Naruto walked over to the puppies with Oto, who appeared out of nowhere like always.
'I hope you're planning on getting a new dog, kit' Kyuubi smirked
'Nobody asssked you, you... you... THING!' Oto snarled at the Great Demon, causing said Demon to burst out laughing
'HAHAHA! THING? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH?'
'Ssshut up, turd!'
'HAHAHA TURD!'
'I SSSAID SSSHUT UP, OR ELSSSE!'
'Ohhh, I'm sooo scared!' Kyuubi clutched at his heart, giving a mocking frightened gasp
'Hrmph, you better be, fattie' Oto scowled, oblivious to the sarcasm
'HEY! I ALREADY TOLD YOU! MY FUR IS THICK!'
'Sssure it is, fat-asssss' Oto laughed
The Demon's eyes watered, 'STOP CALLING ME FAT!' Kyuubi sobbed
'Lossse sssome weight then, Fatty Fat McChubby!'
'At least I don't slur and draw out my s'es!'
Oto was silent.
'HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!'
Naruto rolled his eyes and picked up a kitten, "I want a Kitty!" Naruto squealed
'NO/NO' Oto and Kyuubi yelled at the same time
Back with Deidara
"I want this, and this, and this!" Deidara pointed out the animals as he ran passed, "I don't know what that is, but I want that too!" He grinned, pointing at a Skunk
"That's a Skunk, and no, you're not getting a skunk, or a cheetah, or a wolf, or a Porcupine"
"Then what can I get?" Deidara pouted, he... his eyes watering...
"HEY. STOP WITH THE TYPOS!"
The Puppeteer simply pointed towards the fish
"Wha..."
With Pein, Itachi, and Tobi
"I... Want a Weasel..." Itachi muttered, picking up a small Weasel from its cage
"Hey, you can't pick up the animals!... And how did you get that cage open!" A worker for the pet store told and asked
"Nobody cares what you want."
With Ai, Yuu, and Hanabi
"Where'd everybody go?" Ai asked, looking around the large pet store
"I imagine to look around" Yuu told him, watching Hanabi stuff a canary into her mouth
"HEY! NO EATTING THE BIRDS!" A worker for the pet store yelled
"Nobody cares what you want"
With Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Zetsu
"Why are we waiting outside?" Hidan asked
"Because Zetsu was banned from all pet stores for trying to eat everything. Kisame was banned for trying to free all the fish. I was banned for arson"
"Oh..." Hidan muttered, twiddling his thumbs
There was an awkward silence
"Why am I waiting with you guys then?" Hidan muttered, walking into the store
"HEY. NO LARGE WEAPONS IN THE STORE!" A worker for the pet-store yelled, pointing at Hidan's scythe.
"Nobody cares what you want" was his reply as he walked down all isle
At the check out
"What did you decide on?" Naruto asked, placing the kitten down on the counter, much to Kyuubi's and Oto's dismay
"Sasori said I can only get a fish" Deidara said, placing the tied water-filled bag with a Beta fish in it on the counter next to Naruto's kitten
The kitten eyed the fish
The worker at the pet store shook his head as he watched the ninja trio walk out, soon followed by a man who bought a Weasel and the scythe carrying weirdo who bought a little white mouse
"God, I need a new job" he muttered.
With Hanabi
Hanabi giggled and opened all the cages, "BE FREE MY FURRY AND FEATHERY FRIENDS!" She yelled
"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T LET THOSE ANIMALS OUT THE C-" The poor worker was attacked by an angry mob of bunnies
Hanabi quickly followed after the others
With the others
Naruto watched Hanabi run up, a canary sitting on her head. His students were so weird.
"So. Let's all head off at home, and meet up there at 8:30 sharp – Tomorrow"
They all split up and headed to their rightful homes – 'cept Ai went with Yuu to an unknown place to do unknown things
Once the Akatsuki and Naruto had gotten home, they split up. Naruto was with Deidara and Kisame in the living room. Itachi was in the Kitchen with Pein and Tobi, the rest headed off to their rooms
"It's so small..." Deidara said, looking at his new pet fish, Same.
"That's what she said!" Naruto chuckled, petting his new kitten Maou. He cracked himself up sometimes.
"Oh shut up, Naruto" Kisame muttered
"You think it'll grow bigger soon?" Deidara asked, tapping the side of the fish bowl
Naruto grinned widely, "I'm sure your fish will grow bigger, but I doubt anything else of yours will grow bigger!" Naruto laughed loudly at Deidara
"Oh snap, bitch! BURN!" Itachi said, having just walked into the room and heard the question and the retort, followed by the cackling Tobi and Pein
Deidara twitched.
Sometimes, he hated living here.
There was a knock on the door
"Who is it?" Naruto asked the door
There was a silence, "It's Tsunade and-" Tsunade was cut off "AND HINATA AND HER PARTNER" Hinata yelled
"What's the secret password
There was a sigh
"Oonga boonga"
"'Kay, you can come in" Naruto grinned as they came in
"Naruto, we have to tal-"
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Naruto shrieked, cutting Tsunade off, and causing everybody to stare
"Didn't do what?" Tsunade asked, with an arching of her eyebrow
"I don't know, but whatever it was, I didn't do it" came the oblivious reply.
"Um... Okay..." Tsunade blinked
"... What did you want to say?"
"... I don't remember..."
"Why are you still here then?"
The Sloth Anbu scowled behind his mask
"Tsunade has a mission for you and the Akatsuki." The Sloth Anbu stated, taking off his mask
"HOLY SHIT! NEJI?" Hanabi yelled, pointing at her cousin
"... Yeah..."
"Since when did you become Sloth?"
"I've always been Sloth"
"I thought you were Hawk!"
"No. Kakashi is the Hawk"
"No, Kakashi is the Dog Anbu"
"No. Shikamaru is the Dog Anbu"
"... Why is Shikamaru a Dog?"
"Because Kiba is a Deer"
"Then who the hell is the Cheetah Anbu?"
"That's Shino"
"No way! Shino is the Butterfly!"
"No. Ino is the Butterfly"
"When did Ino become an Anbu!"
"When Choji and Tenten became Anbu"
"What the hell are they?"
"Choji is the Cupcake Anbu-" Neji was cut off
"Figured Choji would pick a Cupcake" Hanabi muttered
"..Ahem, as I was saying. Choji is the cupcake-" Neji was cut off again
"You already said Choji was a cupcake" Naruto chirped cheekily
"I KNOW I ALREADY SAID IT, STOP INTE-" Neji was cut off again
"Keep your voice down, Sloth" Tsunade crossed her arms
"SIGH... And Tent-"
"That Sigh was too loud"
"..." - Neji
"..." - Tsunade
"..." - Hanabi
"..." - Naruto
"Meow" Maou meowed, the tiny black kitten rubbing her cheek against Naruto's arm
"Tenten is t-" Neji was cut off again
"AWWW. When did you get a Kitten!" Hanabi and Tsunade squealed
'Ssstupid kitten isss taking up all the attention...' Oto muttered
"We stopped at the pet store. I got a Kitten – her name is Maou – Deidara got a fish – His name is Same – Itachi got a Weasel – her name is Itachi the Second, or Itaond for short – and Hidan got a mouse – his name is Ansatsusha. And Hanabi stole a Canary"
"Oh..."
"Can I PLEASE finish?" Neji asked, putting his Sloth mask back on
"Yeah. Sure. Go ahead" Hanabi muttered, petting the purring Maoi
"And Tenten is the Gazelle Anbu"
"Why a Gazelle?"
"... How the hell should I know?"
"Why the hell do we have such weird Anbu masks?" Tsunade asked herself out loud
"I'm a fox!" Naruto grinned
'No. I'M a Fox, you're just... oh wait, you are a fox demon now'
"NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR INPUT KYUUBI!" Naruto yelled, scaring everybody in the room
'YEAH WELL – YO MOMMA'
Naruto gasped
'Hey... That'sss mean...'
'SHUT UP MR. WANNABEASNAKERE-RE'
Oto sulked
Hanabi cleared her throat, "Who's the Snake Anbu?"
"That's that crazy bitch Anko"
Somebody crashed in through the window
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A CRAZY BITCH!" The Snake Anbu who just crashed in through the window yelled
"Why is everything so random?" Naruto scratched his head
With Hanabi
Hiashi watched his daughter play with her new Canary - Hae
How the hell did his daughter get a Canary?
Oh well.
Shit happens
"Hanabi, did you take your pills yet?"
"The green ones?"
"No, the blue ones"
"The pink ones?"
"No! The BLUE ones!"
"Gray?"
"BLUE!"
"Purple"
"BLUE!"
"BLUE?"
"BLUE!"
"BLUE!"
"GLUE!"
"FLUE!"
"MLUE!"
"What?"
"What..?"
"The blue ones?"
"Yes, the blue pulls"
"What pulls?"
"I meant Pills."
"You said Pulls though"
"IT WAS A TYPI!"
"Don't you mean Typo?"
"YES! A TYPO! GOD, JUST TAKE YOUR PILLS WOMAN!"
"You're a woman!"
"I'M A MAN!"
"YOU HAVE MAN BOOBIES!"
"I DO NOT, AND EVEN IF I DID, THEY'D BE BIGGER THAN YOU FLATIES!"
Hanabi gasped
"I'M TELLING ON YOU!"
"YOU'VE NOBODY TO TELL!"
"I'M TELLONG YOU'RE MOMMY!"
"MY MOMMY IS DEAD!"
Gasp
"GRANDMA DIED?"
"Oh damn, I knew I was forgetting something."
†††††
Maou – Satan
Same – Shark
Hae – Fly
Ansatsusha – Assassin
Itaond – Itachi the Second
