*All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.
*Just warning you that Bella describes a little bit of the torture that she went through so if you are squeamish I suggest that you skip this one.
"Of course." I smiled a small calm smile, but inside my body I was jumping up and down in excitement. This was the first sign of the old Bella we had seen since finding her and I could only hope that this was the true start of her healing.
The journey downstairs and to the kitchen was slow and awkward with Bella trying to get there with her own strength, but eventually we made it and I sat her down at the table, Carlisle bringing over the breakfast that he had finished making.
The kitchen stayed quiet as Carlisle and I cleaned up the dishes and kept an eye on Bella while she ate and the rest of the family went about their business, trying not to spoil Bella's new efforts at recovery.
After Bella had eaten a small portion of her food she sat and pushed the food around with her fork, her mind seeming to be miles away. As I heard Charlie approaching the kitchen I turned around just in time to see his startled expression as he took in the sight of his daughter sitting there, eating her food quietly as though nothing had happened.
"Bella?" His voice was surprised and I moved to take Charlie's plate out of the oven and bring it over to him at the table. "You're up?" she moved her eyes to look up at him and sat back in her chair before replying.
"Yeah, I'm up Dad," she sighed and dropped the fork to her plate, "I'm sorry for being so stubborn before... I'm ready to try and get better now." she spoke up and Carlisle squeezed my shoulder gently, the happiness I felt at her admission nearly making me giddy.
We left the two of them in the kitchen after that and tried not to listen in on their conversation as Bella apologized for her behavior since being found and Charlie cried gratefully at the fact that she wanted to live again, she wanted to heal.
The days passed by and I felt a sense of peace knowing that Bella was finally accepting the fact that she was alive and able to recover. She still spent most of her time in her room, but she did come down for meals and would occasionally sit in the living room with us while we watched a movie. The only exception being if Edward was anywhere in the room. And while I was happy for Bella, happy that she was alright, I also felt an ache at knowing that our time with her was drawing to a close.
Her relationship with her father had strengthened, but with us, nothing had really changed. She accepted mine and Alice's help, Carlisle's medical advice and Rosalie's presence... but it was always within a tense atmosphere, all of us avoiding the questions around us, afraid to upset the momentary peace that we were feeling.
One week had gone by since my confrontation with Bella and I was beginning to feel nervous about Bella's desire to leave and return to Forks with Charlie. Carlisle felt much the same way that I did and I know both Alice and Edward were in agony at the thought of letting her go again after we had just found her.
"I wish we could help her with these nightmares." Emmett glanced over at Bella who was napping on the couch, her head frantically turning from side to side, her arms and legs thrashing around under the blanket I had covered her with.
It wasn't the first time we had witnessed this display from her, but we didn't know what we could do to help her through them. We had tried everything we could think of, even asking Jasper to try and douse her with a strong dose of lethargy to put her into a deeper dreamless state, but even that hadn't helped.
When they had started this time we had all been in the living room watching a movie, Edward moving around upstairs, his frustration about Bella not accepting him in the room reaching all of us. She had dozed off almost as soon as the opening credits had begun and I had moved her to a more comfortable position, placing the blanket over top of her to keep her warm.
"I wish she would at least talk to me... or anyone about them. But she won't. She hasn't said a word about what happened to her while she was there and I don't think that's good for her." Charlie spoke up from the chair that he was occupying. He was becoming antsy to get back to his home in Forks but I also knew that he was terrified of taking her home by himself, his hope that we would return to Forks as well was obvious.
"Alice, can you tell us something?" I asked and looked at my daughter who was as usual curled up under Jasper's arm. Her eyes partially glazed over as they often were while Bella slept. At my request though she pulled out of whatever it was she was seeing and shook her head no, refusing to fill us in on what details she knew.
Since her awakening Alice had changed nearly as much as Bella had. Alice had become quiet, the exuberance that we had come to expect from her gone as she spent most of her time sitting quietly with Jasper, her eyes haunted by the things that Bella had shown her.
"Alice... Please... tell us something, anything that can help her." I hadn't heard Edward come into the room and watched him as he cautiously moved to Bella's side and sat on the floor beside the couch, taking her hand in his as she slept, the thrashing quieting instantly as her body reacted to his presence.
"I... I... Can't..." she whispered as she continued to shake her head as though she was shaking the memories away. Jasper shifted so that he was glaring at Edward, the force of his stare causing a shiver to travel up my back.
"Please Alice. I can't stand to see her like this." he begged her softly.
"She's dreaming about her first few days at the cabin with Victoria and Riley." Alice took her time speaking and I was surprised that she said anything this time after refusing for so long. "Riley and Taylor were both so new that Victoria had to spend the first weeks with Bella training them to get used to her blood so that they wouldn't kill her. She made sure that both of them fed regularly, bringing their meals to the cabin for them so they would be forced to resist killing Bella while eating. She would take blood from Bella and spread it around the cabin, forcing them to become immune to her scent. The girl, Taylor... she wanted to leave... she didn't trust Victoria. But Riley was convinced that if they left Bella then Victoria would kill them both... if we didn't find them first." I know my face reflected the horror that I felt at what had been done to Bella, but I had a feeling that Alice was just barely touching on the things that she had endured.
"Bella's dreaming about that time right now. She's remembering how much she fought against Victoria at first, how she hurt herself by trying to pull out of her grasp, how she swore that we would be coming for her soon, how she plead with us to find her, for me to see her and help her." Alice's voice cracked with the last sentence and I fought back the urge to cry out, the guilt eating at me.
I was about to urge Alice to continue to tell us more about what Bella had gone through when Bella's shriek pierced the air, her body bolting upright on the couch as her eyes fluttered open and looked around the room, her gaze settling in shock on Edward's surprised expression.
No one moved while we waited for her reaction, the vampires in the room all holding their breath as Bella's face changed from shock to anger to sadness and back to anger.
"What are you doing Edward?" she hissed out, snatching her hand out of his grasp and backing up to the corner of the couch.
"I'm sorry Bella. You were having a nightmare and I couldn't stand not being near you, being unable to do anything to comfort you." he apologized and stood up, backing up towards the wall.
"You wanted to be near me and comfort me?" she hissed again and I was startled by how wild... how feline... she sounded. "What about when I was in Victoria's hands Edward. Did you want to be near me and comforting me then?" she demanded and I watched as most of the family began to stand up and move discreetly out of the room.
"Bella... I thought..."
"Oh I know what you thought Edward. You thought that I was a mere mortal who couldn't possibly reciprocate the feelings that you had for me, my humanity being more important than remaining by my side." she paused and used a hand to push her hair back from her face, her body twisting angrily towards Edward, something in her needing to be released.
"You thought that you were chasing Victoria away to South America so that she couldn't hurt me anymore... but really Edward she was chasing you, trying to taunt you into returning to find me... but you didn't believe that did you? So instead of coming to find me... you ran further away. And during that time do you know what I felt? I felt a pull to go to you that was so painful I could hardly stand it and yet you kept pulling." she ranted at him loudly, her voice growing stronger, her eyes more wild as she let it out.
"Bella... I..."
"Edward. She sent texts, emails, pictures. I saw you every few days, tracked you as you moved farther and farther away from me, as the pain nearly ripped me in two while I was chained to a wall." she screamed and I looked over at her in surprise.
"What I don't understand though Edward is that Riley... he took pictures too. He sent them to Victoria so that she could taunt you into returning with images of what I looked like." she paused and her voice lowered slightly as she spoke again. "The first few times it was just pictures of me chained up, I was cut up and bruised but it wasn't anything that I couldn't tolerate. After that though Victoria gave them ideas and they would bruise me, they would pose me for the pictures and then send them back to her so she had new material for taunting you with. But even that... that didn't break me because I foolishly believed that you would come back when you saw what was happening, that you cared enough to rescue me from that. The first day that Riley raped me, Taylor videotaped it and sent it to Victoria. I thought I was going to die while she had to hold him back from killing me, from ripping me into two with the force that he used. After that first time I began to accept that you weren't coming back, that I really was just a distraction for you." she was working hard at fighting back the tears at her memories and I felt the anger building back up inside of me at the things Bella described to us.
"The day that I finally gave up though Edward... it wasn't being hurt physically, being hit or thrown or broken or violated. It was a few days before I began to sense Alice with me. They were getting tired of Victoria's games and I was beginning to accept that it wouldn't be long before I would be dead. Victoria had one last plan to try and bring you back. They videotaped this one too... did you see it Edward?" I looked at Edward and his face was horrified, his normally pale skin whitened even further, "Taylor brought their usual food back but the little girl was still alive. She looked like a younger version of me... maybe eight years old. She was crying, begging me to help her when she was bitten and brought over to me. I could see the venom beginning to spread as the little girl started to scream in pain from the burning. I was given the choice to either drink from the little girl myself and put her out of her misery or let her change, become one of you." Both Bella and Alice had tears flooding down their cheeks and I felt as though I was going to be sick from Bella's description of what had happened.
I refused at first but her cries were heart-breaking, so Taylor, she made a small cut on the girls other arm and held her over my mouth, forcing me to drink from her. When the blood started to burn my mouth from the spreading venom they pulled her away from me and finished her off in front of me. They left her body there for days, reminding me of what I had done to her. And still... you didn't come back. That was the day that Victoria finally broke me." I moved to sit with Bella, unable to mask the horror that I felt at what had happened but unwilling to let her sit holding herself together.
"I'm so sorry Bella... so sorry." his words were muffled as his fist pounded against his own thigh, his other hand pulling on his hair.
"Did you see it Edward?" Carlisle turned to look at Edward and I couldn't quite distinguish the look on his face, something somewhere between a mixture of hurt and disgust.
"I saw some of it... bits and pieces... but Victoria guarded her mind, making it sound like she was planning these ideas, not actually seeing what they had already done. I never would have imagined that she had Bella... that I... oh God.. I made it worse by trying to stop her. I moved farther away when I should have returned. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I drew it out, I made it all so much worse." he groaned and sank down to the floor, dropping his head into his knees.
I looked around the room from my new spot on the couch with Bella. Alice was huddled with Jasper opposite us, Alice crying gently into Jasper's side. Edward remained crouched on the floor, his sobs causing his shoulders to heave. Carlisle was sitting in his chair by the fireplace, his expression concerning, as he looked from Bella to Edward and back again. Thankfully Charlie had left the room before Bella's descriptions of the torture and Emmett and Rosalie had gone to the kitchen with him as well, Emmett moving outside in anger after only a few minutes.
"I don't understand Edward. Why didn't you check on me? You said you left for my safety but you never even called to check on me, never asked Alice to look for me. You saw parts of Victoria's mind but you never thought to make sure that she wasn't just bluffing." Bella sounded tired as she spoke and I pulled her into my side, needing to comfort her as much as she needed to be comforted.
I didn't know what to say and the deafening silence around me confirmed that none of the others did either, all of us feeling shocked at the extent Victoria had gone to in trying to exact her revenge.
The silence didn't lift as Bella's occasional sobs and tired breathing changed back into a slow and steady rhythm as she drifted back to sleep, my arm keeping her close to me after hearing the true extent of everything that Victoria had done. I shifted her so that she was laying down, her head laying carefully on a pillow on my lap, Carlisle placing the blanket back over her sleeping body.
"You." Emmett's voice whispered the words but there was nothing soft about it as he stormed into the room, grabbing Edward by the collar. I didn't have a chance to react before Emmett was dragging Edward out the back door and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. My anger at Victoria once again directed at Edward, the thought that he had seen what Bella had been going through in her mind making me want to be sick. He had done nothing to help her when all along, in a way, he knew.
A/N: Okay, I know, dark dark dark. The good news though is that after this chapter everything is going to start getting better. I just felt that Bella really needed to get everything out and the family needed to realize the true extent of what Bella had gone through while under Victoria's care. I also know that this is a short chapter but I thought that with the extent of what Bella tells the Cullens it needed to be fairy short and on it's own.
