Disclaimer: SM still owns Twilight… I still don't own Jasper… Still doesn't stop me from wanting him.
All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.
Thanks to Robs for being my wonderful beta. Thanks to everyone for your patience… really sorry for the long wait. If it helps, this is the longest chapter yet – Enjoy!
~*~
"Go confidently in the directions of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
Chapter 12 – Into the Unknown
I very gently slipped from his bed, dressed and quietly crept out closing the door behind me. I placed my forehead against the door as I felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over me, making me feel even more emotional than I already was. I didn't sleep a wink last night.
I laid in his arms all night listening to his heart beat, feeling the warmth from his body on mine, it was agonizing and my heart broke with every breath he took. When did this happen? It was absolutely impossible to have such deep feelings for someone I barely knew, someone I'd just met. I wasn't that type of person; things like this just don't happen to me.
We'd had sex many times since we met, but last night Jasper made love to me with heart breaking tenderness, taking his time to touch me everywhere like he was trying to memorize my body. Through it all he never once asked me outright to stay, but his actions spoke volumes, he made me already miss the way he made me feel. How did this happen? I didn't deserve such reverence.
Why me? I silently asked over and over as I'd laid there afraid to shut my eyes. I didn't want to sleep, I was afraid if I let my guard down I'd lose my resolve and I wouldn't be able to make myself leave – ever. I had to constantly make myself focus, I didn't want to forget the feeling of him touching me, kissing me, moving inside me; he consumed me and I was sure I'd never feel like this again. I felt totally raw as I placed my palm on his door and wished him a silent goodbye. I took a ragged breath letting it out slowly before I turned away.
Now my only priority was to escape before any of my friends, old or new woke up to stop me. Although, the moment I turned around I knew I hadn't been quick enough; Edward was standing by the kitchen with two travel mugs in his hand. I forced a quick smile to my lips but it dropped away as quickly as I put it on.
"Ali."
"Edward." I replied, edging my way toward the exit.
"You need a ride."
As I was about to tell him no I realized his statement was correct, my car wasn't here and I needed a ride. "It's ok, I can call a cab."
He walked forward, holding out one of the mugs for me to take. "Come on, I'll take you," he said, leaving no room for argument as he put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down the hall.
We drove all the way to the beach house in complete silence, I felt so relieved. Although I knew Edward was a man of few words, I also knew he had deep feelings for both Bella and Jasper. He was incredibly loyal and I could only imagine what his opinion was on my decision to leave them both behind while I sorted my life out. My relief was short lived when he followed me inside to wait while I showered and packed, he had evidently planned on taking me to the airport too. I resigned myself to the fact that I probably wouldn't get off so lucky on the way there, he had to have something to say to me or he wouldn't have been waiting for me this morning.
I rushed to get ready, again not wanting to give anyone else time to notice I was gone. It didn't take me long, the hardest part was deciding what to take as I didn't know how long I'd be gone or where I'd even be going once things in Seattle were taken care of. All-in-all we were back on the road in less than an hour and I realized Edward was about to end his silence when I heard him clear his throat.
"Are you coming back?"
I looked down at my hands clenched tightly in my lap and didn't reply. That was another of the questions I'd been asking myself all night long, I didn't have an answer then and I didn't have one now.
"You know you aren't alone," Edward's voice was very calm and it made me relax a bit.
"I know I have the girls; they've always been there for me."
I saw him turn his head from the corner of my eye. "They're not all you have any more Alice," he said softly, "You have us now too."
My eyes flew up to meet his. I hadn't expected him to show me any concern; after all, I was going against the advice of Rose and Bella as well as hurting one of his best friends. "Jasper…" I whispered feebly.
"Not just Jasper," he reached over putting his hand on mine, "Me and Emmett as well; Alice you're part of our family now."
I swallowed back a sob and tried to smile, but I couldn't. I knew from what Jasper had told me, their friendship was much like the relationship Bella, Rose and I had formed. They were closer than any real siblings could be, it meant a great deal to be included in their family unit as well.
"Alice… Bella's told me about the three of you growing up together, what you've shared and the trouble you've caused – well mostly about the trouble Rose got you into," we both chuckled at the truth of that statement; it helped to ease the tension. "She told me a little about your life too… She didn't want to break any confidences, but she was trying to explain what you're looking for and I think I understand. I know it's not easy, but it's ok to trust your judgment."
Again I dropped my eyes to my lap, nodding only slightly. I could tell he wanted to say something else, but was hesitating.
"It's ok Edward, just say it."
He sighed, "Jasper loves you," he blurted out. "He's been looking for you for a long time… and really, I think you've been waiting a long time for him too, you just didn't know it."
I felt the car slow and looked up to see us pulling into the departures terminal, I thanked him for the ride.
"Goodbye Alice. Look after yourself while you're gone." He leaned over and kissed my forehead.
As I made my way through the terminal, I turned once to untangle the wheel of my suitcase and saw his car still parked at the curb, he hadn't left yet and I wondered if he was waiting for me to change my mind. I looked away and walked faster, putting more distance between us so I wouldn't be tempted to do just that.
~*~
Daughter, orphan, friend, student, wife, employee, divorcee… All labels of what I've been, who I was. A summary of my life, nothing staggering or meaningful… And now here I was, on a plane bound for Seattle. Alone.
I'd almost lost my resolve at the last minute and peeked to see if Edward was still there, but I didn't. I did the hard thing instead; I left all my safety nets behind and boarded the plane. I was a little bit proud of myself. My scowl reflected back at me in the window, it still made me feel sick, but at least I felt like I was doing the right thing.
I picked up a magazine from the pocket in front of me; it was a destinations guide showing full color, glossy prints from everywhere the airline flew. I flipped through the pages looking at the turquoise blue water, sandy beaches and thought of my beautiful beach house back in Malibu. I changed direction and flipped through it again back to front, this time seeing ancient architecture and the brilliant green landscape of various European countries. Now that was a possibility; I'd love to visit Italy, I could imagine myself living in a quaint little village learning to speak Italian and to cook like a local. I paused at a picture of a vineyard, with a little stone cottage perched on a hilltop. Artists had easels set up along the roadside overlooking the fields, painting the sunset on canvas. It made me think of Jasper.
I put the book back in the pocket and gave in. Everything was going to remind me of the friends I'd left behind so I figured why fight it as I purposely thought about Rose. I'd never seen her so happy, moving to be with Emmett was the best decision she'd ever made. They made a great couple and she was starting her own business perfectly suited to her. Her life was finally on track and I could see her settling down, which was sort of funny when I thought about it, it took a beast like Emmett to tame a beauty like Rose. I snorted to myself.
Then there was my sweet friend Bella. She was over the moon; she had truly found her soul mate in Edward. There was no question they were in love, they were the type of couple who could read each other's minds and finish each other's sentences. If I didn't love them so much they'd make me gag, but really, I was very happy for them and I was glad they were getting married. I frowned as I remembered how she'd made me promise that no matter what I'd be in her wedding. She may be reserved, but she was intuitive, she always seemed to know what I was thinking, sometimes even before I did.
I didn't want to think about going back yet, instead I started mentally going through the list of everything I had to do once I got to Seattle. Then I thought about what would come next, after I'd wrapped up all my loose ends. What I was going to do for the rest of my life? The ping of the seatbelts sign was like an alarm, signaling the beginning of my new life.
~*~
It was barely three in the afternoon when I found myself seated in Peter's office waiting for him arrive. I knew it had been a busy day for him but I was hoping he'd be able to spare a few minutes and according to his assistant, he was more than happy to meet with me as long as I didn't mind waiting; I'd already been here over a half hour and I was starting to feel antsy. I paced around his office stopping now and then to rearrange various nick-knacks on his book cases when I finally heard the door open.
"Alice, so nice to see you again," he smiled as he came over to hug me. "I'm sorry you had to wait so long. I wasn't expecting you or I would have made time."
"No problem Peter, I wasn't exactly expecting to be here myself." I smiled back at him as I took the seat in front of his desk again.
"So, what's up?" He put his briefcase on his desk as he sat down.
I shrugged, "Not much… I'm here to clean out the house."
Peter gave me a long look before he said anything, "You didn't have to come here for that Ali, I told you I'd take care of it." He narrowed his eyes as he regarded me again. "Why are you really here?"
I sighed as I got up and walked to the window, looking out but not focusing on anything. I heard Peter get up and felt him as he came to stand behind me. "I don't know," was all I could say.
"What happened?" he asked me quietly.
"Nothing… I just-" I shrugged again. I took a deep breath, mustering up the inner resolve to continue. "I just want to get everything finished and over-with. I don't want to have to think about it anymore. I've decided to travel a bit and don't want to leave anything unresolved while I do."
Peter didn't say anything, he stood quietly studying me for a moment before he turned and returned to his desk. I wondered what he was thinking.
"Alice, have a seat…" He motioned for me to sit.
I slowly returned to stand in front of the chair and crossed my arms defensively, but did not sit down.
"What's going on? Last time I saw you, although it wasn't under the best of circumstances, things seemed to be going well. You had your friends with you," he hesitated slightly, "And a boyfriend… What's changed?" The look of genuine concern in his eyes made me drop the act. He may be my lawyer, but he'd also become a friend, always looking out for me and never treating me like I was just a client.
"I dunno… My life just feels conflicted. I'm sick of running away from things and well, I just need to sort it all out so I can move on. I need closure."
"Okay, I get that… But are you certain you aren't still just running away?" His voice was firm, almost harsh. I looked carefully at him trying to work out why suddenly things felt intense.
"No… Sorta… Yeah." I huffed and let myself fall back into the chair. "Yes, fine… maybe I am. Peter, things are all fucked up." I let my head drop back over the back of the chair. "You know, when I finally left here I promised myself I'd figure out what I wanted and quit settling for whatever just came next. I was going to explore the world, find my place in it."
"So now you want to travel?" The bite in his voice brought my head up, he had his hand up indicating I should wait, "There's nothing wrong with that… But, are you traveling for enjoyment or to avoid your life?" I scowled at him and dropped my head back again. "Alice, you need to be truthful with yourself."
"Fine… Right now I truthfully want to settle everything here in Seattle, deal with Mike and then I'll think about the rest. Is that okay with you?" I heard the sarcasm in my voice as I snapped at him. I felt terrible about it, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. "Sorry Peter, it's just been a long day and I've already made my quota of difficult decisions for the day." I got up and walked to the door. "I'm going to the house first thing tomorrow morning. I know it's gonna take a few days to empty it, but first I need to see what's there." I paused to look at him. "I guess Mike should get his personal things too, if he's interested."
Peter regarded me across his desk. He hadn't made a move throughout my little rant. He didn't interrupt or interject any comment or opinion he'd just tilted his head to the side like he was trying to solve a puzzle looking at me until I stopped talking. He cleared his throat and then said, "I'll meet you there tomorrow at nine a.m. I'll contact Mike and let him know he can come at nine-thirty for a walk through with his lawyer and you two can decide who gets what. We'll tell him it's part of the settlement for his stupid claim… It may help to placate him."
"'Kay, fine… I'll see you tomorrow." I let myself out.
I walked down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. I couldn't stand still; I needed movement to help me process my thoughts. Peter had made me realize something about myself and I didn't like it; every time things got complicated or I had a difficult decision to make, I'd run away. I continued to walk a few blocks once I made it to the street. Welcome to sunny Seattle, I thought as the drizzle and chill made me shiver, I hadn't thought to bring a jacket with me. In California you wouldn't need a jacket… my inner voice snarked at me.
Once I'd made it back to my hotel and changed into my pajamas, I rummaged around in my suitcase and found a hoodie to pull on over my tank top; I found my cell phone in the pocket and I turned it on as I sat down on the bed. I hadn't had it on all day, I'd left everyone I knew behind me so I guess I really had no one to talk to.
It immediately started to chirp, indicating I had text a message coming in. I stared down at the screen to see the mailbox filling up… 4, 5, 6… I shook my head, what the heck? 11, 12, 13… It continued chirping. Suddenly it buzzed in my hand, making me almost drop it before I realized a call was coming in. I flipped it open to answer it.
"Why aren't you answering your damn phone?" Rose barked at me immediately.
"Nice to hear from you too," I replied, a little annoyed by her tone.
"We've been trying to reach you all day. You left before we had the chance to say anything." Bella was on the other line. "Ali, we just want to know that you're alright."
"I'm fine, stop worrying." I settled myself on the bed, my back against the headboard. I felt exhaustion settling in; it had been an incredibly long day. "Sorry, I just needed to go…" I figured Bella had at least known about my plans, why else would Edward have been waiting for me this morning.
"You still should have answered your damn phone."
"Rose, seriously… I never thought…"
"Yeah well, that was obvious! I mean, who are we anyway? Just your best friends… Never mind telling us anything… Really Alice, what the fuck?" I lowered the phone away from my ear, she was on a roll and quite frankly, I didn't want to hear it.
I heard Bella trying to hush her up on the other end, "No Bella seriously, Jasper said she didn't even wake him up before she left!" I brought the phone back up to my ear.
"You two leave Jasper alone… Don't pester him and don't talk him into doing anything foolish."
"Foolish like how?" Rose suddenly sounded suspiciously subdued. "Has Jasper called you?"
"No and I don't really expect him to," all my instincts put me on guard. "Promise me you'll leave him alone Rosalie. He doesn't need you pressuring him for answers."
"Why, what would he be able to tell us that you won't?" Rose was her usual relentless self; I wasn't going to get out of this without help.
"Bella…" I whined.
She instantly came to my rescue, "Rose that's enough… " I heard more whispering and rustling in the background. I rolled my eyes, imagining what was going on at their end.
"Look, I gotta go. I'm tired and need to be up early tomorrow, so… bye."
"Wait Alice! We're not finished –" Rose yelled.
"Yes. We are." I hung up as I pulled myself off the bed and started pacing, anger quickly becoming my prevalent emotion. How could she? After her 'BIG' talk to me in the car that day... I was doing what she told me to do… My cell phone started ringing almost immediately. I sighed as I looked at the screen. It was my home phone number, they were at my house.
"What?!" It was my turn to bark at her when I answered.
"Ali, it's Bella," she said gently, making me feel guilty for snapping at her.
"Sorry Bells… I didn't mean to yell at you." I sighed and sat down again.
"I know sweetie. Rosie doesn't mean to yell at you either, she's just worried. We're ALL worried." I kept silent while I gathered my thoughts forcing back the tears. "It's ok Ali, I know it's hard."
Her words not making my control over my emotions any easier, all I could do was nod even thought I knew it was stupid since she couldn't see me. It didn't matter though; Bella seemed to understand what I was doing. "You're sad huh?" I nodded harder. "It's ok baby, you want us to come there?"
"No!" I croaked out, sounding slightly panicked.
"OK, we won't. Just know we're here for you 'kay?" I resorted to nodding again. "All it takes is one quick call and we can be there."
I gathered my strength and answered her, "'Kay."
"Just a sec." I heard her put her hand against the receiver. Muffled voices indicated a conversation was taking place then silence for a second before Bella came back on the line. "Rosie wants to say something, she promises to be nice. Ok with you?"
I took a deep breath, "Yeah, ok… put her on." I braced myself for what she had to say.
"Hi." She sounded sullen.
"Hi."
Extended silence. I briefly wondered if she was waiting for me to say something, I felt stubborn suddenly and waited for her to make the first move.
"Are you doing this because of what I said in the car the other day?"
I was a little shocked by her question, "What? Am I doing what?"
"Leaving."
"No." I lied.
"Are you sure? 'Cause, it sort of seems like you are."
I gave in a little, "Truthfully, I don't really know. Look Rose… As much as I value your friendship and your advice and contrary to popular opinion, I think am capable of making decisions on my own." I felt the hostility rise up in me again. "I needed to get things sorted out here with the house, Peter needs me to deal with Mike and then… I don't know yet, but I need to take a look at my life and decide what I want to do next that's all."
"Yeah, but you didn't need to leave to do that. You didn't need to leave us or Jasper…"
Again I heard fumbling for the phone and voices in the background. I listened carefully trying to determine who was there and privy to this conversation. I knew Bella was, but I could tell there were more voices… I closed my eyes, praying it was only Edward and/or Emmett.
I sighed heavily, not really ready to talk about this with them yet. "Look, Jasper let me go. He understands, he -"
"He broke up with you?!" Rose raised her voice again.
"No. Rose. Just stop!" I could just imagine her going all 'scary Rose' at him. "It's not Jaspers fault, it's mine. Leave him alone please, he's been hurt enough already."
"He let you go… What kind of idiot is he?"
"He's not an idiot! He knows I needed to leave, to work things out. He understands… He knows I can't commit to any relationship. I'm a mess, my life is a mess."
"Alice, listen to me. I was wrong… I shouldn't have made it sound like you couldn't make a decision. I was being a bad friend. I -"
"Rose, really, you weren't. I just have to do this ok… you really have to let me be for a while."
I could hear her breathing, but if she had something to say she was really trying hard not to just blurt it out.
"Rosie none of this is your fault. I know what you said in the car the other day, you meant to help me and it did. I needed to hear it and it was all true. I haven't been fair to you guys or to me. I've depended on you to help me so much this past year and I really need to start doing things for myself. Please understand…"
"Ali…" She croaked out.
"Oh sweetie stop, it's ok… I'm fine, or I'll be fine. I promise, ok?" I couldn't stand knowing how much my failures were affecting my friends.
"Alice… you are one of the most important people in the whole world to me. Please don't leave…" That was it; I started to cry as I heard her choke on a sob.
Bella was shushing us both over the phone, trying to sooth us while I heard her quietly crying too. My phone chirped while I was trying to compose myself, I lowered it to read the incoming text. It was from Jasper, it simply read… 'It'll be ok, be strong'. My heart broke again and my tears fell faster. He was there and he was still being everything I needed.
"Oh God Rosie… Bella… I gotta go. I'm sorry…" I swiped at the tears rolling down my face and forced myself to stop crying. "I'm meeting with Mike and the lawyers tomorrow at the house. I'll be fine. You'll be fine. Just be happy and take care of each other for me. I'll call you or text you soon, I promise."
I stood up and started pacing the room again, this time to calm myself down.
"Okay Ali, call us if you need us." Bella said to me. "Rosie says bye too."
"I will, I love you both… And Bella?"
"Yeah sweetie?"
I swallowed hard, "Tell Jasper thank you for me… And…" I lowered my voice to a whisper, "Make sure he doesn't waste any more time on me."
"Why?" Bella whispered back to me.
"He deserves better."
"No Ali," she said calmly, "He loves you and will never find any better, you deserve each other."
I started sniffling again as I ended the call. As I was looking for a place to set my phone down it chirped again. I wasn't going to look, but I couldn't help myself and I glanced down.
'All true.'
I turned off the phone and put it in my purse, vowing not to turn it on again until I got a grip on my feelings as I made my way to the bathroom to wash my face.
~*~
The next morning I pulled into the driveway of the home I'd shared with Mike for over ten years. It looked the same, sprawling and stately… welcoming, but definitely ostentatious. I turned off my rental car and opened the door as Peter came over to greet me with a cup of Starbucks. I took it gratefully as I closed my eyes and relished my first sip leaning against the side of my car. It was a nice day, sunny with a cool breeze; I opened my eyes, looking around my old neighborhood.
"I thought we'd do our initial meeting out here before we go inside." Peter said as he smirked at my reaction to the coffee. "Better to let him tell us what he wants from the house before he get's inside and greed kicks in."
I shrugged. "I don't care what he wants; he can take it all if it'll make him go away."
"Yeah, well do me a favor? Just don't say that out loud around him ok… I don't need you making my job any harder than it has to be." He gave me a pointed look.
I made the sign like I was zipping my lips when we heard a car pulling up the driveway. We both turned to look.
"Crap!" I muttered causing Peter looked back at me.
"What's wrong?"
"Billy's with him." Peter shrugged and cocked an eyebrow in question. "He fired Bella," I said and Peter sucked in a breath.
"Yeah, well, you just behave yourself and keep your opinions in check. Mike's named Billy Black as his council and we gotta keep this as professional as possible. Understand?"
I stuck my tongue out at him, but I nodded anyway. I knew when to keep my mouth shut… Most of the time. "You know I know all that right?" Deep down I knew he was just trying to be a good lawyer, but seriously? At least he had the decency to smile and look apologetic before he pushed himself off the car to go shake hands.
I guzzled the rest of my coffee; I was going to need the caffeine boost to help bolster my spirit and calm nerves for this meeting. I continued to lean against my car, ignoring the discussion going on a few feet away while I let the sun warm my face. I wonder if this is behaved enough for him, I thought stubbornly as I let Peter's words bug me a little more.
"Alice!" Peter's voice startled me and I jumped. Maybe I should have been paying closer attention.
"Yes?" I looked over at them.
"Would you join us please?"
I strolled over to stand beside Peter.
"Hello Alice, nice to see you again." Billy held out his hand to me. I shook it firmly and smiled cordially.
"Hi Ali." Mike took my arm and stepped into me, as if he was going to kiss me or hug me or something. I reflexively took a step back, pulling away from his grasp. I nodded curtly to him.
Peter jumped in and suggested we discuss our objective for this meeting before we went into the house; he pulled out a set of papers for each of us. When he handed me mine I realized it was a place to list the contents I was interested in keeping. He also handed me a pen and then suggested we take a seat at the picnic table in the side yard.
As we followed Mike and Billy, Peter handed me another set of papers in a file folder, this one was a list itemizing the important house contents by room. I quickly looked it over. It was quite extensive and very thorough; making it obvious he'd had someone go through every room with a fine tooth comb, searching every nook and cranny to comprise this list. I resisted the urge to burst out laughing… I'd be surprised if Mike even knew what any of this stuff was. I tucked the folder into my bag before we got to the table.
All I can say is, thank God it was sunny! Or else sitting in the yard, listening to Michael Newton whine and complain about how shabbily he'd been treated in this whole fiasco of a divorce would have been a complete and utter waste of time. As it was I was just about ready to slit my wrists as once again Billy had to remind him to shut up and focus. We'd been here over two hours, getting absolutely no where in our 'splitting of the assets'. At least watching Mike turn pink as he sunburned kept me mildly amused.
"This is stupid!" Mike bitched to Billy. "I don't care about any of this stuff; I just want my share of the proceeds on the sale of the house and all our other assets!" He pounded his fist on the table and glared at me.
Peter and I sighed again in unison. This was the third time in the last half-hour he'd made this statement. Even Billy rolled his eyes as he growled, "Shut the hell up," through gritted teeth, he'd clearly had enough.
Peter had definitely had enough. He slammed his brief case on the table and flipped it open. He pulled out yet another folder and handed it to Billy. "Ms. Brandon was perfectly within her rights to sell off any and all of that property. It was hers, free and clear of any claims by you or anyone else for that matter. Here are copies of the invoices, ownerships and deeds to all properties in her name and solely in her name. You, Mr. Newton are not named anywhere in any of these documents."
Billy looked surprised and opened the folder. Mike looked pissed and ready to spit nails.
Peter continued. "I suggest you take a look at these files and rethink your lawsuit Mr. Newton. I'm sure I don't need to remind you how much judges hate it when their time is wasted on needless litigation." He closed his briefcase and stood up. "Come on Alice, I think we're done here. Mike isn't interested in anything in the house, he can arrange to have his personal effects picked up by the middle of the month and we'll see him in court if he decides to continue."
I stood up to join Peter, watching Mike and Billy as they scowled at one another. Something tells me Billy Black isn't impressed with his client-slash-star lawyer at the moment. Peter put his hand on my lower back and guided me away from the table. "Are you hungry? Wanna get some lunch?" He asked in a cheerful tone. I looked up to see him wink at me.
"Starving actually, let's go somewhere nice." I replied with a bright smile of my own as I linked my arm through his. I stopped suddenly, pulling Peter up short. He gave me a playful look as I lowered my voice to a stage whisper and said, "Do you think it's safe to leave them here, or should I call the police and report them for trespassing?"
Billy and Mike quickly stood up and Peter snorted as we continued to our cars.
~*~
I didn't go back to the house for a few days after that. I was definitely avoiding it and really just couldn't work up the energy. I also hadn't turned my cell phone back on.
All I'd really done is sleep and think. Neither of which made me feel any better at all. In fact, my constant back and forth inner dialogue and the up and down emotional roller coaster I'd been stuck on since I'd left Malibu had only ensured I had a constant headache. When I'd rolled over in bed this morning I'd made up my mind to end my self-imposed pity party, I needed to face things.
I spent the entire day with my lap-top and cell phone. I booked movers, storage space, charity pick-ups and appraisers. I had a load of packing boxes delivered to the house as well as made lists of the other supplies I would need to purchase on my way over to the house tomorrow.
I'd also inadvertently made plans for dinner tonight. I sighed as I logged off my computer for the day. Peter had caught me off-guard at the end of our conversation earlier today and asked me to dinner tonight. I'd tried to decline, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. I finally gave in, agreeing to meet him in the hotel dining room at eight tonight. It was just after six; I was showered, dressed casually but still nice enough for dinner and now my only dilemma was whether make-up was going to do me any good. I perused my reflection in the mirror, I looked terrible and it was a good thing I had time to put in some effort.
I was just finishing up when I heard my room phone ring; I reached to answer it without even thinking.
"Hello?" I said as I fluffed up my hair.
"Hi." My heart recognized his voice before my brain had time to register who it was.
I let myself fall onto the bed. "Hi" I managed to say, barely above a whisper.
"I wanted to call to see how you were… Friends do that and I figured we'd still be friends right?"
"Right." Again, I could barely hear myself reply.
"So, how are you darlin'?"
His words and his tone made me want to cry, he sounded concerned about me. Choking back my tears made it impossible for me to speak.
"Ali honey, are you there?"
I nodded.
I heard him chuckle lightly, "Are you nodding baby?"
I nodded faster.
"It's ok darlin', I understand… Is it ok if I talk?"
I nodded again, this time managing to make a slight squeaking sound of consent.
"I know Rosie sort of freaked you out the other day, on the phone and all. Bella said you were really upset and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I don't know if you wanted me to call you or anything… we never talked about whether we'd keep in touch or not. So… I dunno. I don't want you to be sad or worried about your friends. They're fine… Emmett and Edward will take good care of them, I promise. They're good guys and… well, you know."
He finally took a breath; it sort of sounded more like a sigh of relief… I bit my lip and smiled a little, in spite of feeling like I could burst into tears at any second.
"God Ali I miss you…" I listened as he took a ragged breath and my own eyes stung furiously. "I'm sorry… I didn't want to do that." He chuckled ruefully.
I inevitably lost my fight against my tears as I looked down at my lap, watching my jeans darken where my tears fell and soaked into the fabric.
We more or less completed our conversation in silence. It was funny how we could say so much without uttering a word to one another, even over a phone line. After a time, Peter knocked lightly on my door. I cleared my throat and whispered to Jasper that I had to go. He told me he loved me and we hung up.
I let Peter in, quickly excusing myself to touch up my make-up. When I arrived back in the room I found Peter standing exactly where I'd left him at the door, he took one look at me and muttered, 'Jasper?' I nodded as I picked up my purse and we headed down to the dining room.
We ordered drinks while we waited for our table, chatting about my plans for the house contents, agreeing to have the appraisers take whatever art they could to sell on consignment. He wanted to know what charities I'd decided to donate the furniture to, reminding me to get receipts for tax purposes. Once we got to the table he asked me about the phone call. Peter wanted to know what Jasper wanted and if I'd made any decision about what I was going to do after I'd finished with the house. I thought briefly how ironic it was that Peter was grilling me like this, wanting to know everything, yet Jasper hadn't pressured me once about my plans and he had more reason to wonder.
"That's a bit ironic don't you think?"
I looked up from my salad, startled that he had said exactly what I was thinking. "Sorry, what?"
"The situation you seem to have gotten yourself into." Peter paused and waved his fork around off-handedly, "Your young friend should be the one itching to strike out, to explore the world and gather experience. While you, on the other hand should be well settled into the life-style you're entitled to, pursuing a career or enjoying life at home with a family. Traveling if you choose to with a husband who loves you and can take care of you, again in a style in which you're accustomed to." He looked down as his plate, he seemed a bit flustered. Then he mumbled, "You know Alice… I can give you that."
I blinked in disbelief. My brain was struggling to register everything he'd just said and boy, he'd said a mouthful. Part of me was seething at him referring to Jasper like he was some play date while at the same time implying I needed someone to look after me. All the while another part of my brain was screaming, Wait a minute, say what? I had to concentrate to bring everything back into focus. I was getting slightly hysterical.
"Now THAT is ironic," I giggled manically.
Peter only tilted his head and gave me a look.
"Jeeze, a few months ago I couldn't even get my own husband to give a damn about me and now suddenly every guy I know wants me around. That's sadly ironic don't you think?"
"No, I don't think it's ironic at all. You shouldn't be alone and I think it's time you settled down with someone who can look after you." He said sternly.
Again I grumbled at his condescending tone. I continued trying to stab my salad with my fork as I thought over what he'd said. I was getting angrier by the second. Finally, I put my fork down as calmly as I could. "Peter… I'm sorry… I'm just not good company tonight, I'm gonna go back to my room. Thanks for the dinner.
Peter reached out to touch my hand as I started to leave the table. "Alice, please… hear me out."
"No Peter, please don't… I truly appreciate everything you've done for me but… I can't do this." I paused, my anger dissipating as I watched his face fall. I suddenly felt very guilty because I didn't feel for him like that. I softened my voice and my approach. "Really… Thank you. But, I'm going to spend the next few days at the house and then I'm moving on. I hope you understand."
"Yes of course, I'd just hoped that we could possibly…"
"No. I don't think so… I'm sorry."
"Alice, its fine. I understand."
I smiled at him, trying to make him see how sorry I was things were not working out the way he wanted them to.
"Peter, you're a wonderful man and a very good friend. We should just leave it at that."
"Okay." He squeezed my hand before he let me go.
"Good night Peter."
"Good night Alice."
I left the dining room, heading directly for the bank of elevators across the lobby. How much more complicated could my life get? I thought, as I let out a sigh of relief and leaned against the wall of the elevator. When I heard the ping signaling my floor I pushed myself off the wall and waited for the doors to part. As they did I saw the last person I ever expected to see waiting to get on. Charlie Swan.
"Charlie?"
"Ali-cat." He smiled his usual awkward smile at me as I threw myself into his arms. He hugged me, managing what I only imagined was the perfect dad hug; both comforting and protective at the same time. I couldn't help it; I started to snivel like I was eight years old again. "Hey, hey, hey," he said as he pulled me away to look at me. I was now staring into the eyes of an uncomfortable pseudo father as he brushed my tears away.
"How did you know I was here?" I asked as I pulled him towards my door and let us in.
"Bells called." He said, looking around. I pointed him towards the sofa.
"Can I get you a beer or anything?" It was strange playing hostess to Charlie; I'd been a guest in his house so often I sometimes felt like it was my home. He shook his head no.
"I was talking to her a few days ago and she mentioned you were in town." I sat down next to him and he patted my knee, "She's worried about you."
"I know."
"So what's going on Alice?"
I groaned, not knowing exactly where to begin. Really, I wasn't sure what Charlie did and didn't know. After a few start and stops I just started at the beginning and spilled it all for him.
"I always knew the Newton kid acted too innocent."
"I should have listened to you," I chuckled, remembering that Charlie never liked Mike much. He always thought he was up to no good.
"Yeah, you should have and what about this Jasper joker?"
"Bella told you about him?" He nodded with his eyebrow arched.
"He's not a joker Charlie; he really is a nice guy." I looked down.
Charlie put his hand under my chin and tilted my face up till my eyes met his, "If he's such a nice guy, why are you here? And why are you talking about leaving the country?"
Bella hadn't left out many details it seemed.
"Ali, I don't think you should be traipsing around on your own, a girl like you shouldn't be alone. I think it's high time you settled down with someone who will look after you."
"Okay! That's it!" I shot out of my seat, wondering what fucking year this was, had I gotten stuck in a 1950's time warp or something? "You know, I'm getting awfully sick and tired of people telling me what I need… You know Charlie, I've been taking care of myself almost all my life, including the entire time I was married."
He simply pursed his lips and stared at me. "Alice… sit the hell down." In shock, I did as I was told as he stood up. "Look," he spun and pointed at me, "All I ever wanted for my girls was for them to be happy. I may not always use the right words, but if you quit talking for a minute and just listened you'd understand my meaning. You're absolutely right; for the most part you did take care of yourself. Hell, all three of you girls were pretty much on your own. But just because we'd never make parents of the year, doesn't mean we didn't care. I cared every bit as much about you and Rose as I did about Bella."
I felt sufficiently chastised and more than a little bit ashamed for lashing out at Charlie like I had. I'd like to think I would have been able to control myself had I not just sat through the same demeaning speech from Peter. I muttered my apologies.
"You know I know you can take care of yourselves. Right?" He gave me the brow again, but softened it this time with a smirk, "I mean, even without Rose I know you can take care of yourself, after all… didn't I teach you to always carry pepper spray and how to use your keys to gouge an attackers eyes, hmmm?"
We both chuckled. Then he did something completely father like again, he put his arm around me and pulled me to his side, "Besides… I wasn't really meaning 'someone-to-look-after-you' quite like it sounded; I meant more like someone to look after your heart Ali-cat."
I nestled my head into his chest and cried while he patted my shoulder to console me.
~*~
I arrived at the house an hour before any of my contacts were scheduled to arrive. I was tired yet I felt lighter than I had in weeks. My discussion and subsequent crying jag with Charlie had been oddly cathartic for me and probably excruciatingly painful for him. He'd rubbed my arm, patted my head, muttered shushing noises and finally, in the end, urged me to 'pull it together'. He'd left, promising to come round the house before he left for home on Thursday afternoon.
I grabbed my supplies and went around to the side door as I'd done for ten years and let myself in. It was dim and stuffy. I dropped the bags on the kitchen counter and went throughout the house opening it up, throwing the windows open in every room and opening every door to let the air flow push out all the stale air and encourage the sunlight in.
When I came to stand in the front foyer I looked around. It felt like I was in a stranger's house and everything I imagined I'd feel I didn't. I saw furniture that wasn't my taste, art that didn't speak to my heart, a house that definitely wasn't a home. It should have been sad, but instead it lifted my heart even more. This might be easier than I thought.
I spent the next two days sorting, packing, moving and storing the remnants of my old life. It wasn't sad, it felt fucking fantastic. Day one had been all strategizing and meetings, but today had been completely productive. It was almost four o'clock and I was just about done for the day. The appraiser had given me a catalogue of my assets, crated them and had everything taken back to his warehouse. I had the movers pack up Mike's office, closet and dressers with his various belongings and had everything moved out to the garage. I'd even called Charlie to ask him if he was interested in any furniture before Goodwill came to make a pick up and he was due any minute to load up the U-Haul he'd rented to hitch to his truck to take it all back to Forks.
I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea when I heard the front door open and close softly. I called out, "Hello?" and just as I was about to pour my hot water Mike came to stand in the kitchen doorway.
"Hello Alice."
"Michael."
"Surprised to see me?"
"A little." Actually a lot, but I wasn't about to admit that to him. I cursed myself for being so naïve to think I'd seen the last of him. I worked hard to keep my voice calm. "Would you like some tea?" I moved down the counter to where I'd placed the instructions and panic button for the security system. I quickly picked up the remote for the silent alarm as well as the box of tea as a cover.
"No thanks, I'll take a beer though," and he moved to the refrigerator. I sipped my tea and he took a long pull from the bottle as we regarded each other quietly.
His eyes traveled over me, "Nice tan."
"Thanks."
"Been somewhere warm on my money?" He smirked and took another mouthful of beer.
I didn't answer him and he stepped closer, putting his beer on the island between us. "Answer me Alice." He demanded his voice slightly raised, "Have you been lying around some beach with your boy toy on my dime?"
My heart was pounding. Did he know where I was living? How did he find out? He didn't wait for me to answer but continued on with his rant.
"Boy, he must love that… Jet-setting all over the place, living the good life while he fucks you senseless. He must think he's died and gone to heaven."
I gave him a disgusted look and didn't bother to comment on what he'd said, I was basically just relieved that he was only fishing for information and he had no idea where I was living.
"Alice, I can't believe you sold everything out from under me like that." He stepped around the island.
"It's just stuff Mike; I'm sure you'll replace it and get over it."
"Still, for you it was a pretty gutsy thing to do. Did Rose put you up to it?"
"Actually no, it was all me." It wasn't a lie, Rose loved it, but I was the one who came up with the plan.
"Oh come on, you? Ali… you know you're not like that." His tone was patronizing.
"Michael, I don't think you have any idea what I'm like. You never did." I didn't take my eyes off him as I walked away from his approach. "I did what I did because I could, I was perfectly within my rights. After all, it was my money that paid for everything."
He scowled and I watched as he opened and closed his fists at his sides.
"Why don't you have a seat," I pointed towards the stools at the counter.
"I don't want to have a fucking seat Alice," he seethed at me. "I want what's mine."
"You can have what's yours." I snapped at him, "I had everything that belongs to you packed and put in the garage. Feel free to take it with you now or you can arrange to have it picked up tomorrow."
"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it." He was angry and started stalking towards me. I held up my hand with the security remote in it. He hesitated slightly, "What are you going to do Alice? Turn me in?"
"Not unless you leave me no other choice."
He sneered.
I figured I'd give it one last kick at the can, "Look Mike… It is what it is. It's time to cut your losses and move on. I'm not about to budge and if you're willing to take your chances in court go ahead. I'm certain of the outcome, especially in light of your behavior."
"You can't prove anything."
"Don't bet on it." I said with confidence and finally he looked uncertain. I took my opening.
"We're divorced. It's legal and it's done. I owe you nothing. But what's it gonna take to make you go away, for good?"
"Half!"
"Half of what? Everything?" I tried not to be too incredulous. "Not going to happen."
"I want my car back."
"Your car and you'll go away?" He looked thoughtful and I immediately knew it wasn't going that easy.
"And half the house proceeds."
"I'll give you half the final house proceeds and you can buy your own car. That's my final offer." He'd be a fool to pass that up, it would net him more than a million dollars, but I had yet to name my final condition. "Of course, you'll have to sign off on a contract stating that we're over and you have no further claim to anything or on me. But I'm sure you won't mind." I smiled my very best board room smile. Negotiations were closed and he knew it.
"Fine," he pouted.
I reached for my cell phone and hit speed dial for Peter's home number, never taking my eyes off Mike.
"Hi Peter, this is Alice Brandon." Mike snorted when I said my maiden name. "I'm here at the house with Mike and we've come to an agreement. He is to get half the final proceeds on the Seattle house in exchange for a signed agreement to release me from any further claims or contact by him. Yes… I believe he will want to sign those papers immediately." I knew Peter already had them drawn up and he was providing me with a way to get Mike out of the house and away from me now. "In fact, if they aren't signed and notarized by him and his Lawyer by midnight tonight the offer is withdrawn."
I looked up to see Charlie and two of the movers enter the house. I gave him a smile of relief, letting him know his timing couldn't be better. He and Mike scowled at one another as I listened to Peter's instructions.
"OK, just a sec." I tilted the phone away from my mouth as I spoke to Mike. "He can meet you at his office in two hours." Mike nodded tersely, looking away from Charlie's glare. "Fine, you'd better leave now."
He stormed to the front door, practically ripping it from its hinges. I didn't even have time to say goodbye before he slammed the door. I walked quickly to the window to watch him leave. I brought the phone back to my lips.
"Peter?"
"Yes, I'm still here. Is he gone?"
I'd heard his tires squeal on the road as he peeled away from the house. "Yep, he's gone."
"Good, get out of the house as soon as you can and I wouldn't go back there if I were you."
"It's ok, Charlie's here with me now and I'm finished here. Will you take care of the rest for me please?"
"Sure Ali. Where are you going now?"
"Actually… I'm going back to my hotel and checking out. I'll be on the next plane home tonight."
"Well have a good trip and take care Alice. Make sure you let me know where you ultimately end up."
Charlie was beaming at me as I ended the call. As I turned from the window I noticed his truck parked in the driveway with the trailer behind it. The two mover guys were opening it up and securing a ramp.
Be sure to take anything you want Charlie, and lock-up when you leave if you don't mind."
"Will do… Give my love to Bella and Rosie; tell them I expect a visit soon." He kissed me on the forehead and I hugged him goodbye.
I wasn't entirely sure what my final plans were, but for now, I was going back home, to California. I smiled as I speed dialed the airlines to book my flight.
~*~
I sat at the small table in the dimly lit club. I was back from the stage and I was fairly certain he couldn't see me from where he was, standing centre stage, fully bathed in red, yellow and blue lights. I was watching him singing energetically, gesturing to the audience with a wide smile on his face and his eyes sparkling. He looked very happy and at that moment, very young.
His guitar hung down his back as he sang into the mike. He was soaked with sweat and his loose blonde curls were plastered to his face. He also looked sinfully sexy. The tight black shirt and low rise jeans were definitely making my pulse throb. No wonder the throng of twenty something girls at the stage were all jumping and screaming. Of course, the periodic glimpse of his bare skin at his hips where his shirt rode up did nothing to subdue the hormones... Mine or theirs.
I was pretty sure the stage lights would have made it impossible for him to see me, but his eyes seemed to be on me. I looked away to take a sip of my drink. It was almost eleven p.m. on Friday night; I'd been back in town less than twenty-four hours and had been busy from the minute my plane touched down. I'd finally severed every last tie I had on my old life and, thanks to some expert planning and good ole female ingenuity, I was well on the way to figuring out the next chapter of my new life.
A shot of tequila was only the beginning of what I needed to calm my nerves right now and unfortunately, watching the beautiful young girls shoving their practically bare bodies at my equally beautiful boyfriend – make that ex-boyfriend – wasn't doing much for my mood or my ego.
I looked back to the stage and our eyes met again. Did he know I was watching him? The song was ending so I downed my drink and went for the door.
The warm night air revived me as I walked through the parking lot.
"Alice wait!" I heard his call and then listened to the sound of his steps as he ran to catch up to me.
"Are you stalking me?" I whirled around to him.
"No," he shook his head laughing at me, "You're the one hiding in dark corners watching me."
I smiled and looked down, kicking at the pavement.
"Welcome back," I raised my head and saw him beaming at me. "Why did you leave?"
Confusion must have shown on my face.
"Didn't you enjoy the show?" Oh… the show, I thought. I nodded.
"I'm really glad you're back," he leaned in whispering to me, his breath was warm against my ear.
I bit my bottom lip, now wasn't the time to talk about it. My body flushed and I broke out in goose flesh. I could tell by his eyes, he knew what he was doing to me.
"Could you feel my eyes on you?" he continued using his sexy voice.
I took a shuttering breath and whispered, "Yes."
He moved so fast, wrapping me in his arms. I all but melted. I looked up and he was looking down, kissing the tip of my nose.
"Come back inside and wait for me."
I shook my head.
He pulled his head back and studied me, "Why not?"
"Never mind… you go. You have to get back to your adoring fans." He laughed heartily. I smirked and tried to push him away.
"Alice, you're not jealous are you?
"No" I rolled my eyes, but damn it, I blushed.
He was still looking at me, waiting for an answer.
"I can't compete with all those young girls, screaming your name and grabbing at your clothes."
He bent his head to my ear, kissing the indent just behind it. I shivered as he continued kissing down my neck, my resolve slipping. His lips were back to my ear. "You're the only one I want to hear scream my name," he sucked my earlobe between his teeth.
That was it, I was a total puddle and he knew it, I felt him smile against my skin.
"Come on," he stepped back pulling me towards the door. "We only have to finish this set."
I dug in my heels. I didn't really want to go back inside, I shook my head again.
"Okay but wait for me, please don't leave ok?" He looked around. "There," he pointed, "wait over there in the coffee shop. I'll meet you as soon as I'm done." He pouted and gave me pleading puppy eyes. Still walking backwards pulling me with him.
I smirked and nodded reluctantly.
His smile lit up his face and he met my body once more with his. He cupped my face in his hands, "Thank you" and he kissed me on the lips softly at first and just as I thought he was going to pull away I felt his tongue part my lips and his hand go to the back of my head pulling me harder into his kiss. He moaned as he drew back. "I'll make it a short set, I promise," he gave me his crooked smile and turned to jog back to the club, turning back just before he stepped inside, he winked at me.
I smiled and waved. I was left standing alone on the sidewalk feeling like a quivering mass of Jell-O.
~*~
JPOV
She didn't wait.
When I walked into the coffee shop I didn't see her so I grabbed a table and sat, thinking she was maybe in the ladies room or something. But after I'd waited almost twenty minutes and she never showed I hailed a cab and gave the driver her address.
She'd only been gone a week, but every single day had been agonizing, passing slowly and felt like forever. We'd only spoken the once and I was unsure what had brought her back to me, I didn't really care, but I was anxious to find out what exactly was going on. I once again berated myself for not bailing on the rest of the set and leaving with her as I sat back in the taxi and reveled in the fact she was finally home.
She must just have been tired… if she just got home she had undoubtedly had a long day. I couldn't wait to hold her; I wanted to touch her, to prove to myself it was real and she was here. She had come to me at the club so I was sure she wouldn't mind if I showed up at her place even if I woke her up.
I wasn't paying attention to where we were until the driver spoke. "Sorry sir?"
"I said is this the place, where the 'for sale' sign is?"
I looked up, confused. This was definitely the neighborhood; he must just have the wrong house.
"No, I don't think so." I said as I looked out the window and down the driveway. It was the right house, it was completely dark and there was a real estate sign out front. I stared at it silently.
"Well buddy, is this the place or not?"
I cleared my throat, it felt tight. "You know what…" I paused and took a deep breath, "I've changed my mind." I gave him my home address instead.
~*~
A/N: O.o – Don't hate me… Please review.
Oh yeah! Voting for the 'Back2Skool UNFmett' Contest is now open. In case you didn't know, I have an entry ~ Sweet Revenge ~ It's a one-shot continuation of where Working Lunch left off. You can find the link in my profile.
Voting will close at midnight (Pacific) on Nov 8th and winners will be announced on Nov 10th.
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http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2071960/Back2Skool_UNFmett_Contest
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