Ch.12
Seasons Change
Hurts me to see you feel this way but it won't be always
Don't you know that, that patience is a virtue
And life is a waiting game, don't you know that?
Peace must be nurtured and all the money in the world can't buy you nothing
Don't you know everything's got to change
Feel like all your hope is gone, you can't carry on, but there's nothing wrong
You don't have to pretend with me
All these things happen, all these things happen for a reason
So don't you go and throw it all away
You'll get yours when the seasons change
XXXXXXXXX
Julia Schweider had been sedated ever since surgery to prevent convulsions and to minimize her mobility to keep the intravenous lines on her body. The concerned convulsions, internal bleeding, and clotting trouble had not presented themselves; however, excessive fluid had built up in her brain. So three days after her successful separation surgery, Julia was under anesthesia in OR 1 once again to have a shunt installed in her brain to drain the fluid and to have her skull-reconstruction to be finished.
Derek looked up when Addison entered the OR again after being called away for an emergency C-section.
"How is it going?" She asked as she stepped on a box behind him to get a better look.
"Everything is good. I'm almost done." He replied.
She watched him work for a moment before taking a seat in front of the baby's vital monitor to his right.
He glanced up at her. "How are you?"
"Okay, I guess…."
"You look tired." He said with concern.
She sighed. "I barely slept the last three days."
"You're putting work ahead of everything else."
"Look who's talking." She rolled her eyes.
"I've hardly seen you these last three days! You only came home to shower and change."
"She's in a very critical condition! Anything could go wrong at anytime and I have to keep an eye on her." Addison started to get irritated.
"Hollis and Allister can do it, too…."
"But I am the best and I'm not risking not being here if something happens." She ignored the unhappy tone in his voice. "You've been really annoying lately…"
He threw her a dirty look. "I'm not…."
Before he could finish his sentence, Mark entered the OR and nodded to acknowledge the Shepherds. He stood at the end of the operating table to wait for his turn.
Addison looked to Derek and Mark. Derek looked to Mark and Addison. Mark looked to Addison and Derek. Three sighs were heard in the room. Derek went back to install the shunt. Addison focused on the monitor. Mark looked around the room absentmindedly. The few nurses and anesthesiologist shifted in the uncomfortable silence.
"I'm done." Derek announced and signaled for Mark to take over. He glanced one last time at Addison before exiting the room.
"How is she?" Mark asked her as he began.
"She's stable." She replied.
He continued to operate and occasionally stole quick looks at her.
"What?" Addison finally asked.
"Nothing."
"Just say it already."
Mark peered at the surrounding staff members in the room.
"They know everything there is already, might as well just say it, Mark." She sighed.
"I'm leaving in a few days…." When she didn't reply, he continued. "It's not too late to come back to New York with me…."
She shook her head. "Mark…."
"I'm serious, Addison. Are you sure staying in Seattle is what you want?" He paused for a second. "Are you sure you'll be happy here?"
Addison fidgeted slightly in her chair. "I don't know if I'll be happy again…." She looked up to him. "But I know that for now, I want to stay here."
"Alright then." Mark nodded. "We've missed you in New York." He referred to their friends.
"You guys don't miss Derek?" She teased.
"You're our favorite Shepherd." He winked.
"I wonder if Derek's big ego will shrink a little if I told him that…." Addison mused.
He glanced up to the gallery and saw Derek watching them.
"You can turn on the speaker and give it a try right now." He tilted his head a little towards the gallery.
"He's watching, huh? Does he look like he wants to strangle both of us?" She didn't want to turn around to make it obvious that they were talking about him.
"I can't read him…but he certainly doesn't look grumpy."
"For once in a week!" She sighed sarcastically. "Thank the Lord Almighty…."
Mark chuckled. "Only you can and will put up with his sorry ass…."
"Thanks Mark, that's very encouraging of you…." She rolled her eyes.
"Hey, it's not my fault you chose that one…. You could've picked my fine ass, you know…." He winked.
"Correction, your arrogant ass…." She mocked.
"You really do know how to hurt a guy's ego."
"Yeah well, I'm doing what I can to save the world from yours and Derek's humongous egos."
XXXXXXX
"Izzie?" The head of the clinic called her.
"Hi, Dr. Kendrick." She smiled at the older woman.
"May I talk to you for a moment in my office?"
"Sure." Izzie put down the chart on the counter and the two of them walked into an office.
"You've been volunteering here for a few days. What do you think of it so far?" Anna Kendrick asked when they sat down in the room.
"I've very much enjoyed it so far. It's very different than being a surgical intern, but I really like it."
"From my observation, you are very good, not only with your medical skill, but with these women and children as well. They need someone to talk to and who will listen to them, and I see that you interact very well with them."
Izzie wondered where this was going. "I'm glad that I could be a help."
"What would you say about working here at the clinic, not as a volunteer anymore, but as Dr. Stevens?"
"Seriously?" Izzie's eyes widened in disbelief. "You're offering me a job here?"
"Yes, I am. As you can see, we are short-staffed. At this clinic we need more than just a doctor, we need someone with empathy, like you. So what do you say?"
"Dr. Kendrick, I am grateful for the offer, but I'm afraid I can't give you a yes or no answer right away. I need time to think this over, if that's okay with you."
"Of course." The older woman smiled. "Let me know when you decide."
Izzie returned the smile. "Thank you."
XXXXXXX
Derek sat quietly in the gallery, thinking about the recent events now that he had the chance to unwind from the stress and the pressure, which, he noticed, had shifted to Addison. He watched as Mark laughed at something Addison had said.
He smiled when Preston Burke sat on the chair to his right. The two colleagues chatted casually about the separation surgery and Preston's therapy session until the Chief entered the gallery and sat on the empty seat to Derek's left.
"Hey, Chief." Both of them greeted their superior.
"Hey, Derek. Preston, how are you?"
"I am good, can't wait to be back when all is well."
"We can't wait to have you back here." The Chief smiled. "How's it going down there?"
"So far so good, I think she's going to come out just fine." Derek sighed. "It's just going to take a while to recover."
"How is Addison?" Preston asked.
"She's worn out, but she's Addison, she won't admit it." Derek smiled a little.
Preston chuckled. "How are things going…with him there?"
"Oh God, you don't want to know…." Richard scoffed.
"That bad?" Preston cocked one eyebrow at Derek.
"Did you not get the scoop from Yang?" Derek tried to lighten up.
"Some…. But it's more fun to hear it straight from the source."
"It's…" Derek found it hard to find the right word. "It's a rollercoaster ride."
"But all is fine right, after you know…locker room…." Richard rolled his eyes.
"I heard bout that one…." Preston nudged Derek's elbow.
"I would be surprised if anyone didn't hear that…." Richard teased.
"Fine, fine, laugh it up…." Derek paused for a moment. "I don't know what we are…"
"I thought you said you want to work on this, Derek." Preston faced him.
"I do, but it's…we're such a mess…. I don't even know how or where to begin to sort it out." Derek focused his eyes on Addison, who was talking with the anesthesiologist.
"You cheated on me."
"You ignored me because of your work. I became nothing to you."
"You didn't become 'nothing' to me."
"But I wasn't everything to you…anymore."
"It's probably just the stress of this case taking its toll on both of you, Derek. You two seemed to be doing fine before this week." Richard replied.
"We were…."
Derek leaned to kiss her softly. He pulled back to look into her eyes, it was the first time he kissed her since prom. She smiled and he kissed her again and she kissed him back.
"Hey…."
"Hmm?"
"I missed a spot." He kissed the tip of her nose.
She grinned. "I'll see you later." She gave him a quick kiss before exiting the room.
"What happened then?" Preston questioned.
"He happened." Derek slightly pointed to Mark's direction.
"You stayed with him."
"You left me."
"You didn't tell me."
"You never wanted to talk."
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Were you ever going to listen to me?"
"Oh come on, Derek." Richard started. "Meredith happened and Addison didn't go around looking like she wanted to drag you to the guillotine. She had one outburst, and that was six months after she took in all the hard time you gave her."
Derek sighed. "I know, I know…."
"You weren't there when I needed you…I made a mistake and I apologized! And unlike you, I didn't go around rubbing it in front of you like you did your intern in front of me and this whole hospital!"
"I've known you since your happiest days. You still love her, don't you?" Richard asked.
"I don't think I've ever stopped loving her, but with this mess we're in, it is making it harder." He turned to Richard. "I want to love her, I really do."
"..., because even after all the things that have happened, my stupid heart still loves you! He's not you, Derek, he can't replace you."
Preston shrugged. "Then keep trying."
"I am trying, Addison!" He clenched his jaw.
"Try harder, Derek." She pleaded.
Derek closed his eyes and her voice echoed in his mind. 'Good air in, bad air out. Try harder.'
XXXXXXXX
Mark walked out of scrub room feeling a huge amount of satisfaction that he had completed Julia's skull reconstruction and the baby was still alive. His power walk to the elevator was interrupted as he felt someone had fallen into steps beside him.
"So…. You're the Nazi." He stated.
"So…. You're the snooty plastic surgeon former best friend turned dirty mistress." Miranda replied.
"Your interns have a shorter term for me." He tried to hide the amusement off his face. "McSteamy, I believe."
"I have a shorter term for you, too. McShady." She tried to keep a straight face when she saw his face slightly frowned.
"McShady, huh…." He pushed the button and waited for the elevator with Miranda.
"You got that right." The both entered the empty elevator and pushed the floor numbers.
"They are trying to salvage their marriage and are putting that on hold to save this baby and let you be a part of this amazing case, but you walked in here with that big ungrateful head of yours thinking you can use every little opportunity to drive that lousy husband crazy enough so you can win back the wife. If that's not shady and sleazy and sordid then I don't know what is…."
Mark was stunned. "I care about her a lot! I can't just do nothing after what he's done to her!"
Miranda put one hand on her hip. "Excuse me, does she ask you to come here to give her husband a piece of your mind!"
"I'm just looking out after her!"
"She's an adult capable of looking after herself!"
"No, she's not. You should've seen her after he left New York…." He crossed his arms.
"Excuses, excuses, excuses!" Miranda waived her hands at him.
"It's not an excuse!"
"She doesn't want you, get with the program!"
Mark let out a deep sigh and knew he wasn't going to win an argument with the Nazi. "Yeah, I know…."
"Then what the hell are you doing!"
"Do you realize how easy it is to drive the McLousy husband nuts!"
Miranda slapped the back of his head.
"Ow, what was that for!" Mark protested.
"Though I'll admit that I'm a little bit pleased that you gave McMoron some of the ass kicking he deserves, that doesn't mean you can work him out for the heck of it! Let those two crazy kids deal with it themselves, you stay out of it!"
When Mark didn't make any reply, Bailey lifted her hand again.
"Alright, alright, I'll stay out of it…." Mark sulked.
"Good."
"I really care about her, though." He looked down at the floor. "I'm just making sure this is what will make her happy."
"She'll be happy if you're not here meddling with her marriage." Miranda shot him a pointed look as if she was expecting for him to say something back.
Mark glanced at her. "You're right…." He begrudgingly admitted.
"I'm always right." Miranda walked out of the elevator but right before the door closed, she slipped a hand between it.
"And you stay away from my interns!" She glared.
"Yes, Mam."
XXXXXXXX
Julia had been stable and sedated after the surgery, but she continued to be in a very critical condition. Addison was not going to risk being too late to the rescue if something were to happen, hence, another night in the on-call room after another long day. As her head hit the pillow, the image of that crucial moment in OR 1 three days ago came to her mind.
"Try harder, Derek." She pleaded.
Derek closed his eyes briefly.
"Hand me the surgicel!" He requested when he opened his eyes.
The rest of the surgeons looked at each other with a slight uncertainty.
"Hand me the surgicel!" He looked at her and she gave him what he asked for.
Derek proceeded to improvise with the surgicel, a dissolvable surgical gauze, and reinforced the thin wall of the Venus Sinus with it.
"It stopped…." She uttered, releasing the breath she had been holding.
A series of relieved sighs were heard in the OR and in the gallery when the bleeding stopped. Julia's heart rate and blood pressure slowly but surely climbed back up, and an hour later, she was out of OR 1 alive with on head just like any other normal baby.
Addison curled up on the bottom bunk wishing Derek was with her, she'd missed him this past week. She thought about what the next day would hold for her. It would be their first day off since The Schweiders' arrival, and ten in the morning would be the appointment to see the house on Atlas Dr. Addison wondered as she fell asleep, if she would be picking a house for her and her husband, or just for her.
XXXXXXX
The song is by Corinne Bailey Rae.
So…Mark is getting the picture, methinks. I love Bailey, that is all.
