Inu: Well, after editing this...it's a crackfic more than a romance really. And I was in my bleh mood so Tyler and Zak have a lot of their old personalities, but that's okay, they're still the same practically. I find this one really funny and cute so, here you go!
~START~
The time, four-thirty in the morning. No one is up at this time, except Konata apparently. Well, usually she wouldn't be awake either, and currently she was regretting staying at the Institute for the night. What's wrong with staying? Well, for one, her boyfriend came to her room and was smaller than her damn demons. "How the hell did this happen, Zak?" Konata asked.
"I don't know." Zakari shrugged. "But, I learned climbing was hard as fuck when you're small."
"Well, since you're like that I can't really let you go to class..." Konata sighed. "And the other's would think it's insanely weird, so I guess you're stuck with me until we can somehow get you back."
"I don't mind~!" Zakari smirked.
"Shut it, Tiny." Konata rolled her eyes. "Flirting doesn't work well when you're that small."
"Ugh, fine, fine!" Zakari muttered. "This is boring and everything is way too big...and I'm tired."
"So why didn't you wait until later?" Konata asked.
"Because. If I waited till later, Tyler might see me." Zakari explained. "I don't want him seeing me when I'm this small."
"I guess that's a good enough reason." Konata sighed. "Though now I somewhat wish I would've just gone back home yesterday."
"Why? You don't like spending time with literally little me?" Zakari pouted.
"No, you know I love spending time with you, Zak. But now, I also have to make sure no one finds out. Especially Draco." Konata stated.
"Oh yeah...I forgot about the Runt..." Zakari chuckled.
"Can't really say that anymore, look at yourself." Konata smirked.
"Okay, now being small sucks. Except the fact I get to be with you. I mean, this room is so much bigger." Zakari mumbled.
"The room is also big when your short, but you're normally tall." Konata rolled her eyes. "Whatever, anyways, if you're tired just go back to sleep."
"But I don't wanna!" Zakari exaggerated. "Sleep with me!"
"Zak, you have to be kidding me." Konata sighed.
"I'm not! I am not going to sleep unless you sleep with me." Zakari pouted, crossing his arms and sitting on the bed...which was insanely adorable.
"Be serious Zak. No." Konata stated.
"This is the most serious I've ever been in my life." Zakari informed.
"Just. Go. To. Sleep." Konata growled.
"Oh, will do Jeff the Killer." Zakari rolled his eyes. "You know I'm not going going to."
"My god Zak, you're too persistent about this." Konata muttered.
"Because I want you to sleep with me." Zakari smirked. "And not in 'that' way."
"I know that fucktard! You're fucking tiny as hell!" Konata shouted. "I wouldn't even sleep with you in 'that' way if you were normal sized!"
"Now, now Kona~! The rest of the institute is still asleep." Zakari taunted. "And you totally would." Konata wasn't even going to go on with that argument, that can be saved for another time, presumably the second he turns back to normal.
"Ugh...fine..." Konata gave in, Zakari smiled.
"Awesome!" Zakari beamed.
"I seriously hate you." Konata muttered.
"I'm sure~!" Zakari laughed. "Come on! Hurry up, I'm tired!"
"You don't seem tired." Konata rolled her eyes.
"Well, I am! It's not like it's weird to sleep with your significant other!" Zakari informed. "Yes, I am using smart words...er...vocabulary."
"Whatever, you know I'm never going to sleep with you when you're back to normal." Konata smirked.
"Then I'll make you again! Trust me, I know you can't resist." Zakari stated, Konata flicked him. "Ow! That hurt!"
"I'm sure. Just get some sleep, you obviously not tired, Midget." Konata sighed.
"Okay, okay! I shall sleep." Zakari smiled.
~LATER~
"Zak, either get up or I'm going to leave you here for like eight hours." Konata growled.
"But your bed is so comfy~!" Zakari mumbled. "Even comfier when your with me~!"
"We are never talking about that ever again." Konata stated. "So then, I leave you?"
"Wh-What!? No, I'm up!" Zakari exclaimed, nearly falling off the bed. "This is unsafe."
"Then stay." Konata sighed.
"No, I don't wanna!" Zakari pouted then jumped to Konata's shoulder. "I'll just stay really close to you~!"
"Ugh...I hate you right now Zak." Konata muttered. "Let's just go."
~LATER~
"Hey Konata!" Kou exclaimed.
"Hi fucker, what's up?" Konata greeted.
"Woah, what pissed you off?" Draco asked.
"Just...things. It's not important that much." Konata informed.
"But I'm like...one of the most important people in your life!" Zakari whispered, he didn't like staying quiet but...if they saw him, hell would surely arise.
"Well, at least your not fully pissed off! That shit is fucking scary!" Draco smiled.
"And who would be the most common cause of that?" Konata smirked.
"Uh...that rock?" Draco faked ignorance. "Okay, yeah...I'm a bastard."
"It's fine, Drac." Konata reassured. "I have worse problems than you annoying me."
"That's good for me and not for you!" Draco exclaimed.
"Hey, Kona, let's get sandwiches for breakfast!" Kou suggested. "Because every Deli serves cookies."
"Oh, wow Kou. That's so different from your everyday appetite." Konata rolled her eyes.
"I know right?" Kou laughed. "You guys ready for the test?"
"Somewhat." Draco shrugged. "I always pass though, favoritism from teachers and all."
"I actually study, unlike both of you." Konata sighed. "At least, I have El help me a lot, him being a genius and all. I knew most of it myself though."
"No fair, you work over there so you have plenty of time to spend with him and learning the crap!" Kou pointed out.
"She better not spend more time with him than with me, or I'm going to have a problem with him." Zakari growled.
~LATER-LATER~
"Konata! Have you seen Zak?" Tyler asked.
"No, why?" Konata replied, Zak being amazed at how well she lied...she didn't even stutter or hesitate!
"Because, he's been gone all fucking day! Where the hell does a guy like him disappear to? And yes, I have checked the pocky place already." Tyler explained.
"It's quite strange. He's not one to just leave." Elliot commented.
"Just chill, guys! Like I said, maybe he had to go do something important somewhere. It's not like he's dead!" Phoenix sighed.
"Wow, Pho actually has some sanity today." Konata joked.
"I always have sanity. I just...never use it." Phoenix stated.
"Yeah, okay." Konata laughed. "Anyways guys, I don't know. The best we got would be with Pho. Or he's just somewhere else for the day."
"Ooh, that gives me an idea of where he is!" Tyler smirked.
"No Tyler, he isn't cheating on Konata." Elliot sighed. "You really believe he'd actually try that? Or even succeed at that?"
"Okay, yeah...good point. And the Obsessor would probably murder him." Tyler shrugged. Of course, 'the Obsessor' was now Kou's new title, him being weirdly obsessed with other people's relationships. "Plus, I'd be pretty surprised if he tried cheating...before he was dating Konata, he was practically as obsessed with her and Kou is with their relationship! Okay, maybe even more."
Zakari wanted to hurt him, but he kind of couldn't. "Not like he's that kind of person either." Konata rolled her eyes. "His life is like a complete opposite to his school life, he doesn't cheat or skip."
"So then he fails at life by trying!" Tyler exclaimed. Urge to murder rising.
"If he fails at life, let's see you get a hostile, romance hating, immortal girlfriend that's been hated by practically everyone and has the police are still after her even though it's been like ten years." Phoenix smirked.
"...well, he doesn't fail at shit does he!?" Tyler growled. "And why are you being supportive today!?"
"I'm in the mood for it, plus when Konata snaps, I'll be the only one who doesn't get killed." Phoenix laughed.
"Oh, please Pho. You'd be the first." Konata rolled her eyes. "And Tyler would be second."
"First is the worst, second is the best." Tyler chimed.
"Don't you dare finish that stupid elementary school joke." Konata stated. Tyler was confused until he thought for a moment.
"Hey, then it's true~!" Tyler smiled devilishly.
"Shut the hell up." Konata muttered.
"Well, actually...isn't your room soundproof?" Phoenix asked.
"On it's own, no. But I can make it soundproof...there's a switch." Konata shrugged. "It's in everyone's room. You just gotta find it. Mine is just right out in the open..."
"Isn't that just handy?" Tyler smirked.
"I wouldn't keep doing that, Tyler. I heard from Kou she was already pissed off this morning." Elliot suggested.
"Haha, fine! I'll stop, but it's only fun because Zak isn't around, he can get sooo protective!" Tyler smiled.
"Anyone else think he's drunk?" Elliot asked.
"When isn't he drunk?" Phoenix replied.
"I can't even bother with you guys, I'm gonna go do some work." Konata sighed.
"Okay, bye Konata!" The three waved.
~LATER~
"Can I kill him?" Zakari asked, obviously hating Tyler right now.
"He's your roommate, you have to deal with him anyways." Konata rolled her eyes. "Just get over it, that's normal Tyler. He messes with everyone."
"I know but still..." Zakari trailed off. "I don't like being his roommate sometimes."
"You just have to deal with it. Once this semester is over, the people that stay during summer, which is the majority, can freely choose their roommates, even alternate between some during the three months." Konata smiled.
"Hm...sounds like a weird thing to do. Hard to keep track of people..." Zakari stated.
"It is, but not like you have to worry about it." Konata shrugged.
"Well, with this new weird information...I'm staying here in the summer~!" Zakari smirked.
"What did I tell you earlier Zak?" Konata sighed.
"I know, I know. But it's not like I will ever listen!" Zakari laughed. "Oh, and that sound proof switch..."
"Don't even." Konata growled. "Why are you as sick minded as Tyler?"
"Cuz...I'm his roommate?" Zakari answered. "But it'll be fine! I won't be his roommate during the summer~!"
"Shut up before I don't help you anymore, fucktard." Konata sighed.
"Okay, okay! I'll stay quiet!" Zakari exclaimed. "I'm just hyperactive right now."
"When are you not?" Konata asked.
"Okay, true. But I'm more hyperactive than usual." Zakari shrugged. "What are you doing anyways?"
"Trying to figure out how to get you back is that a problem Zak?" Konata stated.
"No, just wondering. Those words are complicated." Zakari smiled.
"I hardly understand it myself. I could potentially ask Kai since he's pretty smart, but if it comes down to it we'll have to ask Aero." Konata muttered.
"But I don't want Aero to see me like this! He's practically worse than that Ru-Draco!" Zakari groaned.
"Wow, I'm surprised you actually know his name." Konata teased. "Anyways, I don't know what else we could do if you don't even understand one page of it, and I can't do much, plus Kai is just a demon. Though, I wouldn't doubt him so much."
"Okay! Let's ask Kai!" Zakari exclaimed.
~LATER~
"It's fairly simple, but it might take quite a long time..." Chimera stated. "It's been a while since I've done this kind of stuff."
"This is practically black magic! What kind of cat are you!?" Zakari asked.
"Some say I'm an illusionary cat. But that's obviously not true, since I don't specialize mainly in illusions." Chimera chuckled. "Besides that, it should take me two hours at the most."
"Two hours!? That's not a long time!" Zakari shouted.
"Though it seems. Mostly, I spend five to ten minutes on this stuff." Chimera shrugged. "I'll start immediately."
"Thank you, Kai. You know what you're doing." Konata smiled.
"No problem Mistress. I always have to listen to my master, it's a part of the Neko Akuma customs." Chimera nodded, then leaving off to make whatever he needed.
"And now we wait like two years...that is a long time! I'm already bored!" Zakari stated.
"Zak, it's been five seconds." Konata sighed. "And it's not anywhere near two years.
"I know! But I'm still bored!" Zakari pouted.
"Ugh...whatever." Konata rolled her eyes. "Just do something, I don't care."
"So I can—"
"No."
"How'd you know what I was going to say?" Zakari asked.
"You've been pretty predictable today." Konata replied. Zakari muttered a few cuss words under his breath and sighed. He loved spending time with Konata, really, but he didn't like it when he was small. There was nothing to do when he was this size, it sucked.
"I can't do anything though...I'm too damn small." Zakari sighed.
"Calm down, you'll be back to normal in a sec. What do you want to do?" Konata smiled.
"Um...I don't know..." Zakari mumbled. He really wasn't used to the nicer side of Konata, since she was only ever nice to Bat and Chimera, but he kinda liked it.
"Okay then, just relax for right now." Konata suggested. Zakari only nodded.
Two minutes later, Zakari was practically half asleep just watching Konata work. He enjoyed his time though, even helping occasionally. "Done!" Chimera exclaimed, popping in randomly.
"That was only two minutes!" Zakari shouted, though it was followed with a yawn. There goes seeming surprised. Yawns ruin everything.
"Yes, I know. I'm still good, I guess." Chimera shrugged. "Anyways, drink this, I had Bat help me so it should work faster than normal."
"From Bat helping you?" Konata asked.
"Strange isn't it? He's very unexperienced but still very helpful. See, when demons work together, things turn out better, no matter the breed of demon." Chimera explained.
"Okay then...this is like a regular sized shot...but I'm small so it's like a really big cup." Zakari stated. "Who cares? Better training for when I'm legal!" Zakari drank the liquid in a matter of seconds. "Easy."
"Well, I know who the drunk of the group is going to be." Konata sighed. "Though I can't say I've never had alcohol myself, hard to get used to."
"You drink?" Zakari questioned.
"Yeah, not that much though. Only occasionally." Konata shrugged.
"That explains quite a lot about Bat wanting to break bottles." Chimera chuckled. "Anyways, I should get back to taking care of my little brother. It should only take a few minutes to work." With that, Chimera was gone, frickin' teleportation.
"Then I'm back to working." Konata rolled her eyes.
"That's boring. Konata. Why do you waste time working so much?" Zakari asked.
"You'll know when you get a job Zak." Konata smiled. "Weren't you half asleep a few seconds ago?"
"Still am..." Zakari yawned. "But I don't wanna sleep, if I'm gonna turn back at least. I'm not allowed to."
"Ugh...fine, I don't care anymore." Konata stated.
"Really? Then you'll sleep with me?" Zakari exclaimed.
"Don't push it Zak." Konata growled. "But before you start pouting, I will when you go back to your normal self, I promise."
"Awesome! You're being nice though, why?" Zakari beamed.
"Is it much of a problem? I just got in a good mood I guess, I don't really know." Konata shrugged.
"It's not a problem. I just find it kinda unusual...but it's fucking adorable." Zakari smiled. Though in the next few seconds, he was back to normal size. He gave Konata a hug from behind immediately. "You promised me something~!"
"Ugh...I still hate you." Konata muttered.
"Love you too, Kona." Zakari smirked. "Being normal sized is way better than being small!"
"With all the sleeping you've done today, how do you expect to get to sleep tonight?" Konata asked. "Tyler is going to murder you."
"Then I'll just stay here, I know that isn't a problem!" Zakari laughed. "Now, come on! I'm still tired."
"I'm sure." Konata rolled her eyes.
~NEXT DAY~
"Zak, where the hell were you yesterday?" Tyler asked.
"In a dystopian land of giant screaming naked people that eat regular sized normal people just for fun and are making the normal sized people go to extinction. Except some people can turn into giant screaming naked people." Zakari stated.
"You watch too much Attack on Titan." Tyler sighed.
"No, I don't. I actually don't pay attention, I watch it with Konata but...you know how I am with staying focused on anything but my Konata~!" Zakari shrugged, hugging Konata.
"Zak, come on! You are really affectionate today." Konata growled.
"I know I am, only because I love you so much!" Zakari laughed.
"Anyone else notice his abnormal good mood?" Phoenix asked.
"I think we all do." Elliot chuckled. "But it's better than him being his normal self, he gets pissed off as easily as Konata does."
"What can I say? It's my nature." Zakari smirked.
"Whatever...oh, and the teacher wanted to see you. You missed a lot of work yesterday." Tyler smiled.
"Fuuuuck, I hate homework!" Zakari growled.
"Zak, if you go get your work, I'll help you." Konata sighed.
"Really? Awesome! Imma go see the teacher now..." Zakari exclaimed, running off immediately.
"You're being abnormally nice." Phoenix pointed out.
"I'm in a good mood, yesterday's work wasn't that bad and quite entertaining." Konata shrugged.
~END~
Inu: hope you enjoyed this because my next priority is making this again, except Reversed. It's a new thing I'm doing, writing and then writing the Reverse. So it'll be a small Konata, and it's probably going to be so much funnier. Especially since Konata can't avoid people as easily as Zak can so...wait for that! Also there's some other stuff planned but you have to wait to find out!
