This is My Wish
Chapter Twelve – First Night
Edward
The day had been promising and nothing like I expected. A part of me thought that whatever was between Bella and I would be somewhat awkward. If I were to take into consideration the breakup and the reasons behind it, the day should've been filled with tense bits of silence and glances. However, it almost seemed that we started where we left off.
I wasn't stupid, because there was no way that was the case. I'd done some shit that was unforgivable and unforgettable. There was a part of me that wanted that all encompassing passion and love from Bella and Riley I had felt before I'd left.
Then another part of me believed that I needed to earn their love. Not with what I could buy them, but by being a part of their lives. It wasn't going to be easy and as my father had said to be hundreds of times before, nothing worth doing is easy. That's what makes it great.
I pressed my hand on the ache on my chest. The same ache I'd felt since Bella said that Riley was sick again. It lessened a little while they smiled, laughed and allowed me to be with them all day. However, as I held onto Riley as he slept, my heart clenched.
I had no idea how much time we had left together. That scared me so much.
"He didn't eat much earlier," I said softly, watching as Bella finished setting the patio table.
She shook her head and gave me a small smile over her shoulder. "He's having trouble swallowing, I think."
"You think?"
"He won't say," she whispered and I could make out the tiny shiver that ran through her. "He has an appointment tomorrow."
I nodded and rose to my feet, cradling Riley in my arms. I laid him on a lawn chair. Slowly, I approached Bella and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She sighed and melted against me. Pressing my lips on her temple, I whispered in her ear, "I have a shoot tomorrow at six in the morning, but I'd love to see you two later."
"We're going to the hospital pretty early, you can meet us after."
"I'd like that," I said. "Any chance I could take Riley somewhere tomorrow afternoon?"
She turned her head enough to look up at me. "Where are you taking him?"
I grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. "It's a secret." She scowled, causing me to laugh. "I had forgotten how much you hate surprises."
"When it involves my son, of course, I do."
I squeezed her and pressed my lips to her shoulder. "He asked me to do something with him. Don't worry, it's perfectly legal."
"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," she said, turning to finish setting up, but not before bumping my hip with her butt.
"Don't you trust me?" I hadn't meant to ask the question out loud, fearing the answer. She stilled and I knew I'd hate whatever she said next.
"I think so," she replied softly, turning to look at me. Her eyes were wide and a lovely color washed over her face. Her soft lips brushed over mine. "I want to." She gave me another kiss, even softer than the first. "I do."
My hands splayed over her torso, following the curve of her hips. Slowly, I deepened the kiss and pulled her closer. I groaned softly when I felt all her curves mold against my body.
"Ewww!" Riley said, wiping his eyes with his fists. "You two are so gross."
Bella laughed, pecked my lips twice more before she gave a mock glare at her son. "Go wash your hands," she said and then turned to me. "You, too." I pouted and kissed the tip of her nose. I ran toward Riley, throwing him over my shoulder.
While we washed up in the Riley's bathroom, I asked him how he was feeling. He shrugged and didn't meet my eyes. I had a feeling that he was keeping how he really felt from his mother, possibly hoping to keep her from hurting further. "It's been less than a week since we found out, but I don't feel too bad." I nodded and reminded him about taking pictures tomorrow.
"What do you think we should wear?" he asked, scrunching up his nose. "Something cool, I think would be best." I laughed and hefted him under my arm before walking into the kitchen. Bella called out, asking to bring the bag of chips on the counter. Riley laughed, red-faced as he grabbed the bag and tried to toss to his mother when we walked outside.
With one hand on her hip, Bella cocked an eyebrow in question. "Thought I'd save him the trouble of walking," I said with a grin.
"Yeah," Riley added, still laughing. I dropped him into a chair and kissed the top of his head. He sighed and smiled up at me. And that made my day.
~oOo~
After dinner was done and the dishwasher loaded, Riley and I got his gaming system set up. After an hour of playing Rockband, I realized that Bella wasn't watching us any longer. I told Riley I'd grab us some drinks, and made my way to the kitchen.
I found Bella sitting out on the porch, just outside the patio doors. A cup in tea in hand, she looked pensive as she watched the sun set under the horizon. Tears, though dry by then, appeared like tracks down her pale face.
"Baby," I whispered, touching the curve of her cheek with a fingertip. "You need to come inside." She nodded and shivered slightly, the cooler air from a breeze teased her hair. When she stood up, she tried hard to pull herself together. I took her in my arms and pressed her head against my shoulder. "Make a stop at the bathroom before you come back to us." She nodded, understanding that Riley couldn't see her like that.
"Thank you." I only nodded in response and plastered a fake smile on my face as I returned to Riley. It hurt me to see Bella in such a state of sadness and it would gradually get worse. I was determined to be there for her and Riley every step of the way.
Riley looked at me as I entered the living room and his smile fell. It seemed that Bella wasn't the only one that could tell when I was acting. I wasn't sure if I should be happy about that or not. "How is she?" he asked.
I grabbed the guitar he passed me and smiled. "She'll be fine, Ri," I replied and pointed to the game. "She said she'd join us in a bit."
He sighed softly, watching me closely. "I know it's a lot to ask, after everything you've already done—pretending to be my dad –"
I stopped him right there. "You're not forcing me to do anything I wouldn't do for you anyway. As for pretending, I stopped doing that the moment you shook my hand the way we used to before I left. Anything you ask of me, I can't deny you, Ri, but I ask you to respect your mother in all this."
He nodded. "I know I misbehaved earlier," he murmured. "I hadn't even realized I'd done it. I feel real bad about it. I want to do things for her, things she would've looked forward to if…you know. And I need your help."
I nodded and swallowed hard, attempting to keep the emotion from my voice. "I'll do what I can, buddy." He nodded and smirked, something I hadn't seen him do before. I considered that for a moment and realized that maybe I was rubbing off on him.
I better stop cussing before Bella kicked my ass.
Shaking the thought from my mind, I plopped down beside him and started a new round. After a few minutes, I noticed Bella had walked into the room, watching us quietly. When she hadn't said anything for several moments, I chanced a glance at her and found her trying not to laugh.
"What?" I asked, turning my attention back to the screen. "Riley! When the hel-heck did you change the song?"
He laughed and wiggled his eyebrows. "Yeah, when you were making eyes at my mom."
Bella snorted and giggled, walking over and sitting on the arm of the couch beside me. To me, it really wasn't fair, since she made it impossible to concentrate. "What?" I asked again, possibly sounding rude.
She smacked the back of my head. I glared at her playfully, earning a sweet smile. "You both look constipated when you're playing." That said, she was laughing again. Fuck, it felt good to hear her laugh like that. So fucking free of all the bad shit that had to plague her.
I growled, surprised to hear Riley doing the same thing beside me. As if we were both sharing the same thoughts, we replied, "Do not."
She only laughed harder.
~oOo~
"You don't have to tuck me into bed," Riley said softly as I threw a pillow at his face. He deflected it easily, laughing.
"I thought it would be a good time to discuss what it is you'd like to do for your mother," I said as I pulled his handmade quilt over him. It was rather small, faded, worn. After a moment, I realized the front of it was made of t-shirts. "Where did you get this?" I asked, recognizing a few logos.
He shrugged. "My mom made it." His fingers lingered over a Seattle Seahawks logo in one corner. "Some of them were my Grandpa Charlie's shirts. This one," he pointed to a UC Berkeley one, "belonged to my mom, she went to school there, but only for a year. She had to move here because the hospital nearby would be better for me." His voice sounded firm, yet there was a sadness that tinged it. The boy in front of me felt he was to blame for what was happening to him. Before I could respond, tell him he was wrong, he continued. "This one and that one there were yours."
My eyes snapped to his, and then back to the blanket. "Mom said you left a few things behind in our suitcases." He smiled at me then. "I think she has another one." From time to time, I'd taken Bella and Riley places, the beach, an amusement park that had required overnight stays at hotels or one of my homes. She had kept them with her, even after I had left.
A part of me loved the idea that a piece of me remained with them. However, a part hated that they were driven to keep them because they were all I had left behind. Fuck, I didn't deserve their forgiveness.
"Wow," I said hoarsely. "That's awesome, Ri." I choked on the words that wanted to spill forth, to beg for him to forgive me. I cleared my throat before I continued. "Your mom did a great job."
He nodded and smiled. "Now, about what I wanted to do for my mom."
I chuckled and smirked. "Something tells me you might need to convince your mom to let you do whatever you're about to ask me."
"I hope not," he said thoughtfully. I could see the cogs working in his mind. "You may need to convince her."
"All right." He crooked his finger, asking me silently to come closer. Thankfully, Bella had allowed me to put her son to bed. I was positive she knew that Riley had been chomping on the bit for some privacy. He'd been antsy all night.
After having me double check to make sure Bella hadn't been listening in, he told me what I wanted. I was fucking floored. I couldn't make any promises and his request could lead to disaster, even if it was what I'd wanted for some time.
It was one that may destroy me – and us. As we said our customary good-byes with our handshake, I had to wonder if Riley was capable of reading my mind. When I turned out the lights, my hand on his door knob, Riley suddenly cried out my name.
"What is it, Ri?"
He looked embarrassed, but reluctantly and silently pointed toward a nightlight on his desk. I nodded and smiled, turning on the light again. I grabbed it and plugged into the outlet farthest from him. He nodded, blushing.
"You never used to be afraid of the dark," I whispered.
Riley looked away. "No, I wasn't. Not 'til recently." I chose not to ask, because I knew he was embarrassed, but also realized why he might be afraid of the dark. Maybe he was afraid he wouldn't wake up.
~oOo~
I sighed deeply, gathering myself before I made my way back to Bella. She smiled when I entered the kitchen. Unable to resist, I wrapped my arms around her from behind. Kissing the nape of her neck, I whispered, "Is this okay?" She nodded, tipping her head to one side to allow me further access.
"Is everything okay?" she asked, turning in my arms. Her eyes wide and warm greeted me, but her smile was tentative.
I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he wants me to take him to get pictures of us for you." It was true in a way, but it wasn't what had been bothering Riley earlier. I wasn't ready to announce what Riley asked of me.
"Oh! That would be great," she said as her arms wrapped around my shoulders and neck. "You two look great together."
I laid my forehead on hers and breathed deeply, she smelled so fucking sweet. "You sure you don't mind?"
She laughed, caressing my cheek with one hand. How the hell was she so comfortable with me after only a few days? Had she really forgiven me? Was she willing to give me all of her?
"What are you wearing? The idea of having great shots worthy of GQ of my men sounds pretty damn good to me." Damn, Riley and I were going to have to grab some suits or tuxes. I'd wear anything to get Bella to smile as she was at that moment and to say "my men" again.
"It's getting late," I said. It was a subtle way to bring up our earlier conversation while she barbequed outside, the discussion in which she asked me to stay. She stilled in my arms and pulled back to look at me in confusion.
"I thought you were staying?" She bit her lip and seemed embarrassed.
"I want to," I said simply. "But I'm not expecting anything, baby."
She nodded and took my hand in hers. Leading throughout the house, we checked the locks and windows, set up the alarm before walking toward her bedroom.
At the foot of her bed, she pressed her lips to mine and sighed. "We're not ready for that, yet," she said and I nodded in agreement. "But I don't want to be sleep alone tonight."
Once again, I nodded, unable to say anything. Completely lost to the look in her eyes, I watched her face as she pulled my shirt over my head. I hissed slightly, my ribs still throbbed painfully, but it was easily forgotten as her fingers skimmed over the bruised area.
"Brat," I moaned, causing her to laugh softly. She kissed my jaw and led me to the side of the bed. "Um…should I," I looked down at my jeans and met her eyes, suddenly nervous. She laughed.
"Boxers are fine, Edward," she said, walking to her dresser. She pulled out much too little fabric to be pajamas and made her way to the hallway restroom.
The woman was determined to drive me insane. I willed down my reaction and climbed into bed after removing my jeans. That was a fucking futile attempt because the moment she stepped back into the room in my old t-shirt and cut off sweats, my reaction was the least of my worries.
She smiled that not-so-innocent smile and slipped into bed beside me. "Good night, Edward." I swallowed hard and tried not to assault her when she curled around me. She wiggled into place and laughed when I groaned, stilling her by placing my hands on her hips.
I murmured, "You, my dear, are a devil in disguise." To get even or maybe just to make matters worse, I kissed her thoroughly. It was enough to leave us both breathless and wanting more. "Good night, Bella."
It had only taken her a few minutes to fall asleep and as I held her, I realized I forgot to ask her what the hell we were going to tell Riley the next day. Was she okay with him finding us in bed together? Fuck.
"You think too much," she whispered. Apparently, Bella was a fantastic actress.
"I thought you were asleep," I replied, nuzzling the back of her neck with my mouth.
"Can't sleep."
"Why?"
"Not without asking you something."
"What's that?" I asked warily.
"That last night, you said something in your sleep."
I stilled, hating the fact that I still fucking sleep talked. It was something I'd done since I was a kid. Most of the time, I'd never worried about it, since nobody slept in my bed with me. Well, until Bella.
"What did I say?"
"You called me something," she murmured.
"What?"
"Yours."
I sighed and kissed her shoulder gently, loving the fact that my shirt was too big for and bared her skin there. "You were then, as you are now, love."
"You said specifically your—" she trailed off, squirming in my arms.
I pulled her onto her back and looked at her curiously. "What did I say?"
"I'm not sure if I should say anything."
"Why is that?" What the fuck could I have said that made her look so upset.
"Because if you meant it, it would make what happened that much worse. And if you didn't, I don't know how I'll feel."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I sat up, turning on her lamp.
"You called me your wife," she blurted out, biting her lip nervously.
Well, shit. What the hell was I supposed to say to that?
