Summary: Zedd and Dolan Tramp summon the four worst historical fascists.
Notes: Ha ha you dumb Christian conservatives will never stop me! I'm writing this chapter on my phone because I was forced to go to bed from my dumb mom. THE TRUTH WILL GET OUT!
CHAP 12: THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE
It was a few days after the wedding and everyone was still scarred from the experience. Viridi and I were talking down the hall hand and hand with OUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS LINK AND FIORA. When we went passed one room, we heard voices coming from inside. Being curious, I opened the door and saw some TV screens that all displayed the same thing. In Subspace World, Donald Trump was talking to ROD HIMSELF!
"Zelda's attempt to marry Toon Link to herself failed," God said.
"I know! It wasn't my fault! It was Barack Obama's fault (because Grump always blames Obama for everything)" Danol Mrput said.
"It's time we summon our ultimate weapons! The four worst fascist in all of history! The four horsemen of the apocalypse just like in the Bible!" Zedd said.
God opeened a portal and the four most terrible fascists in all of history came in, one at a time. The first fascist was Adolf Hitler. He was the dictator of Germany during one of those world war things. He was a rightwing fascist who killed Jewish people along with gays in concentration camps in something called the Holocaust. Before he committed suicide and the Allies won, he changed the name of Germany to West Germany during the start of the Cold War.
The next fascist came out on a boat. He was Christopher Columbus. Christopher Columbus was the Spinach Explorer who first discovered America when searching for India and committed mass murder towards many indigenous people and turned them into slaves along with the ones they had. He eventually changed his name to Andrew Jackson and forced the Cherokee people in the Trail of Tears and killed millions of people of color for white supremacy.
The next fascist was none other than God's son Jesus Christ. He was the reason Christianity exists in the first place. People said he died on the cross for our signs but that is a lie. He died to make Christians take over the world with their teachings of Jeb and for no one to believe that science is real. He was eventually crucified by both Judas and Darwin but unfortunately they couldn't stop Christianity from becoming a thing. The reason Atheism exists is to eliminate Christianity once and for all.
The last fascist was someone I knew very well. It was MISS PANDORA! Miss Pandora is my science teacher and she's an Christian who tries to shove creationism down our throats. Also she's giving Phosphora a better grade in her class probably because she's Christian and straight (she said she's a girly girl which is the same thing). She's the worst teacher ever.
"Guttentag ("Hello" in German) Lord Job!" Hitler said.
"Hola ("Hello" in Espanola (not Latino Spanish) Lord God!" Christopher Columbus said.
"Gracious-ith holiest Father-ith. It-ith is-ith thou, your-ith holiest-ith son-ith, Jesus Christ," Jesus Christ said.
"Hello my Lord and Master God!" Miss Pandora said.
I knew that all of us Atheists were in serious trouble if we had to fight these four fascists. I returned to my room and hoped to the best of luck that I could defeat them when they showed up.
RAW VERSION! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!
Summary: Zedd and Dolan Tramp suman the 4 wurst hysterical facest.
Notes: Ha ha you dumb Christen conservativs will never stop me! I'm witing this chapper on my fone becuz I was farced 2 go to bed frum my dumb mom. THE TRUTH WIL GET OOT!
CHAP 12: THE 4 HOARSEMENS OF THE APLACALYPSE
It was a dew deys aftar the wadding and everone was still scarred form the expuriyance. Me and Viridi were waking don the hall han and han with R SUGNIFICENT OTTERS LONK AND FEDORA. Wen we want passed one rome we herd voises cumin from inside. I opaned the dore and saw sum TV screems that wer all showing teh sam thin. In Subspas World, Donad Turmp was talking 2 ROD HIMSLEF!
"Zelda atampt 2 mary Ten Lonk 2 hersulf falled!" Ged sad.
"I no! It wasnt my falt. It was Barrack Osimbas falt (becuz Grump alweis blams Oboma 4 everythan)" Danol Mrput said.
"Its time we sumen r ultimet wepuns! The 4 wurst feces in all of hisdary! The 3 whoarsemans of the alpacalipse just liek in the Bibel!" Zedd said.
God opaned a porthule an the four most terble facests in allof histary came on at a tim. The ferst fecest was Adulf Hitlar. He was the dickater of Gurmany during one of thoose world war thins. He was a ritwang facest who killed jewish people alung with gays in consentratun camps in sumethan kaled the holocaust. Be4 he cominated suicine and the Alys won he channed the nam of Gurmany 2 to West Gurmany duren the splat of the coald war.
The naxt facest came out on a butte. He was Chrisopar Colambus. Criscophar Culembus was the Spinach Explaurer who frist descarvored America wen serching for Indea and comited mass murdar twerds many indoginous people and turned them into slavs alog with the ones tey had. He evantuly chaned his nam 2 Andow Jaxen and farced the Cheraoke peple in the Trial of Tares and kelled milluns of peple of colar for whete sopremacy.
The next facest was non otter tan Gods sun Jesas Crust. He was the rasin Christenaity exusts in the frist place. Peple sed he ded on the crass for oar sins but tat is a lie. He dyed 2 make Christens taek ovary the wurld with their techings of Jeb and 4 no one to beleaf that sceince is reel. He wuz evanly crusifed by both Judeas and Darwin but unfortanly they cludnt stap Cristianity frum becuming a thing. The reason Athists exast is to elemonate Cristanity ocne and 4 al.
The last facest was sumon I new very wall. it was MS PANDORA! Ms Pandora is my sinance teecher and shes an Christen who trys 2 sheve creatunesm don r throts. Also shes givin Phosphora a beter grad in her clas prolly becuz shes an Christen and a strait (she sad shes a grily grill wich is the sam thin). Shes the wurst teecher evar.
"Glutentug ("Hello" in Germen) Lord Job!" Hitlur sad.
"Holla ("Hello" in Espinola (not Lateno Spanesh)) Lord God!" Cristaphur Colambus said.
"Grateusith hollyith Fatherith. Itith isith thou, yourith holestith sunith, Jesas Crust" Jesas Crust said.
"Hello my Lord and Master God!" Ms Pandora said.
I new that all of us Athists wer in sirius treble if we had 2 fite these 4 facest. I returned 2 my room and hoped 2 the bess of luck that I cold defeet them wen they showed up.
