Chapter 12- Song Bird
Avoiding the rest of the tributes except Peeta, I make my way towards the building. Peeta is getting shot dirty looks from the rest of the tributes. They all think he's lying too. He's the only one in the elevator so I quickly jump in I'm not sure what I'm going to stay but I know he has spotted me looking at him. Unable to speak any words I give him a small smile. He turns to look away without returning it.
"Peeta!" I say loudly, clamping my hand over my mouth the moment I say it, it makes him stop and look at me, a softer expression on his face. The blonde hair has been pushed back but he had been running his hands through it, it's now coming forward again
"Katniss...I don't think she believes you."
His blue eyes widen in shock. "What?", he questions. "Oh. You do?"
Nodding my head I say, "Yes, you really do don't you?"
"More then anything."
"I'm sorry Peeta."
Then we both go to walk away, he calls back, "Good luck in the arena Rue."
"You too."
Then I step out the elevator onto my floor.
It hits me like a bullet.
This could be my last night.
It almost step back, realising the pounding of my head is agony, I hadn't even noticed I had had a headache. Ever part of my body is screaming from being picked at all today. The lights in the room seem brighter then the city circle.
I shut my eyes and feel myself topple backwards.
When I open my eyes I see four adults all looking at me, very concerned.
"What...what happened?" I stammer, feeling sick and dizzy.
Thresh helps me to sit up, it makes me feel slightly better.
Melly answers softly, "You fainted."
"Don't worry," says Thresh, "I caught you before you hit your head."
"Thanks. That was lucky."
"Lucky for you maybe, for someone so small, you're very difficult to carry."
"Thanks." I repeat, trying to stand up. Charles steadies me.
"Feel better?"
"Yes thanks...I'm hungry."
Thresh laughs at me with Melly, who tells me that dinner will be served soon but I have to get out of my dress first. After a long shower, where I scrub off all my make-up and flowers I put a fluffy top and a pair of long, flowing trousers. My headache is fading which is on the brighter side, I can't be sick tomorrow, games start at 10.
When I sit down to eat, Claudia is giving Ancealia an earful about how she didn't let me eat today.
"She needs food to keep strong, what if she had fainted on stage? She would have looked weak and pathetic!"
"It's alright Claudia, it doesn't matter, I think I managed that without fainting."
"You were perfect Rue." corrects Charles.
Then the subject changes to Katniss and Peeta.
Star-crossed lovers.
"It's obviously a special plan to get them sponsors! I mean, they barley know each other, how can they be in love?" complains Charles.
"It's not!" I sat, harsher then I meant. I lower my voice. "He really does love her!"
"Don't be ridiculous Rue! How can it be true?"
"It is! I can tell, I watched them both. He loves her!"
Charles opens his mouth to argue but Thresh cuts in.
"He does. Rue can always tell these things."
Most of the rest of the meal is in silence, I want to make it better but find no way that doesn't evolve
me saying that I am wrong. I am not wrong.
Claudia compliments the waiters on the meal, her loud voice ringing through the empty atmosphere. I'm too tired to care really. Why would us going to die tomorrow be any different to her? She does this every year. Meets two new people, gets them here, eats with them then watches them die.
Eventually, they all leave for bed, once again leaving Thresh and I alone. I forgot he wanted to talk to him. We walk over to the sofa, with another cup of hot chocolate. Thresh holds out the sugar to me.
"Here you go Sugar." he open our conversation with the same words, it makes me smile still.
"Thanks, what did you want talk to me about?"
Thresh shifts in his seat. "Okay, so I have something I wanted to tell you, before...before the Games."
He takes in a breath, it's so quiet I could almost hear our heart breathing.
"So, do you remember who I said I wanted to win for?"
"Yes, Bell?"
"Yes, but do you know who Bell is?"
I shake my head.
"She's my sister."
His sister? I didn't even know he had a sister, I've never seen her before.
"I didn't think you'd know her, I wish you had. She was so sweet, so kind, so lovely. She could make anyone smile."
His eyes drift off to see something I'll never be able to see.
"Was?"
"Do you remember the Games four years ago?"
I shake my head again, that was the year Lillian was about to be born, she was born during the Games were taking place. I didn't watch the Games much that year, if at all as I couldn't leave Mum and she couldn't walk to the town to the television to watch it.
"Bell was entered, her first year. She was only in there once."
I think about it, Melly was our last district winner.
She died.
"Thresh...I'm so sorry." I can't think of anything else to say.
"I wanted to volunteer, for the boy. The boy was picked first, a fifteen year old and then Bell was called out. It.. it was too late to volunteer! Why wouldn't they just let me?" His voice is raised as he covered his head with his hands. He continues.
"No one would volunteer for her, I had to say goodbye. It wasn't fair! She was so brave, played at the same angle as you. The shy, girly twelve year old. She even had Melly and Charles as mentors, Ancealia was even her stylist. Why did it have to be you?"
"It's alright Thresh, maybe it won't be the same, maybe..." I trail off.
Maybe I'll win? Maybe I won't die? Then he will! He'll survive? Then he'll be just like Melly, refusing to come back to 11. Lillian won't have him any more, he won't be there to protect her now I can't!
"I don't want you to die! It's not fair what the Capitol do! You're so much like her, when I first met you, I thought it was like you were the same person, so kind, and nice and optimistic. You both care about your family so much! At first I didn't want to be around you, the consent reminder of someone I loved, who I couldn't save but now...now it's like I'm at the Games with her."
He pauses, uncovering his face, his dark eyes finding mine. They are swimming with tears.
"I can tell her what I think of her dress, see how she reacts to all the Capitol stuff and how she did at training! I can finally help her to live!But it's not going to work! I couldn't help her then and I can't help you now! And I'm so sorry Rue, I wish I could just let you go home, just protect you and let you go home!. I'll try, I promise. I will help you where ever I can, I want to die! I want to join Bell!"
He stares at me and I wonder who he thinks I am now, who is he telling this too?
"I'm not Bell, Thresh. Saving me isn't going to bring her back, I'm so sorry too but it's not! But you have helped me, as I'm sure you helped her too. Just knowing you wanted to volunteer for her will have helped her, it does for me with my family! And you keep making me smile, helping me just get through the days until I have to go to the Games. You've saved me from hating my last days and I'll never be able to thank you enough."
Carefully, I wrap my arms around him while he finishes.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"She knows Thresh, Bell will know you're sorry."
