Massive apologies to everyone still reading this. ^^; I said one day between posts and it's been over a week now. Just, that writer's block? Kinda hit.. I was just... stuck. And I still don't really like this chapter but I didn't want to sit on it anymore. It was pissing me off too much. Thanks to everyone who is still reading! I'm starting on the next chapter rightfuckingnow.
Stephenie Meyer still owns these characters!
La Popular is a Mexican bakery in Abilene, Texas. I was born and raised on their fewd! So good!
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken,
Your best friend always sticking up for you… even when I know you're wrong,
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five-hour phone conversation,
The best soy latte that you ever had… and me?
-Drops of Jupiter, Train
"You… are just disgusting! Ugh!"
"Really? You really don't like that? It's so good, you have to try it!"
"No! That's just… eww. I mean like beyond gross! Where the hell did you even come up with that?"
"Late nights and no food, c'mon! You have to try it! It's like… a staple or something!"
"Um, no I don't. That's fucking gross. Remind me not to let you ever feed me."
"Seriously? It's good. You just wait; I'll get you to try it one day."
"No, you won't. I'm liable to throw up my dinner just thinking about it."
"Bella," Edward sighed, "Don't talk about throwing up. It makes me want to throw up."
I laughed, "I wish you would throw up. I don't know how you ate that and didn't throw up."
"Bella! Ramen noodles and picante sauce are delicious. One day woman! One day, I'll teach you what's good."
"I don't know that I trust your judgment. I mean, you used to eat ramen noodles and picante sauce, like, voluntarily. That says something about you-"
"Mhm, that I have good taste. You just wait angel. I'll get you to try it one day," he laughed.
We'd been doing this all week long. He'd call, I'd vent, we'd joke, he'd ask questions, I'd answer, he'd tell me some weird story, I'd feel better, we'd say goodnight. It was nice and uncomplicated. I'd even grown somewhat immune to him calling me 'angel.' Almost. Somewhat. Kinda.
That's what I told myself anyway, "No, you really won't. College late nights and no food usually resulted in Cheetos or popcorn for me. Something from a fucking vending machine. That's normal. Your shit is just… ew. There's really no other word."
"That's so boring! I mean, Cheetos are good, don't get me wrong, but… Cheetos and picante sauce would be-"
"Don't you dare taint my Cheetos!"
"I'm not," he breathed a laugh. He was in a really good mood tonight. "I'm only trying to broaden your horizons Bella. You could use some new in your life."
Uh…
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He sighed, "Nothing. Nothing at all. You really shouldn't try to read in to everything I say."
"I don't do that-"
"Yes, you do. All the time."
"I've only been talking to you for like a day or-"
"Three days. That's beside the point. The point is that you read in to everything I say."
"I do not-"
"Yes, you do. Look, if you don't want to try ramen noodles and picante sauce, then don't. That's all I'm saying."
"Um, no it isn't," I said stiffly. "You specifically said I needed new in my life."
He laughed, "And how isn't you trying ramen and picante not new?"
I huffed, "But that's not what you meant-"
"Bella, please trust when I say that if I wanted to give advice, other than how good ramen and picante is… Well I would. But then, I'd have to listen to you try to give me advice," his laughing was really starting to annoy me. "And judging from any comment you've made to me about my fiancée… Well forgive me for not wanting to put myself through that."
Totally didn't understand him and Tanya. I'd not met the woman true, but from what Ben and Angela say about her, I just don't think I'll ever want to. He said himself that first night on the phone that 'he knew what she wanted from him.' He hadn't ever explained that so I was drawing my own conclusions on the subject. Which weren't good. She was a hussy slut bag ho who was sleeping with the boss to get further in life. Make that marrying the boss.
But then, that kind of didn't make sense to me either. I mean, if she was marrying him, why would she care about her position with the company? He'd be inheriting quite a bit upon Esme's official retirement and the dude was loaded as it was. Why would she care about working when she could just spend his money after they married?
It didn't matter ultimately because, like with all things in my life, I was too chickenshit to ask Edward about it.
"I don't really give advice, so you'd be safe there," I replied honestly. "Don't think I want you to go spouting off words of fucking wisdom to me or anything though. I don't want nor do I need advice. I just need… Hell I don't know what I need."
"Okay well, no advice meant, but… I think you just need to man up Bella. Once you do, once you talk to at least one of the two… I just think things will be a lot clearer for you."
"That sounded a fuck of a lot like advice."
"Yeah, I guess it did," he sighed. "I guess I'm not as good at this as I hoped I'd be."
"Yeah, you really aren't," I laughed. He growled in response and told me goodnight. Off to lick his wounds I would assume.
~*~
Thursday after work I decided to make my run to the liquor store. Angela asks for tequila, Angela gets tequila. I'm thinking Bella might get wine coolers. Wine coolers are tasty. And not near as likely to leave me incapacitated on Saturday.
And I might not say anything to embarrassing either.
Never failed, I get drunk, I tell secrets. Or stupid things. Embarrassing things. That was bad if Edward Cullen was going to be around. Edward Cullen and my therapist. Edward Cullen and his sister. His sister my dear friend Angela. Yeah, wine coolers it is.
"You should definitely get the watermelon. Especially if you're gonna be a pussy and not join in the tequila shots."
I grinned as I turned to face Edward, "What are you doing here?"
He grinned back, "Same as you I'd say. Except my mission is to buy rum. And if Angela wants rum…"
I knew exactly what he meant.
And poor Angela, she'd hid from me for half a day before sulking up to the desk the day after Edward had first called. She'd sputtered out all kinds of apologies, mumbled about it being Ben's idea and then threw herself on the floor fake-crying out 'I'm sorry' over and over. I'd been laughing so hard; I almost forgot to tell her I wasn't upset.
That surprised me almost more than anything. I wasn't upset, at all. It felt good to talk to him. He was like a long-lost friend and that was a great comfort to me.
"Yep. I got the tequila already-"
"Oh no you don't. That," he pointed to the bottle I was holding in my hand, "is crap. Come, let me educate you."
I laughed but followed and he pulled a different bottle off proclaiming it to be the best. It sure as fuck better be the best, the damn thing was more than I make in a month. He laughed as my eyes widened, putting the bottle back and pulling out another. He was quite knowledgeable in the area of tequila. I asked him where he learned so much about it, earning a crooked grin and a shrug and a quiet, "College."
We finally settled on one that wasn't exactly in my price range, but not so much that I would feel guilty buying it. I inquired about his purchase which got me another shrug and a, "I know fuck-all about rum."
I laughed at that, wondering silently why Angela would send me to get something that was obviously Edward's favorite shot. Again with the nagging in the back of my head. Sometimes I wish my brain would just… go to sleep or something.
"So, where you off to?"
"Oh! Um… Just home I think, I didn't eat much at lunch and there are leftovers calling my name," I laughed.
"Wow. Leftovers. Yum. You should just come to dinner with me, I was gonna go to this Mexican place."
"La Popular?"
His eyes widened, glazing over a bit, "You said the magic words."
I laughed, "Your sister and you are so fucking weird."
"Come eat with me? I hate eating alone and Tanya's out of town."
I hesitated, wondering if it was really a good idea. I mean, I guess technically… Or I don't know… Or what about… I looked up to find him smirking at me; he knew what I was thinking, even if I didn't. I hated that he could read me so easy.
"Um… okay."
"Gee, don't sound so excited," he chuckled. "C'mon, it's not far, I'll drive you back to your car later."
I didn't think that was a very good idea and was about to voice my concerns when, "Seriously?!"
He looked at me puzzled, "What?"
I burst out laughing, huge deep laughs making my whole body shake and tears spring to my eyes. He looked at me for all of about thirty seconds before joining in with my laughs.
"You drive a fucking Volvo?!"
He stopped laughing.
His face twisted into a grimace, this made me laugh harder, "I mean a Volvo?"
His eyes met mine and his face softened a bit, "What's wrong with Volvo's? It's a very safe care."
I doubled over, unable to breathe anymore, "It's for soccer moms Edward. They even made a song about it!"
He stood and glared at me for a few seconds before rolling his eyes, "Get in the fucking car and shut-up."
~*~
"Do you put picante sauce on everything?"
"Hey woman, don't knock it," seriously he's smothering it over his rice, refried beans, enchiladas, and large spoonfuls into his burritos. It looks a little much. "Besides, it's Mexican food. What's Mexican food without picante sauce? I don't know how they eat it in Washington, but-"
"Actually Jasper started me on Mexican food, and he's from Texas. Which is like the Mexican food capital of the U.S. So obviously I know how to eat my Mexican food. I don't know how they eat it in Florida-"
"Yeah because you're scarfing down those enchiladas like they suck," he pointed with his fork while stuffing the burrito in his mouth with his other hand. If he weren't so damn attractive, I'd have to minus some points for his cheeks bulging from the excess of food in them right now. When he'd finally chewed all the food in his mouth, he said, "So where did you go to college Bella?"
"UW, where did you go to college? And really it doesn't matter what you say because I know that they had vending machines. So your thing," I motioned my fork to his food, "with the hot sauce? It's unacceptable, no matter what it's on. You can't even taste the food."
"I can taste the food, thank you very much. And I went to Dartmouth. And they had vending machines. And those vending machines had ramen fucking noodles. They were gross, so I jacked packets of picante from the cafeteria when I'd eat there. You really need to get over this obsession you have with my eating habits Bella, it's really not healthy."
I rolled my eyes, "I don't have an obsession with your eating habits. Just… you know you're gonna get heartburn and acid reflux and indigestion and from the looks of it you won't have any taste buds left either. Aren't you kinda young to be dealing with all that?"
He raised his eyebrow at me, "Are you inquiring my age? Genuine concern, Ms. Swan? I'm touched."
"Don't flatter yourself or anything-"
"Oh, I'm not," he laughed. "I know you a bit better than that. I'm thirty, that's not too old, but yes old enough to worry about those things. Fortunately Prilosec is a miracle. As for my taste buds, you should see Dad; he douses everything in black pepper. Like it doesn't even matter how it's spiced. Guess I come across my weirdness naturally."
He winked at me causing me to blush, "Good to know it's in your genes. You are weird though, for the record."
"It runs in the family, the weirdness. I mean, you have met my family…"
I laughed, "Yeah well you should meet mine sometime."
"Are you inviting me to meet your parents' angel?"
More blushing which I tried to cover with my hair. I hated that he did this to me, "That might be kind of hard. Well, you could meet my Mom, Renee. She lives here, and she's the real weirdness. Like honest to goodness. She's one of those people that never gets bored with herself," I laughed, feeling a bit more light-hearted now just talking about something familiar and not depressing with him. I told him all about Charlie and Renee, their split, my childhood with Charlie, growing up with the Chief as a Dad. Renee's quirks and Charlie's fierce loyalty. "I guess I kind of grew up with the best of both worlds, kind of. I was mainly with Charlie, only visited Renee. Most of my traits I guess I get from him."
"And so your Mom annoys you?"
"No, she doesn't annoy me," I said quickly. I looked up to him catching his smirk and raised eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, "Okay sometimes she annoys me. Only really now because she acts all-knowing and doesn't let you answer questions."
"Yeah but isn't that kind of every mom? They just think they know what's best for you?"
"Why? Does Esme do that to you?"
He chuckled, "All the time. I think it's ingrained into you when you give birth."
"Yeah, but Renee wasn't ever like that before."
"Maybe she just knew you needed her to actually be a mother," he looked down, "I mean, you weren't in the best of shape when you moved here. From what you've told me."
I nodded, looking down as well. I felt tears prick at my eyes and I so didn't want to cry here with him. I liked to reserve my crying for when I was alone, at home. Holding the pillow with Jasper's scent and trying to figure out how to fix everything. I missed him and I wanted him here with me. But I didn't know how to ask him for that. I hadn't returned his phone calls and he was still calling me everyday. Chickenshit, like I said. I was sick of my behavior and I wanted so much to just buck up and do the damn thing already.
"Do you love him Bella?" My head snapped back up to look at Edward. His face was level with mine but his eyes were averted to the side. His hands were clasped together in front of him and I could see the knuckles were white from gripping so hard.
It was the first time anyone had outright asked me that question since the blow-up between myself and Jasper. I knew without having to think that I loved him. I'd always loved him. I just didn't know if I was ready to forgive him yet. He had and was trying so hard to earn my forgiveness. He wasn't giving up on me. It took me a minute to answer. When I did, my voice was almost a whisper, "Yes, I've always loved him."
Edward nodded immediately, clearing his throat, "I think you should tell him. You should give him his reason to keep trying Bella. It sounds like he loves you too."
I nodded, this conversation had abruptly turned uncomfortable.
"Well, let's get you back to your car angel."
~*~
In the car, on the way home I decided it was time to do something. Anything. Edward was right, I needed to let Jasper know how I felt about him, let him know I didn't want him to give up on us. I decided to go home, shower, change into comfy clothes and call my man. The time to hesitate is through.
I was almost giddy, thinking about calling him as I sat my drink down and readied my cell phone for the call. I didn't know what else to tell him but that I loved him but I wasn't going to worry about that. My shower had been heavenly, knowing what I was about to do and my clothes felt even more comfortable than normal. I giggled, fucking giggled again as I hit the send button. It rang once, twice, three times, four, five, and then I heard the click signaling that it had been answered. I drew in a deep breath preparing to tell him how much I loved him-
"This is Jasper, don't know why I'm not answering, but I'll get back to you right quick," followed by the noise signaling to leave a message. My heart dropped in disappointment.
You really don't have anything to be disappointed about Bella. You haven't been answering his calls for awhile now.
I sighed, "Hey Jasper, it's Bella… Um…" here comes the chickenshit, "I'll just try to call you back tomorrow, I guess."
And I hung up. And then I hit my head with my cell phone.
A thought popped into my head out of nowhere. He didn't call today. I checked my phone to be sure. Nope, last call from him was at eleven last night. He didn't answer his phone.
The last time he didn't call me...
A smile broke out on my face. I knew it might be stupid, hell he could just be in bed and couldn't hear his phone to answer it? But then why didn't he call? My head said he was sick of me not answering. My heart said he was stuck on an airplane, or in an airport, flying to me.
My body responded to my heart. I was on my feet in two flat. Running around my apartment with cleaning products, scrubbing everything top to bottom. I started a load of laundry, frowning as I took the sheets and pillowcases that still smelled like him faintly and threw them in to wash. I quickly reassured myself that they would smell like him again, very soon.
It really didn't take long to clean up, I didn't have that much once it was out of boxes. I sat back on the couch, leaning back and turning the television on for noise. I closed my eyes and thought of his face. I couldn't wait for him to be here.
Eventually boredom led me to pay attention to the television. It was getting late, almost midnight. I wished he would just get here already.
So stupid Bella.
Grr. I wish I could shut that fucking voice up. I got lost in the episode of Gilmore Girls that was on. The friendship between Rory and Lorelai was just so damn cute. And unrealistic from my point of view. You couldn't be best friends with your mom, could you? Still, it was nice to think about.
Alice and I used to have Gilmore Girls nights. I teared up again thinking about it. We'd put on our jammies and make popcorn and eat chocolate and drink sodas for the whole hour straight. We would skip dinner, filling up on the junk food. It was the best night of the week. Afterward, we'd put on some music and cuddle on my bed. Talking, sometimes crying about how much our mothers weren't Lorelai Gilmore. We'd always find something to laugh at to cheer us back up. Those nights, we were sisters in every sense of the word.
I think… it's time.
I picked my cell phone back up, scrolling through my contacts slowly. Again, it wasn't that I knew what to say, it was just time. I hit send listening for the ringing and on the third, it picked up.
"Hello?" Her voice sounded hurried, out of breath. Exactly like always. I choked a sob at her voice, realizing now how much I underestimated her presence in my life.
"Alice," I sputtered, my voice cracking on the two syllables.
"Bella?" Her voice had quieted very much by the time she answered me. "Bella? Is that you?"
Deep breath, "Yes, yes it's me."
A sob burst through the line, breaking my heart, "I didn't know if I'd ever hear from you again."
I sucked in a sharp breath, tears thick in my throat as well. "Yeah… I… I didn't know if you would want to hear from me again," I choked out. "I was… Gilmore Girls was on… I missed you so much."
She laughed quietly, still crying throughout, "Damn that show. I still wish for a Lorelai…"
I didn't know what else to say, I hadn't even thought of how her mother would have reacted to any of this. She probably was smug, letting Alice know that she'd always known what was best for her. Rubbing salt in open wounds. For the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to remember that Alice really did love Jasper. That we'd broken her heart. Then I was rambling, "I'm so sorry Alice, for everything. I didn't… I couldn't even think straight. I never meant for any of this to happen. God. I can't even imagine what all of this has been like for you. I love you so much, I would do anything to make this right. Just tell me what to do. I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about what would be happening with your parents. I was blind and stupid and I want to make it right. I'll do anything, I swear. Just tell me. I'll even go back to Forks and take all the names your parents want to call me and you! Oh my God! You! There's probably so much you want to call me! Please just… whatever, whatever you need-"
"Bella-"
"So sorry Alice, really. That's why I left, I should have never come between you two-"
"You didn't Bella-"
"Shouldn't have ever bothered you again, can't blame you for hating me-"
"I don't hate you Bella-"
"Just tell me to go away and I'll never bother you ever again. I'll do whatever to make things okay for you-"
"Bella come on-"
"I can even talk to Jasper, tell him how stupid he's being, get you two back to where you should be-"
"You can't be serious Bella-"
"Don't care about anything else but making things right with you Alice, I was so stupid. So, so stupid-"
"Bella stop!" Her voice finally rang through. I stopped sucking in a deep breath. Thinking back over everything I'd just said to her. Yep, you just told her you'd give Jasper back. Told her you'd give him up. Oh God. My heart hurt thinking about the words. "Bella, I'm only going to say this once, and then we're going to talk. I do not, nor do I ever wish to reconcile with Jasper Whitlock. You have nothing to do with that."
What? What did she mean? Of course I had something to do with that. He left her for me. What was she talking about?
"Alice," my voice cracking still at her name, "forgive me, please. But, I'm not sure I follow what you mean. I do have something to do with you two split-"
"No. You don't. Trust me."
"But-"
"Bella," she sighed, "just shut-up and listen for a second, okay?"
I nodded, before realizing she couldn't see me, "Yeah, okay."
"Thank God. I swear, once you start talking it's like impossible to get you to shut the fuck up. Second only to actually getting you to talk," she laughed lightly. She seemed to realize herself quickly though, as her laughter stopped abruptly, "Okay. I want to make sure you listen to me. I only want to say all this crap once, and then I want us to forget we ever had to have this conversation, okay?"
"Um… okay?"
"Okay. So listen, when I wrote you that letter… I knew Bella. I knew he felt strongly about you. He had this sad look on his face when he came with me to see you. You weren't there and his face was just… devastated. That look, it didn't leave his face. We stayed together for two weeks after we got back from our honeymoon. I would overhear him on the phone, talking to your mom. Talking to you. I knew he'd made his decision. I knew he wanted to be with you. Not gonna lie, that hurt. Especially since I thought neither of you thought enough of me to say shit to me about it. Especially since I thought my best friend was betraying me with my husband. I was torn when I wrote that letter. I really didn't like you when I wrote it, but I still loved you. I wanted you to tell me. I wanted him to tell me. So I wrote what I did, and didn't hear shit from you-"
"Wait, Alice," she sighed, annoyed at the interruption. "I'm sorry, it's just… You said you overheard him talking to me? I didn't talk to him at all until after-"
"If you'd be quiet I'd tell you the rest," she said shortly. I shut-up, sucking in a breath and trying to figure out what she thought she knew. I didn't want her hurting over things that were unnecessary. Thinking that me and Jasper were going behind her back was not what happened and I wanted her to know that. "I know it wasn't you Bella."
"Then what-"
"It's sort of the reason we split. You were the other part. I thought maybe you could be the one to straighten him out, so I didn't say anything to anyone. I let Rose and my parents and everyone else think that you were the reason our marriage was over and I'm sorry for putting that all on you-"
"I'm sorry but I'm really not following-"
"Bella! He was cheating on me! That's what I'm saying!"
"No Alice! I swear to you we didn't talk or anything until after-"
"I know," she sighed. I was thoroughly confused now. If she thought he was cheating on her… I gasped, "Yeah. He was cheating. I caught him. Well, caught them," she spat. "I knew then that it wasn't you he'd been talking to. The first thing I wanted to do was call and cry to you. I mean… I'd only ever been with Jasper. I'd only ever loved him. He's the only man that's ever broken my heart."
I couldn't believe what she'd just told me. Jasper cheated on her! And that he had the audacity to be so unmoving in his belief that I was cheating on him… I couldn't think about that right now. Right now was for Alice.
"I don't even know what to say to you… I can't tell you how sorry I am for you Alice. That I wasn't there for you-"
"It's fine Bella. I'm fine now. I've had awhile to get over my husband. Not nearly long enough, but it's a start. And I think I'm going to be just fine."
It was quiet then, both of us lost in our heads. Reliving moments of our lives spent with Jasper. I couldn't believe he did that to Alice! I guess I should have been more guilt-ridden than anything, seeing as I'd done that to Alice too… I wished that I could be there for her. Hold her, comfort her, turn back time and be the friend she needed.
"Is there anything I can do Alice? I know that's not what you want probably, but I would do anything to help you over this hurdle."
She didn't answer for awhile. I thought my insecurities were confirmed, she didn't want anything to do with me. I hoped that wasn't it though, I hoped she was just trying to figure out what punishment to give me.
"Do you? Do you love him Bella?"
Funny how not three hours ago at dinner with Edward, I knew the answer to that question without a doubt. I wasn't sure anymore.
"Let me rephrase," she sighed. "Did you love him before you talked to me?"
I took a deep breath, "I thought I did, yes."
"And what I told you has made you rethink that?"
"I think so," I said slowly.
"That he cheated on me or that things you were so sure of aren't what you thought they were?"
"Both, I think."
"He accused you of cheating, didn't he? That's why he called me in that panic that night isn't it?"
I sucked in a sharp breath, I hadn't even thought that much into it. My anger rose, "I can't believe he called you! Out of all the people… didn't deserve you… bastard… so sorry Alice… I'm going to kill him!"
"Whoa, slow down there little girl. He was right to call me," a noise of protest came from me, "No Bella, I'm serious. If he hadn't, Rose wouldn't have come. If Rose hadn't come… well I just can't imagine what would have happened. And he'd probably still be there. And you'd probably have forgiven him a lot easier. Whitlock charm and what not."
"Why didn't you come?" My voice was small but that was to be expected.
"I… couldn't Bella. I'm sorry for that, but it was best to send Rose. As worried about as I was… I just couldn't see him and you. Together. I'm not ready for that, I'm sorry."
We were both crying now, for each other, I hoped. "Alice?"
"Yeah," she cried.
"Do you… hate me now?"
"No, Bella. I don't hate you. I don't even blame you actually."
"How can you not?"
"Because I've had time to rationalize everything. Because he messed up enough to make me want to go. You didn't have anything to do with that really. You even moved all the way across the country to try to hide from what you felt," she cried louder at that. "I miss you Bella, so much."
"Oh God, I miss you more than you know Alice," I bawled to her. My voice came out sounding like something out of Charlie Brown and it made me chuckle. Which in turn, made Alice giggle. And just like that we were magnets again. She told me about all she'd been doing in Seattle. She'd gotten a job as a personal shopper at Barney's in downtown Seattle. She of course loved it and had ten regular customers as of today. They loved her, calling her often, keeping her busy. That was good, Alice always needed to be kept busy. She'd found an apartment, not too far away from downtown. She said the rent was moderately expensive but she was doing well at her job now so she didn't worry much.
I told her about Cul de Sac, she was ecstatic about my working for Esme. She said that woman was fabulous and I had to agree. I told her all about Esme and Carlisle's house, how nice they both were. I told her about Angela and Ben and she was happy that I'd found them both but sad that I'd gone to therapy. I told her how much better I had been doing with it though, and that helped her to deal with it. I even told her about Edward, albeit reluctantly.
"Whoa there! You mean to tell me that you found man-candy hotter than that dick of a husband and boyfriend of ours?" My heart stopped for a second but then Alice was howling with laughter. "Oh my God! I'm sorry but that was so funny! Can I call him that from now on?"
I had to join in, "I don't know how he'd feel about it but-"
"I could give a fuck less what Jasper thinks about it. He's not my favorite person you know."
"Yeah, I know."
Sobering thoughts suck. I had decided that it would be a long time before I freely mentioned him to Alice again, "Sooooo, spill Bella. I can practically hear you blushing. A guy hot enough to make you forget everything and anyone, pisses you off, renders you speechless, is nice after all…. What's not to go for? Seriously. Your feelings for asshole aside, don't make the same mistake I did. You should try dating before you give your heart over to him for good Bella."
"Okay aside from- whatever with Jasper- Edward is engaged. And if you tell me that it doesn't matter if the guy is taken or not I will hurt you-"
"Wait, what?"
I took another deep breath, "He said that to me, while he was accusing me of cheating. He said that it didn't seem to matter to me if the guy was engaged or married-"
"That dick! He better hope he doesn't run into me anytime soon! I'm liable to not leave him with his balls intact! I can't believe him!"
And that opened the conversation up to Jasper again. As much as I didn't want it to. I told her all about that night, what he'd said, that he'd left, my falling, the next day… I told her everything, as hard as it was I got it all out for her. She was completely silent throughout making me worry about her reaction when she did give it.
"Bella, I don't know how to say this but…"
I sighed, "Just say it, doesn't matter if I like it or not. I probably need to hear whatever it is."
"Bella, he was… never like that with me. We would fight, and he would threaten to leave, sometimes he would leave but..." she sighed heavily. I figured he would walk out on her sometimes, I'd heard Rose say that was what he was good at. "This, this doesn't sound like him at all Bella. The irrational, almost volatile way he sounds… He was never possessive of me like that either. We fought over his issues with trust, yes. But he never accused me of looking or acting on attractions to someone else…"
"So? Every relationship is different Alice-"
"I don't think you should see him anymore Bella."
"What? Why? Because we fought? You guys fought-"
"Not like that Bella."
"And?"
She sighed, "Okay, just, I don't want to argue with you. I just got you back. It's just… promise me you'll really think about it before you make a decision about him? Know that I'll support whatever you decide, but I don't think you should see him anymore. It just doesn't sound like him. I think I know him pretty well Bella…"
She did know him well. I knew that. She knew him better than anyone else. I trusted her. I would listen to her.
"I promise."
