Chapter 12: Choices

Cat closed her eyes as she sunk into the sofa. She missed their sofa. It had been a week since Jamie birthday and apart from the night after where they drunk beers and ate pizza she had been avoiding him. It wasn't because she didn't want to see him because she did. If she was completely honest especially with her heart she found it hard to breath without seeing him, but after Jamie confessed how confusing it had been to have Sidney walk back into his life Cat wasn't sure she could be around him.

A knock on the door brought Cat out of her thoughts. Slowly walking over to her door Cat was surprised to find Max her grandfather' guard standing there.

"Max." Cat said.

Max smiled at her. Cat opened the door wider inviting him in but Max shook his head.

"Your grandfather asked that I bring you to his house." Max said.

Cat nodded she grabbed her coat from the hanger nearby before picking up the shoes she just kicked off. Leaning on Max as she did up her shoes.

"Why didn't he just call me?" Cat asked.

Max looked grim.

"I think he was afraid you wouldn't come after what happened." Max replied.

She could see the guilt in his eyes.

"It wasn't your t fault." Cat tried to argue.

Max shook his head but said nothing. Cat sighed but followed Max out to the car.

Her grandfather was waiting in his office for her, he looked tired and worn.

"Caterina." Her grandfather said softly when he saw her.

Cat smiled before greeting him in Italian. Her grandfather stood up and put his arms around her.

"I am sorry Caterina." He said.

Cat could hear the sorrow in his voice and it broke her heart.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Cat said trying to reassure him.

Her grandfather ignored her comment and just held her tighter before his body stiffened.

"I told you I never wanted to see your face again." Her grandfather said coldly.

Cat knew he was talking to her father, taking a deep breath Cat turned to look at Marco for the first time since he hit her.

"Heard the worthless trash was here." Marco slurred pointing to Cat a bottle of almost empty vodka in the other hand.

Cat felt her hold body go on edge as she tried to keep herself calm.

"Obviously Amy and Tom didn't raise her that well if she still just like her bitch of a mother." Marco spat and Cats restraint snapped.

"Maybe there the reason you'll always be alone." Marco added.

Cat laughed bitterly.

"What?" Marco demanded and Cat shook her head.

"What's so funny?" Marco yelled.

"You." Cat said coldly stepping towards him.

"You're the reason that I'll end up alone." Cat corrected.

She felt the tears pick up in her eyes.

"But your right about one thing." Cat said tears falling that she was too tired to hide or fight back.

"What's that?" Marco demanded.

"I am worthless. That's while I'll be alone because I am too screwed up, to useless to ever let myself mean anything to anyone." Cat said a sob escaping her mouth as thoughts of Jamie ran through her mind.

"Caterina." Her grandfather said but Cat held up her hand to stop him.

"So go ahead dad," Cat started cringing as she thought as Marco as her father.

"Call me whatever you want, but don't you dare blame anyone else for how pathetic, how unlovable, how worthless I am but yourself." Cat screamed.

She saw Marco's eye widen. Cat ran from her grandfather's house faster than she ever thought possible. Cat made a choice and now it was time to live with it.


Jamie new Cat was avoiding him and it hurt. He needed to find a way to speak to her, to see her, to find out what the hell was going on but there was one thing he had to do first. Sidney was waiting for him in the coffee shop when he got there, she hadn't notice him yet so Jamie stopped and looked at her. Sid looked pretty but she always had been but there was a difference in seeing her now then to seeing her then. Sure Jamie still found her attractive but he no longer loved her and he hadn't in a long time. Taking a deep breath Jamie walked over to the table.

"Hey," Jamie greeted.

Sidney stood up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hi." She said smiling sweetly.

The same smile that once would have made him feel breathless. Jamie took a seat and Sidney followed.

"How have you been?" Sid asked.

Jamie shook his head.

"What are you doing here Sid?" Jamie asked.

"You asked me to meet you here." Sid argued her brow slightly frowning.

"You not what I mean." Jamie replied and Sid sighed.

She took Jamie's hand.

"I missed you." She said softly.

Jamie took his hand back.

"I missed you too." Jamie replied honestly.

"But not in the same way right?" Sid asked and Jamie nodded.

Sid eyes dropped a little.

"I'm sorry." Jamie whispered knowing it wasn't really going to help.

Sid looked up and smiled at him sadly.

"It was that women on your birthday right?" Sid said.

"Cat." Jamie said nodding.

Sid smiled again.

"She's pretty." Sid commented.

Jamie looked at her.

"She is." Jamie agreed deciding that being honest was better.

Jamie smiled at the memory to Cat and Sid stood up. Jamie stood up too.

"I really hope she makes you happy." Sid said kissing Jamie on the cheek.

Jamie knew this was goodbye and hugged Sid tightly for a few seconds before letting her go.

"I hope you find happiness too." Jamie said.

Sid smiled before she turned and walked out of Jamie's life for good. Jamie had made a choice today and now all he had to do was do something about it.


Cat waited three long difficult days until she spoke to Jamie she need his family to be nearby when she finally talk to him. She needed to make sure he would be ok. It was Sunday afternoon when Hunter drove Cat to the Reagan household.

"Don't do this." Hunter said as he pulled up outside the house.

Cat ignored him as she got out the car, she knocked on the door. Sean answered and led her through to the dining room where the Reagans were eating dinner.

"I'm sorry." Cat said as she faced them.

"It's ok why don't you join us?" Frank suggested.

"I can't." Cat said smiling sadly at Frank.

Cat looked over at Jamie who was studying her intently.

"I just came to give you this." Cat said handing an envelope over to Jamie.

Jamie looked in the envelope.

"What's all this?" Jamie asked pulling out a handful of the money in there.

"It's the next six months rent and my keys to the apartment." Cat said softly refusing to meet his eyes.

"What's going on?" Jamie asked.

Cat shook her head as tears began to fall.

"Just read the letter." Cat begged.

She turned to leave but Jamie got up and grabbed her arm. He turned her round forcing her to face.

"Tell me what's going on." Jamie demanded.

Tears fell faster from Cat eyes.

"Let me go Jamie, please just read the letter." Cat begged looking into his eyes.

Confusion and hurt started back at her.

"I am so sorry." Cat whispered.

She knew Jamie was going to let her go without a fight. She took the envelope from his hand and pulled out her letter she placed it in his hands. Jamie opened his mouth to speak but Cat silenced him but pressing his lips to hers. It was her goodbye. Jamie kissed her back automatically it was slow and intense, his lips felt perfect against hers but that only made it more painful. Cat pulled away and rested her forehead on his.

"Goodbye Jamie, I hope you find the happiness you deserve." Cat whispered.

She kissed him once more before she turned and left without looking back. She got into the car Hunter drove away immediately and the tears fell faster then she thought possible. Hunter took her hand as he drove.

"Idiot." Hunter mumbled softly.

Sobs broke from Cats throat and she put her head on Hunter shoulder and cried as he drove.

"It's going to be ok." Hunter soothed over and over again.


Jamie sunk into his chair as Cat walked away. He wanted to go after her but he knew it would be pointless there was nothing he could say that was going to change her mind. He looked down at the note in his hand and slowly with shaking hands opened the paper.

Jamie,

How do I say everything you deserve to hear in a signal letter? How do I explain why I have to leave? How do I explain why falling for you isn't the greatest thing in the world, like it should be? The truth is I can't.

The day I met you I should have known moving in with you would be a bad idea but I couldn't help myself. You are attractive, sweet, kind, generous and one of the greatest men of ever known. Everything I should never have allowed myself to be around. I am so screwed up, I see someone loving and caring and the first thing I want to do is run and hide. You deserved to be loved by someone who can love you as whole heartedly as you would love them and I am not sure I could ever be that person. My mother never wanted me, she wanted my father's money and when she got that she was gone. My father hates my very existence, made me feel so worthless, so unlovable that I started to believe and now I can't stop.

The last year with you has been one of the hardest years of my life but other than losing Tom I wouldn't change a moment of it. Falling for you has been one of the greatest and most amazing things I have ever done. I hope that one day you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved, someone that will keep the amazing smile on your beautiful face. Someone more deserving of your love than me. Be safe , be good to your family they are amazing.

Love,

Cat.

Jamie stood up from his sit. How could she think she wasn't deserving of his love?

"I have to tell her." Jamie mumbled as someone pushed him back in his seat.

Jamie looked up to find his father looking down at him.

"I have to tell her." Jamie said.

"Give her some time son." His father said.


Note: Just wanted to say thank you for reading and dont worry they want be apart for long. Next chapter will hopefully be out tomorrow its called Marco.